Portraying a constant poker face has its advantage.
I do not portray emotions on my face. Not that I don't know how to. I know, I think. But I have never really expressed it. Because I was not allowed to. I was taught to always keep my emotions in check and present a poker face. Not smiling widely yet not defensive. A rather creepy small smile. Creepy because I was around 6 or 7, I think when I first made that face and people asked a child why she is smiling like that. But I just kept on saying, 'never show any emotions. They are bad.' Almost bad-mouthed my father, except I didn't say his name.
Now it is a good thing because it secured many business deals and thus the prom is now elegant, extravagant and the tickets are not that costly anymore either. We also have a band. Made a deal with a nearby limo service to rent us limos for our prom. People would pay but less and instead they can advertise at our venue. So, we have advertisements and that made us get the hotel banquet the prom committee wanted. I don't remember the name of the hotel, but it has a rather uncommon name, and it is big, at least the banquet hall is big. And as usual almost everyone got themselves a room here. We all booked rooms as well. Is it separate rooms or just a suite I do not know.
The days after we joined the committee were hectic. Charlie and I soon realized that the calculations for the budget was wrong. Correcting that made them cry in frustration as they were short of the amount, they needed to pull it off. Then the venue price increased, the band cancelled, I think. And they were yet to ask from businesses around. And that is where I came in. I had no idea I could but somehow by some miracle I did. We got enough to book a different venue one they wanted but were not able to because of the money. Then everything started to fall into place. Maybe not but I was not that involved except the overall stuffs. Charlie and I saw the money factor, then we gave them the idea to reduce the price of the tickets and then the limo service deal came through. Thus, we have limos for all of us. Only, thing a group of like 8 to 10 people has to take one limo. Well, we don't mind considering we have that many people in our friend group.
It is senior prom, so not all of my friends are going today. Some decided to work today like June and Jake. They will be managing the tickets so the prom committee people can enjoy. Alice and Jeffrey asked to be in the coat room. That way they are at the place but not really there. Only Silver and Danny are not helping. Charlie. Well, I do not know. Seeing as she failed to mention this simple tidbit of information to me. I am going with Diane of course. She asked me in a cute way not that I was never going to say no. But the way she asked was so cute.
So, Diane prepared a cheer. They performed it one day as I was watching them practice before the last game. But that was not the day she asked. No, she asked on the game day. That cheer was a way to I guess prepare me for what to come. Seeing as those were the words to the cheer. Then on the day of the game at half time. They cheered again, and some of our basketball guys came on the court to shoot. Every time they shoot a basket a letter popped in the red light. Final sentence was, 'would you go to the prom with me?' Then all of the cheerleaders put a torchlight on Diane to indicate she is asking as if I thought someone else would. I immediately said yes. She dared me to shoot a basket. So, I did. On the right side one. I did after like fifth try and then the red light read yes. She then told me the left one had no set up.
I was super excited to tell Charlie about it. But she was there that day and saw the whole thing. I told her still just like I told all of my friends who were present there as well. Along with Tori and Liz. I was too excited. I even called and told the Millers. It was all good till then. It changed again when I asked Charlie if she is coming to prom or not. That is when she became silent again. At least she did not run this time. That ought to mean something, right? Probably it does, seeing as this is Charlie, who was once my best friend. Now? I think we are barely even friends.
Trusting someone and letting someone in is very difficult for me. Truth be told I might not even know how to. Because you see there were few people whom I loved granted in different extent, but it was love, nonetheless. And I trusted them with all of me. Maize, the one person who has my heart, the one I dreamed of having a future with. As my wife, my best friend, my family. Well one afternoon, one drive changed that. My sister Tori, I loved her, still do. She was my family. How do I explain it? I always thought of her as more of my family than my parents. Well, she left one afternoon when I was too young to comprehend that her bye that day meant I won't be seeing her again for the next twelve years. I was too young to understand that but not too young to not see that I was all alone then. Well maybe not, I had the Millers. That brings me to Mathew the last person whom I trusted and let in. He left too, and with him gone, all the people I sort of believed to be my family, I guess were gone. So, you see whoever I care about, and trust they just up and left me. Sometimes, they leave the world, like Maize did. Other times they reappear like Tori, Liz and now Matt.
When Matt left, he left a hole in me. I didn't know I had that till I saw him again. Because then I was truly left alone. My parents who were supposed to be something never were. Not even when I was a walking zombie, alive but not really. Well, I wasn't supposed to be alive in the first place so...I guess you know what I mean, right? Then I came here and met Charlie. Lee captured my attention so fast. She made me like her, trust her, believe her, and slowly let her in. What happened next? Same thing that always happened. She did not leave but one way or another she did. It's so surreal that it keeps on happening to me. In my old school, there were people who talked to me, who teased me, who bullied me although not quite sure the reason for the last one. But then again do bullies need a reason other than, a kid with a smart mouth. I guess not, because I always retorted back to them and well...let's just say being a punching bag does not hurt much after a while. They never were able to throw more than two punches though. Because I too know how to fight. Granted I am not very good at it, and I choose never to. But I can protect myself most times more or less.
You must be wondering why I am saying all these things now. Well, now is my idyllic time. As now I am waiting for Diane to walk down the stairs. It sounds very cliché because it is. Diane wanted to do the whole rom-com scene where the girl walks down the stairs all dressed up for prom, and in her case instead of the guy, I, a girl is standing. This made me ask her why she wanted to do this in the first place. Her answer was a dashing smile and mind melting kiss. Well, my brain was fogged to ask after that. So, now I am contemplating my life, while waiting for her to walk down the stairs. It is not like I have been waiting for long. No. It's probably only just been about fifteen to twenty minutes now.
Finally, Diane walks down in a sea green off shoulder dress. The dress itself is beautiful but Diane wearing it makes my breath hitch a bit. No wonder she wanted to do the whole walking down the stairs bit. Now I get it. And I have one word, Damn. I am pretty sure, currently, I do not know how to speak. She is looking absolutely gorgeous. Her hair is in a messy bun which anyone would think why, but it makes her face looks more captivating. The way the lose strands of hair purposely falls on her face for Diane to brush them and put them behind her ear. I want to reach out and do it so much. I am pretty sure that is why Diane did this hairstyle. When I realized she is almost just a step away from reaching me. I prepared my brain to form words.
Alas, the only thing that came out of my mouth is a gasp followed by a sigh. Because of my inability to speak. I shake my head and cough a little to try again. "Diane...you...incre...wow...me....words....no. WOW!" Did I really just say that? Dammit idiot!
Diane giggled at my well lack of words to complement her. But I feel I got the sentiment across. I see a smile is placed on her face, the look in her eyes is something interesting though. One that I have never seen before, and one that I cannot decipher. It is intriguing me to find out at the same time making me scared. Now my brain is back to thinking could I love Diane? Can I let her in? Can I let her know the real me, all of me? But why bother she will graduate in a month and will be leaving in what four months now at maximum. So, I guess it's better that it is not clear to me what I feel for Diane other than I really, really like her.
Flashes. Thousands of flashes later. We are finally on our way to the place we are having dinner. Mark and Amy, Grace and her date, Julia and her date and us. It was Amy and Diane's idea to have dinner so that we can just dance at prom. Diane wanted her friends as well. So, now we would be spending time with them. Also, the limo needs like 8 to 10 people for one ride that is the deal, so this works. We exit the limo and enter the restaurant, which is not very extravagant but just a simple place. I am just very glad it is not a pizza place like Mark initially suggested. That would be a disaster.
Dinner is going well. Grace is behaving although she is still eyeing us every five second, but she has not been a bitch since...well for a while now. And her date the guy is busy asking questions to all of us. I have no idea who that is, or if I ever saw him. Julia is trying to diffuse the tension between Grace and Diane, but I didn't know about it till Julia pointed it out. And her date, he is a very shy guy who is talking only when asked. He is keeping to himself, and I definitely remember him from the one-time last semester when our classes were combined for a fun quiz day for Statistics class. I am talking to well almost everyone. All this time I was holding Diane's hand which when Grace notices she rolls her eyes. I saw it but chose to ignore it. At least for now. But Diane has other plans.
"Why did you roll your eyes Grace?"
"Why do you think Diane?" Grace retorted in the same tone as Diane as if that answers the question.
"Diane, listen no matter whatever her reasons are, don't bother with it today. It is senior prom tonight and we are going to have fun. We are going to enjoy every minute of it and will not let Grace or anyone bring us down. Okay?" I asked Diane as I whispered it into her ear. Diane nods her head, and I kiss her temple in response to her nod.
Now, we are on our way to the venue. Finally. If only the next fifteen or however many minutes we sit in the limo could pass swiftly and without any new drama. Diane is laying her head on my shoulder and playing with my fingers. A new thing she started few weeks ago. I am staring at Diane and thinking. Thinking about how we met, everything in between. We did not have much drama in our relationship. We never really fought like I have seen people fight. Yes, we did have small fights, but we made up quickly as well. Does this mean anything?
More clicks and several deep breaths later we approach the venue. It is very brightly lit, and this year's theme is starry night, I think. I did not pay attention when they discussed these stuffs in the meetings. We show the tickets to none other than Jake and June. They smiled and wished us to have a really good evening. Then we went to the coat checker even though we do not need to we still went. Alice and Jeffrey hugged us over the counter and finally we entered the hall. Diane's friends already clicked pictures as soon as we stepped off the limo. But we have to get the mandatory prom picture. Mandatory according to Diane. So, we pose as goofballs and have our picture taken.
Dance floor was calling us. I would say that. Diane is being careful with me. I know that. I hate that she is being like this and not enjoying her night fully. But she keeps reassuring me she is enjoying. I can only hope. We dance to a soft slow song. Soon, the music turned to an upbeat song and Diane is pulling me away from the dance floor. Like really girl! I oblige her. It is her night after all. This school has a policy when they call it a senior prom no one except seniors are invited. But if your date is a junior that can be an exception. But not for sophomores or freshmen. Therefore, juniors work the ticket booth like Jake and June. Because like us there are many people who are friends with the seniors and want to be here. Only a handful of us juniors can work though.
We sit for a while sipping on the obviously spiked punch. It is not bad what can I say. I am liking the extreme sugary alcohol. It has a certain kick to it. Diane is eyeing me and trying to control her laugh whenever I am taking a sip. Mark and Amy join us at the table. Amy feels exhausted, Mark is still energized it seems.
"Why are you guys not dancing?" Amy asks. Well Amy I would like to know that too.
Diane just points at me and mouths something. Okay enough. I call Mark over.
"Hey Amy, are you too tired to dance?" Amy nods yes. "Mark would you dance with Diane?" Mark smiles. Guess that's a yes.
"Babe it's okay." Diane whines.
"Listen Diane. I know you are not enjoying just sitting here. And I know you are not dancing because you are worried about me. Well, this is your prom night and I want you to have a great night. So, you can dance with Mark as long as both Mark and Amy are comfortable with it. That way you are dancing, and I am not overly exhausting myself." I finish saying then release a breath I had no idea I was holding in.
"But babe I want to dance with you."
"Then let's dance babe."
"Kris your leg."
"This is why Diane. Go on. Dance for a couple of minutes I will join you. Don't worry."
Diane reluctantly takes Mark's hand and goes to the dance floor.
"You know you are a good girlfriend." Amy says. I smile at her.
"How's your feet Amy? It must be killing you wearing those heels?"
"It's not that bad. But I surely needed to rest. Wanna go get more punch with me?"
"Hell yeah. The sugary mixture blended with alcohol has a nice kick to it." Amy laughs at my reply.
I spot Julia dancing with her date. The shy guy seems to be a good dancer. Whereas Grace is sitting her date is nowhere to be seen. She is eyeing Diane. We drink the punch a little. And then go back to sit at the table. The song then changes to a slow number, and I go to ask if I can dance with my girlfriend. Diane's smile to my request, and it lightens up my mood. She seems so happy. And I just want her to be happy at least for tonight. I do not want to think of the future, of what is going to happen. Nothing of sorts.
We keep on dancing after that. I do not feel tired at all. And Diane is beaming. We have been dancing closely the whole night after I cut of Mark. Mark and Amy joined us later on. And now it is time for the last song of the evening. But I am glad it is mixed tempo song. Because I surely do not want a slow song now. It would be just sad. Everybody is on the dance floor now. Even the people working. That means June and Jake, Alice and Jeffrey are all here.
Afterwards we pile up in a car, I think this is Jake's car. We all are heading to the after party. Or the bonfire held by a guy nearby. I don't think we will be going back to our hotel rooms afterwards but just go home. I am not sure. But we are now off to the after party. I am sure this would be a sentimental fest. Along with alcohol. Fun, right?
It sure is. People are hugging each other. Some are already drunk. There are way more people here than at the prom. Makes sense this is not just for seniors. Even though it technically is.
Someone suddenly shouts, "to the seniors." We all clink our glass and drink up. I am drinking beer now. But this will be my last for the night. The punch was good, so I drank a bit. I am not drunk but I do not want to be either. We all sit by the fire, and they rehash their stories from their high school years. Everyone has a story. Mostly from their freshman year some even from this year. All the seniors are sharing, and rest are listening. Amy tells about her first day and how she collided with Diane who was looking around with big blue eyes. Diane talks about her first day as a cheerleader. Then she talks about me. Well specifically how meeting me helped her connect to so many people whom she now refers to as her friends. I am glad.
Soon, we are drunk. Even me. Because obviously I did not stop with that cup. Diane is too. Technically we are more tipsy than drunk. But I know it is time to call it a night now. It is pretty late now no idea what time it is though. So, heading home would be an issue. I try to find June or Jake or anybody who could drive us. But before I call them, I receive a text from Jake telling us to go to the car. We reach and see that our friends are all there. We again pile up and Diane instructs them to take us to the hotel. Jake complies and says he is staying there too. Apparently, no one is going home now as it is like 3 in the morning, and we are tipsy to be very stealthy.
I remember the hotel rooms, but I think I purposely forgot about it, or tried to at least. Something told me we should just go home, but we didn't though. Because something inside the pit of my stomach feels weird and my brain tells me this is not a good idea. I do not heed the warnings. I mean we could just rest; we could even just talk. Doubt that would happen though. But why think of otherwise. I mean Diane and I have spent numerous nights cuddling to one another. Why would tonight be any different? But something is telling me it will be.
It is different. As soon as we reach the hotel. We all go to our booked rooms. Diane books us a room. And Alice, Jake, June and Jeffrey are all sharing either a suite or a room. I am not sure. I feel too tipsy to understand their plan. It's a little unclear to me. As I was pulled by Diane. As soon as the door to our room closed Diane starts kissing me. Her kisses are not like the ones we had before. It is way more passionate, and it is lighting up a fire in me. This scares me. But in a good way or bad way we are yet to find out.