She solemnly swore her smile was Simon-pure.
***
Maya quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, dashing over to the bathroom that sat on the other side of Simon's room.
As soon as she heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, she knew it would be her beloved boyfriend of 5 years.
She switched the tap on, rinsing her arm of the blood and shame from her previous activities. It stung but it wasn't anything she hadn't felt before.
Being let go from her long time job seemed to have the worst affect on her.
She quickly sunk into a depression, rarely leaving the house, spending the majority of the time in her room, covering up any forms of light that wasn't her phone or laptop.
Simon hated seeing her like this. Her days went from work, work, work, to sleep, cry, repeat.
And while he was glad he got to see more of her, she wasn't the girl she used to be. She wouldn't come out with the group. Missing many parties, birthdays. Sending her love through texts and phone calls.
Simon had consoled in many people, mainly Tobi and Freya, two people she was very close with.
Freya had called over for a visit a few times, none the wiser of what was actually happening, but Maya was grateful either way.
Tobi was the same, also coming equipped with ice-cream and a movie to watch.
Everyone just assumed she was just taking leaving her job very hard, but it was more than that.
She suddenly felt like she was now bothering Simon. He had to reschedule a lot of filming to look after his girlfriend, which made her feel useless.
But she couldn't do anything if he wasn't there. If Simon wasn't, it was a guarantee that she wouldn't even eat that day. Spending it in bed, ignoring the continuous pinging of her phone.
But Simon's schedule seemed to be getting the better of him. If he wasn't filming a video with one of the boys, he was filming a video with all of the boys.
He was usually gone early, and came back late. The main sense of comfort she felt from the boy now, was his strong grip around her waist as they slept.
But his absence from the flat took a toll, through no fault of his own.
Which brings us to today.
Her tear stain cheeks hid nothing.
"Babe? You in the bathroom?"
She coughed a little, balancing her voice out. She sniffled, grabbing a piece of toilet tissue to wipe her eyes and nose.
"Yeah"
Simon smiled at her voice. She sounded okay, which was vastly different from what she usually sounded like these days.
"You coming out? I picked us up some food while I was on my way home"
Maya finished drying her eyes, looking over at her arm. The cuts were red and sore. They thankfully had stopped bleeding, but they were very noticeable.
"Yeah I'll be out in a sec"
She looked all around, praying to find a loose hoodie of Simon's, so she could cover her arms entirely.
She internally cursed herself for finding no such clothing. Maya debated just staying in the bathroom. But she knew Simon would get worried and end up breaking down the door.
All of her makeup was also in their shared bedroom, not a dollop of foundation or concealer was around to cover up any mistake she had made.
She tried tucking her arms into her sleeves, but they fell too short for it to look normal.
"Come on Maya, the foods gonna get cold, baby"
The tears once again came to the surface, but she forced them down. Her hands shook as she reached for the door handle.
She opened the door, instantly spotting the boy emptying the bag that contained their food. She searched quickly for a hoodie around the room, seeing one flung to the side by the window, instantly making a dash for it.
Simon saw this, chuckling unknowingly. All he saw was his beautiful girlfriend sprint across the room with a concentrated look on her face.
"You alright Maya?"
He questioned, watching her fling the hoodie over her head and pull on the sleeves to cover up to her palms. She looked adorable in his clothes, something he never failed to mention.
"Yeah, I'm just a little cold"
She lied, earning a confused look from the lad.
"It's like the middle of summer, the flats boiling"
Maya was sweating in the jumper, but didn't want to risk the chance of Simon seeing what she had done to herself.
She could picture the disappointment plastered to his face. All she could play in her head, was Simon bashing into her. Calling her pathetic and a lowlife.
She could imagine being kicked to the curb, finding herself moving back in with her parents. Meaning she would be living hours away from Simon and all of his friends.
All of her friends.
The slight possibility of loosing everything, kept her from revealing her dark secret to anyone, especially the love of her life.
But luckily for her, Simon hadn't seen the reason for her rushing, he was still blissfully unaware of the situation at hand.
She sat down on the bed, next to Simon as he scrolled through his phone. Once his scrolling got boring, and once Maya had layed out all of the food, he placed his phone on the bedside table, and sat directly opposite the girl.
She pulled her hair back into a pony tale, taking one of the plates Simon had brought up with him.
Simon was barely paying attention, looking through what food he had purchased, picking out what he wanted to eat.
It wasn't until a small speck of ketchup landed on Maya's sleeve, did the food he bring become completely irrelevant.
"Sorry, I got it on your jumper"
He chuckled, tutting. She sighed, rolling up her sleeves, meaning things were about to hit the fan.
"Don't worry about it"
He looked up, expecting to see his precious girl with a smile on her face.
For the past few days, to Simon it seemed like she was getting better. Her dimples were more noticeable and she was eating more regularly now.
She wore more clothes, but she was always a more casual dresser than a dresser upper.
But the first thing he saw was a clean line, bordering above the top of her wrist. But close to that line, was another.
And another.
And another.
He panned over to her other arm, it almost mirroring her right.
Then his heart dropped.
Without saying a word, he picked up her arm and searched up and down. Maya looked up, flinching at his surprise contact.
But once she had realised what he was looking at, there was nothing else she could do.
The tears from earlier, now resurfacing and falling freely down her red tinted cheeks.
"I'm sorry Simon, I'm so sorry"
She sobbed, her words coming out as rushed and her breath was short, almost making her gasp for air.
"Why would you do this Maya?"
He was completely clueless to the situation. Who knows how long this had been going on under his nose.
"I only meant to do it once, but it turned into a release thing and I couldn't stop I'm so sorry"
She wept, the shame over taking everything as she lowered her head in her lap. Simon was still holding onto her arm, gently overlapping his thumbs over a what looked liked recent scars.
It sent shivers down his spine, and not the good kind.
To know his girlfriend had been doing this, all while he was out having fun with his friends, turned his stomach.
Maya was ready to be broken up with, her thoughts from earlier replaying in her head. A small part of her thought she deserved it.
Instead, she felt a tear drop onto one of her cuts, making her immediately look up and see Simon in bits.
It was a rarity for Simon Minter to cry. The last time he cried, was over the loss of one of his grandparents, which was a number of years ago. But here he was, the tears streaming.
"Why didn't you tell me you were this hurt?"
He whimpered, wanting to stay strong for her but not being able to contain himself of all of his sadness.
"I couldn't bare letting you down"
She admitted, staring directly into his eyes. Simon shook his head.
"You wouldn't be letting me down Maya. I couldn't never be let down by you. I love you and I wish you had told me sooner. I love you so much"
Her bottom lip was trembling, her body relaxed slightly, Simon's words calming her a tad.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to be a burden when you've had so much to do recently"
He looked back down at her arms, pulling them up and gently placing a kiss on every single mark. The last one being elongated a little. A smile finally appearing on her face.
"Maya, we've been together for 5 years, and not at any point, have you ever disappointed me. I fall more in love with you every single day, flaws and all. And I wish I had found out sooner so I could've spent that time looking after you"
His words were broken, but what he was saying was loud and clear. She nodded her head, finally seeing a reason to stop what she was doing.
Simon stretched forward, placing a sweet, meaningful kiss to her cheek, her smile seeming actually genuine.
"No more of this yeah?"
She nodded her head, silently promising that things would be different.
They spent the rest of the night cuddled up close, Simon whispering words of love and encouragement to her at any opportune time. Maya couldn't imagine going through this with anyone else.
If it was someone else telling her all of this, things would't change. But because it was Simon, she felt that it was doable.
It's going to be a long path for Maya. But knowing she always had the love and support of her friends, family and a loving boyfriend, it was a path she was willing to take.
***
I hope you enjoyed lads.
Like I said in the last one, this was supposed to be a Harry story, but I trailed a little off the original request so I just changed this one to a Simon story, which it why it's so similar to the Harry story in theme.
I have a Will story already written that discusses Mental health, but I'm going to leave that one for a later time because I don't want loads of sad stories in a row.
This is more of a shorter one compared to the others, but it seems more important in a way.
Mental health awareness is so important to me, and I'm glad someone requested this.
2020 has hit so many of us hard, especially young people, which is why I think now more than ever, people need to start taking more care of themselves.
That's all for now.
Bye-bye
🤙💛Xx