'( • ○○ • ' ) Little pig missed you. Little pig says hi
Little pig hopes you drank wataa today!
Two Weeks Later
Charlie sat down on her bed. The blue suitcase sat in front of her, barely full. She couldn't bring herself to fill it up any more.
Packing the suitcase meant she would actually be going to meet everyone. Going to meet everyone meant them learning she was a girl. And that, in her mind, meant that she would most likely lose her friends.
She had known most of these people for around a year now. She knew Dream, George, and Sapnap for almost four years now. Would it all go to waste? All those memories, all the hardwork she put into her channel and the community she had helped build?
Would she even get the chance to explain? These were the people she depended on daily. She could talk to them about her problems. She could relax around them. She could geek out about the small things she loved without fear of being judged.
The only other person she could do that with was her grandfather but she only saw him once a week. And he most likely wouldn't understand the problems she faced as a teenage girl in this modern world based on social media and appearances.
She couldn't even properly make friends with people her age in school. Her online friends were the only ones she had. But that didn't matter because they were always there for her.
No. They were always there for 'him'.
For CazCantStop.
Her proudest acheivement in life.
And the one she hated the most.
Because although CazCantStop was her. 'He' also wasn't.
Its easy to pretend you are someone else online. And that's what she presented to her viewers. To the fanbase. To anyone who had ever heard the name CazCantStop.
But off stream, the little moments where she would geek out over some code or when she couldn't sleep, which was quite often due to her insomnia, were the moments she wasn't putting on a persona.
Those were the moments when she was just Charlie. The moments when they called her Charlie and not Caz for the viewers who still didn't know her real name.
But even when she was showing her true personality, she wasn't showing it in full. Because she was a girl.
She could already imagine how they would react. There would be a couple moments of silence as they all surrounded her in a shocked silence.
Then they would start questioning why she never told them. They would accuse her of using them.
Then they would get angry. Calling her fake and telling her that they hated her.
Then they would realize. Why she hadn't trusted a single one of them enough to show a single part of her body, even just a hand. They would realize she only ever called on discord.
Sure, they had her number. But she only ever texted them with it.
Then they would be hurt. Because she didn't tell them. Not a single one of them. They would think Charlie didn't truly trust any of them.
They would tell her to leave. That they needed time to think about how much she had lied and hidden from them. But slowly they would forget about her. They would move on without her. And they would be happier.
She would watch as they made more memories and had fun without her. Because she could never forget about them, but they would forget about her. The little girl too scared to trust her closest friends.
Knock knock
The small taps on her doorframe pulled Charlie out of the depths of her mind. Her mother stood there smiling at her.
Her mother had no idea the dilemma her daughter was facing. Charlie had requested her parents not watch her content as it made her uncomfortable. She didn't know how they would react to her pretending she was a boy online. To all her friends. Lying to them.
Her mother simply reminded Charlie she needed to finish packing and head to bed early so she could get up early to catch her flight to America.
She rubbed the small scar of her jaw and cracked her knuckles before pulling herself over to her computer.
Techno said she was welcome to call him if she needed right? They had dealt with each others anxiety before. So why was she so hesitant to call him now?
She didn't know if she was ready to admit that she wanted to tell Techno the truth. He was a very straight foward guy so she figured his reaction would decide whether or not she got on the plane tomorrow.
So, was she ready to tell someone? He would be the first out of anyone to know.
She clicked the call button.
Her hands shook a little and all her focus zoned it on the sound from her headphones.
Ring
Was her voice changer on?
Ring
How would she do this?
Ring
Was he even awake? She should have checked the time.
Ring
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried her best to force herself to stay as calm as she could.
Boop
"Hullooo."
Her eyes popped open. He had accepted the call. What did she do now?
Start simple Charlie, start simple.
"Hey, Techno. What are you up to?"
Charlie let out a breath she was holding in. Start simple and work her way up.
"Just grinding on the SMP. You never know when you need to kill some orphans."
A laugh bursted out of Charlie's chest. Things were going well so far. Well, of course they were, she hadn't even brought anything up yet. Were these going to be the last moments of a normal friendship between them?
They sat in silence for a good fifteen minutes. They both were incredibly awkward, especially when it came to interacting with other people. So it was no suprise that they were both fine with just sitting in silence moments after joining a call together.
It was one of her favorite things about her relationship with Techno, they were so similar that they just understood each other without trying.
They shared the same sleeping problems. Anxiety. Social awkwardness. Sense of humor. Joy of reading. Pvp. Potatoes.
So even though she knew the rest of the Dream Team for way longer. There was something about her relationship with Technoblade that she didn't have with many others.
Dream was almost the same, but there were differences. Similar, but special in their own way.
George was funny and nice and they could rely on each other. She even helped him with matching the colors of his clothes if it was important.
Sapnap was also always nice to her and he was closest to her in age and they had a lot if inside jokes.
She considered all of them to be her best friends, along with the other minors, but they couldn't understand her as well as Technoblade could when it came to just anxiety and social situations.
She looked up from where she was messing with her fingers. She used to have a habit of picking at the skin around her nails but she somehow was able to break it. Now she just bent them oddly and cracked her knuckles a lot.
The discord call was open with Technoblades little icon in the center of her screen. On her other monitor was the program running her voice changer. It was still running but in a few moments she would turn it off for the first time while talking to one of her friends.
"Hey Techno?"
He hummed in response. In the back of her mind she knew that a future her would probably laugh at how he didn't know what was coming his way.
"You know how we're all meeting up tomorrow, right? Well, I figured it would probably be best if someone would actually be able to recognize me at the airport or wherever we're meeting up."
She took in a deep breath, trying to psych herself up enough to go through with her plan.
Just simple steps, right? Show Techno and at least one person will be able to be there for her when everyone else starts to hate her.
Unless he would hate her too.
He probably would hate her.
She wouldn't blame him if he did.
"Only if you think you're ready, Char. I am all for it, because I can use this as bragging rights for more clout."
The deep breathe Charlie was holding in came out suddenly and quickly as a few airy chuckles followed.
Her hands shook really hard so she grasped them tightly. She made sure not to repeat her panic attack from the other week where she dug her nails into her skin.
She lifted her hand up and placed it onto her mouse. She didn't want to say anything else so she just went for it.
'( • ○○ • ' )
Little piggy loves you all!
Mwah <3
1518 words
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Little pig now has to say goodbye
'( • ○○ • ' )