"So why exactly did she decide to go with you?" asked Aunt Gab, as she and Ayedah got themselves busy in the kitchen, preparing dinner. Reema had gone to her room, and Aarif was in the living room with Burak and Stormy the cat. Ayedah had given them curt greetings before busying herself with the dinner they were preparing- she wanted to make sure that Burak would at least enjoy what he ate, if her cousin and brother made him feel uncomfortable. And perhaps, she did want to escape having to converse with either Aarif or Reema. She knew that even if she tried to talk normally with Burak, one of the two would try to join in, judging by how they were earlier in the afternoon- how Reema was, anyway.
"She just wanted to talk," mumbled Ayedah in answer. "We haven't exactly conversed since she came...I guess that she wanted to see how I was doing." "The same Reema who drove you up the walls and triggered many meltdowns?" she questioned smartly. Ayedah sighed.
In all truth, she did not know how to really feel about Reema. She had not forgotten the countless times she had to bear seemingly never-ending emotional abuse, many times for deeds she did not commit. However, Reema did seem somewhat different to her- though she was insulted by the way her cousin seemed to think so low of her, she felt like the younger girl was making an effort to at least start a respected relationship with her. I can't blame her anyways, she told herself. I did disown and leave the family, including her. It's no easy feat, to accept me back as someone of her flesh and blood. She did her a favor after all- if telling her what her family's original plans for her was a favor, that is. Even if it made her feel a lot more worthless to them than she already did, at least then she felt a little better about having left them; it did not feel that she had acted so selfishly anymore.
Overall, she could tell that Reema was uncomfortable with her- but perhaps she was doing it all for Aarif. From what she saw, she was sincere, and did care for Aarif just as her brother cared for her. She felt bad that she was not enjoying either of their presence the way she had with Aarif when he had come alone the first time, even though Reema and her had made amends. But either way, Ayedah made a mental note to pay more attention to them for the duration of their stay- one reason was to lessen her aunt's burden, and the second was to try and at least get along with Reema, for her brother's sake. She knew she no longer had a say on who her brother chose to marry or big decisions as such, but she did want to support him. And as his sister, she would.
"She wanted to make amends," explained Ayedah finally to her aunt. "She wanted us to be friends, if not family...for Aarif's sake." Her aunt nodded, still slightly skeptical. "Is that why she came along?" she asked. "That I don't know for sure, but she definitely wanted to get this done," said Ayedah. "She had been trying to take me aside and do so for a while, apparently, but never got the chance to."
"That would be my fault, I suppose," said her aunt with a guilty laugh. "I tried to keep her and Aarif away from you for a few days, I knew that Kurulus Osman was entering the middle of the season- even though you did sacrifice one day for them, I could tell you were about to be caught up at work. I didn't want you to be stressed." She smiled grimly; "I guess that went kind of wrong, if Reema was hell-bent on talking to you- and not about anything bad," she said, and Ayedah quickly grasped her arm.
"Hey, I'm sorry," she said. "It's not like you're a free woman, either. I should've offered to help out with them too...this is your house, after all, and they came without notice." Gabriella smiled at her, and patted her hand. "You're very selfless, Ayedah," she said, making Ayedah smile softly. "But this is our house. You even help with many of our finances, even though you don't need to. And don't worry, handling your brother and cousin was fine. Aarif is my nephew too, after all." She smirked suddenly; "Though who knows how much longer you will stay in this house?" she said, shrugging before she turned to cut up some tomatoes.
Ayedah frowned at her; "What do you mean?" she asked, confused. "Do I need to get my own place-" "No, of course not!" laughed her aunt. "You're a little slow, aren't you?" Ayedah pouted, slightly offended but humored all the same. "Just tell me what you mean, skip the uncanniness," she groaned. "Well, then- I mean Burak," said Gabriella, wiggling her eyebrows, leaving Ayedah looking stunned. "Burak?" "Come on, Ayedah, it's pretty obvious already," she said, rolling her eyes affectionately. "I'm sure he's going to ask you to marry him soon." Ayedah went red and cleared her throat, embarrassed. "Is that why you called him your 'future nephew-in-law'?" she asked wearily, and her aunt winked. "I think that just slipped out," she said unconvincingly. "But he did not look fazed by it, though- which means he probably agrees that he's going to be...that he wants to be."
A bashful expression decorated Ayedah's face and turned away. "I don't know if that's going to happen anytime soon," she began, but stopped before she could continue. The thought of a marriage proposal had been thrust in her mind like a rifle's bullet- the way the idea of how a proposal would go looked very similar to how Burak was acting earlier, before dusk. The way he had looked very solemnly yet nervously into her eyes and held her hand, about to ask her a question right before Reema interrupted them.
"Ayedah Harraz, will you-"
Marry me? She metaphorically finished the sentence with her guess. Could that possibly be what he was going to ask?
"What who was going to ask?" asked Aunt Gab, confused. Ayedah could have kicked herself- she had apparently wondered aloud for her aunt to hear. "N-nothing," she said dismissively, before she changed her mind and turned to her aunt. "Actually there is something." "Spill," her aunt ordered, and Ayedah did spill. "Aunt Gab I think you're right," she blurted out, immediately lowering her voice to a bare whisper. "I think he was going to propose to me."
Before her aunt could gasp in surprise or raise her voice, Ayedah immediately turned away; "Or not, maybe not," she said doubtfully. "Or would he? Maybe? No..." She turned back to Gabriella, her pitiful expression contrasting with her aunt's half-amused, half-exasperated one. "What do you think?" she asked. Aunt Gab sighed, before she got closer to Ayedah and leant against the counter. "Well, I don't know Burak well but..." she smiled softly.
"I see the way he looks at you," she finally continued, after a moment's pause. "The way he talks to you, and the way he treats you- both from what I see, and what you tell me." Her soft smile turned wide, and excited- it was clear that she was doing her best to keep her voice down. "I honestly think he does love you, Ayedah," she said. "I almost know it- I can't say I do because only Allah knows what is in his heart, but I do believe it strongly." Ayedah stared at her blankly, swallowing. Aunt Gab was the second person to think that Burak was in love with her- Ozge being the first. Could they possibly be right? Was he in love with her? Did he want to marry her? Did he want to make her his partner for life, and take their relationship from friends to further? She did not know for sure, though she had to admit to herself that there was plenty of evidence supporting the theory.
However there was one thing that did bother her, whenever she thought of her and Burak's relationship being something other than colleagues and friends-
Was she in love with him? Did she love him?
She knew she was not someone who could love- or she thought she knew. The closer she got to Burak, the less she kept up the belief of her incapability to love.
The closer she got to Burak, the less she loathed herself.
It was as if the more she accepted him, she accepted herself too.
But still- the doubt was there. She was already oblivious to whether he was in love with her, how was she supposed to guess? How should she be allowed to guess, or hope for it, knowing the kind of person she already was? She sighed, before turning away without an answer and took a carrot in her hand to grate it across the spaghetti sauce that they were making in the saute pan. Her aunt's face fell, and she put a hand on her niece's shoulder. "Ayedah, what would you have said if he had asked you?" she wanted to know. "If he had proposed?" Ayedah went silent for a while, pondering on the question asked before she answered;
"No."
Her aunt's eyes widened. "N-no?" she questioned. "No," said Ayedah, and she was alarmed to find that she had tears in her eyes. She hastily wiped them away before she pushed past Gabriella to get to the fridge to take out a bit of parsley.
"But why?" Aunt Gab immediately lightened her heavy tone, and cleared her throat, before continuing. "I respect your decision, Ayedah, but I do want to know why." Ayedah sighed. "Because I'm not good for him, Aunt Gab," she said sadly. "And I won't be good for his family either. From what I can see, they're honorable people. I disowned my family and left them. I didn't even say goodbye to them when they passed away. I'm not an honorable person, opposite of him. And what's more, I'm...Bipolar." She wiped her eyes with her clean hand before she started skinning the carrots to be grated. "Burak does not need to have that extra complication in his life. He doesn't deserve a wife who's tainted, diseased and dishonorable. He deserves someone good." Her aunt inhaled sharply, before swallowing.
"Besides, I don't even know if I love him like that, let alone know if he even feels that way about me," Ayedah whispered. "So if you want me to be fully honest with you...I really do not know what I would've said to him. But I do believe that my answer would have been no." Her aunt sighed, as if she had half-expected for her niece to speak and feel this way- though she had evidently hoped not.
"It's your decision," she said gently. "But if he does ask you, and you're still not sure...don't say no immediately." She smiled at her. "We'll see after tonight, but I think he's a good guy," said Aunt Gab. "And Ayedah...I've never seen you so happy. So light. So carefree. I've never seen you like this until he came into your life. It's like..." She paused for a while, and placed a hand on Ayedah's face as she stroked her cheek lovingly. "It's like you've finally brought out the Ayedah you've hidden away," she said. "And let her live without putting her back in a cage." Ayedah's seemingly stone-cold heart warmed up at her aunt's words, and she smiled. "InshaAllah, Aunt Gab," she said, before she returned to her cooking.
InshaAllah...
They were comfortably silent for a while, before her aunt spoke up again with another question. "So, what exactly did Reema say to make amends with you?" she asked curiously. "If you want to tell me, of course." "Hmm..." Ayedah thought about it for a while before she did tell her. "Well, it went a bit oddly at first, to be frank- she had assumed that I used Burak to 'weasel my way' into getting a decent job." Gabriella raised her eyebrows, looking scandalized. "That's insulting," she said flatly, making Ayedah smile grimly. "I suppose it was at first, but I think she was just curious," she said. "I don't exactly blame her, I mean I didn't do the best in school either." "Maybe not in TSOSA but you did better elsewhere," said her aunt. "You had to double the effort, even if you did badly in school you still passed your international exams, and after that you did manage to get to a good college then university too." "You forget you paid for me," said Ayedah, smirking slightly. "Part of it," corrected her aunt. "Your academic performance still made an impact, you couldn't just pay your way into an Oxford college." Ayedah laughed.
"So, what else did she say?"
"She told me that if I had passed the school exams and gotten a scholarship to a university in Syria or Yemen, they would have married me off," Ayedah revealed, the humor removed completely from her voice and expression. Her aunt nearly dropped her knife as she turned sharply toward her niece. "They would have not," she hissed, and Ayedah shrugged. "Well it didn't happen, so I wouldn't know if it's true or not," she said melancholically, and began to grate some carrots.
"Ayedah be careful with the carrots," said Aunt Gab, concerned as Ayedah ran them up and down a grater upon the cutting board rather ferociously. "You might accidentally cut yourself." "I'm very careful, thank you very much," said Ayedah with a scoff- right before she did get herself cut. She hissed as a droplet of blood exited the small wound at the base of her thumb. "Ah, I told you!" scolded her aunt. "I'll go get a bandage." She disappeared out of the kitchen, Ayedah scrunching up her nose as she applied pressure to the small injury.
"Hey."
"Oh hey, Burak," Ayedah said, when she looked up to see Burak smiling at her from the entrance to the kitchen. "Your aunt let me in," he said. "She said Stormy's food bowl is in here...he seems hungry." "Yeah, it's just there," Ayedah pointed to an empty food bowl on the counter next to a large bottle of cat pellets. Burak nodded, but then his expression suddenly changed when his eyes fell and focused on her cut hand. "You're bleeding," he noticed, concerned as he walked up to her. "It's fine, just got cut on the grater," she said dismissively. Burak looked around a bit before grabbing a kitchen towel, wetting it slightly and wrapping it around her hand. "Put pressure on it, it'll stop the bleeding," he said. "And you should've been more careful." Ayedah rolled her eyes playfully. "Anyone would get hurt in the kitchen, Burak," she said matter-of-factly. "Even Gordon Ramsay does, probably."
Burak gave her a small smile, before Ayedah drew her hand away. "Thanks," she said quietly, before she threw the grated carrots into the pot with the rest of the ingredients, and stirred the mixture. "Sorry it's just simple pasta tonight," she said apologetically. "Even though it's a new dish for me to cook, we would've cooked something nicer if it was an arranged dinner." "It doesn't look simple at all," said Burak with a smile. "It smells great- I didn't know you could cook so well." "It's my aunt's recipe, I just follow what it says," said Ayedah sheepishly. "Still, you follow it well," quipped Burak, winking at her. Ayedah scoffed; "You haven't even tried it yet," she teased, making him smirk. "Well then, if you don't mind..." He jutted his head toward the pot, indicating for her to let him try a little.
She gave him a look, before she grabbed a spoon and dipped it into the sauce in the pot. "It's not fully ready yet, so don't tease me if it doesn't taste good," she said in a playfully stern voice, making Burak smirk wider. "Alright, Ana," he said, making her roll her eyes before she carefully spooned the bit of sauce into his mouth. "Is it alright?" she asked apprehensively, watching his expression change into an impressed one. "It's good," he said, his eyes wide. "You really can cook." Ayedah smiled bashfully, but before she could thank him he tried to take the spoon from her to ladle out a bit more of the sauce- but she was too quick for him.
"Eh-hem, you should wait for dinner," she scolded him playfully, as he groaned in an equally skittish manner. "At this rate you'll eat up the entire pot." "You can't blame me, it's good," he said, shrugging. "I can't believe it's only half-cooked."
Ayedah smiled at him, before she turned back to continue working on the sauce to fully prepare it.
"I should have you come over to my place for dinner now, since I'm here with you," said Burak. "With me and my family." "Your family?" Ayedah asked, slightly apprehensive. "Yeah, of course," said Burak, though he did look slightly disheartened at the unexcited look on Ayedah's face. "At my house. For dinner. I mean I haven't exactly eaten here yet but..." He winced nervously, and took to rubbing the back of his head fidgetingly again. "U-unless you don't want to, of course, but I'm sure they'd love to meet you-"
"That's kind of you," interrupted Ayedah, finally putting a smile on her face. "I'd love to meet them." "Wait really?" Burak stared at her, surprised. "You...you actually want to?" "Yeah, why wouldn't I?" she asked, chuckling bashfully. "Well erh..." Burak blushed, making Ayedah giggle. "Don't worry, Burak," she said kindly. "As antisocial as I seem sometimes, I would be happy to meet your family. If they're the people who produced and raised a great person like you, I'm sure they must be just as amazing."
"I'm sure they would be excited to meet you too," said Burak, looking enthusiastic. "When are you free? What time would you like it to be? Or would you prefer lunch- maybe lunch, so you wouldn't have to go back so late..." His rambling stopped when he saw the amused look on the girl's face, and he shut his mouth shyly. "Whenever is good, Burak," Ayedah said as her answer. "As long as they're okay with it. Make sure you talk to them about this first. But on my hand, I think I can come over after Reema and Aarif leave...that's in two weeks." "Sounds good," said Burak with a grin. "I look forward to it." "You're talking like we're not going to see each other for a while," snorted Ayedah. "But I believe we will be seeing each other for work tomorrow, so don't worry about it." Burak nodded, and turned around to fill in the cat's food bowl, before his eyes lit up suddenly.
"Can I send you home?" he turned around to face her again and blurted out the question, making Ayedah's eyes widen. "Yes, I'm asking beforehand so I can...er, beat whoever usually sends you back." Ayedah smirked at his enthusiasm, turned away with a dramatic sigh and said, "Well, I have to discuss with Ozge, I suppose..." Burak rolled his eyes. "I'll be happy to take her home too," he said, exasperated. "Come on...please?" "It's not like you've taken me home before, Burak," said Ayedah, confused but rather humored by his unusual desire to want to send her home after work. "Yeah, but this is after work," he argued. "Well, I don't know, as I said, I'd have to discuss with her," said Ayedah annoyingly. "She may be uncomfortable, who knows?" Burak gave her a dirty look, before he took out his phone.
"Fine, I'll ask her myself," he said, and was about to unlock his screen to text Ozge when Ayedah rushed over after turning off the stove, trying to pry his phone away from him. "No no no, I was kidding," she said, alarmed- she knew that she would never hear the end of it if Burak had asked Ozge herself to send her and Ayedah back the next day after work, plus she knowing Burak, he was sure to add in his own dramatic touch to his request. "It's okay, I'll go with you, okay? Happy?" Burak smirked at her. "Happy," he said. "Thank you very much, Canim." Ayedah scowled at him, scrunching up her nose, making him laugh before he gently tapped it, surprising her. "Stop scowling at me," he said in a sorrowful voice, pouting.
Before Ayedah could say anything, Gabriella had returned with a box of plasters for her wound. "Finally! I need to find a better place to keep the first-aid kit," she said, sounding exasperated, but she stopped when she saw Burak and Ayedah standing very close together with his finger still on her nose, before they immediately broke apart, both flushing madly. "T-thanks, Aunt Gab," she said, taking the box of plasters before putting it on the counter so she could take the damp kitchen towel off of her hand. "Sorry for intruding, I'll, er...go," said Burak, looking embarrassed as he darted out to escape the kitchen, nearly forgetting to bring with him Stormy's food bowl. Ayedah looked away pointedly from her aunt, who, with an incredulous look on her face, brought herself up close to her niece and asked in a whisper-yell,
"Did he call you 'Canim'?"
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A/N: Sorry this is a little late, you guys hehe
So...Ayedah seems to have a similar guess to you guys' from the last chapter 👀 many of you all thought he was going to propose for her to marry him, or to be his girlfriend. I personally thought he was going to as her if yogurt goes stale after its been out of the fridge too long, but I think you guys' guesses were better 😅
So, how'd you enjoy this chapter? I hope you did. Don't forget to vote+comment <3
Lygs,
Ayesha <3