"Are you sure that you don't care anymore? Hmm?" June teasingly raised his brow at me.
He said this for the nth time. I guess it's already been twenty minutes since he was saying this. Hindi ako sure. Paulit-ulit nalang.
I sitted properly and smile at him.
"I don't care about it."
"Are you sure?" Inilapit niya ang kaniyang mukha sa akin.
I playfully slap his cheek and laugh. I get my milk tea and sip a bit.
"I'm so, so sure. And besides, I don't have any relationship with you. You know everything was a lie." I smile at him as I remember what Dad confessed me five years after I arrived here in U.S.
I was crying while traveling. I ask some help to my friends to help me travel here in US. The money, papers and everything needed to go here.
I'm even shocked when I saw Daddy lying in a hospital bed when I arrived. That's why I got confuse when I said that I need to go to a hospital here in Washington.
"Dad... Daddy?" Nakanganga ako at hindi maproseso habang nakatingin sa kaniya.
He looks sick and a bit pale. Ang sakit na nararamdaman ko baon galing Pilipinas ay naglaho habang nakatingin sa kaniyang kalagayan. All I know that Dad is happy living here while preparing for the upcoming wedding.
Hindi ko kailan inisip na ganito ang maabutan ko. This shock me really big time.
"April, sweetie," Dad open his arms and laugh a bit.
I'm still shock habang papalapit sa kaniya. Napahinto ako at tinigan ang kaniyang kabuuan. I covered my mouth, still shock and can't process what just welcome me. Daddy smile tiredly like telling me everything is alright.
I immediately cried on his arms nang nakabawi sa pagkatulala. I remain hugging him. Looking for the comfort but I realized that it's my Dad who needs comfort from me. Yinakap ko ng mahigpit si Daddy. I forget why I cane here. Naiiyak ako ngayon sa kalagayan ni Daddy.
He looks healthy and happy when he leaves me and go here. Tapos ay ganito siya kahina ngayon.
He explained everything to me. He said that he had a heart problem that he failed to notice. Medyo malala na ng kaniyang malaman. He immediately consulted a doctor and the doctor advice him to get a surgery to prolong his life. My dad's doctor advice that it's better to have an operation outside the country because they have advance equipment.
Naiiyak ako lalo habang nakikinig kay Daddy. While Im doing stupid things in the mansion tapos si Daddy ay nakikipaglaban na pala sa buhay niya dito. I don't have any knowledge about this. I feel so guilty that I am his only family yet I don't know his condition.
"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry..." I sob and continue eating sorry. I feel like it's my fault. Na may kasalanan ako.
"Shhh... Don't be guilty, ija. Please..."
Umiling ako kay Daddy. How can't I? Wala man lang akong kaalam-alam. And whenever he called me, hindi ko man lang napansin ang pagbabago.
Sa huli ay inayos ko ang sarili ko. Baka ang pag-iyak ko ay makasama pa sa kalagayan ni Daddy.
He explained more about his condition. Daddy taught that he can be cured without having a surgery. He consulted lot of doctors. May iba-ibang opinyon. And having a heart surgery is critical especially on Dad's condition.
They stayed here and before making making a decision. They also look for a heart donor. And when everything settled, they started the surgery. He was in coma for a month. Kaya pala hindi siya nakikipagvideo-call na sa akin. He rested until his body become normal. Hindi naman ganun lalaki ang binawas ng katawan ni Daddy. But one look, you'll know that he's not in a good condition.
"I'm sorry, April. I need to lie to you. I don't want you to worry about me. You're entering college and I don't want you having a hard time while studying," Daddy wipe my tears. "You're so precious to me, anak. I don't want your smiles, laugh, at lalo na ang pagkapilya mo minsan na mapalitan ng problema at pag-aalala."
I shook my head and cried. I don't want to blame Daddy for not telling me his condition. Daddy needs my presence, support and love more than anything.
We stayed like that for a long moment.
"How about your marriage, Dad?" hindi ko na mapigilang itanong.
"I'm not marrying Mel, ija. Hindi totoong ikakasal kami. She is your mother's friend and a friend of mine. And ask a favor to her that we need to act that we're going to be married. That's the only thing come into my mind."
Nalilito akong tinignan si Daddy.
"You know that our relatives don't treat as so well. At wala akong ibang tao na hahabilinan sayo. I know that you're already legal but Im not comfortable thinking that you'll be living with Manang Rossi along with our workers. And also, if the operation will not be successful, at least I will be relieved that you will be living in good hands."
"Daddy!" saway ko dahil sa huling sinabi niya.
Daddy explained more. Ako lang pala ang walang alam.
And also, June's mother agree to be with Daddy. Meron din kasi itong kailangan dito sa Amerika. They are planning to expand their business here in US.
I don't know but I was relieved that Daddy is not marrying Tita Melissa. At least, kissing Raven and fucking him once is making comfortable. It's not really a sin since we are not going to be siblings, but I am more relieved now that we are not really going to be.
I stayed in Daddy's side hanggang gumaling na siya ng tuluyan.
"Two days from now, they will have a private meeting in one of our restaurant branch in Cebu," June added.
"Duh? Why are you telling me about it. Anong pake kung magpakasal silang dalawa." I rolled my eyes.
Tumaas ang kilay ni June sa sinabi kom
"Really? You don't really care that Kuya is going to marry a woman?"
"That's his life, his decision. If he is so in love, then it's the right thing to get married!"
Right? Anong pake kong magpakasal siya, diba? I don't care! Even they will get married infront of me. Ako pa ang maid of honor!
Oh, really April? Totoo?!
"Should I request Kuya to be part of the wedding?" tuya niya.
I spoiled on my milktea, then glared at him.
"I have important errands, June. I just graduated months ago and I'm planning to use my knowledge and skills in the field I wanted."
"You changed course, eh?"
Two years ago when June fly here. Dalawang taon ng umalis ako sa kanila ng lukipad siya dito. He studied in a prestigious school here in US. While I studied in Central Washington University. Naging malusog na ulit si Daddy and I'm thankful. He go back to the Philippines and ask me to come with him but I decided not.
I learned to be independent. Tho I missed Dad but he always visited me here. Minsan lang din kami nagkikita ni June dahil pareho kaming busy sa pag-aaral. Business ang kinuha kong kurso rito sa Amerika.
I never also had a chance to tell my problem. Tinanong niya ako kung bakit ako umiiyak. I just liked to him para hindi na siya mag-alala.
"That is just you're going to tell me, June?"
"Are you really sur-"
"Paulit-ulit?!" galit kong sinabi. He's annoying.
The hell I care if Raven is getting married. Paulit-ulit nalang. Raven is getting married. Raven is getting married! Nakakairita!
"Easy." He raised his both hands. Then playfully smirk at me. "But if you change your mind, I can help you to stop the wedding..."
Napatitig ako ng matagal dahil sa sinabi niya. Stop the wedding? And he will me? Pinanliliksikan ko siya ng mata pero ngumiti lang siya sa akin.
I crossed my arms and watch him carefully.
"Do you have grudge against your brother?"
He pursed his lips.
"I don't."
"Hmmm... You don't. So you like Sunny that's why you want to stop the upcoming wedding?"
Yes, Sunny. The same Sunny who I hate now. Sino pa nga ba? Umalis ako sa mansiyon nila dala ang nalaman na mahal niya si Sunny. And now, they're getting married. Fuck then both!
He laugh like my statement is very ridiculous. "I'm helping you. Maybe you still have feelings for my brother?!" he tease.
I rolled my eyes at him. I told him that I like Raven when I'm living in their mansion a year ago. He don't even look shocked. He said that it was so obvious.
But on Raven's part, I don't know. He was so vague or maybe he was just so sure that he really don't have feelings for me. He never said that he likes me. And when we have sex that time, kung saan isang beses lang, I remember that he didn't do it inside me. He pulled out. Duh, why I'm making a big deal. Syempre, takot 'yong mabuntis ako at wala siyang nararamdaman para sa akin.
"Call me if you change your mind." That what's his last word.
Paulit-ulit kong iniisip ang sinabi ni June.
I don't have feelings for Raven anymore. I don't have feelings for him anymore! Huh! Does he think that this is some kind novel that a girl can't move with him after a long, long years! Pwes, hindi. Wala na akong nararamdaman para sa kaniya.
Kaya anong pake ko sa buhay niya. Anong pake ko kung... ikakasal na siya?! Wala. Akong. Pake!
But here I am, standing outside the restaurant that June said. Kakarating ko lang at may jetlag pa ngunit dumiretso na agad ako dahil nagsisimula na raw ang kanilang plano para sa kasal.
Wala sabi akong paki, pero nandito ako ngayon.
"Oh, I thought you don't care any-"
"Shut up, June! Just tell what I need to do to stop the wedding."
June smirk at me. He playfully whistle as he look at me with full amusement. Gago rin ang isang 'to. Long years have past and he now looks very manly and handsome. I don't know why he choose to study here. I remember that there is something going on with him and Lily. But I choose not to ask him about it.
"You really what to stop the wedding, huh? What's your reason?"
Inirapan ko siya. "Just tell your plan, June. And I'm just bored so I'm doing this. So stop asking me and say what I need to stop."
"Akala ko ay busy naghahanap ka ng trabaho at wala ka ng paki..."
"Oo nga. And since you offer, at wala din akong ginagawa pa..."
He playfully laugh. "I'd buy that petty reason of yours."
I rolled my eyes again, trying not to stop myself from talking more para matigil na rin siya.
He sitted properly and put both in hands on the table while looking at me.
"So, you're going to pretend that you're pregnant to stop the upcoming wedding-"
"I will fucking what?!" Halos mapatayo ako dahil sa sinabi niya. My voice raise a bit.
Sino ba namang hindi? Kailan ba talagang umabot pa sa puntong magpanggap akong buntis?! At bakit ako nagpapanggap na buntis?!
"Hear me first, will you?"
I sighed. Plano niya naman 'to eh. "Continue."
"So...." he pouted, "you're going pretend that your pregnant and of course the father will my brother."
Napalunok ako. Kunwari ay buntis ako sa anak ni Raven? That's a ridiculous plan.
"Sa tingin mo ba ay naniniwala si Raven a buntis ako at siya ang ama? Your brother is intelligent, June!"
"He's not the target. Si Sunny. Imagine her reaction if she will know that Raven impregnated a girl while they're wedding is coming. It's a horror!"
I nodded as I listen to what said. At tinatak ko sa isip ang mga sinabi niya hanggang nakarating na nga ako rito.
Hindi ko nalang din tinanong kung bakit Sunny nalang ang tawag niya. As far as I remember, close naman sila ni Sunny no'n.
The hostess welcome me with a smile. He said his welcoming words and ask if I have a reservation. I didn't mind him because my heart palpitate abnormally as I enter the restaurant. It's spacious and the ambiance is really nice.
Hindi rin kasi sinabi ni June na hindi pala pwedeng walang reservation. So, I just didn't mind the guy stalking me and asking for my reservation. I continue walking. I swallowed and tried to be confident until I really become confident while walking.
"Ma'am, you can come a-again if you have a r-reservation..."
Wearing my deep v-neck black dress with a Louis Vuitton black belt, a black Hermes six inches higheel, a big black glasses, with black accessories, and a black Chanel bag in my right hand, I walk confidently to the VIP section of the restaurant.
The other customers of the restaurant look at me like I'm a famous artist in the country. But the other look at me weirdly, maybe because I look like going to a funeral ceremony.
Well, I'm not mourning for something or someone. I'm just going to spread black today, to spread negative energy to ruin the upcoming wedding.
"Ma'am do you have a reservation... You can tell us so we can accommodate y-you..."
I slowly get annoyed with him. Medyo kinakabahan pa nga ako dahil sa gagawin tapos ay sunod pa siya ng sunod.
Kaya nang nakapasok ako at sinabi ang dahilan kung bakit hindi pwedeng ituloy and dahilan.
"I said, I'm pregnant and Raven is the father of the child," I smile evilly to Sunny, trying to annoy her more. I smile evilly inside as I watch her shock expression.
The horror on Sunny's face is really satisfying. Para bang binuhusan niya all ng kape. I'm starting to enjoy this!
All of them have the same expression: shock. Except to Raven who's looking at me darkly.
"You're just bluffing and making up a story!" si Sunny ng nakabawi mula sa pagkagulat. "Diyan ka naman magaling-"
I get the papers a throw in the table and push it to her. She stop from talking.
June had a very brilliant idea. I don't know where he get this pregnancy test, and some papers that will prove that I am really pregnant. Maybe he pull some strings to do it.
"I have papers to prove it. You studied naman kaya you can understand what's written in that papers."
Tanging si Sunny lang ang kumiha ng papel at binasa iyon. Si Tita Melissa naman ay kausap ang mga magulang ni Sunny. I am very satisfied while looking at Sunny who's about to cry. Poor her, mukhang hindi matutuloy ang kasal!
A large hand immediately hold my wrist. It's Raven who looks furious. Hinila niya ako papalabas sa VIP room. He hold my wrist tightly, not giving me a chance to slip away from him.
Of course, si Raven ay hindi naniniwala na siya ang ama dahil wala namang nangyari sa amin recently. Our target is only Sunny. To discouraged her in pursuing the wedding. Kung ako ang babae at malalaman kung nakabuntis ang mapapangawasa ko ng ibang babae, hindi ko itutuloy ang kasal.
I probably kill my fiance and his mistress.
I tried to remove from his grip but he's to strong. Dumaan kami sa ibang daanan kung saan hindi kita ng mga customer.
Sinarado niya ang pintuan ng sasakyan matapos niya akong ipasok sa loob. Halatang galit na galit siya. Padabog niya kasi iyong sinarado.
"Where are you bringing me?!"
He didn't answer and started to drive. If we're not in the main road, I think he will drive so fast. He looks so furious that he needed to loosen up his tie and open the first three button of his long sleeve. His gripping the stirring wheel tightly and look darkly at the road.
I can see the fire and rage on his eyes. Like he can kill someone right now.
Mabilis ang takbo niya at huminto kami sa isang matayog na gusali. I'm too busy to remove my hands from his grip that I didn't notice where now infront of a door. Probably his unit.
"Raven!"
Sinarado niya ang pintuan ng condo at hinarap ako. He is clenching his jaw agresively and repeatedly. Namumula ang kaniyang leeg and some veins on it protuded. His brows form in straight line.
"Answer me properly and honestly," mariin niyang sinabi. His cold voice made me shiver. Ive never seen him mad like this.
"Are you pregnant?" his voice is so cold like I'm in the North Pole, surrounded by nothing but ice.
I gulped. Umurong ang dila ko at hindi halos makapagsalita. But I remember how he cared so much about Sunny and telling her that she loves her.
"Yes."
Lumapit siya sa akin. He look at my eyes straightly. Wala akong ibang nakita kundi galit lang. Sobrang laming ng kaniyang titig sa akin that I'm going to freeze because of that.
"Don't lie, April. You said that I'm the father. Tell me honestly. Honestly!" he said in a savage anger. "Who's the fucking father of your child?!"
Napaigtad ako. Umurong ulit ang dila ko. I gulped at pilit huwag magpadala sa lamig at galit niya. Malamang ay galit na galit siya ngayon dahil sa sinabi ko. Baka naglamat iyon at alam niyang magagalit si Sunny sa kaniya.
"I already told a while ago that's it's you. Your the fathe-"
He punch the wall beside me with full force that I think it will bleed his knuckles. Napaigtad ako dahil sa lakas ng kaniyang suntok.
"That's bullshit! That's really, bullshit! That's really fucking bullshit!"
I gulped as I watch him cursing hardly. Lumayo sa akin at tumalikod. He punch the wall near him remain looking at the wall. Pumikit ako ng mariin dahil sa sobrang kaba.
I didn't expect that he will harshly react like this. Dumilat ako at nakitang nagpupuyos siya sa galit. It was very evident on his eyes. And the way he breath harsly as his abdomen move up and down.
Tumiim ang labi niya.
"Who's the fucking bastard that impregnate you! Fucking tell me and I'll fucking kill him!"
He lick his lower lip and massage his temple. Tumalikod ulit siya at sinuntol ang wall frame. The glass fragments shattered on the floor.
He looks like a mad man that can't be tame right now. Sa galit niya ay natatakot akong lumait dahil baka akong masuntok.
Trying to build my confident, and not shaken with his action, I cleared my throat and stand confidently.
"Kill yourself then. I told you that you're the father yet you don't believe me!"
Galit niya akong hinarap. Hindi parin nababawasin ang galit niya. Tingin ko ay mas lumalala lang.
"How can I fucking believe you?! Tell me, hmmm? How can I be if we didn't have sex?!"
Tinawanan ko siya.
"Oh, you forget that you fuck the eighteen year old me? Hmm? Dahil ba isang beses lang ay nakalimutan muna?" I mock.
"I didn't fuck you that time, we made-," he clench his jaw and didn't finish his sentence. "And that was years ago!"
"Maybe your sperms are fucking weak that it take five years to meet my eggs!"
"Don't be sarcastic!"
I flipped my hair and rolled my eyes at him. Ewan ko ba at nagagalit na rin ako sa kaniya. I suddenly get annoyed.
"If you don't believe me then don't! Maybe I will the fucking look the father that you're talking about and let him be the father then!"
Galit akong tumalikod sa kaniya. Huh! Anong akala niya, I will beg him to act as the father of my imaginary child! As if! I'm just ruining the wedding. That's my only goal.
Hindi pa man ako nakarating sa pintuan ay marahas niyang hinablot ang kamay ko.
"Did I fucking said that you can go out? I'm not letting you go this time."
I tried to remove my hands from his grip but it's no use. My hand looks fragile because of his strong and hard hands. I can't even believe that he got taller. Syempre tumaas rin naman ako. Hanggang baba niya nga lang.
He still tower me, and I don't like it. I feel like a little girl trying to obey her master. Like he have power over me. His more fit and looks stronger. He don't look scary, he just looks hot. I rolled my eyes to stop complementing him.
I push his chest.
"You can't accept that I have a child with you! What do you expect, I'll beg you to accept us? Im just informing you that I'm impregant! Yet, you get mad at me! Hindi mo kami tanggap ng anak mo!"
He clench his jaw and close his tightly. He massage the bridge of his nose. Now, he looks mad and problematic.
I keep rolling my eyes to stop checking him out.
"You're not allowed to leave my condo. You can rest and I will cool myself down." Tumalikod siya sa akin.
I didn't protest since I'm a bit tired. Ang haba kaya ng byahe. I just rest peacefully and stop thinking what happened today. Kakarating ko lang at stressed na kaagad. Ako na ang naghanap ng kwarto.
I take a bath when I woke up.
When I go out from the bathroom, I realized that I'm not in the U.S anymore. I'm in Raven's place here in Cebu! Ang mga gamit ko ay nasa hotel pa! June booked it online and I just go there to put my things.
Lalamigin ako kung itong bathrobe lang ang susuotin ko. I go out and open a door. It's his closet! Hindi na ako nag-inarte pa at kumuha ng damit niya. I choose a black plain shirt and a boxer. Mabuti nalang at kasya sa akin.
"Where is he?" I pouted as I go out.
It's already night. Dim ang light ng buong condo. Isang floor lang ngunit malaki. I didn't expect that he have a condo here in Cebu.
Malinis na ang sahig at wala na ang bubog ng nabasag na frame. Fuck, he was so angry a while ago na nakapagbasag siya ng gamit.
Hindi ko na 'yon inisip pa. I'm thinking about my things left in the hotel. At nagugutom narin ako. Maybe I should just order food online?
Medyo nauhaw ako kaya hinanap ko kung saan ang kusina niya. Dumiretso ako sa parte kung saan may ilaw. Nakita ko si Raven na nagluluto nang pumasok ako. Tumingin siya sa gawi ko ngunit nag-iwas din agad ng tingin at nagpatuloy sa ginagawa.
"I want to drink water..." I said while looking at him. Wala kasi akong nakitang despenser. And I want to know if he will talk to me.
He off the stove and walk on the right part of the kitchen. May binuksan siyang cabinet, kung nasaan ang ref at nagsalin ng tubig.
"Here," he put the glass of water on the table. Lumapit ako at kinuha.
We're both silent.
Kaaaway lang namin kanina. I thought that he will not talk to me or he will not calm down. I thought that he will not cool down until tommorow. Sa galit ba naman niya. I've never seen him like that. He was mad, furious and violent.
Sa sobrang galit niya nga ay sa tingin ko ay masasaktan niya ako. Kung ako siguro ang nasa posisyon niya at ganun kagalit, siguro ay hindi rin ako makakapagtimpi.
"I'll help you..." it was whisper. He's already preparing the table.
"Get the plates and utensils," he pointed the cabinet above.
Tahimik parin kaming dalawa ng nagsimula na kaming kumain. I'm looking at him and cannot focus on eating.
He caught me looking at him. He sitted properly and cleared his throat.
"You're coming with me in the island tommorow," malamig niyang sinabi.
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi. "Huh?"
Naguguluhan ako.
"On the Island of Sin. You said that you're pregnant and I'm the father, right?" he look at me and waited to agree what he said.
I pouted and slowly nodded. I don't know what's running inside his mind and he's acting like this. Is it good or bad? Hmmm...
"Uhmmm... I will be living with you?"
"You will come and live with me. It's my responsibility to take care the mother and the baby."
Fuck! Bakit biglang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin?
____________
DONNY ACE