The big battle is over yet he still hasn't found her amidst all the chaos.
"Natasha, where's Y/N?" he asks his closest team mate.
"Bucky..." she sighs almost sorrowfully? "She-" Nat cuts herself off, something else has gotten her attention. "No," she whispers.
Bucky turns to follow her gaze and sees Tony Stark. The cause of their victory. The two slowly approach, observing his interaction with Pepper and then Peter, he knows that Tony considered him a son. Bucky feels... guilt. He never got to apologise for what he did as the Winter Soldier and now he never will. He, as well as the other Avengers, kneels to honour the brave man, hoping he finally knows peace.
Steve spots Bucky and walks toward his best friend. "Buck..." he whispers as he hugs him tightly.
"Steve... have you seen Y/N? I've been lookin' for her everywhere," he asks desperately.
Steve's eyes shift to Natasha's. She shakes her head subtly.
"I," Steve starts. "I'm sorry, Buck. We-we didn't know. We-"
"Didn't know what?"
"On our mission to get the-the stones," he sniffs. "she went to get the soul stone-"
"What does this have to do with right now? Steve, just tell me."
"There was a price," Natasha adds, her eyes tearing up all over again. "And she... she was willing to pay it. I tried. I tried so hard to stop her. To be the one but she-she didn't let me."
Bucky begins to pant. "What are saying?"
"She's gone, Bucky. She made a sacrifice, for us, for all of us and... I'm so sorry."
Bucky just stands there, staring at nothing. Processing. He barely registers that Steve's arms are wrapped around him again but they're not enough to hold him up as his legs give way beneath him. The one person that kept him going, that gave him life again, that he believed would always be there was gone.
Bucky wakes with a start, sweating and panting. He hasn't had a nightmare since being in Westview – no, that wasn't a nightmare. It was a memory. All his memories are nightmares.
"Sweetheart, what is it?" Y/N asks groggily as she turns to face him.
"Nothing, I'm sorry for waking you, doll." He kisses her softly, passionately as if she's going to disappear if he stops. His hand travels to the back of her head and he feels... a wetness. Bucky frowns, pulling away. "Doll?" He nears his hand to his face to see what it is. Even in the pale moonlight, he knows what it is. Something so familiar from his past life. Blood. "Y/N –"
"What is it, honey?"
He looks back at her but her face is different. It's pasty, almost grey. Her eyes are cloudy and blood seeps from between her lips.
She feels cold.
"No."
He opens his eyes once again but it's day time now, the sun peaking through the closed curtains.
"Wakey, wakey, sleepy head," Y/N smiles as she lifts the duvet from him. She is already dressed for Jazzercise her hair purposefully frizzed and curly and she sports a flashy oversized purple sweater and lilac shorts and yellow sneakers, ready to start the day.
"Wh-what?" he asks, disoriented.
"Are you alright? Are you hot? You've slept in till," she checks her pink and white Strücker watch. "Almost noon!"
He looks down at the sweat dripping from his chest. "Y-yeah, sorry."
"No worries. I think..." she crawls over the bed. "it's..." she finally reaches him. "sexy," she smirks and leans over to kiss him.
"I love you," he smiles, simply gazing into her eyes.
"Get in line," she teases which earns her a slap on the ass. "You're naughty, Mister."
"Whatcha gonna do about it, Mrs. Barnes?"
"You're funny. But, thanks to your sleeping in we have no time for that. You're gonna be late for work!"
"Work?" he asks, frowning.
She gets off the bed and collects the laundry basket from their connecting bathroom.
"It's Saturday."
"No it's not, it's Monday, silly goose," she calls out as she descends the stairs.
Bucky's brows furrow. He's pretty sure it's supposed to be Saturday. He gets dressed nevertheless.
"I need you to just swing these over to Wanda's," Y/N says as she sees him coming down the stairs. "It's just a little something to make her feel better. I heard the twins crying last night, I'm sure no one in that house got any sleep." She smiles and hands him a Tupperware box of lavender and lemon cookies. "Oh, and here's your lunch!" In another box is a sandwich, prosciutto and mozzarella with a hint of pesto aioli!
"Thank you, doll. Love you," he kisses her cheek and walks out the door.
He rings the doorbell of the Maximoff house.
"Bucky?" Wanda frowns in surprise.
"Y/N asked me to drop these by on my way to work." He lifts up the basket. "And I need to talk to you."
"Sure, come on in." He does and sets the basket on the kitchen island.
He catches a glimpse of two children and a dog playing outside in their backyard. He raises a brow. "Let me guess, magic?"
"An oversimplification but yes. What is it?"
"I just want answers. How could you do this?"
"What are you talking about?"
"HYDRA messed with my mind for 70 years and you do this? To me? How could you? You of all people should understand what it's like," he doesn't know when the memories came back to him just that they did.
"Bucky... I don't know what you're talking about," Wanda says defensively.
He shakes his head. "This is dangerous, Wanda. You're hurting people."
"Hurting people? I thought you would understand. All of this... I had to do it. The grief, the sadness, the emptiness. I thought you would get it. You were the only one who lost everyone, too. You know what I feel. I thought you would understand but it's clear you don't. You're not gonna take this from me, Bucky. From us. Westview is better like this. The people here are happier. You and I, we are happier. How could you want to go back to that other place? A place where you and I don't have Y/N and Vision is gone." Her eyes water and her voice shakes. From anger or sadness, he isn't sure. Probably both. Because that's how he feels right now. "This, here, is the perfect life. You get to live through all those decades that you lost while being the Soldier. You get to have new, better, kinder memories of them instead of the torture you lived through. You were all alone and now you're not. Didn't you feel amazing, lighter, when you could see her again? Feel her again? Here, there isn't anything that could hurt her. No responsibilities to the universe, no troubles just... a paradise. Peace. Don't you feel at peace, Bucky?"
She sways him with her pitch because... every single word is true. But that doesn't make it right, does it? "That's... that's not the point." He feels his eyes beginning to water as remembers the hopelessness he felt when Steve and Natasha told him what happened.
"But it is. That's the only point. I wouldn't be doing this if I knew you didn't feel the same as me. We were snapped away only to come back and find out that the person we love... died for us. I can't bring back the dead there but here," she takes a shuddering breath. "here we can have. Her. Back. What's wrong with that?"
Their conversation is interrupted by a rumbling sound outside which they both pick up. Suddenly the dog from outside runs in through the kitchen and stops at the front door.
"Sparky!" the twins yell.
"Something's wrong," Bucky whispers to Wanda.
She opens the front door and Sparky runs out. In the sky outside, they are met with a drone.
"Wanda, this is Captain Monica Rambeau. Can you hear me?" A voice comes from the drone. A familiar one...
"Geraldine?" Bucky asks.
"I just wanna talk, that's it."
"Bucky. Go to work," Wanda commands.
He is about to argue but the next thing he knows he's in the office.
"So you're telling me, this is a type writer, a Rolodex and a calendar all in one?" Norm says sat at a boxy computer. "What else can it do, find me a wife?"
"Eventually, yes," Vision kids.
There is a beeping and trilling as they play with the computer and Bucky merely observes.
"Hey, look! We got electronic mail already!"
"It's just email, Norm," Bucky corrects with a smirk.
"S.W.O.R.D. Top secret communique. Authenticate. Dr. Darcy Lewis' findings regarding Maximoff Anomaly. High levels of radiation present at perimeter. Effect on Westview residents unknown. Please advise," All the people in the office recite then being to laugh. Bucky frowns. The name Darcy Lewis sounds familiar... what Maximoff Anomaly?
"Vision..." Bucky says, unsure of what the synthezoid is thinking.
He lifts his hands to the temples of Norm. "You don't know what that'll do –"
Norm grunts. "Please. Please help me. What day is it? How long has it been?" Bucky walks closer to the two. "Where's my phone? I have to call my sister! She's taking care of our dad, he's sick."
"Norm."
"Where is my phone?" Norm yells out of frustration.
"Calm yourself, Norm. I can't understand what you're telling me."
"You have to stop her."
"Stop who?" Bucky prompts.
"She's in my head. None of it is my own. It hurts. It hurts so much. Just make her stop. MAKE HER STOP –"
Vision presses his hands to Norm's temples again and he calms in an instant.
"Now tell me this. If I send an email, where would I put the stamp?" he jokes.
Bucky and Vision share a look. "What's happening, Vision?"
"I... I don't know." He shakily makes his way back to his chair, shaking his head. "I don't know."
Soon enough the work day is over and Bucky starts his journey home.
He unlocks the door and is met with plenty of food on the table and his gorgeous wife.
"Hello, honey. How was work?"
"It was..." he can never tell her. "it was great, doll. That looks amazing," he smiles his charming smile.
"It tastes even better!"
He puts his bag down and pulls the chair out for her.
How can he complain about being here when here means that he has her back?