My faith in people has always been substantial whenever I decide that I am too vulnerable. Based on my feelings, and my weakness, I completely trust them to be there for me and support me in my times of weakness. Though, that silent promise has always been broken no matter what I do to ensure that it is mutual. Broken trust is something that I have dealt with for years.
This does not mean that I am used to it.
When I am given the benefit of the doubt, I become hesitant in trusting again. A false sense of support from the people I bestowed my faith upon had made me paranoid.
So when he showed that I can trust him and show him all of me — the parts that I have learned to despise — it made me realize that the issue was never me.
All the people that have betrayed me, were the ones at fault.
To have someone finally hold the same level of responsibility and faith I have placed in them — in me, it makes me extremely comfortable knowing that no matter what, it will not break.
His trust is the same.
I am allowed to show how powerless I am, and in turn, he supports me. That makes my heart beat faster than it has ever before. Happiness courses through my veins, making every part of me tingle in satisfaction, knowing that he would always be there.
That he too, has faith in me.
Chapter Ten: Conviction
"We're going to be late." Hinata grabbed her hat and a scroll filled with snacks and drinks. She maneuvered around the room, trying to find her sandals.
Sasuke held them up for her as he waited by the door, "by a few minutes. It will be alright."
She nodded in silent thanks as she slipped her shoes on and left with him following behind. They [she] hurried down the stairs of the inn and into the streets as she looked around.
"We don't know what beach we're supposed to be at." She mumbled. Activating her byakūgan, she scanned the village in an attempt to locate wherever Yua was.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and grabbed her wrist, pulling her in the direction of the most secluded beach in the area.
"What if they're not—"
"It's a couple's beach, I'm sure they're there." He let her go, allowing her to walk comfortably instead of stumbling because of his fast pace.
"You've been...? Nevermind. Let's hurry." Hinata jogged ahead, worried that she would upset Yua and Daiyū because they didn't wake up early.
To be fair, they spent the entire night talking, and they only fell asleep as the sun began to rise. Sleeping in was one thing she never did, neither did he, but today, they both ignored the time.
Weaving through the afternoon crowd, the dirt road slowly turned to sand until they could hear the sound of the waves. Hinata perked up and walked faster, excited to finally spend some time at a beach. The trees became scarce as small shrubs replaced them.
Standing on a sandy hill, she watched the waves slowly push whoever was in the water. This was nice, it was beautiful, it took her breath away.
Sasuke watched her, her sundress blowing in the wind as she clenched and unclenched her fists. "Go."
She looked back at him, putting the scroll down and taking off her sandals before she ran down the hill and into the water. Splashing around, her clothes getting soaked and her hat trying to hold on for dear life, Hinata grinned as she watched him set their things down under a tree.
"You're here!" Yua yelled and waved, walking towards Sasuke. "I thought you guys bailed on us."
"We slept in." Sasuke put down rocks on the blanket to keep it in place. Unsealing the scroll, a basket of food and drinks lay in its place.
"Oh, well, I'm glad that you made it. She's enjoying this a lot." Yua set down her bag on the blanket as well. "We brought the towels."
"It's her first time." Sasuke finally sat down and took his shirt off. It really was a great time to be at the beach, it was really hot these days, and judging by the humid temperatures, the water was bound to be on the warmer side.
"That's sweet." Daiyū took her shoes off, "I'll be in the water if you need me." She dropped her sarong at Yua's side and ran off.
"I'll get going too, don't stay cooped up on dry land for too long." She winked and discarded her shirt, running after her girlfriend.
After a few minutes of watching Hinata play around with the two women, he finally stood up and made his way to the edge of the water.
"Finally joining me?" Hinata motioned for him to come closer as she made her way to him.
Sasuke shrugged, "it looks fun." He walked further and further into the warm water.
They stood in front of each other, her hands on her hips as she sized him up.
"Why don't you put your hat down?" He took it off her head.
"Will you do it for me?"
"Hn." He summoned his small hawk, handing it the hat to put down with their things.
"A little over the top, don't you think." She wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing her wet front against him.
"It's fine." He picked her up, placing her over his shoulder with ease.
Hinata squealed, flailing her legs as she giggled. "Put me down, Uchiha."
"I don't think you want me to do that."
She could hear the amusement in his voice. "Please?"
Sasuke was silent, "sure."
She fell into the water suddenly. Standing up quickly, she wiped her face, trying to move her wet strands out of her mouth. "I'm going to get you back for that."
"Try me." Sasuke smirked.
"You're on."
They swam after each other, Hinata desperately trying to catch up to him and dunk his head into the water, but he kept getting away with ease. Once she stood in the chest high water, her dress floating around her, and her arms crossed with a pout on her face, he stopped trying to get away from her.
"What's wrong?" He floated in the water a few feet away from her.
"It's not fair."
He raised his eyebrow.
"I have more stuff weighing me down so I can't swim faster." She lied.
"Then take it off." He finally stood up, walking closer to her but not too close.
"Help me?"
"Do it yourself." He could see the gears in her mind working overtime, trying to formulate a plan to get back at him.
"Please? I won't try anything, I promise." She smiled softly.
Sasuke studied her face for a while before he gave up. Standing in front of her, her held the edges of her dress and instructed her to lift her arms. Pulling the soaked material over her head, before he received a 'thanks', he was splashed in the face with water.
Blinking the saltiness out of his eyes, he watched her laugh and swim away, leaving him standing there with her yellow sundress in his hands.
Shaking his head, he wrapped the dress securely around his forearm and swam after her quickly. Navigating the water with ease, Sasuke smirked before he pulled her leg, making her scream.
She stood there, trying to breathe properly, a grin on her face as she kept wiping the water that dripped from her hair. "You're awfully playful."
"You're mischievous today."
"When have I not been?" She threw her arms over his shoulders, forgetting that they were currently waist deep in water, and in the open. That didn't matter to her, she was happy.
"Good point." Sasuke lifted her up, her legs wrapped around his waist. "Hold on."
"Where are we going?" She held on, feeling as the water rose higher and higher until it was at his neck. "We're so far."
Yua and Daiyū looked rather small, and the shore was much further away than before. They were alone — being so deep in the water that no one could really see them.
"It's better." He held her, "don't let go, it's too high for you to stand."
"I think I'd be alright." She attempted to unwrap her legs, still holding onto him as she floated a little bit. When her feet hit the ocean floor, she could barely keep her head above water. "Nevermind, help me."
Sasuke shook his head, silently laughing as he picked her up again. "Are you hungry?"
Hinata looked at him lovingly, focusing on how the water made his skin almost sparkle in the sunlight. "Not really." She mumbled.
"Me neither."
"It's nice...being here; with you." She cupped his face, brushing the water droplets away.
"You look beautiful."
Hinata laughed, "yeah?"
He nodded.
"How beautiful?"
"Enough for me to eat you."
"Weird words coming from the Uchiha. You want to eat me?" She raised her eyebrow, "I don't think that's normal."
"There's other—"
Hinata blocked his mouth, a blush on her cheeks as she fanned her face. "Enough. Not here."
Sasuke's voice was muffled, making her lift her hand just to hear what he had to say. "What do you think I was about to tell you?"
"That there's another way you can eat me...which is..."
"Giving you a kiss." He smirked.
Hinata resisted the urge to hit him out of embarrassment, she thought he meant something else, and that made her stomach do flips in anticipation. Unbeknownst to her, her disappointment was rather visible.
"What did you want me to do, Hinata?"
His voice made her heart race, the way he held her waist and how her legs pulled him close made a thousand thoughts run through her mind. Her stomach was churning with want — need.
"Can we...later?" She said under her breath, partially scared that he would decline her offer. "Not that but..."
"I understand, and yes. That's okay." He nodded.
She didn't say anything more, instead, she pressed her lips against his own, ignoring the waves that pushed them softly.
When they returned to shore, Yua was busy eating while Daiyū dried her hair. Hinata sat down on the sand, not wanting to get the blanket wet.
"You guys were out there for a while, I thought you'd never come back. Just drifting away like the world didn't exist." The orange haired woman handed Hinata a sandwich.
"We were talking." Hinata thanked her, unwrapping the bread and taking a small bite out of it.
"Very romantic." Daiyū smiled, patting Yua on the back to let her know that she was finished with her hair. "We've been waiting for you both before we ate, but a whole hour went by and you guys didn't move. So I hope you don't mind."
"No, that's fine. We weren't really hungry before." Hinata opened her can of sparkling juice, took a deep breath and drank it.
After a few minutes, she excused herself. Sasuke's eyes followed her, watching as she walked further and further away until she was barely visible, but the sound of her emptying her stomach was loud enough for him to hear. Getting up, he ignored the gazes of the two women as he made his way to Hinata.
"Are you okay?" He leaned against the tree, letting her finish.
"I think being in the water made me—" She threw up again. "It wasn't a good idea to be here."
"Why do you think so?" He wiped her mouth with a napkin once she stood upright.
"It's been weeks since—"
"That's okay, the water made you uneasy. You couldn't have predicted that." He kissed her forehead.
Hinata sighed, knowing that it really was foolish to think that her enjoyment today was what caused her to feel sick. Sasuke was right, she didn't need to feel bad. "Thank you."
Sasuke nodded.
"It must be awkward...I just threw up and we're about to go back to them like nothing happened." She walked by his side with slow steps, hesitant to return to the duo.
"They don't have to know." Sasuke reassured her, "it's none of their concern."
"You're right." She squared her shoulders and put on a smile. "They won't even know."
"We can always skip that part and spend some time in the water again before leaving." He suggested.
"That's a better idea."
They made a detour and headed straight for the water instead.
For the entire day, until the sunset, they spent their time playing in the water or holding each other. They talked, and occasionally, she would go and swim around with Yua before returning to his side.
As they packed their things and waved goodbye to the other couple, Hinata hummed as they headed back to the inn. The warm air was slowly cooling, and being in damp clothes made them shiver. Opening their room door, she stretched happily and set the scrolls down on the table.
"I call dibs on the shower." She said, turning to him and smiling.
"I wasn't going to fight you for it."
"I knew that." She escaped into the bathroom.
Sasuke shook his head, smirking to himself as he unpacked their things and put their wet clothes in the sink — with plans to wash them before they left.
Hinata stepped out of the bathroom, steam following her as she attempted to dry her hair while wrapping her arm, "where to next, Uchiha?"
"I thought you liked calling me 'Sasuke'." He grabbed a fresh towel and some clothes.
"I do, but saying 'Uchiha' is fun sometimes. You still call me 'Hyuga', I think it's only fair that I do the same." She sat down on the bed.
"That's only done when—"
"You're being serious. I know." She finally finished with her hair and bandages. "Now hurry, shower, we had plans, didn't we?"
Sasuke stared at her and smirked. "Impatient, aren't you?"
"Be quiet, and go." She threw her pillow at him, her cheeks dusted pink.
— • —
They sat across from each other, her arms were hugged to her stomach while his lay on his knees. Hinata's heartbeat was echoing in her head, her hands clammy and her throat dry as she stared at everything but him.
"Tell me when you're not comfortable, alright?" He reached for her hand, coaxing her into sitting closer to him.
She nodded, biting her lip, she sat up straight. "Can I sit..."
He shifted, stretching his legs and leaning comfortably against the headboard. Pulling her onto his lap, he moved her hair out of her face. "Is everything okay?"
"Mhm, I...I'm ready." She rested her hands on his shoulder.
It had been a full year since she's been sexually active, at least, willingly active. Being so focused on destroying herself, having no plans to continue living, and struggling with an eating disorder that was tearing her apart from the inside out; sex was the last thing on her list.
But now she couldn't get it out of her mind, she wanted to feel him. All of him. If that was going to take some time, then that was okay, she was fine with that, and she would listen to what her body and mind were saying.
Today, she wanted to start slow.
He placed his hands on her hips, lifting her shirt slowly. Taking her shirt off, his hand reached to unclasp her bra but she shook her head. He watched as she did so herself, hesitating to remove the straps herself — so he did. The undergarment fell between them, completely forgotten as he kissed her neck and collarbone.
Her breath hitched as he kept littering her chest and neck with warm kisses. Weaving her fingers through his hair as he kissed her breasts, she urged him on.
Sasuke was careful and calculative, he made sure to pay attention to the sounds she was making as he shifted their position. Carefully laying her down, he held the edge of her shorts, waiting for some sort of consent to continue.
She pulled him up, stopping him from kissing and sucking on her neck. She connected their lips instead, grinding her hips against his own. She felt him slip her pants off, the cool air of the room contrasting with the heat that radiated from her. She moaned as he pressed his finger against her warmth.
"Please." She whimpered, her skin was on fire, her senses were overloaded. The room was spinning, everything felt like too much but she wanted more.
Pushing her panties to the side, his fingers dipped briefly into her heat and he had to stop himself from absolutely breaking. Suppressing a moan, he focused only on her and making her feel good.
Her legs began shaking, feeling the way he handled her with such care as he whispered softly in her ear. Hinata felt her eyes fill with tears as his fingers curled inside her. Her breathing became heavy, his lips trailing along her stomach until he was facing her opening.
She felt embarrassed, wanting to close her legs the longer he lay there. She was about to ask him what was wrong until she felt his mouth engulf her.
Ah, so this was what it felt like to be taken care of.
She threw her head back against the pillows, biting her lips hard as she stifled her moans. Her fingers gripped the bedsheets, her other hand occupied with pulling him closer.
More. She wanted more.
Tears slipped down her cheeks, her stomach twisting as she began shaking. Her words were stuck in her throat, but he understood as he reached for her hand and held it. She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't care at the moment.
He was taking her over the edge.
When Sasuke finally sat up, he watched as she caught her breath. Her arm was slung over her face in an attempt to hide as she cried softly. Pulling her arm gently, he wiped her tears and kissed her forehead, whispering comforting words to her.
Minutes went by as he calmed her down, he never stopped taking care of her even as she fell asleep in his arms. Sasuke got up, carefully laying her down as he went to get a warm cloth to clean her up. Wiping her face and body, slipping on a clean pair of undergarments on her before he pulled one of his shirts over her bare body, he laid down beside her and held her close.
Never once did he mind his own ache and wanting, because she was his priority.