Triggers/Warnings: Mention of abuse, domestic abuse, abusive parents, and might feel feelings
lgbt comfort too for sexuality and gender dysphoria but mostly just panic attack helping and being adopted by a good person
You were a simple watcher, you watched the SBI's videos. You found them all comforting. Techno and Wilbur gave off big brother vibes, Tommy and Tubbo little brother vibes, both Techno and Tommy having the chaotic vibes but different types. Tubbo and Wilbur the comfort and tender vibes, though they both can be terrifying when angered. There was also Ranboo, he was like another big brother similar but super different to Wilbur, Wilbur was more chaotic while Ranboo was the one that constantly worried for the health and well being of another. Then there was Philza, or as you called him, Dadza. You didn't have the best home life, your father was abusive and while your mother was there and didn't like your father just as much as you, she wasn't always the best. Especially when it came to emotional stability and help.
You sat in your bed watching a stream that was going on, it was by dadza, he was streaming a chill stream. It was nice, he was playing in a random minecraft world, and responding and talking with chat. You sighed in content, nothing in the world that made you hurt or sad was there at the moment. You though maybe you should donate to him, you knew he would never see it so why not? Boy were you wrong! Now here's another thing about you, you happened to be apart of the lgbtq+ community, now while this was both a hard but amazing thing, the two people called your parents had different opinions, your mother was ok with it, while your father. Well he hated it, he would tell you awful things like you weren't supposed to be the way you are, the life you live will now be horrible, and that you will never find anybody. So when you watched dadza and he said things like he supported those that are lgbtq+ it made you happy. You felt lots of dysphoria sometimes about your gender, and then there was about your sexuality. You always worried if you were faking it, if you were wrong and it was all a lie. Like you logically knew that you most likely weren't faking it but then your other side that's emotional would say otherwise. It would lie and tell you how you were faking and only wanting attention.
You pulled up the stuff to send in a donation, and put into the text box what you wanted to say. You 'knew' that nobody would ever see it so you put in something that was true, that meant a lot to you.
"Heya! I have been watching your streams and such for a while now, actually a good few years. You always have been one of my favourite streamers and are always a comfort streamer to watch, especially after I have been yelled out or something of the sort in the afternoon or before bed. You made life for me easier to live, despite the bullying and the abuse you and your little crew have made it seem worth living for something. It made me even more happier to hear you say trans rights, and that anyone apart of the lgbtq+ community is valid and deserve to be happy. Thanks to that I had the courage to come out to my parents. Though one of them hates me more for it, but that's fine! I just wanted to say thank you, for making things easier even when I am close to quitting sometimes."
I finish up what I was typing, I had a few tears pour thinking about the amount of shit I have gone through; but I smiled glad that I was still here to at least watch the people I lookup to grow. I sent the message through, seeing it go up onto screen, I saw Philza look up at the donations and seemed to have been reading something, must be another donation sense it was a loot of donations he got.
"Thank you for the dono U/N, and I am glad I could make things easier for you. Also hell yea trans rights!" He said and smiled, I was shocked. He actually saw it? I smiled in joy and squealed. Though that was a mistake in came the person that should be my father. He was upset, "Why the fuck are you squealing?!" He said angerly and sternly. He looked over at me that was on my bed watching the stream via my phone, I shook my head, "Nothing dad." I said a bitter taste being left in my mouth when say 'dad' I didn't want to call him dad. He was no father. He was far from one, the type of person a real father would keep away from his kid. I hated being here. I just.. I had to wait, just a bit longer, just a bit longer then I'll be legal and will be able to be in a good home. He huffed and walked off but before he was fully gone he stopped and looked over at me, "Make sure the dishes are done before I am back and don't let the clothes get wrinkly, and do your other chores too. Or else your stuff will be taken away." He said and walked off. I nodded and sighed, I got up and made sure I was in a good pair of clothes that would be easier to move around in, turned the bluetooth on my headsets on and proceeded downstairs.
I started by doing the dishes and getting stuff put away and cleaned. Once I was done with the kitchen I went onto the dining and the living room making sure everything was cleaned. I swept the floors then steamed them. I then continued to do other things like just making sure it wasn't an entire mess. Its very rare for when I steam clean the floor, it takes a lot and it gets hot horribly easily.
Continuing to do all of this I get hungry, so I go to make me some noodles. After I finish, I realize the the stream had finished. I opened up my socials going onto twitter and look at some stuff while eating my noodles in the living room. I soon saw a clip on dadza saying trans rights after I had donated and he had read it. I smiled and was glad that he was so kind. It made me happy that not all people were bad. I then got a notification, I opened it up and it went straight to my dms on twitter. My username being the same on my twitch account, so if anyone was wondering the person dadza responded too it was kinda easy to find. I look at it and drop my phone, the person that had contacted me was none other than dadz-PHILZA IT WAS FUCKIN PHILZA JUST- WHAT?!
He contacted you saying a few things.
Philza Minecraft
Philza: Hey, I saw your donation. I just wanna say I am glad that I could make your life easier, but you did say something that sparked my concern. You talked about abuse, and bullying and being hated for who you are. I want to check in with you to see how you are right now, nobody should ever have to go through any of that stuff.
You teared up but shook it away. You never thought that this would happen. So you wrote a reply back.
U/N: Ah, hi um yea. I did say that, because I have gone and have been going through it. Thanks for saying that and I am fine as of this moment. I mean other than the slight shock to have somebody reach out let alone somebody I don't know and only looked up to.
You sent it rereading for any grammatical errors but saw how rude it kinda sounded, you panicked and tried to fix it.
U/S: I mean not in a rude way, it's just surprising. Or um-sorry I am not used to talking to another person.
You then left you phone and went to put your bowl of pasta away, cleaning everything up you grabbed your water and went upstairs into your room. You sat down and watched some youtube, soon your father came home, you could tell by how heavy his footsteps are and because you could just feel that he was here. Your mother had been in her room all day as per usual. Soon night came and you stayed up as per usual. You didn't get to sleep until around 6am, you continued to do this for a while. Philza would contact you to check on you and make sure you were ok but one day you had woken up and knew it wasn't going to be a good day. Somebody was going to start yelling and somebody might get hurt. Though you just got up knowing you couldn't escape it.
When you felt these things you learnt to trust in it, so you went into the bathroom in the hallway and took out the first aid and brought it to your room. You sat on your bed for a bit and watched Philzas stream. You then heard yelling down stairs, they were fighting again, probably about money, or you or something. The only times they fight about you is when one wants to kick you out, you're being 'lazy' or something. Not really anyone defends you.
Sighing I roll in my bed to face the wall, putting my headsets on all the way and turning it up more to drown their voices out and any crashing that's happening. You just continued watching with a blank face. You thought about the past week, its been too good. You knew that so you weren't to surprised that now it started back up. You got to talk to Philza for about 2 to 3 hours a day max, and you even got to meet some of the others thanks to him. He doesn't talk about you outside of that thankfully. You were now good friends with Tubbo and Tommy in your opinion. They were kind and caring, Tubbo would constantly remind you to eat saying you seem to have a problem with remembering too. Though you can't really argue with that, you tend to forget to eat for a day or two. I smiled thinking about it, they were so kind and caring, I remembered when I was talking to Phil about school and apparently Kristin came in and asked if it was me, he had told her about me. She then talked to me for a bit, she's an amazing person. I wish she was my mother.
While I thought about the people I have met and grew to love even more, just from a small course of a week. My father came in, I could feel him behind me. He grabbed my hair from the back of my head and pulled me up, an angry look on his face. He then slammed me into the ground over and over. Slapping me making my face turn red from hand prints, yelling, loud noises, I couldn't make out any of the words he was saying. I was having a hard time staying conscious. Everything was hurting, my neck hurt from having my head bashed down in an awkward position. I could feel something thick and warm trickle down my forehead and down the back of my neck. Pure agony was all I felt. It hurt, it hurt so badly, why. Why was this a constant? I could feel the tears that pooled in my eyes and overflow onto the rounds of my cheeks. I couldn't see from the constant thrashing of me trying to get away even though I knew it was useless. The thrashing of being thrown around like a rag doll, like child that is upset with the present they got and destroys it out of anger. I didn't like feeling so small, so vulnerable, so fragile. That something could so easily poke me and I break.
The feeling in my legs and arms started to leave, I felt numb to everything. I stopped crying out of fear and pain. It was now just a reaction to what I couldn't feel. I was so tired, so so tired. I didn't like this. I wanted to sleep my life away, in a paradise that is kind and soft to me. In a place I could proudly say I don't know what it's like to have hate filled parents. In a world where I could live happily no matter how I felt about another person or about myself.
That would be so nice, a place that's a utopia of no pain to something so stupid to be mad about. A place where it was kind to those that deserve it. I know I may not deserve the kindness but it sounds nice. It sounds like being told I get to cuddle with those that care about on a cold day, sipping hot coco and laughing about stuff. It would be nice.
I awoke on my floor, dried blood on the floor but still able to be mushy in a weird way. I groan, my head finally showing that headache I knew that would come. I am so glad that I trust my instincts to bring the first aid and hide it in my room. I sat there for a moment, laying on the floor waiting for my senses to come back to me, to feel my legs and arms. I soon started to hear a buzz, thinking my head was just in such bad pain I was hearing things I moved a bit to get up. I then crawled over to a plank in my floor opening it up I took out the first aid and started to wrap myself up. I clean up my head a bit and then wrap a clothe of band-aid around it. Covering my eye up too thanks to it being swollen and busted my eyebrow and right beneath it too. I put smaller band-aids on other area, one on the side of my nose, a bigger one on my cheek from a cut that was kinda deep. Then another on my forehead. I then also wrap my neck to make sure if anything that was there opens up it wont completely bleed out. I clean and put band-aids other places on my arms and legs and even a bigger one around my torso with healing cream to help with bruising. I then sat down on my bed feel the cut on my lip, sighing I flop the rest of my body onto the bed. I then feel vibrations look over and down seeing my phone. I pick it up quickly, opening it up seeing I had 37 missed messages from Phil, Tubbo, and Tommy I opened up Phils first, I had missed 5 calls and 2 emergency calls from him. I looked through the texts quickly, seeing he was trying to check up on me. He seemed to have had a bad feeling about something, saying, 'I just wanna check up on you, I had a bad feeling something is gonna happen and just wanted to make sure you're safe.' After not responding for a good hour he seemed to have gotten more worried sending more texts. I then sighed, feeling worthless like I didn't deserve somebody, expecially somebody like Phil to worry about me. He's like the father figure I never could have, and don't deserve. I look at my other messages from Tubbo and Tommy, both also asking if I was fine, thanks to getting a panicked call from Philza.
I put my phone down for a moment, and just started crying. I didn't want to live like this, I didn't want to always feel like I am gonna get in trouble or hurt if I make one wrong move. I continued to cry and weep over my situation but pulled my phone up anyways and replied to Phil.
U/S: Hey, yea I am fine just passed out for a bit, so sorry for not responding.
I said, lying, well half lying, I didn't want to but I don't want to burden him, it would be wrong and he would hate me. I continued to think of all the horrible things he would say if I told him what happened. Though he responded instantly after.
Philza: Oh thank god you responded. I got so worried something happened to you, but you're lying aren't you? You don't just pass out normally not without saying something before.
Reading that I panicked, he knew too much. He knew far too much, he knew that I wasn't the type to just pass out without saying something, I even did it whenever he was streaming just to let him know incase he texted me after and I didn't respond.
U/S: I'm not lying Phil, I did pass out.
When typing this it took a few seconds longer than normal. You were shaking, your panic attack growing and you could barely see correctly or even breathe in a calm rhythm, your breathe was ragged and choppy. You got an incoming call from Phil, you didn't want to ignore it but you didn't want him to hear you in this state, he would look down on you and call you weak! You hated this you wanted the world to burn in hell with what it's causing you to feel right now. You answered the call, hearing Phils voice echoed through the phone. "Y/N? Hun are you ok? What happened?" He sounded panicked from hearing you crying. You shooked your head unable to speak, it seemed to recognize this and took a deep breathe in and let it out, you felt like he was mad at you, like he was about to yell at you. Tell you how worthless and useless you were and you knew it was true, you felt so disgusting, and horrible and like everything you did was wro-"Y/N I want you to copy my breathing. Take a deep breathe in..... and a deep breathe out. In..... and out..... In.... and out." You did what he was telling you to do, your breathe soon calming down, you could now some what breathe. "There we go, good girl/boy/job. You're doing good, now do you want to tell me what happened or do you just wanna talk about something else until you're ready?" He said, you took a deep breathe in and nodded to yourself.
"My father and mother were arguing down stairs yelling and throwing things as per usual.." You took another breathe feeling the panic attack coming back, "My father came up to my room, and pulled me by my hair, and threw me to the floor. Picking me b-ba-ack u-up a-a-a-nd thro-throwing m-me bac-k do-own." Your voice got choppy and wavered a lot towards the end. You started whimpering and crying again feeling vulnerable, feeling small. "Oh dear.." He says referring to you as dear, is voice was low and soft as to not cause any panic. He didn't want you to be frightened. He didn't want you to go through this, you're just a kid. Nobody should go through this. He then thought for a minute. You lived in Britain, you could be close, he could come and get you and take you. "Hey Y/N where do you live?" He asked, soft and concerned, you told him. He said he was near there it would just take an hour to an hour and a half to get there, and that he wants you to pack some stuff up. He also said he would be calling the police to put in a report of abuse. You tried to stop him fearing you would get in trouble but he said he was going to do it anyway. You knew you couldn't stop him. So you did what he said, you started packing. He had ended the call to get somethings and to call the police. You packed things you needed like clothes in a bookbag. In another bag you just put basic things, your charger, your laptop, your drawing things/music sheets/(whatever) and of course your brush and toothbrush that's in a baggy. You sat in your bed hugging your pillow, you sighed heavily.
Soon you hear a door being knocked on. It was coming from downstairs. You heard muffled talking, then shouts. Soon it went quiet. You opened your door and looked down the railing of the stairs. You saw three police, one was holding your father in cuffs, your mother just sat there watching. No emotion to her face, like she could careless what happens anymore. Your father broke her so much. You felt bad but, she hurt you a lot. Yelling about things, saying how lazy you are, and much more. Soon in came a man that had a pale complexion but not to the point he looked sick-like you- he had blonde hair and was slightly shorter than your father. He looked around and looked up seeing you, you had a tear stained faced rosy cheeks from crying so much, your E/C were lighter than usual from the crying, your H/C hair was disheveled, messy and knotty. Your hands gripped the railing to the point that your knuckles turned white. You were scared but glad to see somebody that.. Was nice and cared about you. He smiled at you and motioned that it was ok to come down the stairs. You slowly made your way down, cautious of everything, like a wild prey walking towards a person to see if they are good. You made it down and walked over to them, instinctively you pulled your arms up around your body, twiddling with your fingers and trying to calm down.
He walked over to you and hugged you, protectively. Like as if you were his little girl/boy/one. You felt safe, you felt loved. You looked over at your father that was in cuffs. Phil standing next to you holding your side. "How about you go get your bags, we can come back for the rest of your stuff later. For now you need to rest and be taken care of." He said, you nodded and ran up to go get your stuff, two backpacks full with your needed things. He took one bag from you, and walked you out of the house and to his car. Putting the bags in the back seat you sat in the front with him. He got in and drove off.
You passed out while on the car ride back, once you guys got to his house, he got out and took your bags in. Then he came back to you, picking you up and brought you in. Laying you on a bed in a guest room. Kristin was in there putting some clothes she thought you could hopefully where until you got the rest of your stuff. They both then looked at your sleeping form and smiled, you were now apart of their family. They both loved how you just fit right in.
When you awoken you went down stairs, seeing Phil watching tv and Kristin was in the kitchen making something, and what ever it was it smelt delicious. Phil hear you and turned to you and smiled, "Feeling any better?" You thought for a moment and smiled, it actually reaching your eyes, "Yes much better. Thank you a lot." You said, you sat down and he ruffled your hair laughing. You snickered with him, "It's no problem kid, you didn't deserve to be in that situation." He said, Kristin came in, "Ok dinner is ready." She said, for a moment you got flustered that somebody else was cooking for you. Normally you cooked for yourself, but you felt glad that somebody else was wanting to do such a thing for you.
You all went into the dinning room, ate and had a good night. You were adopted by them and you are thankful for it, when you have a panic attack they always help you, you even got to have fun and even met Tubbo and Tommy, along with Wilbur and George and Jack.
You sat in your room looking at pictures of your family and friends. You smiled, happy to have met them.
OH GOODNESS ANOTHER LONG ONE EH?? AT LEAST IT ISN'T 11617 WORDS LIKE MY KARL X ETHAN X CHRIS X MALE READER ONE! WELL THEN ANYWAYS- I hope you all liked this, this book will be dedicated to fluffy/comfort shots request anything you want!
-Void