"Professor Slughorn?" I asked, walking into the NEWTs potions class immediately after dismissal. The round man looked up from his desk and narrowed his pale, gooseberry eyes at me before putting down his quill.
"What may I do for you, dear?" he asked, pushing out of his seat and rounding his desk. "You're not in any of my classes, are you?"
"Actually, Professor, that's what I'd like to talk to you about" I said, rocking back and forth on my heels awkwardly in the doorframe.
His impossibly beady eyes widened and he gestured for me to come in. "In that case, come in, come in!" he shuffled back over to his desk before waving his wand and pulling out a chair for me. "Tea?"
I nodded carefully and sat down across from the man, biting my lip and trying to fight down the feeling of anxiety in my stomach. I watched as the tea poured itself into two tiny cups before he handed me one.
"Now, uhm....." he looked at me quizzically and folded his napkin.
"Acelynne. Acelynne Connors" I said, cupping my hands around my mug and looking around his office briefly.
Slughorn brought his cup back down to the table as he looked at me over his brows, his moustache twitching in recognition. "Any relation to Jacobson Connors?" he asked, his voice dripping with curiosity.
"He's my father" I said, taking a quick sip of my tea and holding back a grimace as I reached for the sugar.
"I remember him well. An amazing student, very quiet. How is he doing?" he said thoughtfully as he smoothed the end of his moustache.
"Well. Now, Professor, if you don't mind me going off-topic, I have a question to ask you" I said, placing my shaking hands under the table. His answer was going to be the thing that literally made, or ruined, my future.
"Oh yes, ask away" he laughed, the dim light overhead reflecting off of his bald head.
"I heard from some of the other students that you were accepting students that achieved an 'Exceeds Expectations' on our OWL exam, instead of the previous 'Outstanding' that Professor Snape wanted?" I twiddled with my thumbs under the table, trying to slow my breathing.
"That is true! Why do you ask? Do you wish to be a part of my class?" he said, his face remaining serious as he pushed his teacup away.
"Yes, I would. You see, I'm aiming on becoming a Healer after a graduate and for that I need to have at least an Exceeds Expectations in NEWTs potions.... Which requires me to actually be in NEWTs potions" I laughed nervously and waited for his answer.
The walrus-like man clasped his hands together on the top of the table and stared at me, which unnerved me quite a bit. What if he said no? Then what would I do with my life? I hadn't thought of any sort of career path until Healer Wincher recommended this to me. Maybe I would have to work at the shop for the rest of my life. Or.... be a trophy wife.
I shuddered at the thought.
"I don't see why it would be a problem, Ms. Connors, as long as you swear that you'll work hard and get all of your work in on time" he said finally, and I let out an audible sigh of relief.
I jumped from my seat and reached my hand over the desk, clasping one of his cold hands in mine and shaking it with vigour. "Thank you Professor, you have no idea how much this means to me! I promise that I'll be the hardest working student in your class!"
"Okay, Ms. Connors" he smiled as I pulled my hand away from his and skipped over to the door. "I believe you."
"I swear I won't let you down!" I said, bubbling with excitement as I ran out of his office and into the corridor.
_______________________________________________________________________
I'm definitely going to let Slughorn down, I thought to myself as I stared at the monstrosity that was my pile of homework. In fact, I was going to let everyone down. Slughorn, McGonagall, Sprout, Flitwick, even Snape (and I disappointed him on a daily basis). There was no way that I was going to be able to finish all of this homework in one night, let alone do this much work each night for the rest of the year.
Maybe I just wasn't cut out to be a Healer.
Merlin, we are not going back to this are we?, inner me voiced from the back of my mind.
We both know it's true. All I'm doing is fooling myself. Really? A healer? I have to be an idiot to think I could actually accomplish this.
We've had this conversation every day for the past two weeks and you're not coming up with anything I haven't heard before, she snapped at me.
You're not listening then! All of the reasons I'm giving you are perfectly logical.
No, they're the reasons that I'd expect from a lazy person, she chided. 'It's too much work. I can't do it. BLAH BLAH BLAH!' her voice went up several octaves as, I think, she tried to imitate me.
I do not sound like that.
Are you sure?
You make me sound like an injured chipmunk.
Your point?
I'm pretty sure I don't sound like an injured chipmunk.
Then you aren't hearing yourself clearly.
But you're always going off about how we are the same so if I sound like that, you do too.
......
I win this round, don't I?
No! No you don't! So just shut up and listen okay? You do fine with the in-class work and you'll do the homework just fine if you are willing to put in the hours.
You mean every hour of every day for the next two years? I'm going to have to skip meals, pull all nighters, work through holidays....
And? Don't you think it'll be worth it in the long run? You want to help people, don't you? People like you?
Of course I want to help people, but how can I help people like myself when I can't even help myself?!
You haven't had potion in months! You're doing great! Practically getting better by the day!
You really think so?
I know so!
Healer School is expensive! How will I be able to pay for that?
Your dad? Loans? We'll be able to figure it out and besides! You'll be able to pay it all back within a few years of working and then you won't have to worry about a thing!
You've figured all of this out already, haven't you?
I have a lot of time on my hands.
I can tell.
So, you're going to keep studying to be a Healer?
Do I have any choice?
Nope. And don't sound so sad about it! You want this, deep deep DEEP down. If you didn't then I wouldn't be trying to convince you, now would I?
You make a good point.
I know. Now get back to work or else you'll get detention!
With a sigh, I broke myself away from the conversation and stared down at my enormous pile of books. I guess I could do this, if I worked extra hard. I wasn't kidding about having to skip meals or pull all nighters. There was a reason that I wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw, and I wasn't exactly Hermione.
Now, to start on that Transfiguration essay.....
______________________________________________________________________________
The lobby of the Ministry of Magic was over-crowded, teeming to the brim with faceless witches and wizards that passed right by me. One wizard in a dark green robe pushed right past me, knocking me back into The Fountain of Magical Brethren. As my shoulder connected with the stone, a wave of pain moved up my arm and caused me to whimper.
I should have followed that man and asked him to apologize, but there wasn't any time. I had to talk to the Minister. He had to know. It was a complete emergency.
But for the life of me, I couldn't remember what I needed to tell him.
It didn't matter. I pushed away from the fountain and forced my way back into the crowd. I struggled to make my own way but I was forced to follow the current of the crowd, which seemed to be spiralling down into the middle of the room.
"I need to talk to the Minister!" I shouted to the middle aged man beside me.
He barely turned his head towards me before saying, "As do we all" and faced forwards again.
"What?" I asked, but he wasn't listening to me. He had begun to hum along to the mindless elevator music that was playing from nowhere. The man swayed as he walked and was eventually pushed away from me.
As much as I fought against the current, I couldn't break free and eventually fell into line with the workers. The time dragged on and it seemed like hours of walking in circles before the speed of the current began to slow.
Curiously, I jumped up in an attempt to catch a glimpse at what caused the line to slow. It was a thin man with a mane of tawny hair, sitting at a mahogany desk in the center of the room. He watched as a Newton's Cradle swung on his desk, never stopping, his eyes following every movement it made.
"Minister!" I cried, pushing through the slowing crowd and to the front. I was able to pass the workers with ease, their attention obviously somewhere else, and made it to the front of the line.
"Minister!" I panted, my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath. "Minister, there's something you need to know!"
"Yes, yes. Not now my dear" he waved his hand dismissively at me as he watched the balls swing back and forth.
"But you're in danger! Everyone's in danger!" I tried to explain, but he merely held his hand up and continued watching the toy.
"My dear, my dear, I know" he sighed but still refused to look up at me. "If you have anything to add to the issue, then please, feel free to talk to my head of staff." And with that, he grabbed the swinging balls, finally putting them to rest.
"And who would that be, Minister?" I asked, letting my tone slip recklessly.
A hand clamped down on my shoulder, turning me around so I was facing them. Her skin was pale and virtually flawless, showing no signs of make-up other than the faint gloss on her lips. I wouldn't have even guessed it was her if I hadn't immediately noticed her unnaturally red hair and imagined her with smeared and messy eye make-up.
"How may I help you?" Alexi smiled, her lips curling up and exposing her pearly (albeit somewhat pointed) teeth.
"You" I whispered, turning to the Minister in shock. "She's a death-eater" the words tumbled from my lips, but the Minister had gone back to watching his Newton's Cradle and couldn't care less about me.
"I'm sorry dear, I don't believe I caught your name" she smiled innocently, cocking her head to the side.
Wordlessly, I whipped myself out of her grasp and darted back into the crowd, forcing myself against the current once more. Alexi didn't follow me, didn't make any notion that I had even talked to her, merely standing next to the Minister's desk and began to watch the toy with him.
The workers stopped moving, the elevator-type music stopped playing, and the air went suddenly cold. My legs slowed, unintentionally, and I looked down in desperation. I willed my legs to move faster, but it felt as though they had been transformed into giant sandbags.
"Help!" I attempted to scream, but my voice came out no louder than a squeak.
I might have well have been a dinosaur with a projection spell on his voice. Everyone in the room turned their heads simultaneously towards me, their eyes wide and completely blank as they opened their mouths in unison.
"No need to run, darling" they said in a flat, monotone voice. "There's no way to escape."
I sat up in bed, the sheets tangled around at my feet as I clutched the material at the front of my shirt. I had only been awake for two seconds and the dream was slipping away faster than I could remember it. It was an incomprehensible blur, and yet I couldn't stop my hands from shaking or will my breaths to slow.
Even when the dream was long gone, I remained sitting up in bed with my knees drawn up to my chest. My eyes adjusted to the dark, allowing me to make out the faint silhouettes of my pillows, my legs, everything surrounded in the reddish hue that was the bed curtains.
Although I couldn't see it, I could practically feel the trunk at the end of my bed pulsation with energy from what was inside. Those little bottles that I couldn't seem to shake, all but called my name.
Sighing, I bit my lip and laid back in bed, forcing myself to look up at the ceiling. Forcing myself to think of anything else. I settled for listing off the different kinds of magical creatures.
Dragons. Blast-ended Skrewts. Vampyre Mosps. Flobberworms. Salamanders. Hippogriffs. Erklings.....
I yawned, letting my eyes flutter and finally close. That wasn't so hard. Maybe inner Ace is right. I am stronger than this.
Or at least, I think I am.