Lily
I was so frustrated with Liam I couldn’t even look at him for the rest of the day. Sure, the safety of the pack was his responsibility, but the well being of the women and children were mine. And the way he had dismissed my very real concerns so callously had me seething. So much so I hadn’t spoken to him since I left my office.
We were sitting in the kitchen, me eating the delicious dinner I made and him eating a sandwich because I refused to cook for his stubborn ass, when he finally cracked.
“Please, sweetheart? Just talk to me. I can’t stand the silent treatment.”
“Why would I bother speaking if you’re not going to listen to me anyway?” He sighs and lifts me off my seat onto his lap.
He lowers his head into my neck and breathes deeply, leaving little kisses up to my jaw.
“You’re right.” My body freezes as I pull away to look at him.
“What?” I ask. He smiles a little at the shocked expression on my face.
“You’re right. I should have sent her to the hospital. I could have gotten fighters to keep an eye on her. Cuffed her to the bed. I was blinded by the rage at what she did, attempting to kill you. While I was in the next fucking room. God, the audacity. Our own Beta Female. I was hurt, betrayed and fucking pissed off. A little of that anger rolled onto Sam. I know it wasn’t his fault, I know he never would have allowed her to do that if he had known. But a part of me was mad at him that he didn’t control his mate. So I ordered him to put her in a cell. The fact that he agreed made me feel like shit. Of course our ever loyal beta agreed with putting his own damn mate in a cell to keep you safe. I’m an asshole. And I’m sorry.” I stare at him wide eyed, mouth gaping like a fish.
“Wow, gorgeous green eyes, amazing body, dick so big I come till I pass out and you can apologize like a poet? I’d say you’re a keeper, Alpha Caulfield.” I respond cheekily before leaning in to kiss him.
He captures my lips, parting them with his tongue and sucking my bottom lip into his mouth like a man who thought he’d never get to taste it again.
“I forgive you, but you need to apologize to Sam.” He nods and mind links Sam to come over.
“That’s weird, his block is up.” I furrow my brows in confusion and can’t stop the concern growing in my gut.
Sam has never put his block up. Not for a single moment.
“Shit.” Liam mutters.
“What?” I ask.
“The guard at the dungeon needs us there. Now.”
“Why? What’s going on?” A feeling of dread takes root in me and my heart flutters nervously.
“I don’t know, he just asked us to come. Both of us.”
We shift and run as quickly as we can to the large compound that houses our cells. I’ve only ever been here once, when Liam gave me a tour. We rarely had people to hold here. The few rogues we captured while Kane was setting us up for attack, but those wolves hadn’t survived long after we got what we needed out of them.
Liam and I enter the building and my nose is instantly assaulted by the unwelcome, but familiar scent of blood.
“Was anyone but Chloe being held here?” I ask Liam, gripping his arm. His voice is low and face hard as he looks down the hall.
“No.” He must have come to the same conclusion as me.
“Alpha.” One of the guards says as we walk up to the last cell.
I gasp and recoil, spilling the contents of my stomach on the floor next to Liam.
Chloe is laying on the floor, covered in a pool of her own blood. Dead.
“Who did this?” Liam turns on the guard and pushes him against the wall with a snarl that shakes the entire building.
“She-she did Alpha.” The man stutters back.
“What?” I ask incredulously.
“She killed herself.” The air whooshes from my lungs and I collapse onto my knees.
“How?” I ask quietly.
“The beta was standing at the cell talking to her. She became irate, upset, inconsolable. He tried to talk her down and she extended her claw and slit her own throat. Beta Sam tried to stop her. Tried to get to her, but he wasn’t fast enough. She died in his arms.” He finishes somberly, looking at the floor.
Tears well my eyes and my body begins to shake with sobs. I look at Liam, his eyes hold the same pain mine must.
“Where’s Sam?” I barely choke out between sobs. The man looks hesitant and doesn’t answer my question.
“Where. Is. Sam?” I ask louder narrowing my eyes at the man, daring him not to give me my answer.
“He’s in the back room, but Luna I have to warn you, he’s pretty upset.” I scoff and stand, striding in the direction the man pointed.
“Of course he’s fucking upset. He just watched his mate die.” I respond with more venom than I intended, but my only thought was getting to my Sammy.
My sweet Sam. The one who waited and hoped for his mate. How could it have gone so wrong?
I hear voices behind a door, so I push it open. My eyes scan the room until they find the warm brown ones I’m looking for. He’s sitting on the floor, one knee propped up with an arm slung across it, the other leg flat on the floor. His eyes are dark and blank. No tears, no anger, no emotions.
He's numb.
“Oh, Sammy.” I breathe as I fly towards him.
The other men quickly leave the room as Sam’s eyes meet mine. They instantly fill with tears that he doesn’t bother to wipe away. I sit next to him and pull his head down onto my lap. He wraps his arms around me as tightly as he can as he sits and cries with me. His strangled cries hurt worse than Kane’s claws to my gut. I run my fingers through his hair and rub my hand down his back, doing my best to soothe him.
But how do you soothe someone who just lost half of their soul?
‘Will this kill him?’ I ask Liam. I look at him, arms crossed, standing rigid, mouth set in a firm line.
‘No. They weren’t marked. But he’ll never get over it.’ I nod sadly and fresh tears spring in my eyes.
‘Have someone gather his things and bring them to our house.’ I tell Liam and he nods.
“It’s my fault, Luna.” Sam says, hiccupping in between his words.
“No it’s not.” I shake my head as I run my hand over his cheek.
“If I had listened to you, pushed for her to go to the hospital…” I shush him gently to cut him off.
“Don’t go down that hole, Sam. You can’t hold yourself responsible for other people’s actions.” I say.
“She was yelling at me, right before she did it. You know what she said?” I shake my head as his red rimmed eyes meet mine.
“She said I love you more than her. That I wanted you. And then she said those filthy rogues raped her and she was too dirty for me to ever love her. That I deserved better. How could she think that, Lily? How could she think that about me? What did I do to make her think I’m such a piece of shit?” I shake my head vehemently and cup his face in both of my hands.
“It’s not your fault, Sam. She was sick. She needed help. If anyone failed her, it was me.”
Sam looks at me for a long moment, but doesn't say anything. He lowers his head back to my lap and continues crying quietly. I sit with him until my back hurts and my legs are numb.
"Come on, Sam. You're going to come stay with us for awhile." I say gently, nudging him to stand.
He looks at me confused, but doesn't say anything. He stands and Liam wraps him in a tight hug, pulling him out to an SUV someone brought for us. He looks so lost, I don't trust him to shift. I don't know what his wolf would do. When we get to the house Liam leads him up to the spare room Sam always stays in when he comes over. His clothes and a few items of his are already here, but he doesn't notice them. He's still covered in Chloe's blood, but he just stands in the room, staring at the floor.
'Do you want to bathe him?' I ask Liam. I know how he feels about me being around other men. To my surprise he shakes his head.
'You can do it, baby. It's fine. He needs you.' He gives me a sad look and kisses me gently before leaving the room.
I've never seen Sam so despondent. He's obviously in shock and I don't know how to handle it.
"Let's get you cleaned up." I say as I herd him toward the bathroom.
I take off his shirt and start the bath. I reach for his pants, but he grabs my wrist to stop me.
"Alpha." Is all he says. I shake my head and smile at him.
"It's ok. He knows you need my help." Another tear slides down his face and I wipe it away.
"I can do it myself." He says gruffly.
"I know, sweetie. But I'm not leaving you alone right now." He gives me a subtle nod before stripping and climbing into the tub.
It's not the first time I've seen him naked. I've seen him after a shift plenty of times, but he seems so vulnerable as he pulls his knees to his chest, wraps his arms around them and rests his chin on them. I get a washcloth and some soap and wipe the blood from his face and what I can reach of his chest. When I start to wash his back his eyes close. He seems to enjoy it so I continue for a long while.
'How is he?' Liam asks. I pull Liam into my mind so he can see what I'm seeing.
'He hasn't spoken a word.' I say sadly.
I find a cup and use it to wash the dried blood from his hair and his chest rumbles a little when I scratch his scalp. I giggle at the sound and he looks at me.
"How am I supposed to live my life alone?" He asks.
"Sam..." I sigh. "You'll never be alone. Liam and I will always be here for you. I know it's not the same, but maybe you can find someone else someday. Someone to share your life with."
"It's not the same." He says bitterly. I grasp his chin to make him look at me.
"I know. But I'm selfish, Sam. I need you. And so does Liam. So we're going to help you through this. Because we love you."