-|| Celestial whispers ||-
Shooting stars falls in the dark to light the lamp of the heart in a fraction.
◊◊◊
Time. It was hard to decipher the way it went in the last few days. At an instance it moved like a sloth and other side , it flew. Pandavas and their bharyas had been remotely doing their duties for the fallen souls. They stayed in the outskirts of Hastinapura.
The large moon shone dull in the dark inkling of the sky. It seemed it only gave rise to shadows , silhouettes , grief and mistrust.
" Nooo "
Suthanu rose from her bed with a jerk bathed with sweat and tears. The same sight that haunted her every night ; children, brothers , grandfathers and uncles covered with blood. She ceased her sight for a moment before throwing the silk blanket covering her. Her own wounds were fresh and she hadn't herself healed from it.
Standing in front of the mirror, she collected her disheveled self. Last few days had been nothing than living in a hell.
The revelation of Karna came shocking to everyone. Her fathers were utterly broken yet it was Yudhisthira who seemed the most affected. She knew the reason , it was the shelter above one's head that every being would crave for in a lifetime. The fate did give him one , a one that remained abandoned until the very end.
It was the first time when she saw hurt cover his eyes for Kunti. Betrayed , her father felt but it wasn't for Kunti but prominently the circles of fate.
Her heart ached for Kunti incredibly. The mother who had given up her child so that the son wouldn't live a life of a illegitimate yet brought upon herself hate from her own people when he had gone. It was a mistake to summon the sun God but as a mother , she was flawless.
Bhabhi , it came at the back of her mind. She must check up on Uttara.
Suthanu left her tents to Uttara's at once. She had managed to feed food to Uttara by stating the little child living within her but sleep , it remained a huge question.
Suthanu stepped slowly into Uttara's tents. Her eyes turned blurry finding Uttara in a disturbed sleep. Suthanu pulled the blanket till the top as she sat beside Uttara slowly. Her hands caressing the head of the boon of the family who had lost everything yet remained to be a living hope to her parents.
' Swami '
Suthanu felt a lump raise in her throat hearing Uttara's painful plea. A plea that would have made her brother come running to Uttara , had he been there. Suthanu pressed her lips together to stop her sob from escaping.
' Bhrata never fails his promise Bhabhi. Until your breath lasts , he is living ' , Suthanu whispered as she even recalled her brother's words. Her hand went to Uttara's abdomen and she smiled faintly.
' Ladla , everyone here loves you. Come soon ladla , your maa - my Bhabhi needs you more than anyone ' , Suthanu whispered fondly.
Feeling Uttara settled than before, Suthanu rose from her place. A quick check on her parents wouldn't harm but she need to be extra cautious. They had enough troubles and she wouldn't let her be one.
As Suthanu went towards their tent , she moved behind abruptly finding a shadow lurking in the way.
' Pita ' , she mused in her mind as Yudhishthira trolled on the lands looking bereft of life. She moved behind the curtains of the tent a little more so as to not fall in his sight. Not once , she had seen Yudhishthira sleep post the war.
Did she sleep ? For the matter , none slept that's a truth. But Yudhishthira hadn't least even laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. Suthanu's heart pained terribly being the witness of the sight every night.
Should she confront him today ? The thought almost left when she saw Devika stand before Yudhisthira.
" Swami " , her tone made Yudhisthira look away. " Devi , it's too late. What are you doing here ? " , Yudhisthira asked softly.
" What are you doing here , Swami ? " , Devika posed a question this time. Yudhisthira remained silent , lie had it ever been his for him to say one ? Suthanu sighed.
" I won't hear a word today. Come with me ", Devika held his hand moving into the tent as Suthanu came from the curtains with a small smile. May be not sleep but atleast he retired to bed ? The thought erased the ache , Suthanu felt.
Later , Suthanu retired to her tents as she was sure her parents though asleep slowly tried to consider comfort for them. But how long will this go ? Suthanu looked at the small idol of Lakshmi Narayan in front of her. She poured oil into the earthen lamp as even her eyes stung with burning tears.
" Mata , the clouds of mirk has surrounded entirely and I see no rise of a dawn. Show me the way Mata " , Suthanu's hands went to hold their feet , " please , please show me one. I can't see everything fall apart maiya ". For long , she kept looking at the idol's feet until darkness washed over her right there like it was meant too. A darkness that perhaps that comes before the rise of Dawn.
The idol of LakshmiNarayan glowed as even a foot stepped into the tents of the PandavaNandini. The air swirled into a comforting warmth.
Satyabhama smiled looking at Suthanu holding onto her feet be it even in the idol.
Satyabhama brought her lotus hands to Suthanu's head and that was a unlike the jerk Suthanu had , it felt like a comforting spell drawing her into the webs of light.
Suthanu blinked her eyes to get a proper sight , adjusting to the light around.
" Maa , you here ? " , Suthanu lept on her feet as she bowed down to Satyabhama instantly. The chief queens of Dwarka had arrived few days before and extensively supported her mothers , females of Kauravas and her aunts from Panchala.
Satyabhama placed her hand on Suthanu's head with a small smile. She gently wrapped her hands around Suthanu and pulled her to her chest , Suthanu stilled , a sob threatened to escape her. It was long she had cried but her tears couldn't be restrained finding the warmth that she had yearned , she was so busy onlooking others grief that she had disregarded hers for long. Satyabhama rubbed her back slightly and patted her head before breaking the hug and wiping her cheeks. Suthanu didn't try to smile back at Satyabhama but a mild smile came to her face involuntarily.
" Maa , you could have notified me through someone. I would have come to you " , Suthanu said gently.
" I would have if I was your mother -in - law , Thanu. But with a mother , today I have come as a guru as well " , Satyabhama took a seat on the couch as Suthanu sat near her feet.
" I am awaiting for your guidance Maa " , Suthanu listened attentively. Satyabhama took her hands in hers , the warmth and energy surged through Suthanu as she was left in wonder.
" The world has a cycle , child. After every destruction , creation comes. Destruction can be done by anyone but only the just has the power of creation. Your parents will soon get this realization and will be the pillars of a new creation this land will see. In this , where do you stand ? Who are you this moment ? " , Satyabhama looked into Suthanu's eyes.
Suthanu's eyes flickered with the truth dawning upon her. Creation , from darkness only did light emerge. Her heart kindled with the light of hope that was lit by light herself.
" Maa , I am the daughter of Kuru Kula , the to-be daughter in law of Yadava Kula " , Suthanu searched in Satyabhama's eyes. She knew there was a miss , the person in front of her was her guru and through the years , she found if she achieved or failed just by looking into her guru's eyes.
" Before that you are the daughter of this land , Thanu. The Rajakumari of this entire Bharatvarsha for your parents are it's rulers now. The time is now for your war to extend , AgnijaaSuta. This life is yours to lead and you can win it only by facing it " , Satyabhama's hands cupped Suthanu's cheeks.
' Rajakumari ' , it rang in bells.
" Maa but the citizens have come to hate royal.." , Suthanu paused in her words looking up at Satyabhama with a small smile. Creation , princess , life... she got the picture.
" I got it Maa from where to begin " , Suthanu touched Satyabhama's feet. " Vijayi Bhava " , Satyabhama placed her palm on Suthanu's head with a smile.
' Thoughts , the change has to begin from there and before becoming a princess , I must know the land of Hastinapura and it's people. Without knowing anything , I don't deserve to be a princess ' , Suthanu looked determined ,' It's time the people of Hastinapura witness the truth of Dharma , the truth of my parents '.
" Thanu " , Satyabhama's voice made Suthanu look at her.
" Child , it's always okay to take a break " , Satyabhama's words brought slight tears to Suthanu. " Don't worry Maa , I am better. Thank you for being with me , your presence hasn't only enlightened my life but it has also dispelled the grief in my heart I have been holding since long and given me a path. I shouldn't thank you Maa but you are remover of my darkness in life - I owe you all my lifes to come for your unwavered support " , Suthanu spoke as Satyabhama took her into an embrace just like a mother would.
The drop of the glass echoed in the chambers. Yudhisthira rose from his place in shock finding Suthanu clad in saffron clothes and adorned with bead jewels. After the war , Suthanu had gone back to minimal royal clothes with bare minimum jewels but it surprised to see her again in this form.
Bhima and Arjuna who sat beside turned finding Yudhisthira in shock as their gaze rested on their daughter.
" Bangaram " , Nakula broke the silence as he entered the tents along with Sahadeva.
" Pita " , Suthanu's eyes grew warm seeing the five.
" I wish to go to Hastinapura and live among the commoners for a few days until the coronation " , Suthanu noticed a shift in Yudhisthira's eyes at the mention of coronation yet dismissed it for the time - being. She had trust on the people here.
" But why ? " , Sahadeva asked.
" To do the duties of a princess and a daughter , Pita " , Suthanu walked up to Yudhisthira making him take his seat as she stood beside him to look at all her fathers.
" Their needs to be a dawn after this fallen night. It is for that dawn I want to work for. ' Royalty ' has never been a title to hold for any of us that is how you all brought me up. Now , you are the rulers of Bharata and with that I too turn a princess of this land. What kind of a princess , I would be if I don't know my own citizens ? What kind of royalty would exist if people wouldn't come to the royals for their needs ? " , Suthanu was halted by Sahadeva.
" Wouldn't come to us ? "
" Yes pita , that is the knot. The war has been won but has that vanquished the thoughts of the people ? The higher purpose of war is not clear to me itself, pita afterall that has happened. In this case how will they understand ? If they do say they have been treated as pawns in this game of throne , I won't fault them. "
" Thanu , but.. "
" Paa , I know that is not the truth. They can never be treated as pawns under you five but the rule of Hastinapura has only seen such days. How can we think after being played by the royalty time and again , they would trust us ? None of you would take a stand for yourself , to push forward what you all are. I can't bear that people see my parents in a sight that is wrong neither can I see my parents in more pain due to the anguish of the citizens. The only middle way is for their thoughts to change Pita. If the thoughts are good , may this land never witness a war as this day. I am doing my part in lighting that lamp Pita, rest everything as always will be from you five and my mothers. It is not only my responsibility but duty too. Do you still think that I must not go ? " , Suthanu knew it was hard for her parents to let her go this moment - a time when they needed her the most but better than the pain in future that they would bear.
" So , even you want to go away from us ? " , Draupadi's booming voice alerted Suthanu as she turned to face her.
" Maa , I can answer you only with a question. My thoughts , my breath and my existence comes from you all. You all are the creator and sculpturer of every part of me , I am in your life-breath and you are in my heart. Is there anything that can separate me from you all ? " , Suthanu took Draupadi's hands in hers , her eyes shining in hope.
" Never child , you can never be away from us. Only this question won't remain " , Draupadi's eyes misted turning Suthanu's eyes teary. Suthanu might have grown up but still she was the child who would cry the moment she sees her mothers in tears.
" Go Bangaram" , Yudhisthira's voice first sounded like a command to only break the softest the next moment , " I will wait to see you again , sooner ".
Suthanu turned to him as she embraced her very universe , her father always supported her like every time despite that decision would cause him pain itself such as today. Yudhisthira though submerged in the pools of grief of all the losses felt a warm sense of pride in his heart , his daughter was not a princess any more: she was a queen in herself.
" I will return to you even before you miss me , Pita " , Suthanu said yet she knew she would always remain in his thoughts.
She took slow steps towards Bhima without meeting her eyes with his. Why couldn't she just forget that one incident of him being impulsive with Duryodhana and kicking on his head ? Something which he himself regretted in his heart , she knew.
It was hard knowing that his hopeful eyes was on hers as even his palm touched her head for blessing.
" Take care pita " , Suthanu said softly. " I will and take care Thanu " , Bhima was warm , she needed time and he would wait for her.
Arjuna simply looked at her before taking her in his arms. Blinking his tears away , he looked at her with a heavy heart yet ever being the guidance of her life.
" The journey which you are taking up is not easy child , it took us so many years to bring this change. The path to change is a walk on fire but I know you are the amsha of fire and are capable. But it's my duty to tell you. Pitashree had told us a story in our childhood. As you know. Lord Rama was the manifestation of Shri Hari Vishnu himself. If he did wish , he could have made Lanka lose it's existence the minute Sita maiya was kidnapped. But he fought back with immense courage , patience and valor. That is why , people don't remember it as a victory alone but he got a title that would be sung for ages. You know which ? " , Arjuna looked in question.
" Yes paa , Maryada Purshottam Sri Ram. You all have recited me Ramayana " , Suthanu's words made Arjun pat her cheeks. " That's not only to hear but adapt it in your life putri " , Arjun said as Suthanu bowed down to his feet.
" I promise Paa , I will never disappoint you " , Suthanu said as Arjun blessed her.
" Indeed , you will never child. You will be victorious in the motive you are going for Lily , that is my blessing. May lord Raghava and Devi Sita bless you with their resilience as your paa wished " , Krishna entered the space as even Suthanu bowed down to him. Krishna blessed her with a smile before sharing a silent smile with Arjuna assuring his heart.
" Thanu , every time weapons don't give one victory " , Nakula's hand caressed Suthanu's head. She looked at him with twinkling eyes in understanding , she had decided before itself.
" Neer "
As if waiting , Neerja entered carrying in a bow and sword. Suthanu taking it her hands dismissed the former with a smile. Bowing down in one knee , she looked at Nakula.
" This is your possession now , Pita. I will get it back from you when I do return " , Suthanu said as Nakula got it from her after a moment of thought. The determination that he sees in his child's eyes will not let her lose.
" Thanu " , Sahadeva's voice swirled with worry. What if some tragedy strikes or danger falls?
" Pita , the wisdom you all have given is my greatest weapon. Bless me that it stands by me always " , Suthanu bowed down to Sahadeva as he blessed her in return with a short smile.
Soon , she took departure from all her mothers and Uttara. Assured that Uttara would be all good in her absence for Subhadra had given her the word and she had no second thoughts about it. She hugged Uttara before placing her palm on Uttara's abdomen.
' Ladla , your Pitruvyasa loves you. Take care of your maiya ' , Suthanu whispered with a smile.
She got the blessings of Astabharyas next , hugging Satyabhama for a moment longer.
As she took a step to leave , she stilled that very moment. Her very heart that she had held onto strongly slipping at the very sight of ' him '.
A/ N : As much as I wanted a conversation between Suthanu and Bhanu but I didn't want to rush. The conversation will come up in the next chapter.
How is everything going far ? I know I have skipped a few portions but it will come up definitely in the chapters ahead.
Do leave your votes and comments !