April Fool's Day, a day of laughs and jokes. It was also Fred and George's birthday, believe it or not. It would seem that it was their fate to become pranksters from the day that they were born. That morning, common room had been filled with balloons and streamers, a pile of presents floating behind them wherever they went. I caught them out in the courtyard, following the laughter that endlessly accompanied them.
"Happy Birthday Fred!" I gave him a hug and handed him his neatly wrapped beaters bat. I had special ordered them for the boys, mostly with Fred in mind but it was hard to by only one twin a gift. Everyone knew that the Weasley's were a bit short on gallons, thus their second hand Quiditch equipment. I passed George's gift to him without actually looking at him but turned my attention back to Fred.
His eyes were alight as he ripped the paper off, revealing the solid mahogany red bats with gold handle grips, and their initials craved into the tips of the bat. His fingers traced the FGW on the end and bounced the bat in his hand. It had set me back but I think it was worth it.
"Thanks Ace" Fred said and pulled me into a one armed hug.
"Yeah this is really something" George commented and my breath caught in my throat. George had talked to me for the first time in months and he wasn't grimacing or giving me a sad puppy dog look. He looked genuinely happy to say the least. He reached out his arm tentatively and wrapped it around my shoulder in an awkward but genuine way.
"You know, some of us Quiditch buffs are planning on having a scrimmage down on the field today, want to come play?" Fred tucked the bat into his satchel as George released me from his grasp, nodding.
"Guy's really, I've just started to fly again but I don't think that I am ready for a full on game of Quiditch." To be honest, I hadn't even been on a broom since George took me flying. The boys nodded understandingly and turned around, walking towards the pitch. I shuffled my feet and looked at the soggy ground covered in slush. The damp air clouded around my head as I let out a visible breath, had George and I really just talked?
"You don't fly?" Ramsey asked, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my hips. Fred and George nodded politely at Ramsey and turned away in the direction of the Quidditch pitch. Fred's final look read of more offence than George, who gave a half-salute on his way out of the courtyard.
I shook my head and leant back into his chest. Ramsey was good, non-complicated, simple, and caring, why wouldn't I like him? He cared about me, didn't cause me trouble, didn't ask why I couldn't go to Hogsmead and sat with me the whole day.
Yeah sure, you keep telling yourself that... said a voice in my head. An auditory conscience I had developed through the past few months of dating Ramsey and so far I was not enjoying it.
Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about, I snapped back internally. IT really had started to annoy me.
Yes I do, I am you whether or not you choose to believe it.
You are not me. Now go away.
I can't go away, even though right now I really would like to. I am a part of you, a very deep part in which you refuse to accept...
I'm hearing voices.... dear Merlin I'm going crazy aren't I?
You are not going crazy now if you please shut your horrendously large mouth for a second so I can at least finish a single thought.
No, you should never listen to the voices in your head. That's when you start to really go crazy. Like in second year with the giant snake. Maybe this is my own giant snake.
SHUPUPANDLETMEFINISHONEBLOODYTHOUGHT!
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala, I can't hear you.
Yes you can you minger. I am in your head, I am you! Do we have to go through this AGAIN?!
Don't call me a minger, if I am a minger then you are too.
Fine, whatever...
Don't give me attitude!
.....
Giving me the silent treatment huh? That REAL mature. Note to self; go ask Madame Pomfrey to give me some potion for SOMETHING... Get it? Note to self?
Ha-ha, will you please listen to me?
Fine, go ahead. I give you free will or reign or whatever. Speak your mind... my mind...our mind... THE MIND
Merlin, you're impossible. Anyways, I was going to say that you obviously don't feel the same about Ramsey as you do about George, who, by the way, you still have feelings for.
Stop right there, I've heard enough. I do not have feelings for George! Those are long gone and you are very wrong.
AHA! You denied your feelings about George but didn't say anything about Ramsey. I was right.
Just piss off okay? I love Ramsey, love love love love love. Wanna see me prove it?
Okay, you go ahead and prove it.
I will so just watch me.
"Ace, are you okay?" Ramsey was staring at me, concerned. His pale face was tinted pink, his raw hands on my shoulders. I blinked several times, separating myself from the voice in my head and took a step closer to him.
"Yes, I am very much okay" I could feel my mischievous smile working its way onto my face, creeping up until it just about reached my ears. I did LIKE Ramsey, truly. I liked his Scottish accent, his chocolate brown eyes that sparkled and danced but remained ever so serious, the way his hands, worn and beaten, callused with so many years of rough sports were always so gentle.
Yet I had taken it slowly with him, afraid to repeat my mistake with George of moving too fast for our own good and burning out too quickly. I hadn't gone farther than the good night peck with Ramsey, maybe it was time to start.
Maybe it was time to prove myself wrong. A step closer that was all I needed. A step that seemed like a gigantic leap across a ravine. It wasn't this hard with Geo- with the other one. I took a deep breath and stepped in, our lips meeting in the middle.
At first he was hesitant, maybe in shock but he tuned into my rhythm quickly. Our lips moved against each other softly as he brought his hands to the top of my hips. My hands slide up to the side of his face, cupping his jaw and stayed there. No hair tangling or pulling each other closer even though we were practically melded together. My stomach stayed strong, not a butterfly in sight, my breath only catching when I realised I had held it for too long. Comfortable.
"Wow" he said as I stepped back and took a deep breath of relief. It wasn't that bad, it was quite nice really. "Do you know how long I've waited for that?"
I pecked him on the lips again. "Well the waits over, I'm yours." He blushed a tiny bit and glanced at his silver, goblin-made watch.
"I promised the boys that I would go play Quiditch with them this afternoon so I'm going to head out.... Maybe sometime I can show you how to play Quiditch?" he took both of my hands in a proposal type of way.
"Sounds great" I said, filling my voice with false happiness. I didn't want to play Quiditch, I preferred not to die a horrific death. His face glowed as he turned around and headed towards the pitch and I let out a sign I didn't realise I had been holding in.
See, I do love him!
No you just snogged him, doesn't mean you love him. It's not like now you have to go elope and have pretty little Quiditch playing babies.
Maybe we will, just to spite you.
That would be in spite, not in love.
I can't listen to you anymore. I'm right.
.....
GO I KNOW YOU ARE STILL IN THERE!
I stormed back into the castle, looking like a lunatic as I shrieked at the top of my lungs.
Talk about self denial I heard a the voice whisper softly under-breadth.