"This is as stable as she's going to get." Jackson announced, his eyes lifting from where they had been resting on Emori. "It's time."
The steady beeping of the heart monitor coated the room as Murphy glanced up, his eyes bloodshot and exhausted.
"Jax!" The voice came not from one of us, but from someone out in the Reliquary. I knew before he even entered the room that it was Miller.
I felt a glimmer of relief as Miller ran into Jackson with an emotion-filled embrace. At least I knew that some of the others were okay. But amongst the relief, I also noticed the look of longing that covered Murphy's face, I think it covered mine too.
Both of us clearly wished more than anything that the love of our life had just walked through that door- alive and unharmed. But they wouldn't. Mine was dead while Murphy's laid on the table, inches from her own death.
"Raven got you out?" Jackson asked Miller as the two pulled away.
Miller nodded. "Yeah. She and Wonkru just left for Bardo."
"Without you?" Jackson pressed.
"I'm not leaving you again. Whatever happens next, we stick together."
Once more, my heart clenched. I should have never left Bellamy. I shouldn't have let him leave Sanctum without me, and I shouldn't have left Bardo without him. Maybe he wouldn't have become a brainwashed Disciple if I had refused to leave his side. Maybe he would still be alive.
"I am glad you are safe." Murphy called to Miller. "Now, how about my reunion." His had was still fastened around Emori's limp one.
Jackson gave an understanding nod, untangling himself from Miller in order to rejoin us by the table. "Avery, you ready?" He wondered, pulling on a pair of gloves.
I nodded, pulling my own shaking hands into a pair of gloves. "I'm ready." I assured, but my voice gave away my unease.
If anyone noticed it, they all decided to ignore it. "What can I do?" Miller asked.
Jackson glanced up for a moment. "Hold her steady while I extract the bar. If she moves, it'll cause even more damage. You understand?"
Miller wore a distressed expression as he fastened his hands on Emori's shoulders. "Yeah."
"Avery, the minute the bar is out, I need you packing the wound. She can't lose as much blood as she did before. Got it?"
My eyes met his for a brief minute. "Got it."
"Okay." Jackson breathed. "One three...one, two, three."
The minute Jackson began extracting the bar, the heart monitor began beeping erratically, blood pooling around the wound. And then Emori started seizing.
Her body shook furiously as blood began spewing from her mouth. She was hemorrhaging.
It felt like someone had stolen the air from my lungs as I tried my best to apply pressure to the wound. The bar was still lodged in her torso, proving it almost impossible to stop the bleeding.
"Hey, hey! Come on!" Murphy pleaded, his voice cracking as he leaned over Emori's head. "Come on, baby."
"She's bleeding out!" Jackson exclaimed. "I need to get in there surgically and find the--"
He cut himself off as Emori's body went limp, the heart monitor flatlining as a horrific silence settled across the room.
Tears had pooled in my eyes as I looked up at Emori's face. Her eyes were open, but there was no life left behind them.
"Hurry up!" Murphy pleaded, grabbing Emori's face in his hands. "Please, Emori. Emori, look at me."
Jackson turned and grabbed a syringe. "Adrenaline." He explained before plunging the needle into Emori's chest.
But nothing happened. Emori remained still as the monitor continued flatlining. I buried my face into the side of my arm that was still extended, still applying pressure. Tears soaked my sleeve as I finally looked up.
Murphy was watching Jackson with a confused expression, as if he didn't want to accept what had just happened. "What are you doing?"
Having since stilled, Jackson opened his mouth, but no words came out.
"Do something!" Murphy screamed, lunging forward. "COME ON! Do something! You're a doctor! Please."
I let out a choked sob as I dropped my hands from Emori's body, knowing there was nothing I, or anyone, could do at this point.
"John." I whispered, my voice breaking as I took a step toward him. He looked to me for a moment, shaking his head. "No." He cried, still refusing to believe she was gone. "No."
Taking Emori's face into his hands once again, he let out a quiet cry. "Emori, please. Please." He begged through tears. "Please."
Tentatively, I reached out and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. In seconds, Murphy had spun around and pulled me into a bone crushing hug, his face buried in my hair.
More tears flooded to my eyes as I wrapped my arms around him, holding onto him with all of my might. "I've got you." I assured, my watery eyes landing on Emori's body. "I've got you."
---
Silence had since settled across the room.
Emori still laid on the table, no one having the willpower to do anything with her body. Miller and Jackson stood on one side of the room, clinging onto one another in sadness.
Murphy and I sat on the other side. Our backs pressed against one of the supply cupboards, our hands intertwined.
I knew exactly the pain he was feeling right now. I knew it all too well. If I could provide him any comfort, I would. But right now, I didn't know what to say, I couldn't find the words. Because I was hurting too, and I wasn't sure how to make him feel better when I couldn't even make myself feel better.
Emori had been one of my best friends, my sister. For six years on the Ring, I got to know the person she was. I learned how vibrant and fun she was. How hard working and determined. How kind and gentle she could be.
Our family was facing a great loss with the death of Emori. The world was too.
My eyes had begun to droop slightly, the result of little sleep and an excess of emotional trauma, when Murphy stood. I startled slightly, my hand dropping from his own as he slowly made his way across the room.
I remained seated for a moment, curiously watching as he stopped in front of the instrument tray. Jackson and Miller had both turned, they too watching as he now picked up a scalpel.
My heart lurched into my chest as I pushed myself to my feet in a panic, terrified of what Murphy was about to do.
"John, what are you doing?" I demanded, already making my way toward him.
He ignored me and turned to Jackson, holding up the blade. "Take out her mind drive. Please."
I felt like I was going to be sick. It was now blatantly obvious what Murphy wanted to do, and I knew that if he went through with it...he would die.
Jackson didn't waver. "Please what? Put her mind in your head? We know from Clarke and Josephine how that ends."
"Fine." Murphy gritted out. "I'll do it myself."
I stepped in his path, giving my head a firm shake. "John, no."
His eyes met mine, and he gave me a pleading look. "Avery, move."
"No!" I argued through tears. "I'm not letting you do this."
"Why?" He challenged, his voice barely a whisper.
I let out a teary breath. "Because!" My voice came out a lot harsher than I had intended it to. "You're my brother, John. And I love you. And I can't lose you too. Please don't do this."
Murphy stared at me for a long moment, his own eyes filled with tears as he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Avery. But I have to do this."
"Remember what you told me after Bellamy died?" I challenged, sidestepping so he couldn't get around me. When Murphy didn't say anything, I continued. "You told me not to give up, that you would get me through it. So let me get you through this, please John."
He sniffled, reaching up to quickly wipe his eyes. "If you had the chance to see Bellamy again, if even for a few minutes...would you."
I was quiet for a moment, my heart physically hurting over this whole situation. "Yes." I couldn't lie, we all knew what my answer was going to be.
Nodding, Murphy gave me a look that asked me to understand. "I have to do this, Avery."
With a final long stretch of eye contact, I let out a defeated breath. "Okay." I whispered, holding out my hand. "I'll do it."
He looked slightly taken aback at the full one-eighty degree turn I just took. But after a moment, he lightly placed the scalpel into my hand.
Pushing my shoulders back in an attempt to keep my composure, I walked toward Emori. I was forced to bite down on the inside of my cheek to keep myself from letting out another sob as I lightly turned her onto her side.
The previous scar from where the mind drive had first been put in was still visible, giving me a clear line to cut along.
But as I raised a shaky hand to begin, someone's hand caught my own. "I've got it."
I turned to look at Jackson, he was watching me with gentle eyes as he lightly took the scalpel from my hands. I gave him a grateful nod as I reached up and used my sleeve to wipe the tears in my eyes.
As I stepped away from Emori, Murphy wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side as he silently cried.
I knew as I laid my head against his shoulder, that this would be one of the last times John Murphy and I interacted. Within a matter of hours, he would be brain dead and yet another member of our family would be gone. I barely wanted to think about it- I couldn't.
So instead, I just closed my eyes as warm tears rolled down my cheeks. I was just about done with this life.
-an-
UGH so many sad scenes to write
but guys, oh my god, we're on the last episode!!
im trying not to cry because I seriously cannot believe we're almost done :(
any guesses on what is going to happen?
hope you all enjoyed!
-maddy xoxo