The cold winter had slowly turned to spring and the beautiful spring had turned to another hot summer. That hot summer had also left and in came the rainy season.
Time was flying by for some and for some it felt like time had stopped. For Baekhyun time was flying by. He was traveling none stop to different countries, handling so much work Yunho put on him with hardly anytime to rest. He still kept in contact with everyone through calls and messages. He couldn't visit and he knows only calls and messages aren't enough. Even though he is busy as heck, he worries a lot about a certain someone. But he has two very trusty informants, Jaemin and Taehyung. They both secretly give him all the information he needs and are acting as his eyes so he can nag at Jian when she does something bad over phone. He also is worried about grandma because according to Taehyung her health is deteriorating. But Baekhyun's schedule is too busy that he can't do a thing even if he wanted to. He has decided after this work trip he's on in Berlin he's gonna go back to Korea and take a small rest and utilize this time to go and visit Goyang.
For other people the months felt like eternity. Jian felt like time had paused and she was in a boring cycle of studying and doing well at school. She even started questioning herself if all of this is really worth it. Her grandma's health was also a massive concern. Jian doesn't even know how bad it is because her grandma acts as if nothing is wrong because Jian's senior year finals are here. Jian also had a lot of other worries. She's turning twenty aka of legal age in a few weeks, her college entrance exams are knocking at the door, everyone expects her to get into a good college including herself. All of this is really stressful and most of all she acts like she is okay but deep down even she knows that she misses him.
He still nags at her over phone sometimes but these few minutes of calls one a blue moon just isn't enough for her.
Baekhyun was the only person that she had an emotional bonding with. She doesn't know how and why but he was the only person that could get through the high wall she had built around her heart. He was the only person that could put her back in her place and make her do what is right for her...well..after her sister that it.
All of this hurts Jian's ego, the fact that a man that she knows for barely a couple of months has this big of an effect on her. But what can she actually do?
Today was just one of those days where Jian felt shit about everything. She didn't feel like doing anything, she didn't feel like studying, playing games, watching movies anything. Everything felt useless and annoying. She felt like absolute shit since the morning. School was boring as hell, Jaemin had to go to some family gathering after school, Jian had to go to the academy alone. Academy also felt like hell so she dipped in the middle of it without anyone noticing. She knows that her exams are near and she shouldn't be bunking classes but today she just doesn't feel like doing anything. She went to a nearby cafe and stayed there for a bit, drinking an iced americano and scrolling through her instagram. She also scrolled through her YouTube feed, nothing that caught her eye. Jian sighed and put her phone down and tried to study something at the cafe instead, that plan also failed. So Jian gave up and got out of the cafe. The wind was blowing nicely, the air felt nice. Jian didn't know why she suddenly felt like she would feel a bit better if she took a long walk. Other than that she has no other idea to make this shitty day better.
So Jian did just that. She took her bag and stuffed airpods in her ears and started walking as far as she could while jamming to the music. The sun was just setting. The sky was a beautiful shade of purple, the wind was calming and soothing. Her mood was getting slightly better as she walked around the park, around her academy and went to a lonely street. She always comes here when she has a lot to think about. This street is really long, leads to a bus station but is mostly a lonely street.
After awhile of walking something terrible happened. Lightenings started. Jian's heart started beating faster. It is the rainy season but the forecast had said the sky would be steer clear today. That's why she dared to go out on a walk alone. Jian quickly searched her bag to get her umbrella. But her heart skipped a beat when she realized that she must've left her umbrella at the academy.
Jian cursed under breath and looked around, the street was lonely and the sky had turned quiet dark in a couple of seconds. Rain would start pouring any second now.
Jian cursed under her breath and booked to the bus station to get shelter from the rain as fast as she could. As she sat on the bench alone at the bus station, she realized that the bus would come after 25 more minutes. Jian again cursed under her breath. This day really couldn't get shittier.
This year Jian had been holding on pretty well even in the rainy season, mostly because she was mostly around people at the time of the rain falls. This is the first time she's alone and it is scary. Very scary. Jian doesn't know if she can pass this rain fall without having a panic attack.
Right that second rain started pouring down and not even the sound of music could keep away the sound of rain from her ears. Jian was already starting to feel her brain not functioning, this is not a good sign. She tried to close her eyes and hold on as long as she could by trying her best to think about something else. She did pretty well this time, she held on for long. But nonetheless at some point she stated getting flashbacks, she started hearing her sister's voice, especially her last words..it was hell.
Jian-ah, I'm sorry..
Jian could bear it, she got down from the bench and crouched down in front of whole shutting her eyes close and placed her hands on her ears over the air pods, nothing was helping.
There was no way in hell Jian could stay like this till the bus comes, she might faint before that. She got her phone out and quickly dialed Chenle's number to see if he could come and pick her up. He didn't answer the phone making Jian remember that his phone was broken and Jian didn't have number of his parents.
Jian only had one option left. She picked up her phone and dialed the person she wishes was present her the most. He did say he was going to awfully busy today with a very very important mission but he also had said that he's gonna be available for her and she needs him so much right now. She needed to hear his voice, needed his encouragement.
Jian decided to be selfish this time and called him. Jian was begging him to pick the phone up. The phone was ringing but he wasn't picking up. Jian again shut her eyes close and turned her head to the ground.
Jian was about to lose hope but then a miracle happened. She opened her eyes when she heard a very familiar ringtone coming front nearby. When she opened her eyes she saw a pair of familiar black sneakers right in front of her. Jian's heart skipped a beat when she quickly looked up at the person whom this sneakers belonged to and saw the person she needed the most right now.
Standing in front of her, with a fancy white umbrella, a black cap and a very warm smile was none other than Byun Baekhyun.
His smile grew wider when she looked at him,"Hey, problem child."
Jian didn't know if this was a dream or not because being alone at the bus station like this in pouring rain and Baekhyun showing up out of the blue with an umbrella like this felt like nothing but a dream or a very cliche movie scene. But Jian didn't care.
A very genuine smile formed on her lips when she saw him. And this time she didn't try to hide her smile or hide how happy she actually was seeing him.
"Hey."
Baekhyun offered his hand to her,"Get up."
Jian didn't protest. She held his hand that spread warmth all throughout her cold figure and got up. She quickly took her airpods off. She had a thousand of questions to ask him but for now all she could do is stare at him without uttering a single word.
Baekhyun was the first to break the silence,"Seems like someone was bunking class and got in some real trouble,"He then shook his head,"Disappointed."
Jian chuckled, forgetting her emotionless image,"How'd you find me, Baekhyun?"
Baekhyun smiled,"I was just passing by and saw a huge neon blue head in the corner shining even in the darkness..so I got curious and came here to see that the head actually belongs to you!"
"My hair is not neon blue, Mr.Boomer."
Baekhyun chuckled,"I kinda missed hearing that."
Jian really didn't know why she felt so happy. Her heart felt so much lighter. The dark road seemed not so dark anymore, she couldn't even hear or see the rain anymore. The only thing she could focus on was him and only him.
"Shall we go home? I'm kinda starving,"Baekhyun asked.
Jian nodded,"Let's go. Let's go home."
She quickly picked up her bag and got under the huge umbrella with Baekhyun.
As they were walking in the road side by side under the umbrella Jian finally managed to ask,"I thought you were in Berlin or whatever and carrying out some very important work, when did you even come back?"
"I came back last night. I'm on a break. And the very important mission I talked about is coming to Goyang and eat grandma's kimchijjigae. It really important to me, you see."
Jian nodded,"At least your taste at something is good."
Baekhyun shook his head in disappointment,"I came back after so long shouldn't you be a little nice?"
Jian shrugged.
"Again, you wouldn't be the trouble teenager I know if you did,"Baekhyun chuckled.
Jian also did,"So..how did you actually find me? Here at the bus stop?"
"Oh..ma.."
"Don't say magic you boomer."
Baekhyun again shook his head,"You're no fun, Jian. But anyway I went to your academy to surprise you but instead I was the one that was surprised knowing you freaking dipped. Jaemin had told me that you felt like shit the whole day so I thought you would come to take a walk here even though I forbade you a million times but guess what I see here?"
"You know me too well and that's an issue,"Jian said,"And Na Jaemin should stop relaying my information like it's nothing."
"Shouldn't you be thanking me instead?" Baekhyun asked.
"Yeah..I guess, tha.." Thunder roared startling Jian. She tried to play it off cool and continue but thunder roared again, and again..continuously. Rain started pouring harder. The sound of rain was also messing with her. At point Jian couldn't take it anymore so she grabbed the hem of Baekhyun's T-shirt.
Baekhyun noticed it and smiled warmly. To divert her attention he said,"Do you wanna listen to my favorite song?"
Jian looked at him and said,"Is it love is an open door from Frozen..I swear to God I heard you sing it so many times I'm sick of it.."
Jian got flashbacks to the time he would be shouting 'Love is an open door' at their home during random times of the day. And it annoyed Jian to her core making her hate both Elsa and Anna.
Baekhyun shook his head,"No, it's really my favorite song."
Jian was curious and Baekhyun smiled before starting to sing. And that song really took Jian's mind the rain and thunders off completely and travel into another dimension. She started feeling so many emotions and she didn't know what even were most of them.
"When the rain falls and the music flows,
I think of you,
The night when you left,
It was raining like this,
Again I stand in the rain today
And let the day pass by,
Oh! Like beautiful music
Our love story,
Comes with pain just like rain."
Baekhyun sang the whole song. Baekhyun's beautiful voice resonated in her heart. The lyrics hit home and she could relate to it so much. It reminded her of her loving sister whom she loved the absolute most but she ended up leaving her on a day when it was raining heavily. Jian couldn't hold her tears back so she let them fall slowly. She wasn't in panic, she wasn't feeling traumatized, she just missed her. Baekhyun's song was bringing back memories of Nina but was also comforting her in a weird way. Jian couldn't explain what and why this was happening.
Only if she could go back and tell Nina how much she loves her things wouldn't probably end that way.
After Baekhyun ended the song Jian quickly wiped her tears and cleared her throat. She missed the fact that Baekhyun had also let out a single tear. This song hit home to him too. And that song left both of them feeling sentimental as hell.
"Umm..you..your voice is beautiful,"Jian said honestly. It sounded angelic.
Baekhyun smiled sadly,"Yeah I know. This is probably in my genes. My mom was a singer."
Jian looked up. This is the first time he has mentioned anything about his real family.
Baekhyun sighed,"I learnt that way later in life, after she had passed away. After I finally got out of orphanage.."
Jian's heart dropped. What? What did he just say?
Baekhyun could feel Jian's Shock, he just chuckled and said,"Listen Jian-ah, like you I also used to hate rain. I probably told you this once. It was because when I was only four years old my mother had left me in an orphanage in a heavily raining night."
Jian was speechless.
Baekhyun continued,"I grew up in the orphanage. I honestly hated it. We weren't allowed outside of the orphanage, it felt suffocating and it only got worse when rain fell. I used to feel like I'm not enough, I was the problem, I made my mom's life hell so she abandoned me. I absolutely hated my childhood."
Jian nodded. This is why he is so obsessed with being free, not getting caught by the police because beating locked up would bring back memories of his childhood.
Baekhyun chuckled again,"As I thought of myself as the problem I started to change myself, I tried to get along with everyone I could. I even developed some small tricks to show others to break the ice. But even though I had so many friends in the orphanage..I felt lonely?"
Jian nodded. She understands.
"I.."Baekhyun's voice broke. Jian slowly held his hand, not knowing what else to do. Baekhyun didn't take his hand back and smiled sadly while saying,"At the age of twelve I..snuck out of the orphanage....it was raining heavily that night. That was the night my fate changed again. I met my guardian..Yunho hyung. Stuff went down that is just a long long story and is one of the most memorable nights of my life. Anyway...he took me in. And my life in the world of crimes began. It honestly distracted me from the emptiness I felt inside."
Jian listened to him as he spoke his heart out. He seemed like he needed to say this out loud to at least someone.
"After a few years..as the emptiness didn't go away..I decided to search for my mother. I wanted answers of why she abandoned me. Yunho hyung tried to stop me saying I will only get sad if I see her living her best life in a huge mansion without me. But I still looked for her. And the reality was sadder than it seemed. I honestly regret searching for answers. That night.." His voice broke again.
Jian squeezed his hand to reassure him. And he continued,"That very rainy night when she left me..was the last night anyone had seen her. She had just disappeared into thin air. I really couldn't find her anywhere. But I got to know the reason why..my father..well..he wasn't the most amazing man and was turning violent. My mother had had enough of his bullcrap and she was only trying to protect me and herself. Yeah..that's why I ended up at the orphanage and only God knows where she is or even if she's alive. I just wish she took me with herself, wherever she went."
Baekhyun paused before continuing,"And my father..he's alive. He seems to regret all the shit he's done. He was also searching for me and my mother but there's no way in hell I am going to that monster that made my mother disappear. I to be very honest wanted to kill him for ruining my life, but seeing him suffer alone made me..back away."
"So you let him go?"
"No," Baekhyun chuckled,"I stole his most prized possession, his golf club."
Jian was taken aback,"You did what?"
"Come on, I had to take revenge somehow."
Jian shook her head,"That's such a You thing to do."
Baekhyun nodded and sighed in relief,"Woah this actually feels good to share this with someone. I'm sorry for dumping so much of my shit on you out of the blue, I honestly didn't plan on doing it..I just wanted to take your mind off of the rain and.."
"It's okay, Baekhyun. Thank you for telling me all that."
Who knew so much pain, secrets and emptiness was hidden behind the bright, outgoing and extroverted personality of Byun Baekhyun? Jian finally knows the reason she felt so close to him. They both lost someone they loved with their whole heart during heavy rainfall, they both feel empty and lonely under their masks. They both were two very broken individuals. That's why Baekhyun could tell his story to Jian.
Jian sighed,"Baekhyun-ah, I..I lost my sister in a rainy day. I came back home from a very good and successful day at school and saw my sister standing on the railing of our rooftop. I quickly ran up in the rain and called her name. She just turned around a last time and said 'Jian-ah, I'm sorry' and jumped. Her words keep ringing in my ear, I feel like all of this is my fault. And after she passed away..my father seemed..relieved? I just couldn't take it anymore. All she wanted to do was get his attention, praise, acknowledgment. But this was what she got? I felt angry, lonely, empty..I felt like I was going crazy. Only if I could reach the roof one second earlier.."
Jian couldn't stop tears streaming down. It felt good to let the story out. She has never told anyone the story. She feels lighter. She isn't just sharing the story because she feels obligated to after he told his story. She did this because she actually wanted to. She felt comfortable around Baekhyun. She had told Baekhyun she would tell him her story herself when she feels like it, seems like today is finally the day.
Baekhyun squeezed her hand,"Thanks for sharing this with me, Jian-ah."
"Thanks for listening, Baekhyun."
Baekhyun nodded,"Anytime. Oh! I didn't plan on today being so so sentimental. I just wanted to make fun of you and nag you but oh well."
Jian nodded. They had laid out their deepest secrets in front of each other without any plan of doing so.
They kept walking in silence for the next couple of minutes, not realizing that they were still holding each other's hand. It just felt warm, comfortable and reassuring. Even the silence felt comfortable. Jian didn't get scared of the sound of the rain anymore.
They had soon reached the front of the house. Baekhyun finally let go and folded his umbrella. Baekhyun was about to get in the house when Jian held his hand again and turned him to her. Baekhyun raised his eyebrows.
"Umm..let's not be all sappy after we get inside the house, okay? You came after so long, I don't want our little sob sesh to ruin the vibe inside and make grandma worried."
"Deal, we will forget everything that just happened!"
Jian nodded,"And I have one final question to ask you."
"What?"
"Um..do you still..feel..you know..lonely?"
Baekhyun smiled as he felt her palm tighten the grip on his palm unknowingly,"No Jian. I don't. What about you?"
Jian bit her lip and thought to herself for a second,"Honestly..I don't know yet."
Baekhyun smiled warmly while patting her head,"It's okay. Take your time and think about all this."
Jian nodded. Baekhyun was again a jug to get in but Jian stopped him again.
"One more thing..you really don't have to change your personality to fit in with others. I think you shine the most in your real, annoying, nagging, loudass self. So yeah..don't change yourself."
Baekhyun knew even she felt embarrassed about what she said. So she quickly ran in the house with red tomato cheeks.
Baekhyun stood there smiling. Only if she knew how much what she said had meant to him. All his life he had waited for someone to see his real personality and be cool with it. And his real personality comes out the most when she's around. So that is a big big thing for Baekhyun.
As soon as they both got into the house they were back at their usual selves, bickering, fighting, nagging. Grandma was really happy to see Baekhyun and had cooked him his favorite meal. She was also so happy when she saw how they both bickered at dining table while eating.
And she knew that even the both of them were happy and beyond content while fighting each other.
Fighting is just a way some people express their feelings.
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A/N:
Hey guys!!
The song I mentioned in this chapter is a song called 'Like rain, like music' by Kim Hyun Shik. Baekhyun had covered this song and I put this song on the media above. Give it a listen if you have time.
This song is really nostalgic to me. This song reminds me of Exo showtime ep 7. The way Lu sang the song there really rings in my heart. Hence this song always held a special place in my heart.
I'm a sappy little bitch I know. 😭😭