"Darling, I'm a nightmare... dressed like a daydream," Blank Space by Taylor Swift
I kept my eyes glued to the ground, so it was the white clothed feet I noticed first. I felt lucky to have actual shoes. Slowly, I glanced around. The independents were gathered around a couple of rectangular tables that were cemented into the ground with benches soldered to the side. A few were sitting on top of it, elbows resting on their bent knees.
My heart pounded. I dug my fingernails into my palms, cringing at the sharp pain of half-moon imprints. There were too many calculating eyes staring. I wanted to crawl in my bed, snuggle up to Ember, sing her a song before a nap, and let her even breathing lull me to sleep too. I wanted to feel safe again.
The sharp sting of my teeth biting into my lip helped me stay focused. Angel was my goal. I had to find him. I carefully searched the inmate's faces. If I could just see his face I wouldn't have to worry about making eye contact with anyone unsavory, but the gnawing thought that he might not be an independent made me pause.
Officer MJ put us in a line facing forward. He walked down that line twice before he stopped in front of me. With his black metal baton he tapped my wrist. "Put your arms down."
My reaction was instant, and the minute I did what he said, I saw a slow smile teasing the corner of his mouth, and he nodded. I frowned as I watched him twirl his baton as he walked away. I couldn't place my finger on it but something about him made me wary. He was good-looking with dark hair and blue eyes. His nose was a little crooked and there was a small cleft in his upper lip, but overall he was pleasing to look at. It wasn't his looks that made me nervous. Maybe it's his pseudo-kindness. Or the fact that I owe him a favor and I have no idea what type of person he is.
Fuck my life.
"Sarge, no show today?" a female voice asked.
"I've told you, I'm not a sergeant, Bee," Officer MJ said, turning towards the only petite blonde among the independents. He offered her a smile, and then pointed his baton up, "Got the good seats this time."
Bee's jaw clenched, but I don't think Officer MJ noticed. She bowed her head and licked her lips, taking a deep breath. "Does that mean the other guards will be participating?"
He shrugged. "Not me. I can't speak for them."
Bee's pixie like-face smiled broadly up at him, and he let her get close enough for her to caress a hand across his shoulders. I blinked at the rapid change in her. It was like she had an on-off switch. Bee poked MJ's arm with her breast. "You're the one I wouldn't mind joining. You never play with us."
"Bee." It was all he said before her hands lifted and she backed away a few feet.
"Sorry, Sarge."
He heaved a sigh and handed her the clipboard he'd carried down here. "What kind of appetite you got today?"
Bee's green eyes darted down the line and landed on me. She winked and licked her lips. "School girl, maybe. Or I could talk Jax into letting me ride his new cowboy." She shrugged. "Haven't decided just yet."
I glanced down the line and saw a guy with lemon drop blonde hair sticking out beneath the wrinkled cowboy hat. It seemed like his moon colored bubble butt showing through the cut jeans didn't bother him as he stood without shame. His sun bronzed hands rested on his hips, his chest popped out, and his stance widened at the sudden attention.
Officer MJ hummed. "That'll be a sight. The Big Hoss is in today. Make a good show."
I glanced back at Bee, just in time to see her gaze sharpen. "Which one?"
"Davidson."
Bee swore under her breath. Her fingers clenched on the clipboard, and she tugged at her tan jumpsuit. "Has he made any requests?"
"He wants you to make one of them bleed."
She exhaled and her shoulders sagged. "Well, that's not so bad this time."
"Yeah, but something's up. He wanted Evie to come in."
"Fuck. Boss Lady pissed?"
"Oh yeah," Officer MJ said, sighing as he glanced down at the ground. He lifted his head and narrowed his eyes. "Bee? Make it good."
She nodded. "We know what happens if we don't. Don't worry. How long do we have before we start?"
"They'll be here in five minutes," he said.
Bee gave him a grim look as he walked towards the far wall. I glanced up warily as I heard the sound of shoes hitting metal stairs. I looked up and up. Balconies with railings and bars were layered on top of each other. There were hundreds right above my head. The green chipped stairs looked endless but each section trailed off to an individual balcony, and on the first level there was a set of ten chairs lined in front of the railing.
Bee moved to the middle of the room and spread her arms wide. "Welcome," she said, pacing back and forth. Her hands, along with the clipboard, rested behind her back. "Two ground rules are don't say 'no' and speak when spoken to. I'm Bee and this is Rafe, Sal, Jax, Queenie, and Thumb. If one of us doesn't choose you today we aren't the only independents, we're just the ones that get first choice."
The loud clap above my head made me jerk towards the sound. It was a mistake to look up. Not because of the ten seats now filled with men and women on the balcony, but because on the way down my eyes focused on the six independents .
"Well, the introductions are getting cut short today," Bee said, rubbing her hands together with childlike enthusiasm. She made a wide gesture at the other five. "Let's go."
The other independent girl stopped in front of me. Her hair was short, cropped close to her tattooed neck. She was in the same tan jumpsuit as the others. "Say my name," she demanded.
Fuck. I hadn't been paying attention. I was going to get myself killed if I didn't get with it. "Queenie?"
"Yeah, I thought you'd dosed off during introductions," she said as she took a step closer to me. She was so close the tip of her nose brushed mine. Her fingers gripped my jaw and turned my face to the side. She bent her head down and whispered in my ear, "If anyone else had gotten here first you'd have gotten that pretty face of yours bruised. This is your lucky day girlie. This is gonna be some life saving information here, so pay attention." She paused and looked pointedly at me.
Everyone was being so helpful today, tomorrow when it was over, I couldn't help worrying about what I'd have to do for all these helpful tips I'd never asked for.
I couldn't nod too much with her iron grip clamped on my jaw, but I tried. "Okay," I said.
She smiled. "Everything here is about gratification and what you can do to please someone else. Most of its tame, but some of the others have more dangerous desires. Rafe has bandages all over his arms and his tastes vary. If he wants you sexually he'll be gentle with you. He's your best bet if you want to survive this place but don't get your hopes up. He rarely chooses anyone. Jax likes guys for the most part but he'll occasionally go for boyish looking girls."
I scoffed. "I'm not boyish looking."
She glanced down at my chest. My face flushed as she lifted her gaze again. "If he decides he wants you, don't argue and don't fight. I can't stress the last enough. No matter how badass you think you are, you will not win against him. The best thing you can do is get on your knees and submit to him. He won't make you do anything in front of these pigs if you do that. Jax is a dominant. Do you know what that means?"
I nodded. "Which one is Jax?"
"He's the one with the Mohawk and tattoos circling his arms and neck. I'm Sal. Tidbit about me?" Her grip on my chin tightened and I felt like my jaw was about to break. She stepped forward, forcing me back. "Don't you ever say no to me."
I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to not act. Sal's eyebrow rose when I remained still and she gave me an approving look as she continued, "Queenie gives the best shows to those scum bags up there. He does it all. He's their favorite because of it and he gets a lot of perks. He has a star tattoo on the corner of his right eye. Fight if he wants you. You fight with everything you have if he wants you."
"You just said not to fight--"
"Fighting and losing to Queenie is better than having him own you."
"Wouldn't he own me if I lost?"
She shook her head. "No, if you lose, he kills you or--"
Sal tensed and stopped talking when Bee came over."You want her, Sal?"
Sal shrugged. "Not sure."
Bee tapped the clipboard. "You want her number before you get attached?"
She shook her head. "I'm good."
"Okay. Don't take too long. If you're not interested move aside so everyone else can look."
When Bee walked away, Sal continued. "You do not want Queenie. Fighting him will get Bee's attention. Bee hates him so even if you lose, she'll want you. What Bee wants she gets. She's the main powerhouse here, but she plays games. You'll think she's your best friend one minute and then she'll make you do a favor. I guarantee it's a favor you will not like."
"If Bee wants me?"
Sal sighed. "She thinks she has something to prove and she'll do things to you to show it. It's why she remains at the top. Thumb's the bald Mexican. He runs with Queenie, but draws the line when it comes to certain things. He's possessive, and if he's chooses you don't look at anybody for at least a month or you'll be black and blue. Any questions?"
"Do you know someone named Angel in here?" I asked.
She pulled her head back from my ear and her brown eyes glared at me. "Did you listen to anything I just told you?"
"I did." I did not. Not really. All the facts she gave me were jumbled together. I knew enough to get by, at least until I got my info from the luggage I was supposedly allowed to have. "Thank you, very much. It helps."
My answer seemed to placate her enough to respond. "Angel, huh? The closest thing I know to an angel here is Rafe."
My eyebrows slammed together as I tried to concentrate on what Sal was saying and not the loud shouts of pain suddenly happening to my left. "Rafe? Why him?"
"His name is Rafael. Like the arch angel? He has a saving complex too. He's got the bandaged arms, remember? He takes punishment for his people. No other independent is willing to do that. It's why he gets mad respect from everyone. If he was a little more vocal, Bee wouldn't be Queen Bee."
Lights of realization exploded behind my eyelids. Oh my God! That was how they chose they're codenames. Starling. Angel. A starling was a bird of some sort. Starling was Bird. Rafael was an arch angel. Rafe was Angel. I let out a gasp and pulled away from Sal, searching for the man with bandaged arms.
"I want Rafe," I whispered harshly to Sal.
Sal held her hands up. "I did my good deed for the day. You remind me of my daughter. It's the only reason I helped you. I can't work miracles. Rafe hasn't chosen anyone new in months and he's picky."
I rubbed my forehead as she walked away. I'd have to get his attention somehow. I just hope my assumption on how they chose their codenames was right. It made sense. Rafe had to be Angel.