HER.
Of all the scenarios running through my head during that short time of anticipating his arrival, I never thought that he would have had me on my back within an hour of us being together. And so I lay there, panting, my mind so cloudy from our desperate kisses. I was questioning my willpower while catching my breath, feeling my swollen, grinning lips as my naked chest rose and fell hard. I let my head roll to the side, my eyes trying to focus on the sideway view of the kitchen, searching for Carson.
He went further than the kitchen, though, looking for my bedroom for something I had no clue of. I can't believe he's really here. And I can't believe I'm laying on the couch half-naked waiting for him to come back to me and rearrange my insides. My stomach tingles with nervousness. I didn't even shave. I curse, getting up off of the couch, my socks picking up static as I slid across the carpet. The moonlight reflecting off of the pots in my kitchen catch my eye as I pass it, but then I quickly remember why I'm off of the couch in the first place.
I know Carson is in my room, so I prepare myself not to be startled when I enter. He's not in here, though. I frown, covering my breasts because I felt completely exposed, and glanced around at my tidy little room. I lift an eyebrow at my dildo that used to stand tall on my dresser now resting on its side as if it fell over while being tampered with. "Carson," I say lowly, a teasing angry tone inflecting my voice as I push through the bathroom door. He jumps in place, startled, holding three condoms in his hand. We meet gazes in my big mirror, and that's when I notice the pack of makeup wipes clutched in his other hand. He smiled sheepishly.
When he turned around to face me, I took the makeup wipes out of his hand. "Why do you have these? And why do you have condoms I don't—" his free hand found a way around my throat, and he pulled me into a soft kiss, quieting me right on up. We break away, and he wipes my lipstick off of his lips.
"I have these," he sets the gold foil packages down to pick up my little packet of wipes, pulling one out and gently pulling me by the arm to stand between his legs as he leans against the countertop. "Because you have glitter all over your face." So he takes a hold of my cheeks with his right hand and dabs at my face with the damp cloth, ridding me of my ruined makeup. He cleans off my eyes, and I allowed him, blushing under the tenderness of his touch, even with my eyes closed I could feel his stare as he focused hard on doing it right.
I feel like this cleaning up after me thing is going to be something much more ordinary than how it feels right now. I chew on my cheek as my mind starts to picture him doing the same thing to our daughter if we have one, wiping her face of makeup, and tsking at her like he's doing to me right now. "You don't even need makeup. What's the point when you're already so breathtakingly beautiful?" I let out a hot breath, my heart stuttering in my chest from the compliment. Yeah, he'd make an awesome dad. "Though I kinda do like seeing your mascara run when I fuck you." I take back the compliment I gave him inside my head.
I feel the smooth, wet cloth on my lips, and I take it as a cue to open my eyes. His pretty, silver gaze was dropping from my lips to my breasts, and he sighs. "Are you ready to be a father?" I press my luck and both of our anxiety, rubbing my hard nipples against him. He chuckles, shaking his head and cleaning off my cheek before tossing the wipes into my trash beside the counter.
"Don't make me give you a third kid tonight." I shiver, goosebumps breaking out over my flesh. Give me alllllll of your kids. I moan, my body leaning over on its own to get as close as possible to this unfairly hot boy in front of me. I rest my head on his chest, trying to hold back the emotional tears from him wanting to give me another baby.
"Girl," he puts his hands on my arms, and pulls me backward, laughing at the tears sliding down my cheeks. "Is this what I'm going to have to put up with?" I nod my head, sniffing because it was one of those sporadic cries that instantly make your nose burn slightly and cloud up. I scrunch up my nose, trying not to cry anymore. He kisses the tip of my nose, warming me up inside.
"Can we just cuddle tonight?"
I know, I know. I ruined the entire mood. Everyone was waiting for the big moment—Carson and I rejoining together intimately. And I get it. A few moments ago I was definitely telling him to just stick it in me already, but one thing I've noticed about myself being pregnant is that my moods switch a the drop of a dime, a snap of a finger, a boner from Carson. My heart was telling me I needed sex and I needed sex with him because we have to make sparks fly and burn down the whole complex in the heat of our lovemaking and love confessions, but...now my heart is telling me I want his arms holding me close to his own beating heart as we talk about nothing important and fall asleep together. "Of course we can..." he bites the tip of his tongue to keep from saying anything else.
I giggle, pulling him along with me into my bedroom. He wasn't happy about not getting any sex but he was dealing with his case of blue balls for me, and it made me smile. His fingers felt so right linked against mine, and it felt as if he was recharging my insides with every minute that passed. "You're so sweet to me sometimes," I look over my shoulder, blushing at the sight of him taking my entire body in all over again, those shimmering, silver eyes burning my skin, and what was even better was that he has this puppy like pout on his pretty pink lips. I would say I feel bad for him, but he could use some practice in abstinence.
He halts at the side of the bed, and asks me if it's okay if he takes a shower first. I mean yeah that's cool, I don't want your sweat and grime all over my new bedsheets. He wanders off in there, without a towel because why would he think to ask me for one? He's a man.
My closet was on the left side of my bed, right between the bathroom and my headboard so that when I hopped out of the shower, I could get my clothes. I push down the brass door handle, the open door revealing my recently reorganized walk-in closet. During my low state after our breakup I did some deep cleaning, also known as 'nesting' because apparently, it's common for pregnant women go through a phase of cleaning, as if they are getting their nest ready for their newborn. Of course at the time I didn't know I was pregnant, I figured I was just stress cleaning.
I flick on the light switch on the wall, and place my hands on my hips, looking around for a shirt for me first. I turn around to leave, heading to my dresser on the opposite side of my bed and open the second drawer. Out of my small section of tank tops, I pull out a cute, cropped pink one before frowning at my stomach. Guess I'm gonna have to retire all my crops. But not today. I pull it over my head, and make my way back inside my closet to find Carson something to wear tonight.
He was not sleeping naked in my bed.
Well, not without a fight he wasn't. I take off the Led Zeppelin shirt he gave me when I first met his parents off of a hanger, moving my hanger to the front of the rack with a little smile on my face. Then I bite my lip before looking on one of my shelves for random clothing items that couldn't be grouped, remembering that I had a pair of boxers from the guy I tried to sleep with after we broke up. He might be mad at me for offering, but it's all I got. "Babe?" My heart freaking flutters hearing the endearment. Babe, Baby, Sweetheart, Honey, Rainy, βροχή, they all make my heart do a little dance in my chest.
I turn around, holding the shirt and boxers in my hands, my fingers clenching both fabrics tightly when taking in the sight of him naked. God, I forgot to give him a towel. My knees did a little wiggle I'm embarrassed to admit but only because he caught me off guard and I forgot how stupid hot he was underneath his clothes. And the tattoos. I greedily eat up the muscles of his chest and abdomen, so jealous of the water droplets running down them. "Get your wet feet off of my carpet," I push him backwards with my hand on his chest, instantly loving my decision to be touchy because his chest was so firm and yet so soft. I wanted to touch him all over.
He walks backwards as I step forward, getting him back into the bathroom, where the bright lights reflect in the water, giving his body a glisten and glow. I take a deep breath, accidentally watching a water droplet make its way down to his trimmed hair and the thick thing between his legs. "How did you wash your ass without a cloth?" I literally force my eyesight to be back where it needed to be: on his face.
"You have soap. I have hands." I—okay.
"Let me get you a towel."
"I was gonna ask if I could use yours."
"But I used it—"
"Exactly."
"You're so gross," I cringe, holding my hands up in defeat and let him do whatever it is he had to do after setting the clothes on the counter next to him. I get into the bed while he fixes himself up, wanting to get comfortable and ready for our cuddle session. I could feel tension leaving my body as soon as I laid underneath the soft, grey blankets, turning over on my side to watch Carson pull the shirt over his head, looking back at me with a cute little smirk.
"Thief."
"You said I could keep it."
"False. My mom said you could keep it." He sees the expression on my face and he nods his head slowly, chuckling a little. "Uh huh. She told me." He picks up the boxers on the counter with his index finger and thumb, waving them in the air with his nose scrunched. "Who the fuck are these?"
"They belong to the guy I almost slept with."
He rolls his eyes, tossing them into the trash. My eyes widen when he turns off the bathroom light, and walks into my room with nothing but his shirt on. My eyes toggle between the swinging dick and his smug face. "Excuse me, you're going to need some pants."
"I sleep naked," he pulls on the collar of the shirt as he tells me, "you're lucky you got me in this." I frown, watching as he rounds the bed, pulling the sheets back and climbing into it next to me. "Why don't you take your pants off too to make it even?"
"You're going to accidentally shove your penis inside of me, that's why I don't." He snorts, something that makes me grin. Then, his expression changes as he looks at me from the other side of the bed. "What?"
"Come here." It was like he pulled the breath out of me with those words, and my body reacted before I did, scooting closer to him, and a flash of heat spread through my entire body when he pulled me closer to him, the warm skin of his arms meeting the flesh of my back and hips. He gives me a kiss on the lips. I fight back a goofy, loving smile. Can't show him how much his kisses affect me. Can't show him how badly I missed his lips being on mine. Oh forget it. I lean in to give him another kiss, wanting to shower him in kisses but it would lead to other things.
Other things I'm burning to feel but my heart just wants to talk right now. My pussy, however, is throbbing for her companion, her thick, steel-like but soft and sweet dick. The hot and pulsing one. Not the one she's been getting that's slightly chilly and doesn't fill her up with babies. Same length, same girth, but a totally different vibe. The real thing is always going to one-up the molded dildo. I lay my head on his chest, my fingers tracing the tribal patterns inked on his arm. "How's your job?" I ask. I wanted to know how he was feeling about his choice, if he was loving the Texas atmosphere. Were his coworkers good? Was the environment healthy? Is his boss an ass or amazing?
"I like it a lot," he pulls me closer, tangling our legs together inadvertently resting his hard length against my tummy. This is why he needed boxers. How am I supposed to just talk and cuddle with that all up on me? "My boss is super chill. He's actually guiding me to start my own company, which is pretty sick. We're
working on a plot in a small town, there's whispers about it being either a dentistry, a market, or an apartment complex so clearly no one knows."
That pulls a little laugh out of me. "So since you're architecture...do you build the stuff or make the stuff?" I had no problem imagining Carson in a cute little hard hat, shirtless with some cargo pants and a utility belt on.
"I design, actually. I mean technically I could build, and I like to, but my boss doesn't want me to get my hands dirty because if I get hurt, then I lose my job. I get paid to draw a model essentially."
"Ah, so they really want you to use your brain and not your hands." Not gonna lie it kind of ruined my fantasy, but that's alright, he's just sharpening his finger skills by drawing and modeling, so it's still a perk for me, right? Not to mention the money he can make and help our little kiddos have a great shot at life. I kiss his chest, still not really believing that he's here with me.
"Basically, but I use my hands in other ways," and he trails one of his hands from my lower back down between my legs, running his fingers over my shorts delicately. My body responded before I could gather my own control, my back arching for so much more.
"Could you not make me want to hop on your dick right now?"
"Baby, that's the whole point of me being nearly naked in bed with you, right? Besides the cuddling and reconnecting part."
"Where do you live?" I dismiss him, but allow his wandering hands to continue to wander, fondling my ass cheeks and rubbing my clothed pussy. They start a little loop, touching my lower half before caressing my thighs and trailing all the way back up to tease my sides. I move my touch from his tattooed arm to his neck, always being tender, not wanting to scare him. I shake my head, still having that angry boiling in my chest from rehearing his words in my head. I'd kill her on site. I've never done anything that horrible to anyone, haven't even gotten into a fight but I'd do it for him, even if he'd hate me for it. Never could I ever...
"We're going to have to fix your hatred for her," he whispers, pulling me on top of him so he could manipulate both my hands to be around his neck. "It's okay, Sweetheart."
"It's not okay, though," I tear up, sliding my hands up to cup his jaw. "I—"
"Shhh," he kisses the bridge of my nose sweetly. "I live with Ryker." I'm not sure why I didn't piece that together on my own, especially after I realized Ryker lied to me when we first met about having a place in Texas. I can only imagine the dynamic of the house being so tense at times because even though Ryker is a teddy bear, he can be pretty lethal, and add Carson's masculinity to his already flaming fire and you have a hot mess. "I'm going to get a house though."
"Why when you're moving in with me?" I ask cheekily, flashing a bashful smile, that only turned more shy with the dominant look that crossed his face in the shadows of my room.
"Why the hell would I move in with you when I have a job?"
"I have a job."
"You have an internship." I gasp. Did I tell him I got an internship? I guess it makes sense since I've had it for quite some time now. Was it during the time we were still together? Honestly the days were blending into themselves so much with everything going on that I can't keep up with what's pre and post breakup. "A paid internship. I have a job. You're moving with me."
"No. I can't leave my internship I'd never get a job—" I feel my stomach turn with that fear of change all over again. What if I can't find a job? Then Carson will get mad at me because we're in this relationship with two kids and I can't even help pay bills.
"Jesus, Raine calm down," he grips my sides tightly, bringing me down to Earth, to the bed, on top of him, in my condo. "I'm not talking about right now. We have like six months until you pop these babies out, we can move in four months. Your internship isn't going to last forever. I'll get you a job—okay? I swear it. You always get so antsy talking about relationship stuff. We'll go slow, baby."
"I'm sorry," I sigh. "I just get a little nervous."
"Well stop being nervous. I got you. I'm here, okay?" It was the firmness of his tone, the finality of it made me feel so secure. So this is it. This is us. Commitment at its finest. Man and woman. Kids. A house. Together. Bound forever.
"Okay," I breathe lightly. "I'm sorry if I get a little crazy sometimes, you're just going to have to reel me back in."
"I love how you think I haven't figured that out already." And there was the cutest twinkle in his eyes, and they told me that even though he knows, there's nothing that's going to stop him from reeling me right on back when I feel like swimming away. "Kiss me goodnight, honey."
How could I not? I lift my head a little higher, meeting him halfway as he arched down to put his lips on mine, right where they belonged. I melted, accepting this turn in our lives. Accepting all that he has to give me, and relishing in relinquishing all that I have to give him. I'm not sure if he did it on purpose, but he thrust his hips up a little, letting me know he was more than ready if I somehow changed my mind about wanting to only cuddle tonight. I can't lie and say I'm not tempted. "What's the reason you don't want to fuck like idiots?"
I reach down to touch him for the first time in months. "Ah, fuck," he tosses his head back against the pillows, exposing his throat for me when I stroked his heavy length under the blankets slowly, twice.
"I'm just tired, really," I say honestly. "I'm horny as hell," I think momentarily before shrugging and rubbing up my wetness under my shorts. I tap into my dirty side and stroke him again, slicking the shaft up with my own arousal. Feeling my stupid pubes down there nearly gave me a heart attack because I forgot I didn't shave, but ah well, the further long I get, the less I actually can. Can't shave what you can't see. "But you're going to want to treat me like a demolition, and I'm not feeling up for that much dick."
"Okay that's true, but I can give it slow." I arch my right eyebrow at him as I shook my head slowly. He chuckled when I stopped to tsk at him.
"Tell you what," I go on, lazily stroking him, enjoying his slight body ticks of pleasure. "Just because I feel bad that you're basically begging for my magical pussy," I tease. "If I'm still wound up in the middle of the night then I give you permission—only if you promise not to hurt me. I'm not in the mood for rough sex."
He places two fingers up to his forehead in the form of a salute, then hugs me close. "I love you."
"Me or my sex?"
"Both," he answers much too quickly. "Always both." We go to sleep cuddled up with my head on his chest, and I think it's the best sleep I've had in a long time.
He's here. With me.
I think I left a little puddle of tears on his chest.
___
Don't hurt me please 🙈
Carson's already cussing me out.
Xoxo