CW: mention of an abusive household
The day after the full moon, Cassie had taught all her classes again but she was very glad that it was Saturday after that and she had the day off. She slept in, well, sleeping in for her meant waking up at half-past eight, before getting dressed and wandering off to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Neville was already there and she sat down next to him in her usual spot. Her knee was still hurting, somehow it hadn't popped back into its usual spot and she now had a slight limp that she tried to hide. She was considering telling Madam Pomfrey but at the same time did not want to worry the poor Matron any more. Prank season had begun.
"Good morning," she smiled at him, putting some toast, sausages and hashbrowns on her plate. The smell of it alone made her stomach grumble.
"Morning, Cassie," he smiled back at her. He was almost done with his breakfast. "Sleep in today?" He drank his tea. Strawberry tea. She could smell it.
"Yeah. Fully recharged now," she excused herself, taking a sip of her own tea, regular earl grey. "Any big plans for today? Finally Saturday again."
"I was actually going to ask you for some help if you've got time. Besides that, my usual round of taking care of the plants and I might just relax for a moment with a book," he told her, finishing his food. She found herself hoping he wouldn't leave just yet.
"Yes, I have time today. Do you want to do it after breakfast?" she asked him. She took a bite of her food and looked around the Great Hall. More students had decided to sleep in as well it appeared, showing up much later than usual, rubbing their eyes.
"Yes, that sounds great," Neville replied. He had been really kind to her yesterday, making sure several times that she had recovered from her 'illness' again. She still hadn't told him. She would soon, she just wasn't sure when the right moment to drop the lycanthropy bomb was. He wiped his hands and stood up. Why did this disappoint her?
"I have to discuss something with Pro- no, doing it again. Pomona. With Pomona. It won't be long, so I'll be with you soon enough." He shook his head, his cheeks flushing pink again because he was going to say Professor Sprout again instead of Pomona. She chuckled and nodded, quickly swallowing a bite.
"'Course. You can just come by my office afterwards," she told him before turning to her plate again. She usually loved eating breakfast in silence or to join in on other professors conversations but she was starting to get so used to Neville sitting next to her, chatting with her, that it was too quiet now that he had already left.
She finished her breakfast quicker than ever and walked back to her office. She cleared up her desk a little and dusted off her bookcase. She ought to ask Flitwick if he knew a Charm to stop dust from falling onto her books.
There was only one picture frame on her desk. While she was a student, she had five picture frames on her nightstand. One with a picture of her and her parents, one of her and her older sister (Amanda), one of them altogether, one of her and Hermione, Padma and Mandy, and one of her and Anthony.
Now it were only Padma, Mandy and Hermione's smiling faces that greeted her. Mandy had jumped onto Cassie's back, arms around her shoulders, their faces together. Cassie stumbled forward and their smiles changed into screams. Hermione stood next to them, laughing, her head fell back every time the image replayed. Padma was standing on the other side of them, trying to keep them from falling, laughing loudly when they almost did.
Those three girls were her rocks. They meant the world to her. She didn't know what she would do without them. If they had abandoned her as her family and Anthony had, she wouldn't have anyone left and she couldn't have gotten through all those full moons.
There was a soft knock on her door. "Come in!" she shouted, putting the picture frame down again. Neville opened the door and poked his head around. "Hi, Neville." She smiled. "Tea? Coffee? Fizzy Orange Juice?
"Tea is fine, thanks." He sat down on the sofa and rubbed his hands together. It was a cold day but Cassie was rarely cold anymore. It was one of the perks of being a werewolf, though sometimes she was too hot.
"Are you cold? Is it cold here? I rarely notice," she said, summoning two teacups and a teapot.
"It's a little chilly, but it's alright," he said politely. She levitated the cups and placed them on the small coffee table.
"I can turn on the fireplace, no problem." She flicked her wand and flames appeared. He smiled a little and nodded, sitting back and relaxing. He had been in her office a few times now and she had been in his. It was the same size but Neville had many more plants whereas Cassie had more books and candles. She sat down in the chair and crossed her legs under her but quickly straightened them again, her knee hurting.
"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. He must have seen her flinch at the sharp pain. She nodded and shrugged it off.
"Yeah, is nothing," she mumbled. "What did you want to talk about?" She grabbed her cup of tea and wrapped her hands around it.
"I just wanted to ask you a few questions about this whole teaching thing," he sighed. "It's been nice and fun and the students seem to enjoy it but at the same time, they seem so bored as if they're not even paying attention, not really anyway. How do I connect with them?"
She sat up a little straighter and thought for a moment. "Okay well, regarding them not paying attention, there's always going to be a few students who won't pay attention, that's just how it is sadly. But what did you always find the most fun to do? What were your favourite type of classes? Maybe integrate more from that into your classes?"
"You see, I hated Slughorn's way of teaching potions. Snape wasn't a great Professor either. So, I do it differently and I adapt to my students' feedback. I'm not as grumpy and prejudiced as Snape, not as unorganized as Slughorn, nor do I perform favouritism as he did. I liked a mixture between practical stuff and readings and assignments, so that's what I do,"
"After the first semester last year, I had my students fill in a feedback form to see how I could improve. I try to adapt to their needs, I'm teaching them after all. Of course, I have to stick to the curriculum and I can't just not give them essays and exams but still, if something bothers them, I give them a chance to tell me. Everyone learns differently."
"So you ask them what they like and don't like?" he asked her, thinking for a moment. She nodded.
"Basically. It's anonymous too so they're more comfortable. I just think that it's important to acknowledge their needs. I know several students hated potions, solely because Snape taught them. I want them to love it as much as I do, so I have to make sure we're on the right path."
"Right! Right, but how does that make me connect to them?" he asked, taking a sip of his tea.
"Well, it gives them the idea that you're listening to them and that you care about them, which you do. Obviously. And it can make them think that you're offering them a safe space, which you are. Obviously," she explained. "I had a few students approach me last year after the second feedback session, thanking me for giving them a chance to express their needs safely. They will feel heard, making them feel connected, making you feel connected."
"Really? No wonder everyone seems to love you so much," he smiled. She chuckled and shrugged her shoulders.
"I just do what I can to assure everyone has a good time here. I think we've had enough bad stuff for forever. Besides, we're their caretakers while they are here basically, it's better that they feel safe I'd say. Everyone deserves a good time here. I do what I can to assure that." He nodded.
"I will ask them for their feedback, yeah! And ensure that they know that they can always come to me if they need someone to talk to," he said, nodding. She smiled and took a sip of her tea.
"Well, if they've been paying attention to who you are as a person then I'd say they know," she told him. He blushed. "I mean, you're incredibly sweet and caring. You radiate it. I bet they already know." He blushed an even deeper shade of red.
"You think so?"
"Oh! Neville! I know so! You've asked me so many times if I was doing alright yesterday after I had fallen ill, more than anyone has ever had!" she exclaimed with a slight chuckle. "It was sweet. Besides, the seventh year? Who cared more than Neville Longbottom? No one. You were the one standing up for everyone."
"You were standing up with me, along with many others!"
"Yes, but not like you. You instigated it all!" He blushed again and looked away from her.
"Why were you ill? What was wrong? You never told me?" He turned back to her. It was silent and there was a hint of tension, or perhaps she just imagined it. It was a good moment to tell him. To let him know that he was befriending a werewolf.
"Neville, I erm-" there was a loud bang in the corridor. They both jumped up. Cassie rushed out the door, her heart pounding. What was happening? She stopped and Neville bumped into her, grabbing her waist to stop her from falling over. It smelled terrible in the hallway. She looked at him and then removed his hands from her waist, looking at the one who created the chaos: Preston Flume.
"Mr Flume," she said sternly, raising an eyebrow. He was the one student she had trouble with, who everyone had trouble with. She flicked her wand, cleaning up the mess that the explosion had caused quickly. "Exploding Potions, eh? Are you going for a record of most detentions this year or something?"
"I- Professor, I was honestly-" he sounded apologetic at first but then he straightened up, popping out his chest as if that would intimidate her. His heart was beating fast. She knew it was just an exterior, his tough-guy act, but she wasn't sure how to poke through that bubble yet. "Yes," he smirked this time. She crossed her arms. He was still covered in green drab that came with the potion but she did not feel like cleaning him up, he could figure that out himself.
"Four weeks in, Mr Flume, and you have already gained three detentions from three different professors. I'm sorry to be the fourth one to do so but I'm afraid I cannot let this slide," she told him. He scrunched up his nose and balled his hands into fists. "Potions classroom. Tomorrow. Four in the afternoon. Not a minute later." Neville looked at her. She could smell on him that he was impressed with her.
"Professor Green! You can't!" Preston exclaimed. "Professor Longbottom, do something!"
"Five points from Gryffindor," Neville said without a single stutter. Preston's jaw dropped before he turned away from them angrily. Cassie was the one who was impressed this time. She sighed and walked back into her office.
"I ought to make a note out of it. What was he doing in this hallway anyway?" she mumbled.
"Do you think I was too harsh? Taking away points from him?" Neville asked, closing the door behind him. She grabbed a piece of parchment from her desk and shook her head.
"No, that was perfectly reasonable. He ought to learn sometime but nothing ever works. He was in his first year when I was working on finishing my N.E.W.T.'s. He always has been like this, I don't know why. Grumpy, mischievous, a bit of a rebel. We have tight measures to ensure he works in class but Merlin, he makes it difficult for us." She wrote down the 'prank' and folded the piece of parchment.
"He doesn't like Herbology either. Tells me how useless he thinks it is in almost every class. Heard many professors say the same thing, about their own subject of course," he said. Cassie nodded but smiled.
"That's the thing, Neville. They all think he hates school, that he hates learning and magic and just about everything. But he doesn't, not really." Neville frowned. She knew he was confused. "I don't teach the Exploding Potion until the Fifth Year and he executed it better than half my Sixth-Years. He's smart. But there's something wrong and I'll find it out."
"Merlin, you really notice these kids, huh?" Cassie just smiled again.
She was, surprisingly, excited to have Preston over for detention. Not because he had detention and had once again pulled a prank, but because she wanted to figure out what was going on with him that made him so mischievous and mean.
He showed up at exactly four. "Hello, Mr Flume," she greeted him. He grunted in response and threw his bag on a table in the back, slumping in his seat. "There are five cauldrons you need to scrub. Then I have another assignment for you."
He started scrubbing the cauldrons in silence. Cassie looked through some assignments from Second-Years while he did it. She didn't feel pity for him, he had brought this upon himself after all. But she could sense something was wrong. He felt ashamed, embarrassed, guilty even.
She let him scrub the cauldrons and when came to her desk to tell her he was done she asked him to sit down, drawing up a chair. He did as she said and leaned back nonchalantly. She could see through his exterior but what the cause of his shield was she didn't know. She wanted to, really badly.
"Mr Flume, might I ask you what you were doing in the corridor of my office? With an Exploding Potion nonetheless?" she asked him, putting down her quill and the assignments. He huffed and let his head fall back.
"I wasn't going to attack you or nothing," he sighed. "I know that's what you all think of me. Stupid git." She inhaled sharply and raised an eyebrow, folding her hands on her desk.
"I don't think you're a stupid git at all. You made the perfect Exploding Potion, something I discuss in the fifth year, not in the third." He looked at her, a sense of pride beaming off of him. "Preston," she cleared her throat. "What were you doing?"
She could hear the pace of his heartbeat increase. He was nervous, but why? What was he doing that was so nerve-wracking and why was he doing it?
"What- What were you doing with Professor Longbottom, huh? Grabbing your waist like that," he asked, a smirk growing on his lips. He pushed his fragile state away in a split second.
"Mr Flume, Professor Longbottom and I are friends, we were having a cup of tea to discuss some school-related matters. He grabbed my waist to keep me from stumbling forward," she told him honestly.
"Thought you called me Preston now," he scoffed, looking away again. He said the name as if it was something dirty, something horrid.
"Do you not like the name Preston?" she asked him carefully. He shook his head, his jaw tightened and eyebrows furrowed together. "What would you prefer me to call you then?" His face softened.
"I- I don't know. No one has ever asked me that." He avoided eye contact with her. She respected it. "I just hate it because- Nevermind." She opened a drawer of the desk and pulled out a chocolate frog. She handed it over to him and drew up two cups of tea.
"I hate it when people call me Cassandra. It makes me feel like I'm in trouble. My father only ever called me that when I was. The association has stuck with me. Cassie is better. Everyone accepts that. Addressing someone with a different name isn't hard. Whether it's just a nickname of the given name or something else, people can adjust. They just have to," she told him. He took the chocolate frog and bit the head off, looking at his lap.
"It's my father's name," he mumbled. "And a boy's name."
"Would you rather have a girl's name?" He stopped chewing and she could see tears fill his eyes. "You can tell me, love. I just want to help you feel comfortable. I don't want to address you with a name or pronouns you aren't comfortable with."
"Nina," he whispered. "My name is Nina and my pronouns are she and her," she said. Cassie nodded.
"Okay, Nina. Does anyone know?"
"Only Jamie," she said. Jamie was a fellow-Gryffindor. Cassie knew they were best friends.
"You can do it at your pace. But you must know, we have very strict anti-bullying and anti-discrimination rules nowadays. I've ensured that they got tightened along with my friend when we did our seventh year for a second time. Professor McGonagall has ensured the rules are taking seriously."
"I know, I just- I don't know if I'm ready. My friends here may be okay with it but-" she stopped talking again. A few tears rolled down her cheeks. Cassie handed her a handkerchief.
"But your father may not?" It was an easy guess. Nina nodded. "Is this why you've behaved so badly?"
"I didn't mean to explode the corridor!" she burst out. "I wanted to show you, I wanted to ask you if it was done properly." Cassie smiled.
"It was done perfectly." Nina smiled a little but then nodded.
"I just thought that if I upset him, them, my family, enough then maybe they would throw me out. Maybe they would stop focussing on me. Maybe they would let me off, let me be," Nina explained.
"Do you think that becoming homeless is better than staying at home?" Cassie asked her carefully.
"Yes. If my father finds out that I am a girl then he will hurt- he will-" she choked on a sob. Fuck. Cassie knew exactly what she meant. "I just want to be myself and I can't be. They don't let me. But I can't leave on my own. It's not allowed. Jamie says I can move in with his family but my mother won't let me go. I thought if I get too many warnings, too many detentions, they might put me on the street."
"Oh, Nina, dear," Cassie sighed. Nina took her tea. "Thank you for telling me. I'm proud of you for telling me. And I'm sorry, but I have to take measures now. To ensure your safety. I won't tell any students, I promise. But I have to talk with Professor McGonagall about your home situation. And also, when you're comfortable, about changing your name on our documents."
Nina burst out in tears again. Cassie was afraid for a moment she had gone too far, but she could not let Nina go back to an abusive, non-accepting household. She would do everything in her power to ensure Nina was safe, at Hogwarts and at home.
"Thank you, Professor Green," Nina sobbed. Cassie reached out and grabbed the girl's hand.
"You don't have to thank me for this," Cassie said, giving her hand a squeeze. "Would you want to come with me to talk to McGonagall?" Nina nodded. "And do you want to tell your fellow students about your real name and pronouns?" Nina nodded again. The fear was still present, but it got overpowered by a new feeling, a feeling of ease, freedom and peace.
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Transphobia will not be tolerated on my page. If you support JK Rowling's views you best stop reading because I absolutely do not. If you're trans and you need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you. You're valid and loved and you deserve to be yourself. I'm so proud of you.
love,
L