Charlie
"Charlie, mate." I took my eyes off Ren for a split second to let Andrew know I acknowledged his voice. "What's going on with you and Rhylee?"
"What do you mean?" My eyes still on the dragon, my wand in the air, levitating his dinner towards him.
"She seems...distracted." Andrew chose the last word carefully. "And as if she's avoiding you."
"I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders. "Haven't noticed."
"Don't give me that. What's going on?" He persisted.
"I noticed it too. She's a little off lately." John joined the conversation. "What's up with her?"
"As I said, I don't know," I said through my teeth as Ren started paying more attention to us than his meal.
"Has something happen between the two of you?" John didn't stop.
Ren finally jumped for his piece of meat and I turned to them.
"Look, I am not having this conversation for the third time this week." I rubbed my fingers against my temples. "Peter asked me the same thing yesterday. And Evan and Theo the day before and I am sorry to disappoint you but I don't have an answer for you." I went to grab the box with food and walked past them to go feed the next dragon.
I wasn't lying and they weren't wrong. Something was going on with her. She missed work twice in the past two weeks and she has been avoiding me to the point that it was obvious to the rest of our team.
I gave her two days off so she could go to London as she insisted on talking to Nick. I don't know if she did it because I haven't seen her until the second she had to show up for work again.
She doesn't talk to me and if I say something at work, she simply nods her head and follows my order. She never makes eye contact and eats at a separate table from ours. She hasn't been out on a Friday or Saturday ever since that party and she doesn't talk to anyone if she doesn't have to. All and all, she looks completely miserable.
I don't know what to do about it. Peter tried talking to her, being her boss, but she said she was fine. I knew he wouldn't get a word out of her, at this point, I don't think even I could.
I miss her. Her energy at work and her playfulness. The way her laughter fills the room and how she ignites something in my chest when she smiles at me.
I haven't seen any of that since her two days off. I don't know what happened between her and Nick if she ever made it to London. It was frustrating because, for the first time, I felt as if I couldn't read her. The look in her eyes was foreign to me. She didn't feel guilty like that morning when she woke up at my place. She wasn't happy either. She looked tired, to be honest, and full of regret.
I just wish I would know what for. I tried talking to her a few times but she always made some dumb excuse and hurried off to Merlin knows where. I was concerned for her as her co-worker and as her friend. I miss talking to her and going for a run and I hate that she completely isolated herself from everybody and I hate it even more that I am struggling to get through to her.
"Don't you think you should talk to her? Ask her what's wrong?" John disturbed my train of thoughts.
"You think I didn't try that?" I chortled.
"She looks miserable. We have to do something." Andrew scratched his head, thinking.
"I'll try talking to her again. Perhaps I can get through to her this time." I sighed.
If my co-workers were concerned for her, I had to do something about it. They know I still have feelings for her and they are not going to stop pressuring me until she is back to normal. The thing is, I'm afraid that that might not happen. What if I ruined everything by sleeping with her after that party? What if she completely shut down because of it?
I wish I could somehow stop my feelings. The whole thing was getting out of control and I was powerless over it. I was hoping that by her not talking to me, my feelings for her would go away but they didn't and I hated it. I just wanted to be there for her – help her with whatever she is dealing with.
She has been avoiding me to the point that I can't even help her with the dragon case. I don't even know if she made any progress or if she got the trial date yet. I felt horrible about the whole thing and it was making me sick. It also made me desperate and it was time for me to do something about it.
The next morning I woke up and saw that the sky was cloudless. I dressed up quickly and without making myself some coffee like I usually did, I hiked to my sunrise gazing spot. I hoped she would be there so I can catch her alone. It might just be the only time she would be willing to talk to me.
I stopped right before reaching the peak. I was getting nervous. I couldn't help shaking the feeling that this all had to do with me and I wanted to be the last person to make her sad. I wanted to be the guy to put a smile on her face not make her cry herself to sleep.
I inhaled sharply and let the fresh morning air fill my lungs and made my way to the top. I was right. She was there, at our usual spot.
Ever since we became friends and I learned how to control my feelings and got over my guilt, we have been coming here to watch the sunrise together. It was the best way for us to bond and it was private. Even though it hurt thinking that we were nothing more than friends, I longed for those moments again.
I wanted her to be able to talk to me. I, out of all people, know how it's like when you bottle something up and not talk to anybody about it. I wanted to be her friend if I can't be more.
"Thought I might find you here," I said in a soft voice, careful not to startle her.
"I was just leaving." She started to get on her feet.
"Don't." I tried grabbing her wrist to stop her but she stepped away from me.
"Rhy, you have to tell me what is going on." I looked at her but her eyes were looking at everything around me.
"Just...leave me alone, Charlie." She dusted her pants and started walking away.
"I can't do that." I tried snatching her hand one more time and this time I succeeded.
"Yes...you...can." She said through clenched teeth. "Now let go of my hand." I loosened the grip and she took a step backward.
"Okay, that's enough!" I raised my voice. I didn't like it but it made her look at me. She was on the verge of tears and I could sense she was looking for a way to escape. I will not let her get out of this so easily. She can't go on like this.
"What in the bloody hell happened to you in those two days that you said you will visit Nick?" She flinched when I mentioned his name.
"It doesn't matter, Charlie." She spoke after a few seconds of thinking about what to say. Probably to feed me another lie. "It doesn't concern you."
"The hell it doesn't." I took a step closer to her and she instantly took one backward. "I'm your friend and I'm concerned for you. Our whole team is. You have to let us help you."
"Help me?" She let out an incredulous laugh. "The last time I checked I can take care of myself just fine!"
"You don't look fine to me." I bit my tongue after saying that but it was the truth. She looked paler than usual. Her hair was all over the place and she constantly looked tired.
"Thanks for the compliment." She scoffed and started walking downhill.
I ran after her. I can't let her get away like this. She might be done talking but I wasn't even halfway through. I don't care if we both miss work, I am getting to the bottom of this. I put my hand on her shoulder and turned her around. She was skinnier too as if she hasn't been eating for days.
"You will tell me what is wrong or I'm firing you." I had no idea where that came from but I was getting desperate. I didn't know how else to convince her to tell me what was making her not talk to me, be late to work and destroy herself like this.
"Look..." She sighed and bowed her head. "I can't repeat what happened between us, Charlie."
"I didn't know I was coming on to you." I blinked at her. "I just want to talk to you, friend to friend."
"As I said..." She swallowed hard. "I can't."
"You are trying to throw that night in my face and it's honestly insulting." She looked up at my words. "You know I know you better than that so stop lying to me."
"I'm not lying." She rolled her eyes.
"Yes, Rhylee. You are." I tightened the grip on her shoulders. "I want the truth, Rhy." I lowered my tone and lifted her chin for her to look at me but she was avoiding my gaze.
"I went to see Nick." She finally said after a long pause, still looking away. "I told him everything."
"Okay," I said slowly. I wanted her to continue.
"He took it pretty hard." Her eyes started to water as she reminisced on it.
"Did you..."
"Break up?" Her eyes finally locked with mine and the wish of it being true sparked in her eyes. "No."
That made my heart stop.
She was staying with him?
Or should I rephrase it?
He was willing to forgive her?
I mean, good for him, perhaps Bill underestimated him but I can't deny I was hoping that this would be her escape ticket. Somehow, I still thought that we might end up together.
This is a fucking nightmare, isn't it? I can't believe that she was going to stay with him after everything that happened between us. It might only have been one night but I know that neither of us saw it that way.
"He..." She bit her lip.
"What?" I encouraged her to speak.
"He told me that he'll stay with me if I stop talking to you." She blurted out.
I let go of her. She was joking, right? I was in complete shock. He gave her an ultimatum and she took it? She obeyed him. She chose him over me?
She chose him over me...
If the information that they didn't break up broke my heart, then this fucking shattered it.
"What?" I breathed. I didn't know how to respond to such bullshit.
"You wanted the truth and here it is, Charlie." She cried.
"Oh, yes! I see how happy your choice makes you!" I pointed at her face which was beginning to be soaked by her tears.
"What do you want me to say?" She barked at me.
"Oh, I don't know..." I put my hands on my head. I wanted to scream, I was so angry. "How about you admit to yourself that you are not happy with him and move on with your fucking life!"
"You're the one that needs to move on, Charles!" She shouted at my face.
I started breathing faster and I felt as if I couldn't move, as if someone stupefied me. What was going through her head? Why would she want to torture herself so much?
"You're going to say that you're happy with him?" I knew I should stop talking but if we were going to shout in each other's face we are going all the way.
"Don't do this, Charlie." She begged.
"Are you happy with him?" I repeated the question. "Because it sure doesn't look like it."
"You don't understand." She shook her head.
"Then fucking enlighten me, why don't you!" I was the one who raised my voice now.
"How would you feel if your partner told you they slept with someone else? It's only natural in the way he reacted. He loves me and he is willing to forgive me if I do one simple thing for him."
Was she seriously defending him?
"One simple thing." I laughed sarcastically. "Tell me, Rhylee..." I scratched my chin, bowing my head. "Who's your closest friend here?"
There was a moment of silence. Another tear ran down her face. She didn't answer.
"That's what I thought." I bobbed my head. "He asked you to stop talking to me and just like that..." I snapped my fingers. "You obliged. Not even telling me. Not even warning me."
I pressed my lips together. I was so furious.
"Were you ever planning on telling me this? Or did you think I would simply let it go? Ignore the fact that you are late for work. That we are all worried about you. That you lock yourself in your hut the second we are done with work? That's not life, Rhy."
I stepped closer to her again. She was just standing there like a child being scolded by their mother, looking at the ground. She knew I was right. She knew she was making a mistake but she blinded herself, trying to convince herself that she made the right choice.
"When was the last time you were in a relationship?" She asked calmly. "In a serious relationship, with real problems not just a one-night stand with some bimbo from the neighboring village?"
"6 years ago." I bit my cheek.
"Then don't pretend you know what I am going through." She turned around and started walking away.
"You deserve better." She stopped at my words and looked at me over her shoulder.
"Excuse me?" She asked, pretending she didn't hear me.
"I said that you deserve better," I repeated myself.
"Life isn't a fairytale, Charlie. Sometimes we simply can't get what we want." She wiped a tear off her face, her gaze on me just for a second longer before she turned her head and ran down the hill.
I didn't stop her this time. I knew it was meaningless. I knew she made up her mind. But there it was again – the silence that was supposed to be filled with words. Her eyes that were saying she wanted to tell me more but couldn't. What was stopping her? Why was she so determined to stay with him?
I don't know what hurt more; the fact that she gave up our friendship to stay with the guy she cheated on or the fact that I now know I lost her forever. Probably both.
I turned around and sat where she was sitting before and stared into the distance. I wasn't observing the sunrise. To be honest I didn't even notice it. I was distracted by the pain in my chest.
By my broken heart.
By the fact that I will never be with her and I was beating myself with the question...why?
Why did she choose him?