EMILY
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Thursday, October 15th
"Hi." I say as I reach the table Lucas is sitting at. It's cold outside even though there's not one cloud to see but only the yellow round ball which sadly doesn't seem to spend any warmth. Lucas sits with his legs crossed on the bench and does some homework. When I look down at his papers it's the assignments we got for English only like ten minutes ago.
He looks up at my words and I can tell from his eyes that he's very surprised to see me here. "Hey." He quietly greets me back and moves a little to the side to make me some space on the bench. I shake my head a little, "I'm not staying. I just wanted to tell you something." I tell him. "Look, I really am sorry for lying to you on Saturday. I felt like I shouldn't tell you.." he immediately says and lays down the pencil he held before.
"That's what I want to talk to you about. You and Margot, are y'all a thing now?" I ask and grab hold on my bag that I carry on my shoulder. I look down to the boy and wait for an answer. I discussed a lot with myself whether I should tell him what the boys told me in the beginning of the week. I feel like that I may shouldn't because it really is none of my business. Then again I really can't stand the thought of Lucas getting fooled by this rude girl with too much arrogance to handle. I don't remember when she got this mean.
For a second Lucas seems a bit taken aback. He blushes. "I, uh, I'm not sure to be honest. We hang out a lot. Kind of?" He goes and it comes off more like a question to me. I sigh internally. Poor boy. Suddenly I change my mind and decide to sit down next to him on the bench. "Then we have to talk." I say.
Again, I spend some time thinking whether I should tell him or not. However, I just realize that I not once thought about how I would tell him, if I decided to. It's a little hard for me right now to think of a way. "Here's the thing. Um. I don't believe Margot thinks that way too. I may be wrong though I mean I haven't talked to her in a while. But Ian and Sam told me that she's said things about you. Things that don't stand for a relationship between you two.". That seemed okay, right?
Lucas frowns and pulls his legs a little nearer. "What things?" He asks. I really don't like being the deliverer of bad news. First and last time. "They told me that she said she'd only be with you to have you doing things for her like homework or helping her to write essays and stuff." I tell him and place my bag on my lap. I hug it to my chest and look at him. "Have you been doing stuff like that for her?" I ask.
He looks taken aback but finally nods his head yes in a slow way after some time "sometimes.". I deeply breathe out. "Listen, Margot is dumb for doing this. I don't know when and why she started to be such a dumbass." I mumble and grab his hand. "Are you sure?" Lucas asks and looks at me with his pretty eyes. Slowly but surely I nod my head yes at his question.
"I can't believe I let that happen... Again." He sighs deeply and rests his forehead in the palm of his hand. The one I'm not holding. "She really doesn't deserve you. I mean only having the idea of setting up our date should've been enough for me to understand that." I say a little more to myself and shake my head. I could beat myself for being so stupid and agreeing to that bet. I should beat myself for being her friend.
Lucas frowns at my last words and looks at me in a confused way, "it was her idea?". I press my lips together. He really didn't know? So I did never tell him that. No wonder he hung out with her when he had no idea what she did to him. I smile a little uneasily and scratch the back of my head. "I-I thought you knew. I'm sorry.".
"It's not your fault." He sighs and shakes his head. Lucas runs a hand through his soft hair and rests both elbows on the table again. "Thanks for telling me." He says and picks up the pen he layed down earlier again. Nodding my head in silence I stand up from the bench. I turn and am about to walk off when I stop in my tracks and face Lucas again. "Listen, if.. if you need somebody to talk to I'm here. We are. You could spend the next break with us or so." I say and smile friendly when he looks up to me.
He thanks me but soon gets back to the homework again. Breathing out I nod my head once again and walk off. The next few minutes I spend searching for the others. I finally find them when the break is already over and we must head to our next lesson.
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The day went on like nothing happened. We finished school, went out for dinner and got back to study for an exam we're going to write on Friday. Lucas did not come to sit with us during the next breaks though. I understand that he may be a little upset right now but I honestly thought he'd join us.
As Ian and Sam had a thing planned with some other friends of them, it was Lizzy and me spending the evening with watching movies and eating some chocolate. It's around 10 pm when the second movie we watched comes to an end.
"Which one now?" Liz asks and stretches her arm up to the ceiling. She takes another sip from her glas of wine before leaning forwards to grab the remote. I shrug my shoulders. "We haven't watched 'the other woman' in a long time." She says and looks back at me over her shoulder.
I tilt my head and shoot her a look, "how suiting. Okay, let's go!". She laughs at me and sets up the movie as I shove another piece of chocolate between my teeth. My mind has been drifting off to Lucas at some moments this evening. I'm watching those romances and imagine him taking me out to dinner, us screaming out our feelings after a huge fight and having an forever lasting in the end. It's dumb and cliche but those scenarios keep sliding in my thoughts.
All of the sudden there's a hard knock on the door. Not just one but a knock that keeps going for the next ten seconds. I jump in my spot when it happens and frown deeply. "What's that?" Lizzy aks and puts her glass down, slowly swallowing the biscuit she's been chewing.
I shrug my shoulders and put my hands on the couch to push me up to my feet. I take quick steps to the door as the knocking doesn't stop and carefully open it. I've only opened it the tiniest bit when the person behind pushes the door further open and steps in. "What the fuck is your problem?". The person turns out to be Margot. There's something cringing inside of me. "My God, what is your problem?! Get the fuck out of here." Lizzy shouts back and gets up from my couch as well.
"Why the fUck did you tell Lucas I would only use him? Why? What was your intention?" Margot asks. Her face is turning red and whysoever I can see there's tears welling up in her eyes. Oh she knows how to act. "What is your intention? You're using this nice boy for no reason!" I respond to her question even though I feel like this conversation is very much unnecessary. She knows what she's doing.
Margot shakes her head, "I am not using him." She says. I can hear Lizzy laugh behind me. "Apparently you do. At least that's what you've been telling everyone since days, sorry if I haven't met the other Margot yet." She jokes and rests her hands on her hip when she stands beside me.
"You don't understand.." Margot starts but I cut her off, "Oh I believe I do understand. You don't care about anybody's feelings but your own. Other people don't matter half as much to you than your bitchy self does. There's nothing on the world you could love more than yourself. You're an immature, arrogant and pathetic woman who'll die alone!". I cringe at myself. Did I really just say that? I'm being so passionate about this situation.
"I l-love him." Margot stutters and holds her right arm. I can now see a tear running down her cheek, leaving a spot that slightly shines from the light of the ceiling. "What?" Lizzy goes, just as confused as me. She's playing isn't she. "Lucas. I love him. I always did."
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't you get it? He's only had eyes for you for as long as I can remember! I needed him to be mad about you so I had a chance.. that's why I set up the bet." She sniffles and starts to carefully run her fingers along her eyes to get the tears away but not ruin any of her makeup. I can't stop frowning and cross my arms over my chest, "and why are you telling everyone you and him aren't in a real relationship?" I ask.
Margot chuckles sadly, "isn't that obvious? He's unpopular, disliked and simply the opposite of the people I normally spend time with. I needed them to believe I think that way so they wouldn't laugh at me!". Oh, now everything makes sense. My God I never knew about that. Margot and I were really close and she never opened up to me about that.
I'm starting to think of memories where Margot actually didn't act like she would normally do and realize that it wasn't her being unnormal but rather saying and doing what she would actually do in that very situations. "Oh that's just pathetic." Lizzy goes, "sorry for your loss but we're having a girls night here. Jesus Christ, leave already!".
I don't reverse Lizzys statement but stand still beside her, watching as Margot slurps back to the door and slowly closes it after exiting my bedroom. I could be wrong but I heard more sobs from her.
Never in the world would I have imagined this scene to happen. "What a dumb excuse." Lizzy shakes her head and goes back to sit on my couch again. I nod my head a little even though she can't see it anymore. Then I walk over to my bed and let myself fall backwards, sighing deeply once the mattress bounces underneath my back, "it's not dumb actually. God, I feel awful!".
"It is dumb to sell us for dumb. Why'd you ever be friends with her?" She laughs and leans her head back to the backrest of the couch. "Shut up! Damn, how could I never notice that she feels that way? How did I look away everytime she didn't act like a typical Margot normally would but rather think she's only been slightly different?". I feel so bad. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I wanted to do good to Lucas but now I hurt one of my friends.
"Em, what are you talking about?" Lizzy asks softly, giving me a confused look as she turns herself more towards me. I sigh and rest my head in my hands. Then I inhale deeply and stand up from my bed again. Biting my lip I take a few steps forward and think for a moment.
Lizzy is not dumb. She knows that I am different from her and can't be everything she searches for in a best friend. I'm not as comfortable in the society as she is. "Margot and I have a lot more in common than I thought. She did trash to Lucas and me but let's take a look from a different kind of view. She was just trying to get her feeling and expectations under one hat!".
"You're believing that crap she tells?" Lizzy goes and grabs some sweets again. I'm nodding my head yes, "I do. I need to think of a way to work this out. Maybe there's still a way to get them back together...?".
My best friend sighs deeply as she walks over to me and grabs me by the shoulders. "Listen, honey. She should've never done what she did. And that's a simple fact. I don't know where that sympathy for that bitch is suddenly coming from but toss it away! You and Lucas will make out in less than two months, I'm telling you. I'll make sure you do!" She says.
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I really wish there was as much gossip in my school as in this one right here
Thank you very much for reading
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