WINTERS POV
I listen at my door and hear mommy's parents walking in.
No no no no noooo!!!!! I can't take it. They can't be here! They scare the actual heck out of me. Something happened with them a few years ago, and it made me terrified of them.
I make sure my door is closed, and run to my bed. It's my only safe spot, and I curl up in the blankets. My heart starts racing like usual, and my breathing starts accelerating. I absolutely hate this. I grab my baby blankie that I still love and use as my security item. It's the only thing that keeps me grounded when this happens. Only that and the weighted blanket mommy and daddy got me for my birthday to help me sleep. I had terrible nightmares about this 'event', that I was worried to fall asleep. When I finally did fall asleep, I would have terrible nightmares, just replaying the entire thing in my head, and then I would wake up in tears. Mommy and Daddy don't know about that. I've just said that I have trouble sleeping when they asked why I was so tired the next day. I heard them out in the entry way and I hated it so much. It's mommy's parents, and whenever they come over I have to pretend that I don't remember what happened and that I'm not having an active anxiety attack the whole time they're over. I hide under my blankets in an attempt to hide from the massive trigger that's invading my safe space. I hear a knock at the door, and I sit up to pretend that I'm not having a massive anxiety attack. I still can't breathe, but I wipe the tears off my face and mumble,
"Yep..."
"Hey Winter, gran-" It's Dad. He opens the door and freezes. "What's wrong??" He asks me with such concern in his voice.
"Nothing. I'm fine." I sniff, trying to control my breathing just enough to pretend that I am ok.
"Winter..." Dad's voice breaks. He closes the door and walks over to my bed. He sits a little ways away from me as to not startle me. He keeps one foot on the ground while sitting on his other foot. He reaches his left hand out but I retract away from him.
"What's wrong??" Dad asks again, staring right in my eyes. I debated for a minute even telling him what's up.
"I-I'm scared!!" I burst out crying, launching into Daddy's arms. Daddy hugs me tightly in his arms as I finally let my emotions go. I sobbed into his shirt as he tried to calm me down. It wasn't working though. I was already having an anxiety attack, and the fact that daddy found me probably made it worse. I could feel him rumbling through my chest, trying to talk me down from how high my anxiety is, but I couldn't hear him. My ears were ringing and I couldn't focus at all. He tries to pull me away from him but I clung on. Now that he was here, I wasn't going to leave my newfound safety. As he realized I was clinging onto him, he changed tactics. He grabbed my weighted blanket and wrapped it around my back. He also grabbed my blankie that I let go of when he came in, and offered it back to me, which I gladly accepted. I couldn't get my breathing under control. Every time I thought I could breathe I would start hyperventilating again. With the weighted blanket on my back, and Dad rubbing up and down my spine, I finally focused on the feelings of weight surrounding me and focus on Dad. When I finally focused, I could feel Daddy's chest rumbling with my song. I usually listen to it on my iPad when they come over, just to attempt to calm me down before I have to face them. Once he finished my song, I was still shaking and super tense, that I still couldn't calm down.
"Winter, focus on me, ok? I'm gonna take some nice deep breaths, and I want you to try to follow me, ok?"
He took quite a few deep breaths and eventually I felt safe enough to follow him. It took me a while but I finally managed to calm down. I'm always jittery for a while, even after I calm down. The way I was sitting, I was mostly sideways against Daddy, so I rocked back and forth in fear. I hated that I was reacting like this, but after two years of hiding it, I'm almost happy that I'm finally getting someone to help me.
"Winter, can you hear my voice?" Daddy asks. I nod once, still trying to recover.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"No you're gonna tell them!" I shake my head, crunching up into a ball.
"Tell who??"
"It doesn't matter! They probably don't even remember what they said..." I mumble.
"Winter, can you look at me please?" Dad asks. I couldn't tell if his voice meant I was in trouble or not.
He pulls me away from him, successfully this time, and I avoid his eyes for as long as possible. He finally pulls my chin up to meet his eyes, in a different way than my trigger. Mommy's mom always does it to me and I hate it, but something about the way Daddy did it made it ok.
"I want to help you. It kills me to see you this upset. Can you tell me what's wrong so we can fix it together? I'm here to listen." Staring at the emotion on Daddy's face finally broke down all my walls of fear and sadness and I finally felt comfortable enough to tell him. I just hope he doesn't tell mom, but especially not mom's parents.
"Mommy's parents are here." I mumble out, trying to find the right words to say. Daddy stays quiet.
"They...." I take a deep breath. I've never really admitted that I still feel the same way about them even two years later. "I'm terrified of them..."
"Does it have anything to do with what they said a few years ago?" Dad questions. I nod.
"And I know you say they don't remember and they probably didn't mean it but that doesn't mean I don't! I still remember exactly what they said and I'm terrified they're gonna say it again!" I was getting visibly upset again, so Dad pauses to make sure I'm ok.
"Take another deep breath for me, ok bud?" I take a couple deep breaths and mostly relax. Well, as much relaxing as I can do when the biggest trigger I have is invading my safe space.
"Ok," Dad begins. "Do you want to talk to them?" I shake my head. I do want to talk to them, but I have no idea what to say.
"Ok. I'm guessing you don't want to see them either?" I shake my head again. "Alright. Are you ok to stay in here until they leave, or would you like me to stay with you?"
"I'll be ok. As long as they don't barge in again."
"Ok. I think it might be helpful for you if you put your headphones on and listen to some music or maybe watch a movie or something, ok? It'll get your mind off of everything until they're gone. They shouldn't be too much longer, they were just dropping something off. I will make sure they don't barge in, and I'll try to get them out as soon as possible, ok?" I nod. I'm so glad Daddy understands me.
"Don't tell mom..."
"Don't tell her what?" He inquired.
"That I'm scared of her parents...." I mumbled. He breathes in, as if about to say something, but then half-nods.
"You should cuddle up in your bed and I'll be back when they're gone."
"Can you get my headphones? They're on the ground..."
"Of course Buddy." He smiles. He grabs my headphones and hands them to me. He gives me a quick hug and a kiss on the forehead before ruffling my hair and walking out the door.
I put on my headphones and connect them to my iPad. Since they're noise cancelling, they made everything quiet, even though I didn't have any music playing yet. I snuggle up in my blankets, with my baby blankie by my face, and play my song again. I let it loop a few times before I drifted off into sleep.
RYANS POV
It broke my heart when I went into Winter's room. Yeah, I noticed he was acting weird when his grandparents were over, but I always thought it was the introvert in him. No, I don't agree with his grandparents on most things, the most prominent being the way they try to parent my kid.
There's a big difference between parents and grandparents, and one is a whole heck of a lot less grand than the other.
I left Winter's room to hopefully shoe them out of the apartment. I could see it in his eyes even after I calmed him down how anxious and scared he was with just hearing them in the kitchen. He told me not to tell Cat, but at this point I think I have to. If I saw him like that today, I can only imagine how long he's been hiding that from us since the incident 2 years ago.
"Where's my little man??" Cat's dad asks me as they know I went to get Winter.
"He isn't feeling good." I lie. "I made him lie down, we'll see if a nap will solve it." I joke.
"Aww poor Win-Win! Ya know, if I were you, I'd give him a spoonful of molasses and tell him to get over it!!" Grandma states. See what I mean? She's trying to parent my kid, and what she said makes no sense. Try giving a kid molasses while they're having an anxiety attack and see what the heck happens. I'll bet you it won't do anything. Heck, they probably don't even know what an anxiety attack is! Cat and I have both had our fair share of anxiety attacks, and it breaks my heart to watch my kid go through the same thing. I know how terrible they are, and I hate that Winter had to deal with that.
"Well, we should head out now, we have to get back to Dingo!" Grandpa states. Dingo is their dog, who they're both obsessed with. From what I've heard, Dingo is at the vet getting some tests done, and knowing them, they probably forced the vets to take every test possible, which the vets finally had enough of and kicked them out.
Entitled brats...
"Alright, see you guys later!!" Cat gives each of them a hug, and I reservedly do it too. They leave the apartment and I go over to Cat to talk to her.
"Hey, can I talk to you about something?" I start.
"Of course! What's up?" She asks.
"It's Winter..."
"Oh, is he ok?"
"Not really... I went into his room to get him to say hi, but he was having an anxiety attack...."
"What?!"
"Yeah...."
"Why??"
"Well, he doesn't want me to tell you, but he's absolutely terrified of your parents. It took me at least 10 minutes to calm him down, and even then he was still shaking and scared."
"Buddy!! Why didn't he tell us?!"
"I don't know. He even pretended he was fine when I walked in. It makes me wonder how long he's been hiding it from us."
"Poor buddy! But it was about my parents??"
"I guess so. He mentioned them talking to him 2 years ago. Something about how he knows they don't remember what they said but still being terrified. I don't know it broke my heart."
"Mine too! I understand they're not easy to deal with, but the fact that he's having anxiety attacks whenever they're here breaks my heart!! Why didn't he tell us?"
"I don't know. Maybe because they're family and he thinks that because of that we'll force him to be around them?"
"Who cares that they're family! Yes, they are my parents, but if he's reacting like that every time?? Something needs to happen to change that... How should we help him??"
"Honestly I have no idea..."
"Should we go talk to him?"
"Sure. He didn't want you to know though, so I'll go in first and see what he says. I'm not even sure if he'll be calm enough for us to talk. I was trying to get him to explain it earlier and he kept freaking out."
"Ok, sounds good." I walk over to Winter's door and knock. I don't hear a response, so I walk in. I realized he probably had his headphones on, so he couldn't hear me. When I walked in, I realized he was asleep. I sit on his bed and he gradually wakes up. I rub his back to wake him up more, and to let him know I'm here.
"Hey Buddy, they're all gone now." I mumble. He sits up and takes his headphones off, yawning to adjust to the real world.
"How are you feeling?" I ask gently.
"Better I guess..."
"Can we talk about earlier?"
"Ok..."
"I just want to know a little bit more. Mom wants to too." I urge Cat to walk in, and she sits down beside me. He looks at me upset that I told her, but I continue talking.
"Can you explain just a bit more about the situation?"
"Ok.... I mean.... I'm scared of them. I'm sorry, but I am. I still remember exactly what the said to me 2 years ago, and whenever they come over I freak out. I think they're gonna say it again, or something worse, and I can't handle it."
"And this is every time they come over?" Cat asks casually. Winter nods. He finally makes eye contact with me, and I could still see the fear in his eyes, even after he's had a chance to calm down.
"Please don't be mad..." he mumbles out.
"Bud! Why on earth would we be mad at you?" I ask.
"Because I'm terrified of mommy's parents! Why wouldn't you be mad!" He retaliates, looking away when he didn't want a response.
"What can we do to help you be less scared of them?" I question. He shrugs. I know he knows what he wants, he's just too scared to say it.
"Bud, look at me." I stare right into his eyes as he focuses on me.
"I want to help you. What can we do to help?"
"Don't wanna talk about it..." he turns away and hides back in a little ball.
"Buddy!" My voice cracked. I want to help him so badly, and yet he isn't telling me how I can help.
"Why not? We want to help you!"
"Because it's embarrassing!! The fact that I'm scared of my own grandparents?! This is why I never told you, because I don't know what can help and I don't know what to do." He turned away from us and laid down, probably hoping we'd leave. I wasn't leaving until I solved this. I adjust my body and lay down in front of him, brushing some of his hair out of his face.
"Bud, I know how hard it is to deal with this. I am so incredibly sorry that you had to deal with this. You are way too nice to the world for that to happen to you. And I want to acknowledge the fact that they suck. What they did was absolutely not cool. But I am so incredibly proud of you for dealing with it. I know it hasn't been easy. It makes me sad that you felt that you couldn't come talk to us about it though. I don't care that they're mom's parents, what they did was not cool, and if that means we have to talk to them, we can do that. I know you know what you want. What can we do, together, to make you feel less scared of them?"
"Well...." He mumbles. "I do want to talk to them, I just have no idea what to say... what do you say to your mentally abusive grandparents? I don't know, and I'm terrified to even try! What if they say it again, or maybe something worse?!"
"How about we come up with something together. We'll be right there when you talk to them, and I promise you they won't yell at you. I'll make sure of it, ok?"
"Ok. B-but... not now..."
"Of course not now. They're not even here anymore. We'll wait until you are ready, ok?"
"Y-you know how I had trouble sleeping?" He asks me.
"Yeah, that's why we got you this, right?" I pull his weighted blanket over him, brushing the corner of it on his face. He smirks and nods, and then continues.
"Well.... I never really told you why...." I gave him a "I'm listening" look, and he takes a breath to explain.
"Well... I kept having dreams... about them... and they wouldn't stop... and I would umm... wake up and umm... have a-a panic attack..." tears started welling in his eyes, and I wrap him in a hug.
"I hated it!!" I look up at Cat, as she can only hear a bit of the conversation. She looks heartbroken, and I motion for her to lay down behind him. Together we make a "Winter sandwich" and we try to comfort him as much as possible. He was buried in my chest and I loved the feeling of him needing me. I hated that he was upset, I'd do anything to help him. Cat was rubbing his shoulder with her fingertips, smoothly trying to calm him down.
"I-it's all my fault!" Winter cries.
"Buddy, hey!! This is not your fault. Nothing is your fault!!" It didn't matter what I said right now. He wasn't able to stop crying. The "Winter sandwich" got tighter and eventually Winter fell asleep. Cat and I did too after I pulled his blankets over us.
A while later, I woke up. Naps always manage to disorient me. I was in a daze before I realized where I was and what happened before I fell asleep. I look beside, well, in front of me to see Winter still asleep, and Cat awake looking at her phone, sitting up on the bed. Winter looked so peaceful sleeping. I look at the clock in his room and see that we've been asleep for a little over an hour, and it's close to dinner time.
"Good morning." Cat smiles at me. I smile back.
"Morning."
"It's almost dinner time, what do you want?" Cat asks me.
"I think Winter should pick... also I think we should wake him up soon, he already had a nap earlier, when they were here."
"Good idea. You do it." I rest my head down on my arm and stare at Winter asleep. I start gently rubbing his back, mumbling,
"Winter.... buddy.... time to wake up." His eyes slowly start to open, heaving a big sigh to adjust to the real world. He just lays awake, staring at me. I smile.
"Mommy was wondering what you want for dinner?" I mention. "Do you have any ideas?"
"Pizza?" He suggests.
"Pizza. I like it. Any specific kind?"
"Cheese." He smirks. I knew he was gonna say that, it's the only kind he'll ever eat.
"Sounds good bud." I smile.
"I'll order that right away!" Cat smiles. While she was busy with ordering on her phone, I check in on Winter.
"How are you feeling bud?"
"Better I guess..."
"Wanna talk about anything?"
"Not really..." he mumbles.
"Ok. But you promise you'll talk to us when you're ready?"
"Yes."
"Ok bud." I give his forehead a kiss before I motion for him to sit up with me. I wrap him in a bear hug.
"Please don't feel like any of this is your fault, ok Buddy? You did absolutely nothing wrong."
WINTERS POV
It felt good to get that kind of validation from Daddy. I've been trying for years to tell myself it wasn't my fault, but every time I would doubt myself. Hearing it from Dad makes me want to believe it. He didn't put any pressure on me to explain myself, he finally understood. He didn't even give the "tHeYrE fAMilY!" excuse.
Family should not act like that.
"Wanna watch a movie tonight?" Dad asks me. I nod.
"Which one?" He adds.
"Mmmm.... Hamilton?" I suggest.
"Good choice bud. Wanna help me set it up?"
"Sure! In the living room?"
"How about my room today?"
What?! We never watch movies in mommy and daddy's room. We always watch them in the living room. The few times we have watched movies in Mommy and Daddy's room, either I was sick or I was little. It's been a long time. I light up when he mentions his room.
"Really?!" Both Mom and Dad laugh at me.
"Are you really that excited about watching it in my room?!" Dad chuckles.
"What?! Your room is the best! The bed is giant and comfy and when we snuggle up in the 800 blankets it feel like a big blanket burrito and it's the best!!" I ramble. They just continue laughing at me.
"Well, let's go set it up!" Dad says, standing up off my bed. I jump off the bed making it shake, in turn making Mommy shake. Daddy and I go into their room and I help him set up the movie on the screen. I heard Mommy in the kitchen, grabbing some plates and drinks. As the movie started loading to play, I heard a knock at the door.
"The pizza's here!!" I exclaim. Dad just laughs. I climb into mommy and daddy's bed, sitting against some of the many pillows by the headboard. Dad comes and sits beside me, copying my position. He pulls the blankets over top of us, snuggling me into him. Mommy comes in with the pizza and everything, setting it down on the bed. She quickly serves us the food and then copies our position beside me.
As Hamilton played on the TV, eating my favourite food, beside my favourite people, I completely forgot that they were here today. One I was don't my food, I leaned my head in Dad's shoulder, watching the musical unfold. Eventually the movie was done, and I was asleep, snuggled up in bed between Mommy and Daddy.
A/N- This is in no way explaining Winter's grandparents (/Cat's parents). This was solely based off of personal experience :)