(WARNING: +18) 🔥
Track #27: Higher
***
Shawn's POV
August 9, 2019
I wake up feeling truly terrible, like I've been hit with a fucking brick. My head is spinning non-stop and I struggle to even open my eyes fully with the small sliver of light peeking through the curtains of the room I'm in. Of course I have no idea how and at what time I got here. The party was still going on on the roof of the hotel when I decided to leave at some point... with Camila.
Bursts of memories come back to my mind. Not of last night, but of what happened last year. When I had my heart broken in this same city due to the same girl that, despite everything, I never stopped fighting for. But today is different. It's a beautiful start, so beautiful that it seems like a dream from which I don't want to wake up... Before I was all alone and sad Camila, but I waited, and now I feel complete because I have you....
That time I told myself I would never drink like that again, but here I am. The hangover I have is the worst. Drowsily I stretch my aching muscles and carefully sit on the edge of the bed wondering where she is. I had gotten used to waking up next to her these past couple of days and it saddens me to know that soon we will be drifting apart again. Not for long, but if it were my choice I would stay 24 hours with her.
I'm very sleepy... Why did I wake up in the first place?
The answer comes thanks to the sound of dishes clattering together as if they had been dropped and a faint smell of burning outside the room. I stop for a moment in the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my pale face before hurrying off to the kitchen of the small apartment we're staying in this week.
I watch the scene in front of me very intently. Singing 'Slow Dancing In a Burning Room' in a soft tune, my girlfriend tries to make a decent breakfast, scantily clad in one of my shirts that fits her too big and her hair messed up in a bun. Damn, she's so beautiful!
I silently spy her from the dining room table holding back a laugh. It smells like burnt oil, a number of dirty dishes and pans are piled up on the side of the counter, while an unknown liquid is dripping from one of the cabinets. What is she doing?
- Good morning, Mila. - I murmur at last announcing my presence.
My dear, messy girl startles, dropping the fork with which she was whisking something in a bowl, super concentrated. Her face is a poem and fills me with tenderness. She obviously doesn't know what she's doing.
- Shawn, what are you doing up so early? - She asks nervously, turning again to keep an eye on the pan in front of her that's sizzling oil all over the place. - I thought you'd sleep in later.
- And I would have, had it not been for a certain someone trying to burn down the apartment. - I reply with a small smile, even though she's not looking at me. She laughs while chopping something on a board.
- I left you an aspirin there. - She points to the kitchen island where a glass of water rests ready for me to drink. - I guess you need it.
- Thanks, babe.
I approach to take it with a grimace of displeasure. I hate medicine of any kind. I put up with anxiety pills once in a while, but they are horrible. At least I'm better in that area and I haven't taken them in months....
Camila laughingly tells me that she had strange dreams all night, terrifying to her. Fed up with that, she got up around 8AM to continue with her routine of meditation exercises, which she tries to do daily to improve her mental health that she needs so much in these times. She has advised me to do the same but I have been very careless about it.
Visibly pleased with the procedure of her impromptu breakfast recipe, she prances around dancing around me who have taken a seat in front of the island. I catch her on her third lap and wrap my hands around her hips.
- Did we do something last night? - I ask curiously as she's the one with my shirt on while I'm bare-chested.
- Nope. And you owe me. - Mockingly she pouts, stroking my hair. - You fell knocked out in bed from so many drinks.
- How did we get back here after the party?
- Jake. - Is her simple answer as she untangles herself from me and goes back to overseeing her culinary project.
- What are you doing?
The unpleasant smell of the egg makes me gag, which I try to contain. I drink some more water to ignore it, but it doesn't seem to be working. My head is still spinning although it's more manageable now.
- A couple of omelettes. There wasn't much in the fridge. - She explains shrugging her shoulders and frowns looking at me for a second. - Why, you don't like them?
- To be honest, I feel like throwing up. - I snort, leaning my head on the counter.
- Oh, honey... - She wails, running to me worriedly. I smile sweetly to let her know it's no big deal. - So what are you going to eat? There is fruit, do you want fruit?
- Please. - I squeeze her hand leaving a kiss on it. Camila strokes my hair looking at me hypnotized. - And a coffee, maybe.
- OK! - She hurries to look for the relevant elements to do what I asked her to do.
She audibly groans as she plugs in the coffee maker that Andrew got us but we haven't used at all. We usually go out for breakfast so this is new to us....
- You have to help me with this not-for-millennials coffee maker. - She laughs analyzing the machine from all sides. I get up to join her with some curiosity. - I've been trying to put the filter on for half an hour but I don't know how to open it.
- Isn't it automatic?
- I... - She stops in surprise at that fact and pouts adorably as the buttons light up but don't seem to work as they should. She huffs giving up. - Forget it, Shawn! I'm going to put a pot of water on to boil like old times.
- It's not like you're that old. - I laugh, leaving a kiss on her flushed cheek.
- We both act like old people. - She teases tapping my abdomen with amusement.
***
After breakfast, I help her wash up the mess she made; we take a quick shower and get ready to pack our luggage at once to kill time. Surprisingly I feel so much better, and I have her to thank for that, she has been looking out for me all morning. It's nice to know that she cares about me in equal measure. She is my salvation and I am hers.
Standing near the closet, Camila separates her clothes for the day and what she will wear to leave for the airport tomorrow, while I concrete a few things with Scott to meet in the studio to discuss the new album.
I can feel Camila's gaze on me and I raise my head to confirm it. A soft, mischievous smile forms on her face framed by her long black hair, and my heart flutters wildly at that view that looks so nice.
Without a word, I approach her position by closing the closet door behind her back and pull her against it with some pressure on her hips. She catches my lower lip between hers, before initiating a kiss that soon turns fiery. She cocks her head as she keeps a firm grip on my hair pulling me closer to her, my hands run up her thighs up her sides and I spread caresses across her back.
Boldly she bites my lip and my fingers fly into her silky hair, holding her bowed head to reach her exposed neck, intoxicating me with her sweet rose perfume. One of my hands stops on the invisible zipper of her silk blouse and I struggle with it until I slide it all the way down to its end. I pull the fabric away from her shoulders to let it fall to our feet and her jeans meet the same fate.
I gently massage her naked breasts and she moans in my ear losing control. Her small hands now squeeze my back hard as my lips suck on the thin skin of her neck, sure that will leave hickeys but at this very moment I don't think she cares. She pulls away from my body for a moment and helps me out of my clothes with desperation, lust present in her dark eyes.
I push her gently against the bed, climb up to her and place light wet kisses on her flushed face, very much at ease with the sounds coming from her mouth that inform me she's having the time of her life. You're not alone, baby...
I move her underwear out of the way before positioning myself at her entrance, eager to join her. Her pleading eyes connect with mine as she hands me the condom I assume she took from my pants, where it was stored all night waiting for this moment. Under her watchful gaze I put it on to penetrate her gently afterwards and a gasp escapes me that she silences with her lips.
There is no need to say a single word as we enjoy each other, absorbing all the beautiful sensations that overwhelm me completely.
We turn around so that she is on top and with my hands on her hips I make her climb up and down on me. This feels more and more liberating, exciting and incredible. She keeps looking at me smiling as always and once again I feel like the luckiest man in the world to have her in my life.
At some point as our bodies crash against each other covered in a light layer of sweat, we climax together. Camila falls on top of me with her head on my chest totally exhausted but satisfied just as I am, murmuring an 'I love you' that warms my heart.
***
After a few minutes of peace, where we finally manage to slow down our agitated breathing, I stare at her for what seems like an eternity. Her pretty porcelain face rests on my chest, her tangled hair spread out on the pillow. I imagine a thousand future scenarios with her next to me. What would it be like to wake up every day next to this beautiful woman? She feels like... home to me.
These days have been such a blessing. I am constantly on the go. If it's not a Tour, it's photo shoots, interviews and red carpets. It's strange to be in one fixed place for so long, doing things as normal as cooking or doing laundry. And I'm sharing these experiences with her for the first time. Living together as an ordinary young couple. And I love it.
- Mila... - I murmur, caressing her bare back which makes her tremble. She looks up into my eyes as she lays chaste kisses on my cheek, purring like a kitten. - Maybe it's a little soon, but...how do you feel about renting this apartment indefinitely?
She stops the traverse of her lips and looks at me in a complete state of shock. Did I cross the line? Of course I did...I'm pushing my luck. But this feels right for me; I hope she feels the same way.
- For both of us? - She asks still shocked and I nod holding my breath.
I see her look in all directions frowning and as I have her wrapped in my arms, I feel her shiver slightly. Her skin has turned cold as if I had thrown a bucket of water on her. This could end very badly...
- Well... - She speaks after a while and my pulse quickens in anticipation.
She is visibly nervous but has not said 'No'. I am filled with hope as I see her expression change to a more determined and calm one as she looks into my eyes. Her cheeks flush adorably red.
- Your concert in Brooklyn is coming up, the VMAs... - She starts counting on her fingers and then shrugs shyly. - It's halfway to wherever we are.
- Is that a yes? - A small smile forms on my lips as I watch her nod.
- Fuck yeah! - She exclaims more than excited unable to sit still. - What's the point of staying from hotel to hotel if we're always going to be together? At least, as far as we can... - She murmurs at the end with a melancholic gesture.
- I can't wait for the Tour to be over so I can go back to Canada and take you with me. - I confess, earning a hopeful smile from her. - Even if it's only for a week.
- You haven't spent much time with your parents, have you? - She murmurs restlessly, stroking my hair in an attempt to comfort me. I hold her free hand on my chest close to my pounding heart.
- Since March I've been on a bit of a run. - I snort in disappointment. - It's just getting to the house and leaving right away. It's not the same as... sharing... a real family dinner, annoying my sister and... watching long hours of movies with them. - I look into her eyes that watch me intently without blinking. - You know about that, you're always with your family.
- I try to be. - She makes a funny face and leans on her elbow to look down at me from above in all seriousness. This girl changes moods too quickly.... - It's important to find time for them, you know? Tomorrow we'll go out to eat with them, okay?
- Aren't you leaving early tomorrow morning?
- I can change my flight. - She says with a smile, playing it down.
She leans in to steal a kiss from me and hurries out of bed in all her glory, as God brought her into the world. She paces around the room looking for her clothes lying on the floor and her smile widens when she sees my eager expression, causing me to blush and avert my gaze to the ceiling. Shawn, get a hold of yourself!
She walks past me to the edge of the bed biting her lip to continue teasing me and walks into the bathroom giggling, disappearing from my sight.
- Shall we go out for lunch?! - She shouts from inside the bathroom.
- Yes, beautiful!
I get out of bed too and look for something to wear through the pile of clothes in my still open suitcase. I don't feel comfortable wearing the same clothes twice without having washed them first, so I'm a bit disconcerted to see Camila coming out of the bathroom with what she wore yesterday afternoon. I raise a curious eyebrow at her who is trying to untangle her long hair with one of my combs.
- Today I woke up wanting to fuck with the paparazzi. - She mutters with a giggle.
OK... I prefer to keep my comments to myself...
- Mila, I have to call Jake to pick us up. - I inform her as I walk from the bathroom to the bedroom while I make myself decent. - I seriously need to get my driver's license at once. - I snort irritably.
- You want to be completely independent now, don't you? - She jokes running her fingers through my hair erasing the evidence of what we just did. Or something like that. I'm glad I didn't leave a mark on her delicate skin like I feared.
- Well... I live alone in Toronto, I have cars that I never use... - I answer her question as I grab my phone to leave - Now I have a reason to do it.
- What reason is that? - She looks at me in confusion.
- To spend more time alone with this señorita in front of me.
Her angelic laughter is music to my ears and I kiss her deeply making her sigh in pleasure, just before we get serious and open the door to go out in front of all the eyes that are looking at us from different corners as usual.
***
- I love you. - She murmurs tenderly inches from my face. I will never get tired of hearing those words, which have the power to take me as high like reaching for the stars.
- I love you, Mila. - I brush my nose against hers tickling her and she giggles.
Lunch has been great. We were both really hungry when we got to the restaurant; so much adrenaline has us losing our minds. Camila asks the waiter for another round of green tea and whispers to bring us a bottle of wine too, if they have it. I laugh as I see the boy's puzzled expression. Even if they didn't have wine, I'm sure they'd get it any way they could just to please her. The thought makes me grit my teeth....
Camila kisses my cheek over and over again not being able to pull away from me and neither can I, to be perfectly honest. The only thing that is disturbing me and keeping this moment from being perfect is a paparazzi planted just across the street taking pictures of us from a tree. My girlfriend sees him and laughs taking it as a joke, inviting me to relax. I don't want to be a pain so I let it go....
Suddenly, almost at the end of our lunch, one of my songs comes on the radio and Camila starts dancing on her chair looking at me with a giant smile acting like a little girl.
- I wanna follow where she goes...! - She sings excitedly using her crystal glass as a microphone. - I love this song! I'm curious, is it about me? - Her eyes are sparkling like crazy.
- Yes. Didn't you already know that? - I frown in confusion.
- What?! - She opens her mouth like a fish out of water in disbelief. - Honestly, I was hoping you would say no.
- Yeah, everything is about you. They've always been about you. - I assure her, smiling sideways.
- What do you mean? - She tilts her head distracted.
- They're all about you. Like... every song I ever wrote. - I laugh nervously at revealing this to her. - You know... Treat You Better, Mercy, Ruin... all of them... - Her shocked expression is hilarious. - I thought you knew all this time.
- Of course not, Mendes! - She exclaims shaking her head still in shock. - We weren't even together back then, how the hell was I supposed to know? Oh... my... God... - She articulates laughing as the information settles as absolute truth in her brain.
- Mila...
- Now I'm going to listen to them differently! - She interrupts me holding her head in her hands dramatically. - Are you serious?
- Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. - I repeat it to her as many times as necessary until the shock wears off and she breathes calmly. She smiles sideways, looking up at me tenderly. - Honey, the girl in my story has always been you. - I murmur making her blush.
- And look at us now... - She sighs raptly caressing my cheek. - I love you, Shawn.
- You know I love you too, beautiful. - I kiss her forehead pulling her closer to me. - That will never change. I promise.
***
(A/N): These two... I adore them with my soul.
Up Next: Part 3...