And heeeeeere is another update, beauties! :) This chapter isn't necessarily as eventful as others have been and I've been really hesitant to post because I don't know if I'm 100% happy with it, so I just decided to screw it and YOLO. Shit goes downnnn in the next chapter, though, which will be up in a few days, so watch this space for that! Have another picture of gorgeous Griffin (Roo Panes) to the side, too, because his smile could light up a town :P Hope you enjoy, and I would love to know what you think! Lots of love, River. (Dedicated to Anjali, for being Laina's soul sister :P)
5: The Gangster Delusion
Sleep was being an evasive little bitch.
It was half-past two in the morning (or late night, depending on which way you wanted to look at it), and I was lying flat on my back, staring up at the eerie shadows on the ceiling. I was still reeling after work.
It was safe to say that my conversation with Griffin had completely ruined my day beyond repair. My teeth had been gritted for more hours than not, my jaw aching because I had spent several hours going about my daily activities with it stiff and angry and unable to make my expression neutral or anything that didn't resemble a scowl. Even Emilie shot me slightly frightened looks over the course of the afternoon from her desk.
And now still, my mind was whirring, burning with questions that I didn't even particularly want an answer to. I couldn't stop thinking about what an icy bitch he had been to me, although at the same time, I was aware of the fact that I kind of deserved it for being the one to snap at him first.
But still, the wanker. What a wanker! An audacious wanker, at that. A complete tosser, which I supposed was a bit ironic, considering I had been the one tossing and turning for four hours, unable to drift off to sleep because my brain was wide-awake and going round in circles.
Lewis hadn't come over this evening, either, driving down to his mum's in Dorset for her fiftieth birthday, which was probably another reason I could attribute to my lack of tiredness. I had been trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in for so long that my sheets were tangled up in a mess with my legs, but I didn't have the energy to untangle myself from them even though I was feeling a bit too hot, too tired from lack of sleep.
I was still grateful we had reached the weekend though, because I wouldn't have been able to get out of bed and go to work without at least six hours of sleep if it was a weekday, although I was meant to be going out for a coffee and lunch with Freya later today.
How dare Griffin act so high and mighty when he hadn't acted particularly professional during many of our conversations, either? He created double standards when it suited him, and that was what riled me up the most.
In that first staff meeting, he'd been whispering in my ear and giving me stupid nicknames, equally as guilty as I was of unprofessionalism.
It was also partly the shock of him saying something like that which irked me. When I had been working at Light My Match, everything about it had been so relaxed and casual: we'd all be cracking jokes constantly, so much so that going to work every morning felt like I was on my way to hang out with friends instead of going somewhere I was paid to be.
It was funny how the banter-hating prick (although I supposed that I hadn't been particularly banterous) had so easily made me never want to turn up to work again. I should have just stayed at my old job.
My hand twitched, itching to slap him. Instead, I had to settle for turning onto my side and tucking my hand under my own right cheek, glaring into the darkness angrily even though it was straining my eyes.
I wondered if I could hire some sort of gangster to punch Griffin in the face on his way to work on Monday. Not to kill him. Just maim or seriously injure, maybe. That would be quite satisfying.
And now I was thinking of Dobby the effing house-elf (RIP) and my vision was beginning to blur. What the hell was happening? Was I going blind?
Oh. There were tears welling up in my eyes. Somehow, thinking about house-elves had made me think about House the TV show with the love of my life Hugh Laurie, and its crazy ending that had made me feel like I was both alive and dead and still dying. Maybe House was the reason I had issues.
Huffing, I sat up and swiped a hand across my eyes to get rid of the moisture that was rapidly collecting there. I must have been PMSing, because I wasn't usually a crier of any kind. I hadn't full-on sobbed in years, but it suddenly felt as though the gates which stopped tears from ripping out of me on a daily basis were about to burst open. Because of fictional characters, no less.
Reaching my hand over to my bedside table, I figured that if I wasn't going to fall asleep, I may as well just play some Angry Birds to pass some time. I patted around in the dark until I found my phone, grabbing it before flopping down on my back again, holding my phone up in the air. I squinted at the screen in the unexpected light it emitted when a notification for Facebook popped up abruptly.
Curiously, I pressed on the app to open it up, surprised to see a little red number one by the person icon when it loaded on the screen.
Griffin Davis has sent you a friend request.
Accept or Ignore?
He had to be joking.
'You're no friend of mine, you dick,' I mumbled at the screen and a tiny little version of his face, still blinking as my eyes tried to adjust to the white light.
His profile photo was even in black and white, the pretentious loser! Who did he think he was?
My thumb hovered over the Ignore button, before I realised how immature it would have made me to reject the stupid friend request. I wasn't twelve years old; I was a grown bloody woman (thinking of myself as a woman was another thing which was freaking weird) who wasn't going to do something as petty as that.
Without letting myself think about it a second longer, I hit the Accept button, locking my phone immediately and shoving it under my pillow like a secret.
Breathing hard, I practically jumped out of my skin when my phone simultaneously vibrated and made a pinging noise as another notification arrived, ringing out in the silence of my bedroom and scaring the crap out of me.
Griffin: Sorry.
My eyes practically bulged out of their sockets when my brain registered that Griffin had just sent me an IM. What was he doing awake at this hour, anyway? Probably shagging Corinne or out in a club somewhere. I could just imagine him being one of those multi-tasking guys, thrusting and texting at the same time, I thought viciously.
I could just ignore the message.
Yeah. That was what I would do.
Five minutes of playing Angry Birds later, my phone buzzed again.
Griffin: I hope you know that I know you've seen that apology - read receipts are a thing now. It wasn't a rhetorical sorry, you know. I was hoping for an 'apology accepted' message in reply.
Oh jeez.
Laina: There's too much use of the word "know" in your last message that my tiny and unprofessional brain can't decipher what professional memo you're trying to get across. Soz.
Griffin: LOL
Griffin is typing...
I waited with my breath held.
Griffin: C'mon Laina, you know you were being as much of a pain in the ass as I was.
Laina: You made me uncomfortable, so I didn't know how else to react!
Thinking quickly, I decided screw it, I was going to pull the lesbian card again.
Laina: I'm not embarrassed of my sexuality, but for you to make suggestive comments about me being attracted to you just made me freak out a bit. It's nerve-wracking enough starting a new job without having to worry about certain aspects of me being questioned.
I supposed none of that was a lie.
Griffin: I know, I'm sorry.
Laina: Yeah, yeah.
Griffin: I am, you nutter. Accept my apology so we can be friends again.
Laina: Mhmm. Imagine me making a noncommittal noise right about now in response. And friends AGAIN? When were we ever friends in the first place, you deluded man?
I was smiling now: I couldn't stop myself. Damn it, I was weak.
Griffin: Oi, don't hurt my feelings. But I'll take the noncommittal noise as committal, BUDDY.
There was a small pause in conversation, and then:
Griffin: Nice profile picture, by the way. :P Didn't know you were a piece of seaweed in a previous life.
I felt my brow furrow for a second, not getting his meaning and subsequently going to my own profile to understand. It quickly dawned on me that in my profile picture, I still had teal hair. It was a photo that Freya had taken of me last summer in Hyde Park, ice cream in hand, tongue pointing out and ready to take a lick.
Laina: Stop stalking my pictures, loser.
Griffin: I'm gonna get you done for verbal abuse/bullying in the workplace :'( (But seriously - loving the green.)
Laina: Sure you are. Also, why aren't you asleep yet? (And thanks, I miss the green, but I figured brown would make me look a bit more PROFESSIONAL - hahahahahaha)
Griffin: Couldn't sleep - too busy thinking about our grim conversation at lunch. Why aren't you? (And bitch pls, your "professional" remarks are killing me X_X)
I blinked, heart softening at the fact we were seemingly, in many ways, very similar.
Laina: Exactly the same reason, I guess. I don't like leaving things on a sour note. (And what if I want you dead ;)?)
I thought twice before sending the ;) face, the universal sign of being flirty-flirty.
Griffin: Friends, then? (And don't lie GG ;) You know you love me xoxo gossip girl)
Griffin: :D
Laina: Fine, but only because I can't resist the :D emoticon. (I'm the one being killed now, by your Gossip Girl obsession!)
Griffin: :D :D :D :D
Laina: Goodnight, Griffin. (I'm sorry too, just FYI. I guess I overreacted.)
Griffin: Night. (And it's cool, apology accepted.)
I felt a smile tug at the corner of my lips as I turned off my phone and set it aside, out like a light as soon as my head hit the pillow.
*
I was woken up by the sound of my doorbell ringing continuously, wincing at the noise, covering my ears with my hands before realising that I would have to answer the door to stop the ringing.
Dragging myself out of bed, I unlocked the front door, seeing a very disgruntled-looking Freya standing there with her hands on her hips, looking surprisingly scary despite her petite frame and soft features.
'Lady, where has your arse been? I waited for a full half an hour for you in Starbucks! Why isn't your phone on?' She waved hers in my face to make a point. 'I was terrified that you had died in your sleep or something!'
'My arse has been in bed,' I said, stifling a yawn. 'Besides, I thought we weren't meeting until one - oh.' A glance at the owl clock on the wall let me know that it was two o'clock in the afternoon, meaning that I had slept almost a full twelve hours.
Shit. I hated sleeping in late, feeling that I was wasting hours which could have been spent doing something far more productive.
'On the bright side, I'm not dead like you feared!' I said to Freya, who thrust two coffees into my hands and folded her arms across her chest sternly as she stepped inside.
'Are you ill? You never sleep in late,' she said, her brow furrowing, stopping her pulling off of the peach-coloured cardigan she wore, pale blue sundress underneath.
I wrinkled my nose. 'No, you crazy cat lady - of course I'm not ill! I just didn't sleep until late last night,' I explained, pushing my hair out of my face. 'I can't believe I overslept so badly though, I'm so sorry, Frey.'
She shook her head, waving her hands airily. 'Ah, don't be, I know you would never intentionally do that. Plus, I could never be so angry with someone who looks like they've been dragged through a bush backwards,' Freya said with a grin, gesturing to my hair that had been destroyed as a result of me tossing and turning for a large part of the night.
I made a face and scooped all of my hair into a top-knot as I made my way to the bathroom saying, 'One sec, I just need to wash up.'
Freya followed me and leant against the doorframe as I brushed my teeth.
'So what's this I hear about you and Lewis sexing it up?' she asked, head cocked to the side so her feathery blonde hair fell over one shoulder.
I looked at her suspiciously. 'Who told you that?' I said through a mouthful of toothpaste.
She tapped her nose, but burst out laughing when I threatened her with my toothbrush, brandishing it in front of her.
'Okay, okay! Benji told Cass, who told me. Why didn't you tell me, woman? I don't see you for two weeks and you become half of an item with somebody.'
'We're not an item,' I protested, rolling my eyes. 'Lewis and I are...we're friends with benefits.'
Freya snorted. 'At whose initiation?'
'Mine. I was gagging for it, Frey,' I groaned, spitting out foamy toothpaste into the sink.
'I think only you could say that and get away with it,' Freya said with a laugh, half in admiration, before inquiring gently, 'but why didn't you just ask him out on a date? Surely that would be the ordinary thing to do?'
I felt my hands stiffen on the faucet for a moment, before I slowly turned it and rinsed out my mouth. 'You know I don't date. Plus, a girl has needs.'
'I think Lewis would love it if you guys did date, though, instead of just keeping it casual. Why wouldn't you want all the perks of a relationship instead of half of them?'
'Has he said anything?' I questioned tentatively, ignoring her question.
Freya shook her head again. 'No, but you can see it in his face, you loon.'
I held up my hands in surrender. 'See what?'
'That he-'
'Actually,' I cut in, clamping a hand over Freya's mouth when I realised that I didn't want to know, 'don't answer that. Some things are best left unsaid. Besides, things are good. We're happy with the way things are. Plus, Lewis is a guy, Frey,' I reasoned. 'He's getting all the mind-blowing sex he wants and doesn't have to do that gross commitment thing that they all hate, which is exactly what all guys want.'
Freya rolled her eyes, unpeeling my hand from her face and rubbing at my palm where her coral lipstick had smudged with her thumb. 'I don't think it's what he wants though,' she said softly.
I pursed my lips. 'Please don't make me over-think our arrangement,' I said, as I drew my hand away from her and let it fall to my side. 'I'm so content right now.'
'Okay, okay, I'll drop it,' Freya said. There were a few seconds of silence as she studied my face like she was trying to suss me out, before finally asking, 'How's work, then?'
'Oh!' I said, suddenly laughing, startling Freya a little bit, but grateful for the change in topic. 'Guess who works with me?'
'Who?'
'Do you remember that guy from the club?' I asked as we left the bathroom and walked into my kitchen, putting some bread in the toaster. 'The one from a couple of weeks ago who needed a fake girlfriend?'
Freya's jaw dropped open. 'You're joking! You work with him?! I thought you told him you were gay, as well?'
'I did, he still thinks I am,' I grinned, leaning against my countertop and laughing in that way you did when you couldn't believe you had actually done something crazy. 'I think he thinks I fancy the girl whose desk is next to mine.'
'How the hell have you managed to pull that off?' Freya exclaimed, her hands up in the air in sheer astonishment. 'What is your life, Laina? Although Verity is going to be in fits when she finds out about all of this - if you won't have him, she definitely will!'
I shrugged and grinned as I silently agreed that Verity would be collapsing with laughter, making a mental note to call her later.
'I must be a better actress than I thought. Just hand me an Oscar right now,' I joked, whipping the OJ out from the fridge and pouring myself a glass.
'I still don't get why you told him you were gay, though, Lai,' Freya took a sip from a coffee cup which she reached over and took from on top of the table.
'Same reason I didn't want to have a relationship beyond a casual one with Lewis,' I said, stabbing a knife into the margarine tub and buttering my toast, glad my back was briefly turned away from Freya so she didn't see the way my mouth pulled down at the corners in a frown I couldn't stop from happening.
'But why are you so against dating someone?' she pressed, edging the conversation back to where she wanted it. 'In all the time I've known you, you've never been on a date or been in a relationship.'
I shrugged again, taking a massive bite of toast and chewing slowly in order to stall before turning back to face her. 'It's just not what I want.'
'Really?' she questioned, unconvinced. 'But there's got to be some reasoning behind it.'
'Nope,' I said, heart sinking. 'Now have some toast and tell me about the whorish happenings at Light My Match, because I'm starving,' I said, shoving a piece in Freya's mouth when she opened her mouth to reply.