This book contains strong language, mentions of drug abuse, overdose, suicide, car crash, anxiety, strong language and mature scenes.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Note to self: This book is completely fiction so please don't mind the terms, clubs or places I use. I don't own any of the them.
You're free to imagine what ever you want to.
Enjoy!!!
__________________
~VERONICA
Four years ago.
London, England.
"Here to present the final award of the night, 3 time award winning manager..... Roderick Jameson!"
The applause is deafening as my father's name is mentioned, it gets louder when he walks to the stage, smiling ear to ear in his amazing tux.
"Thank you, thank you," he smiles sheepishly, "I'm here to present the award for best new artist, and the nominees are...."
The announcer begins to mention the names of the nominees and their songs being played in the background.
This is my second nomination of the night, I've won one so far, song of the year, but that doesn't make me any less nervous especially because this is my first time being part of an award ceremony. I wasn't scheduled to perform, mostly cause we've been on the road the past month or so, and Dad thought it might be too much pressure.
I feel uncle Carl's warm hand over mine, "relax kiddo, you've got this one in the bag."
I laugh nervously, "what makes you so sure?"
"Because you are the best new artist." He says matter of factly with a smile.
Uncle Carl has been my manager for the past... well, since I began singing professionally and has been so supportive, even more than dad. We've spoken and dreamt of winning the biggest awards and selling out the biggest arenas, and now it's all coming true. My tour all over Europe is coming this summer and we're beginning with Wembley stadium, which is already sold out like most of the tour, winning this award will help gain more popularity in Europe.
"Veronica Jameson!"
My heart thuds so fast as I hear dad mention my name. Everybody around me stand and applaud as the spotlight is set on me.
"You won!" Uncle Carl helps me up with a tight hug which makes me laugh, "congratulations." He kisses my cheek before letting go.
Holding up my long dress, I walk over to Dad on the podium , to get my second award of the night.
Dad hands the award over and kisses my forehead before mouthing, "I'm so proud of you." I say 'mouthing' because I can't hear a thing over the sound of the loud crowd.
"Oh my goodness urm--" I say in the microphone, facing the crowd, "I don't know what to say, I'm shaking," I laugh lightly, "urm, where do I begin? I'm honored to have been nominated along with all these other amazing artists, it means so much to me to take this second award home, thank you."
I motion the golden award and there's another applause.
"I want to thank my fans, if it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't be here, you're incredible," deafening applause, "I'd also like to thank my team and my family, my dad, my uncle. Nothing would be possible without them."
Dad smiles proudly and I catch uncle Carl's wink.
"And I'd love to thank my inspiration, the woman who made all this happen," I motion around, "the woman who saw my talents even before I knew I had them and that's my mother." The deafening applause makes me tear up, "she bought me my first guitar when I was 7, she taught me to play and express my emotions through what I love most and that's music. I'm just really proud to be her daughter and I hope she's looking down on me, smiling...because this is for her," I lift the award, "this means the world to me and I just want to thank everyone who's made it possible, thank you guys!"
There's a deafening applause, which makes me smile as I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. I walk over to hug dad, who's in tears, trying his best not to show it though.
"I'm so proud of you." He says as we break away from the hug.
_____
"Yes Mr Yim, sure..." Dad walks ahead of me, towards the exit, he's been on the phone since forever, we've barely spoken and I'm so exhausted, these heels are killing me!
"Girl..." That's Maria, she's in charge of my wardrobe, makeup and hair, "two fucking awards!"
She mutters an apology after Dad gives her a warning look, he doesn't like me cussing or people cussing near me, I'm 19 years old for crying out loud! I can take a cuss.
"You are on fire girl," she sweeps her bangs behind, "lemme get some of that heat."
She gives me the tightest of hugs known to man kind, I can barely breathe...
"You're like a star now... Famous and all, your pics are all over this city. Look," she shows me the photos of myself on billboards, stadiums and famous places all over the united kingdom.
"Wow," I breathe out.
"It must feel awesome," she muses. "People knowing you everywhere, running when your car passes by just to get a glimpse of you."
When she puts it like that, it kinda sounds scary.
I sigh, "that's probably why I have Alan."
Alan is Dad's right hand man, and unrecognized best friend who's also my bodyguard, he was assigned that job 2 months ago because someone asked me for a selfie but instead, grabbed my hat in public and ran for the hills, not a good reason to have a bodyguard, I know, but my Dad is so paranoid.
"You're amazing, Roni," Maria continues, "you should be proud of that."
"Aww please shut up," I tear up, hugging her tightly. It makes her laugh.
"Now I got wardrobe duties, I'll see you later, superstar." With another humongous proud smile, she walks off.
"I'll speak to her manager and inform you by tomorrow afternoon," Dad continues his conversation with Mr Yim who's wanted to book me to sing at some event here in Europe for months but we've never had time to plan things out because of my busy schedule, "sure thing, have a great night."
Dad blows out a breath after hanging up.
"What did he want? Same old, same old?"
"No," dad shakes his head, "well yes, he wants to book you on behalf of his friend," he clarifies, "to be part of the world cup theme."
"Wait, wasn't the world cup like a month ago?"
"He wants you on he next one. It'll happen in four years."
"Booking four years in advance?" I burst out laughing.
What if my music will be shit by then?
"Yeah, he thinks your schedule might be too busy so planning in advance is better for him because after performing the theme, he wants you in Asia for a whole month."
"A whole month?" I echo, "why though?"
"I'll explain everything tomorrow baby, I'm exhausted, let's head to the hotel."
I nod in agreement,. following behind him.
"Aren't you two going to the after party?" Uncle Carl appears, coming towards us, "it begins in like 10."
"It'll be at the hotel, right?" I ask a little too enthusiastic.
"Even if it's in your hotel room, you won't attend," Dad says in a firm tone, "got it?"
I frown at him.
"Why not?" Uncle Carl butts in, "she's invited to go and is old enough to make her own decisions--"
"Carl don't."
Here we go again.
"When will you let her live her own life, Rody? She's been under your wing for far too long if you ask me. She's smart, brave and has her own career, hell, she's making more money than you and I ever made in our entire fucking lives."
"Watch your mouth--"
"And you watch your tone, I might be your younger brother but that doesn't make you in charge of how I fucking speak!"
Two bulls going head to head. This isn't new, they argue all the time, especially when it comes to me. Uncle Carl doesn't have any kids, he probably won't anytime soon, he's still young, in his mid 30s, he's handsome, successful, rich, a total ladies man.
My Dad's the opposite. Which makes him less fun.
Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but since Mom died 5 years ago, he's been a little distant, always working, never has time for me, unless it's work related, I get that he's the president of a record label but come on! I'm his daughter!
Dad's phone rings and he steps away from the glaring contest with Uncle Carl.
Hallelujah!
"Yes..." He moves away from us, I'm guessing it's private, not like it's a woman, it's work, like always.
"You wanna go to that party?" Uncle Carl asks in a soft tone.
I nod immediately, knowing dad isn't looking and my uncle wouldn't tell on me, he's too cool to be a rat.
"Then let's go." He smiles mischievously.
I frown, "but what about Dad?"
"He'll only stop us if he sees us." He shrugs before to dad who's busy engrossed in the phone conversation before grabbing my hand and we run out of the place.
"Uncle, he'll kill us!" I yell, still running behind him.
"And it's gonna be so worth it!"
I laugh, but don't stop.
We're going to have fun.
Yes!
***
"Look what I got for you." Uncle Carl hands me a bottle of wine and my eyes widen in surprise, I'm not allowed to drink, dad's orders of course.
"Dad will freak."
"You're right!" Uncle gasps dramatically before composing himself, "don't tell me you think I care."
I laugh lightly and grab the bottle from him.
After ditching Dad, we switched off our phones, knowing he'll blow them up. We figured he'd wait to yell at us at the after party so we're just sitting outside my uncle's car, letting some time pass before heading there. Hoping we'll find Dad's already gone.
"Do you have a glass or a cup?"
"Fuck sipping," uncle waves me off, and I throw my head back laughing, "down the entire bottle, you're gonna need it." He winks.
After drinking more than half of the bottle, uncle Carl keeps telling me funny stories of John, the guy he was managing a few years ago, as he sips on beer. I prefer wine, it's sweeter, beer is bitter, makes me nauseous.
"So, you wanna take her for a ride?" He motions car keys for his yellow mustang.
"No way! Are you serious?"
"Yup."
I get on my feet but pause when I feel like the world is spinning, and a sour taste covers my throat, "whoa."
"What?" There's some teasing in my uncle's voice, "can't take a bottle of wine, kiddo?"
I laugh lightly, trying to even my stance, acting all brave and strong, "wine is nothing," I wave it off, "let's go for that drive."
His car is warmer than the outside, I'll blame it on Maria, she's in charge of my wardrobe and chose this strappy dress for me to wear at the ceremony, this is London for crying out loud, it's freezing!
I place the key in the ignition and it roars to life, I can't help the feeling of excitement in my heart, the rebel in me dancing around with happiness, it's probably the wine, it's making me feel too happy.
"Ready?" I ask a little too loud.
Uncle Carl give me a smile, "as ready as I'll ever be."
Then I speed out of the place, ignoring all traffic signs and lights, adrenaline settling inside my body, leaving me with a hazy vision, or it's just the wine.
I start playing the radio and shockingly, it's my song being played, my first song, the song that's made all my dreams come true.
I don't know if it's just the wine and excitement but I sound amazing!
Don't wanna see you again...
I have nothing to gain,
By seeing your face.
All the nights we stayed awake
Doing things only you and I knew.
Me being up here, doesn't ease the hurt, it would be better if you were next to me,
Don't wanna feel this pain,
That only you can claim,
Cause you'll always be in my heart,
But....
I Don't wanna see you again...
"Yeah!"
"You're a fucking star!" Uncle Carl yells over the music.
He turns up the music and I step on it, speeding the already swerving car.
"I'm a star!" I yell with a laugh, my vision becoming even more hazy.
"Yes you are, and you're old enough to do or say whatever the hell you want without anyone saying otherwise." He encourages.
"You know what..." I spare him a glance before focusing back on the road, "you're right. I can do whatever the bloody hell I want! I can cuss if I wanna!"
"Yes, you fucking can!" He encourages.
"Fuck you world, fuck everything!"
Uncle Carl bursts out in a belly laugh, shaking his head, "you're crazy."
I join him laugh before we look at each other and have another laughing round.
I have the most fun with my uncle, he's just loose and doesn't give a shit about anything, he doesn't care about people's opinion. He does what he wants unapologetically, and that makes him brave, oblivious and ignorant which will probably bite him back one day, but brave.
"Is this the best you got?" He challenges, "step on it!"
And I do.
For a split second, uncle Carl's face turns into total horror, "look out!"
But before I notice the man in front of us, there's a loud crash, which causes me to break.
I crash into a motorcycle and the person on it dives on the windshield, causing it to crack, rolls over the roof before he finally falls on the ground, behind our car. It all happens so fast but still somehow feels like slow motion.
He groans in pain like an animal, then followed by whimpers. Then he goes totally silent. Not moving.
My heart is in my mouth at this point, it's dark outside, nobody is in sight and my breathing sounds like there's a microphone taped to my lips.
All that keeps playing in my mind is, I just killed a man, I just killed a man.
"Fuck, Fuck, Fucking fuck!" Uncle Carl says as he looks behind, at the man I just hit. "Damn it!"
Oh God. I can't breathe.
"Is he-- is he--" I stutter, "is-- is he d-d-dead?"
My fingers grip the steering wheel like my life depends on it. How could I not have seen him turning by the corner? What will happen to my life now? I'll go to jail, I can't survive there, I'll die! And my dad? He'll kill me! And my career will die!
Everything I see is dying in my face!
"I don't fucking know." Uncle Carl spits, making me wince.
But I can just sit here. I need to do something, I need to help him, call an ambulance maybe? Call a family member using his phone? This is weird and creepy, I run him over and now want to go through this pockets?
I'm a mess!
But he needs my help, I can explain everything, it was an accident. I'm 19 but I don't have a license, I was drinking before driving a car which isn't mine...
God. I sound like a criminal.
What matters more now? This man's life or me dying in jail on my first day?
No, no, no. Maybe he won't press charges against me, wait....what if it's my uncle who goes to jail? He might be brave and arrogant but he's a softie, he's gonna die in there!
Veronica, focus!
Dying. Man. Outside. Needing. Your. Help!
What if he is dead? Is that his dead body? Is he still breathing?
No!
Focus. Focus. Focus.
When I force myself to open the car door, I'm yanked back inside by the arm non too gently by uncle Carl.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"
"T-to help h-him--" I motion behind.
I killed a man at 19, what evil did will I do at 25? 30? I'm a lethal weapon!
"You're not going anywhere. Drive." Uncle Carl orders.
What?
I shake my head, tears falling from my eyes, "but he needs our help, it's the least we can do after--"
"We?" He seethes, eyes turning dark, "this was all you. And if you even think of exiting this car, it'll be your end. You career just started, do you know what the media will do to your image if they find this out, they'll tarnish us. Me, you and your father."
I sob brokenly, "but--I,"
"But nothing! There's only you and I, no one will find this out unless you want to go to jail and tarnish your father's reputation which he's worked his ass off on building for more than half his life." I've never seen my uncle this cold and distant especially with me, "now if you value your career and respect your Dad, drive away from here, right now."
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I don't spare another glance behind before I speed out of the place. Leaving the man I just ran over on the ground, not even bothering to call the ambulance.
And I will probably regret it for the rest of my life.