°•∘ save you ∘•°
"She's what, now?", Jay's intense eyes stared furiously towards Bang Sihyuk. They were all currently in an emergency meeting. Well all of them except from Eunsae.
She was at the dorm, with Beomgyu, packing a suitcase with tears rolling down her cheeks and hiccups of heartbreak leaving her trembling lips. She was devastated to say the least. She really felt like she was leaving the best part of her life, the best part of her, behind.
She was leaving.
"This has to be a fucking joke", Heeseung cursed not even caring if there was an older person with them. His arms were so tightly wrapped in front of him that he felt them becoming numb.
"It is, right?", Jungwon looked hurt. Hell, they all looked hurt. They all were sad, and they didn't even want to think about saying goodbye.
Ever since they met her, they never thought they'd say goodbye. Not for a lot of time, though. But still, there they were, preparing themselves to release a statement about Eunsae's hiatus and about the future of the band.
But they had to discuss if they even wanted the band to keep on going without her.
"We're not complete without Moonie", Sunoo said quietly. His brows had been knitted together ever since they entered the office. He knew something big was happening, he just didn't expect it to be this.
"Yeah, we're not Enhypen without her", Riki mumbled while playing with his fingers to avoid looking at the saddened expressions his hyungs wore.
Jake sighed.
"We can't go on without her", his trembling voice stated. "It would hurt too much to feel like we're leaving her behind".
"You have to think this very thoroughly. You're only now gaining recognition, becoming a known group in the industry. It would be counterproductive to just stop right now", Bang Sihyuk stated.
"It is counterproductive that Eunsae has the need to leave, sir", Sunghoon broke the silence. He had been listening up until now but he couldn't just be silent anymore.
He loved her and she was leaving.
"Kids, I know this is hard, but please look at it differently", he pleaded.
Heeseung pursed his lips before another curse left his mouth. It was a sour feeling: knowing that they had to keep going without her.
No one dared look anyone in the eyes, and they stayed silent for what seemed like forever. That's until Sunoo broke down in tears. He really didn't want her to leave, she couldn't just leave him; leave them.
Who would he cuddle? Who would make Riki giggle and Heeseung groan with her puns? Who would have sarcastic comebacks for anything Jay said? Who would hold Sunghoon as if he was the best gift the universe had given her? Who would just sit in silence with Jake and watch the airing drama with Jungwon?
Who would complete them if she wasn't there?
~*•*~*•*~
Eunsae sighed, while she looked up at Beomgyu. He had been there, with her, while the boys were having a meeting. She had made sure Xylon was there to hold them while they broke down, because she knew they would. Just as she felt her soul shattering now.
She knew what the meeting was about, she knew what they would be facing, and she felt so guilty. She didn't want to leave them, but she just couldn't stay. It was too much, life had started to be too much for her and she needed support.
As hard as it was for her to admit it, it was a kind of support that none of the boys could give her. It was a support and a comfort only her mother's arms would provide. And she dreaded that.
She needed mom.
So she followed Beomgyu silently towards the black van after giving one last look inside the dorm. The bedroom where she had had a gossip-pajama-party with the maknae line, the living room where she had held Sunghoon's hand for the first time, the bathroom where she had styled Jay's hair, the kitchen where TXT had burnt a pizza while comforting her when she was sick. She took one last glance out the window, towards the sky that only looked that beautiful from that spot in the dorm.
Would they forgive her for leaving them? Would they forgive her for not saying goodbye?
She couldn't bear to say goodbye.
It would be too painful, too heartbreaking, it would only make it hurt more, and she didn't want to hurt her friends anymore. She didn't want to be a burden, but mostly she wanted them to be happy.
Yes, hell yes she would miss them. But she really hoped they would just carry on. She new they had it in them. She believed in them.
Arriving at the airport, she started crying again.
She had been assigned three bodyguards who would go wherever with her, and accompany her on every step of her hiatus. She was thankful for them. If it weren't for them, she wasn't sure if she'd feel safe climbing on a plane.
"I guess this is it", she let out a shaky breath. Beomgyu just opened his arms and she buried herself in his embrace.
He smelled like vanilla and cinnamon. He smelled like home, and she would miss home so much.
"I'm gonna miss you", she commented with her head still buried in his chest. He nodded, not wanting to say anything because he didn't want her to feel sadder than she already was.
"You're saying it as if you're not coming back", he smiled half a smile while letting her go and grabbing her suitcase to stroll it down the airport.
She just stayed silent. Would she ever come back? Would she ever be ready to come back some day? To be back home?
She didn't know, but she hoped so.
"Would you make sure they read the letter I left under Sunoo's pillow?", she asked.
He locked eyes with her. Was she sure she wanted to leave? Why couldn't she stay with him? He already had started missing her and it was so unfair. Nightmare should be the one leaving, not Moonie.
Not his little baby sister.
"I will", his eyes watered, feeling the enormous void she was leaving behind. He would be so empty without her, not having her around would make him so sad.
She cupped his cheeks, wiping his tears away with her thumbs as if she wasn't crying herself. He smiled softly towards her; even when she was suffering she made sure he was fine.
He would be miserable without her.
"You just wait", she stated with a wide smile. She now had to act.
Even if it hurt like hell; even if every fiber of her body wanted to just wrap itself around Beomgyu and never let go, it was time to go. So she had to act as if it wasn't big deal.
That's the only way she'd be sure Beomgyu would be fine. Yes, sure, he had his band (the other four guys and girl) for him, but she knew he was hurting as bad as she was about this whole situation.
"I will be back before you know it", saying those words broke her more than she'd thought. Lying to him made her sick, yet there she was saying that she'd be back with so much confidence, even when she didn't think she'd be strong enough to do that. "I'll be back and we'll go for ice cream and laugh at Hyuka, okay?"
He nodded silently, not letting her wrists –which he didn't know he was holding– go for a long time. He just wanted to look at her face, even if in his eyes she looked like dog's barf and was red as a tomato because of crying. She was his little sister, his perfect complement. And she had to let her go.
"Say hi to your mom for me", he smiled shyly. She nodded and pecked his tear stained cheek before walking towards the gate.
His heart sunk in his chest, swimming in a pool of sadness and heartbreak.
"And tell her I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't save you".
It's hard to say goodbye.
but the sun will never rise,
If it doesn't set.
(tanya s).
extras.
1. Incorrect quotes.
*readers love the story unfolding and everything is good and happy*
baobab: wHAT IF I MAKE MOONIE SUFFER IN THE NEXT FIVE CHAPTERS?!
okay u get only one incorrect quote bc it's so accurate haha.
rage comments here ---->
also we only have 20 more chapters to go.
would you read a stray kids' added member fanfic too? I'm seriously thinking about it uwu
love you, happy pride, and stay safe!
-baobab.
(Proofread on December 26. If I overlooked any mistakes please lmk).