Warning: SPG content.
Alcohol makes people do stupid things.
I should've known better.
Parang binibiyak ang ulo ko nang magising. I sucked in a deep breath and moved slowly. The muted grey ceiling welcomed my vision. Alam ko na agad na wala ako sa kwarto ko. My room has a white ceiling, stained by the leaks that my landlord continues to ignore each time I complain about it.
"Shit." I got up and massaged my temples. I'm no longer wearing my shoes, and for some reason, my feet are sore. Iwinaksi ko ang comforter na nakabalot sa akin at nakitang may bandage ang dalawa kong paa. I sighed once again and for the first time, I heard the shower running.
My gaze ran to the closed restroom. Napalunok ako. Rigor is still showering. I should leave, now. I still don't want to face him yet after what I've done. Hiyang-hiya ako sa kaniya. Sinigaw-sigawan ko pa ang lalaki pero tama din naman pala siya.
Again, I should've known better.
Kaagad akong tumayo kahit na kada kilos ko ay parang may nagd-drill sa bungo ko. Inignora ko ang sakit at pilit na hinanap ang mga sapatos ko. When I got them, I grabbed my bag and headed to the door. I winced when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Para akong bruha.
Streaks of mascara streamed down my face. My hair is a mess. My clothes are wrinkled and I must smell like shit. Sobra pa ata sa pagiging amoy-tsiko. Desperation worked its way in my body as I grabbed for the doorknob.
"Going somewhere, cherié?"
I instantly froze when I heard his voice. Nanatili lang ang kamay kong nakabalot sa doorknob nang hindi gumagalaw. I heard footsteps, then his alluring smell hung thicker in the air as he went near me.
Napapikit ako. Goddamn it.
Dahan-dahan kong binitawan ang doorknob. I gathered a lot of air into my lungs, hoping it would bring me courage, then sighed before facing him.
He's half-naked. The grey drawstring sweatpants are ridiculously hanging low in his hips, revealing a well-defined V that disappeared in the bands. My gaze went up to his stomach, and the tight ridges of muscles that hinted a lot of painful hours in the gym. Even his muscles and biceps are very well-defined. The veins in his arms look like it's about to pop when he's just doing minimal effort, like drying his hair with the white towel.
"Good morning..." my voice sounded so cloudy inside my own head.
"Where are you going?" he asked seriously. May dumaloy na tubig mula sa buhok niya patungo sa noo. I watched it in silence. Rigor gave his damp hair one last rub and then hang the towel in his broad shoulder blade.
"I was... um..." I stammered. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa bag at sapatos ko. I suddenly wanted to throw it away. Pakiramdam ko may mabigat na krimen akong ginawa.
"Tatakasan mo na naman ako?" he sighed.
"Hindi, ah!" depensa ko kaagad. Nang sumingkit ang mga mata niya sa akin ay awkward akong tumawa at agad na nag-iwas ng tingin. "Um..."
"You should eat something, and take something for your headache." He murmured before going inside the restroom. Kaagad akong kumaripas sa salamin at dinukot sa bag ang isang panyo. I desperately wiped off my makeup and fixed my hair with the remaining time.
When he stepped out, he already has a white shirt and the towel is gone. Medyo namamasa pa rin ang buhok niya. Ako naman ay inaayos pa ang kusot sa damit ko.
"Here." I noticed that he also grabbed some clothes while he was inside. Kumunot ang noo ko. "Change your clothes, Czarina. You must be uncomfortable in that dress."
I nodded gratefully and put down my bag before going to the restroom. Paika-ika pa ako sa paglalakad kasi nga masakit pa rin ang mga paa ko. I changed into his shirt, and then tied it on my stomach because it's too big. The shorts he gave me are also big as well. I had to tie the drawstrings around my waist twice to make sure it won't budge when I'm moving.
I also decided to check on my feet after washing my face. Sitting down in the toilet, I carefully removed the gauze and winced when I saw the deep cuts of wound that sliced across the soles of my feet. I washed it as well and wrapped a new bandage around it. I heard a knock.
"Czarina?"
"I'm okay!" I yelled from the inside because I could hear the worry in his voice.
"Okay, just checking. Lapitin ka pa naman ng gulo."
I shook my head and then continued with my business until I was ready. I couldn't tame my hair so I just put it in a messy bun and finally stepped out of the room. Nagulat ako nang makitang may pagkain na sa side table. He must've called one of the helpers to bring food to us while I was in the restroom.
"You didn't have to-"
"The rest of the family doesn't know you're here." He said, gesturing to the tray of food and the chair he snatched from his study table. "Dito ka nalang muna kumain kung hindi ka komportable."
I nodded gratefully once again and went to the side table. There were eggs, bacon, and fried rice. May tubig din at gamot. I popped the pill into my mouth and washed it down with water before digging in. Rigor is half-laying in his bed, his feet are dangling in the edge while his hands are holding the phone above of his head.
"You can get mad at me, you know?" I chewed slowly, and watched him carefully through my hooded lashes.
"Why would I get mad?"
I gave him a sleepy, sultry laugh. "Stop treating me like a baby. I know I've made a mistake."
"But you are."
I blinked, then my cheeks reddened. Nginuya ko muna ang pagkain bago siya sinagot.
"I'm a baby... or I made a mistake?" I whispered.
He finally removed the phone from his face and lifted half of his body with his elbows. Rigor's brows lifted in amusement.
"What do you think?"
Inirapan ko ang lalaki at nagpatuloy sa pag-kain. Bumalik naman siya sa pagce-cellphone niya. I finished all my food and cleaned the side table. Aakto pa sana akong bababa para iligpit ang pinagkainan pero pinigilan niya ako. He pressed an intercom and asked one of the helpers to come up and get the dirty plates. Minutes later, we heard a knock on the door.
Rigor threw his phone to the bed and got up, bringing the tray. The young housemaid appeared in my line of vision. She automatically blushed upon seeing Rigor, and then averted his gaze.
"Thanks." he said lazily, handing him the tray.
She just nodded quietly and bit her lower lip. "Pinapatawag nga po pala kayo ni Ma'am Silver."
"Tell her I'm busy." He said in a monotone. "And to not disturb me for the rest of the day."
This time, the two of us reddened with his careless use of words. Natatarantang tumango ang kasambahay at agad na umalis. Rigor shut the door and locked it, before looking at me while I'm sitting on the bed.
"Not disturb you, huh?" I chuckled nervously and then swallowed. Last time I check, I was desperate to leave his room but now I am glued to his bed.
He nodded silently, and then dropped to the chair. "Mag-usap tayo."
Finally.
I nodded in return and sat properly. I know he's going to scold at me for what I've done, and I deserve it. siguro kagabi pa niya kinikimkim ito mula nang makita niya akong lasing at halos wala na sa wisyo.
Alright then. I gathered air in my lungs and looked at him straight in the eyes.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." I lowered my head in shame. "You were right. Sorcha's really... doing drugs." It was barely a whisper, and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
He didn't say anything for a moment. He looks like he's deep in thoughts, processing my words and finding the right words to say. I'd expect him to gloat, to raise a brow and say 'I told you so' but he didn't. Instead, he nodded in understanding.
"Just don't get me worried again... drinking like a that."
Relief spread throughout my chest, and cattiness took over. I smirked at him.
"Bakit? Bawal na ba akong uminom?"
He stood and, in a flash, he was pinning me down to bed. My eyes widened, and it was his turn to smirk.
"Kung hindi mo naman ako aayain, para san pa?"
I sighed with my entire body upon hearing his raspy voice. Shaking my head with a laugh, I pressed both palms against his chest to push him off.
"I should get home, Rigor. May klase pa ako bukas."
"I'll drive you."
I shrugged and grabbed my things while Rigor went to his drawer to get his car keys. An eerie silence occupied the two of us. I'm staring at him, and I feel hot. We've been alone together so many times but this time, I feel an irrational tug towards him.
"Rigor..."
He turned to me with a raised eyebrow. I didn't say anything. I just stared at him.
"Goddamn it," I muttered under my breath as I dropped my bag to the floor and walked towards him. Naguguluhan niya akong tiningnan. I immediately wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him closer to me till our mouths crashed.
I gasped, then I pulled, and he devoured. I didn't even feel him protest as his keys dropped to the floor and his tongue entered my mouth. His hands were placed on my waist as he gently guided me to bed.
Words, French phrases, that were low with desire and lust, spilled from his mouth. I trembled as his hand slid up my shirt and pressed against my stomach. My toes curled when it went higher, and my knees folded when his fingers trailed the thin straps of my bra.
I expected gentleness, but it was nowhere to be found. Not when the two of us are acting like wild beasts in loose. Not when my body is melting towards him. He murmured once again, and then swiftly lifted my shirt off as it dropped to the floor, together with his shirt. My hands hungrily explored his chest, touching every ridge, feeling every muscle, and marking every spine. I heard him sucked in a deep breath, and it made me feel beautiful to know that such a man is affected by my touch.
My eyes were clouded with desire, and I was lost when I looked up and his eyes were mirroring mine. We stared into each other for a while, our hands roaming against each other's body, leaving our skins hot to touch as we savaged.
His hands left my breast and moves lower as my back arches off his bed. I shut my eyes and bit my lower lip when I felt his fingers pressing against the material of the only fabric covering my body.
"God, Czarina. You're so wet." He murmured in my ears. By then, I was overwhelmed with the sensation that his expert fingers are creating, getting drunk once again with his voice as he tugged my panties down and it joined the rest of our clothes on the floor.
"Rigor..." I gasped when he slid two of his fingers inside, and the rest of the words were stuck in my throat when he started moving. I fisted the bed sheets, trying to hard not to squirm. Rigor planted a soft kiss on my lips before he moved further down.
"Oh my God..." I gasped when I felt his tongue, and it took all my willpower not to scream his name when wave after wave of sensation entered my body. I wrapped my legs around his neck and bit my lower lip so hard I thought it would bleed. His mouth is so possessive, even when down there.
He held me still when I squirmed and devoured. He took and I gave. I whimpered and he grunted. Some of his words lingered heavily in the air and spun my head.
My stomach twisted and I begged him when I felt myself exploding but he listens to no pleas. His eyes were a shade darker as I came, my entire body trembling while he's still doing his business down there. I was digging my fingernails into his shoulders as my legs weakened around him.
"You're so hot..." a boyish grin appeared on his lips as he crawled back to me. My entire cheeks flamed and I looked away in embarrassment. I just came on him. And he left no trace of it.
Rigor kissed my cheek and pressed his forehead against mine while his other hand is busy discarding his sweatpants. When the rest of him were off, I gasped softly.
Oh my Lord...
He's so...
"Tell me if it hurts." He murmured to my ears as he positioned and gently wrap my legs around his hips. My heart is thumping hard inside my chest. I could barely breathe but I kept my gaze on his as he entered. My face twists into a mixture of pain and pleasure, and I felt him hesitate.
"Czarina?"
I sucked in a deep breath. "Just... just do it." I pleaded.
Rigor lowered his mouth on mine and a cry broke in my throat as the rest of him entered. My legs are suddenly numb, my inner thighs on fire. A tear fell from my eye but his mouth is keeping me distracted from the pain. He planted one more kiss before pulling away and letting me adjust to his length.
"I'm sorry, baby." He said in a whisper, kissing away my tears. I shook my head and moved my hips to meet him, desperate to take away the pain.
"Czarina!" he hissed.
Kinuha ko ang kamay niya at hinawakan nang mahigpit, saka nagmamakaawang tumingin sa kaniya. His lips thinned but his eyes were understanding. He kissed me again before he started moving.
"Oh, God..." I threw my head back as pleasure surged throughout my body. With a grunt of need, Rigor fastened his pace as his hands tightened over mine. I couldn't hear myself think. Everything was lost. I was just blinding with the flooding colors of passion, desire, and lust.
"Fuck, Czarina!" he was panting as he buried his face on my neck and rammed harder, I thought I was going to break. My body trembled, unresisting. I could feel his demand in every thrust, every whisper, and every time our eyes meet.
My hips moved on its own, meeting him in every thrust but he instantly stopped and gripped my waist.
"No." he growled. "You're going to make me come early..." he was almost pleading. Rigor kissed me again but his authoritative hand remained on my hips as he picked up his pace again and rendered me his prisoner.
When he slams into me once again, I screamed his name. his hand automatically went to my mouth in an attempt to muffle my noises. He swiftly repeats his movements while I swallow back all the moans that are desperate to leave my mouth.
I was struggling for sanity while Rigor took the liberty of driving me crazy. My hands, waist, stomach, and chest are all burning for his touch. My stomach twists again as I felt myself exploding for the second time. Rigor's took me in a near-violent rage as if he couldn't get enough and doesn't want it to end, then came a halt, and a series of profanities.
His lips found mine as I exploded, and so was he. I felt warmer inside as his entire body tensed. Rigor grunts, and then surrendered into me. He was panting as he collapsed next to me.
We were silent for a few minutes, as I struggled to catch my breath. Swallowing, I turned to him only to find Rigor staring into me. He presses another kiss to my cheeks.
"Cherié," his voice was hoarse, low, and full of pleading. "Cherié, I love you..."
The tears I was holding back earlier finally streamed down my face as I reached for his cheeks. Next, I know, my shoulder broke into fits of sobs as he gathered me in his arms.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
I buried my face in his chest, completely embarrassed while he protectively wraps his arms around me. I still couldn't stop myself from crying.
"Czarina, fuck. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-"
"I-I'm sorry..." I said between sobs. "I just... I fucking love you too..."
He cups my face and forces me to look into his eyes even when my vision is filled with tears.
"Ssh..." he kisses me softly again in assurance. I slowly calmed down as he gathered me close to him without any intention of letting me go.
Pagkatapos nang ilang minuto ay kumalma na din ako. Rigor reached for the blanket to cover my body without letting go of me. he keeps whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I closed my burning eyes and my heart ached once again.
I doubt he'll still love me if I disappear on him.
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#HanmariamBFLChap21