Lupin pushed me through a door that turned out to be leading to his bedroom. I tried not to look around.
"Hide somewhere and don't make a sound." He said, then closed the door behind him. A second later I heard someone entering the living room. "Hello Minerva." He greeted the visitor, "What brings you here?"
"There's no time. Sirius Black broke into the castle." I heard. Great. "We're just evacuating all students to the Great Hall, we need you to help search the building"
"I'll be down, I'll just get dressed."
The door closed and the clatter of McGonagall's shoes ceased. Lupin immediately showed up in the room.
"What do we do?" His voice was quavering, his eyes fixed on me. He didn't know how to get out of this situation. We were in a very risky position; if I'm not in the Great Hall, people will start looking for me and if I'm late they will ask where I have been.
"Relax, nothing will happen." I assured him, encouraging myself at the same time. "I'll go to the nearest bathroom and stay there until someone finds me. I'll say some boy broke my heart this night and cry a little. They should buy it."
Lupin shook his head, putting on a flannel shirt, "Black is somewhere in the castle, I won't let you be alone."
"So find me. Then you'll escort me to the very entrance." I said, walking to the door. "C'mon, we don't have much time."
He didn't seem happy, but he followed me. He was the first to show up at McGonagall's, I left a moment later. I took my shoes off so as not to make any noise. I was running through the corridors, praying that one of the teachers wouldn't suddenly come around the corner.
Lupin found me before I even got to the bathroom. He was, thankfully, alone. He mumbled my name as I fell into his arms. We only split up about ten minutes ago and on the first occasion I was clinging to him anyway.
"You alright? Anything on Black?" I asked while we were making our way to the ground floor in a hurry.
"He attacked the painting to the Gryffindor Tower. We know he was here, but there is no trace of him."
The route from the first floor wasn't long, so we stopped talking before someone could hear us by accident. Dumbledore stood outside the entrance to the Great Hall to protect the students. When he noticed me, he raised an eyebrow.
"Miss Jenkins? The Slytherin students have been relocated a long time ago." He remarked, staring at me. I held my shoes in one hand, and with the other I tried to fix the makeup that was running down my face, which I had cleverly smeared just a minute ago.
"Whatever." I replied, playing angry. I entered the room without looking back. Lupin had to justify me himself.
I found Brook and Jaylee who threw me a sleeping bag. They gave me suggestive glances. I rolled my eyes and lay down gratefully on the ground. I was tired of the attractions of this night. I could use a good night's sleep. The only thing I was worried about was the lack of a bathroom while almost the entire Snake House was drunk.
The next day both my back and head hurt. There was no trace of Black and the teachers expected us to participate in classes as if nothing happened. It was unimaginable to me, so after breakfast I went straight to my own bed and slept through the first two lessons.
I got a letter from my parents. Not just any letter, they didn't write to me for no reason. As soon as I recognized their handwriting, it spoiled my humour for the rest of the day. I put off reading it for as long as I could but when the evening came, I opened the envelope, fearing that my parents expected me to answer immediately.
Dear daughter Ethelyn, it said
We are pleased to announce that we will be organizing our annual Christmas Feast with the Girnsle family this year. We all expect you and Ryley to show up together, needn't I tell you, we won't let you in with any other boy. Me and your father won't wait any longer.
That was it. No "hugs", "love" or even "best regards". My mother didn't even put her name on it. Here was my loving family.
It wasn't the end of the world. My life hasn't started to break down, I haven't been disinherited or anything. But I felt extremely bad about it. They took away my right to choose. I didn't live my life, I was just following their orders.
That evening I went to the third floor. I kissed Lupin as soon as he opened the door. He was obviously taken aback but didn't resist me. "Slow down", he tried to say between kisses. "Did something happen?"
I didn't let him talk. Not what I needed now. I wanted to forget, I wanted to feel that I was still in control of my life. Oh, what would my parents say if they saw me then... I could imagine their angry faces. They would have probably said that I'm unworthy, that they're ashamed of me or that I was messing with them. They would've probably punished me and plan my whole life for me.
My energy was too much for Lupin. I pressed my whole body against him and he struggled to keep his balance. I was expecting what he would say, but I asked anyway "Couch or bed?"
He rested his forehead on mine and gasped "Tell me what's going on."
There was no such possibility. I couldn't tell him about Ryley if I wanted my mission to succeed. But was I there for a mission or for myself? I didn't want to admit it. For what other reason would I be doing what I was doing then, if not for the mission?
So I didn't answer him and took him to the couch instead. I pushed him down onto the seat and then leaned against him. I was like a storm, pure fury, untamed power. I was doing everything to be just here and now.
As I went down and began to place kisses on his neck, he tensed and a low groan came out of his mouth. It was such an enchanting sound. I ran my tongue over one of his scars. His hands found my face and brought it back to his mouth.
Meanwhile, I grabbed my robe and threw it somewhere on the floor. I had dealt with all the buttons of my sweater and was already taking it over my head when
„Ethelyn, don't." He whispered into my face. No one but my parents called me by my full name. They made me dislike it. It sounded so much better from his lips.
I tried to ignore him and kiss him again but he turned his head.
„Why are you like this?" He asked, searching my eyes for the truth.
„Like what? Like I want you?" I tried to sound humorous.
„No, like you're using me to cheer yourself up."
It sounded cruel from his mouth. In no case did I want him to feel that way. It was true I was using him from the very beginning, but that didn't mean he had to be aware of it.
I was looking for the right words, trying to find some excuse, I needed to say anything that could explain myself. And he looked at me with these chocolate eyes of his that emphasized my remorse.
Seeing my insecurity, he touched my cheek. "You can talk to me."
I was torn. For some reason, I felt that what I was doing to Lupin was totally wrong. He didn't deserve to be treated this way. I knew that I should not share my private matters with him, that this was not what I was supposed to do, that I was only there to seduce him.
But I knew he would help me. That he would listen to me even if he didn't like what he heard. Because he cared for me and I was such a horrible person that I let him.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this, I don't deserve you..." I couldn't meet his eyes. I got off his lap and tried to find my robe.
"On this we can agree. I think you deserve better."
I almost fell over. I turned slowly to him. I couldn't believe what I heard. Sure, the gap between us was obvious. Just... the way he said it made me sad. There was no pain or even sorrow in his voice, he said it as if he were talking about the weather. As if what he said was so obvious that it was indisputable.
"You have no idea what you're talking about." I assured him.
He laughed and hid his face in his hands. This conversation required a lot from him. "Let's not fool ourselves. What can I possibly give you?"
"I thought we're past that." I muttered. It annoyed me he was mentioning that again.
"But that's your future." He said quickly. "I thought that sooner or later you'll let go, that you'll get bored with me, but I don't want to waste your time hoping that you'll come to such a conclusion yourself."
It was like a punch to the stomach. I didn't know what to say to that. He didn't have the courage not to let our relationship begin in the first place but he was going to accept whatever I had to offer him as long as I was interested?
"You don't get to say this now. Not after all of that." I said, trying to calm myself down. "I'm not going anywhere."
He sighed heavily. He held out his hands to me, but I didn't approach him, being offended a little bit. I pointed my finger on him, "Better you never mention it again."