One Last Time: One More Time

By PeachesAndReam

10.3K 448 811

Sequel of One Last Time Year 850. The second appearance of the Colossal Titan affected the lives of many. Aft... More

One More Time
To you 2,000 years from now
Love & Hate
Ceremony
Fantasy
Assault on Stohess
The Burning
Farewell
Family
Return
Acceptance
Diary
Meeting
Bonfire
Heart to Heart
Dream
Proposal
Love
A Selfish Decision
Until We Meet Again
Epilogue
Letter to the Reader

Alone

526 25 54
By PeachesAndReam

"Have you ever imagined how your life would be without me?" 

It was unusual for Levi to ask such things, most of the time it was the brunette who would come up with questions like this. She even looks taken back a little. 

It was such a nice moment of peace between the two, the soft wind caressing their faces as their backs touched the grass. The trees around them provided enough shade for both and they had just awakened up from their slumber.

"Yes ... it was sad," Maria responded as she turned her body to face her boyfriend. The word still feels strange but little by little she was getting used to it.

"Have you?"

"Yes."

"And how did it feel?"

"... Angry," Levi holds onto her hand. His face had a small frown and his eyebrows were furrowed. The thought alone was infuriating, he dares to think of living a life where she was not there. 

"I would fight anything ... Anyone who dares to even think of taking you away from me, anyone who interferes with our happiness, I would-"

Maria stops him as she kisses his forehead, the angry look on his face instantly disappears, and instead, the brunette sees Levi's face relax. His eyes softened and his lips had the softest of smiles. 

"I am here Levi," she reassured him, caressing the edges of his face with her hand. "I won't leave you ... I promise."

.

.

.

"Was that ... A lie too?"

Softly opening her eyes, Maria tried to recollect what had happened last night. She couldn't remember much but from what she could recall yesterday of Lance scolding her, she knew it wasn't anything good.

"You are so skinny, do you even eat?"

"This is not how I imagined spending this night."

"If you end up like this again because of him, I swear he is going to hear from me."

Maria didn't know if it was because Lance was a gentleman that he cared about her. Or because in the last month they had developed a nice friendship. Maybe it was both.

She tried to stand up, feeling a little weak from the night before. There was no doubt that she was in a hospital room and that the man in front of her was no other than Lance.

He looks to be in an uncomfortable position. Resting his back on a wooden chair, his head touching his right shoulder and his round glasses almost slipping from his face.

Maria slowly made her way towards him intending to take off his glasses so they wouldn't fall. Very delicately, she grasps the edge of the round glasses but before she could remove them; Lance took her wrist with his hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he kept eye contact with Maria.

Their eyes met for a couple of seconds in which the brunette took a moment to appreciate Lance's beauty. He always looks uptight, even a bit uncomfortable with his medical uniform on. But this morning, he looked more relaxed, his blond hair a bit of a mess, dark circles under his eyes as she was sure he didn't rest well, and his green eyes.

She didn't have words to describe them, but they were beautiful, they could maybe even compete with Levi's.

"Do you know you have beautiful eyes?"

Lance immediately lets her go, trying to cover his embarrassment as he places his arm across his face. He was never good with talking to women, especially receiving compliments from them.

"Are you blushing?" Maria teased, actually finding his mannerisms adorable.

"Of course not! I would never blush by the compliments of an indecent woman like you!" Lance immediately looks away as closes his eyes, trying to give Maria a little bit of privacy.

"Indecent?"

Maria didn't notice before but now that she takes a closer look at herself, she noticed that she wasn't wearing anything underneath the blanket except for her underwear. "Did you see?!"

"No, of course not! I asked my nurse to take off your clothes, you had a very bad fever, and that heavy dress you were wearing wasn't helping," Lance still kept his eyes closed. Not wanting to invade the privacy of the brunette. "But the light coming from the window ... I can see ... and I am a gentleman, so I have to tell you-"

He knew he wasn't making sense and he was only hoping that Maria was smart enough to understand him.

"I see ... thank you," Maria was as well lost of words. She wanted to thank him for taking care of her and also ask for forgiveness because she had ruined his night. "I am sorry about last night ... I ruined your night didn't I?"

"Don't worry about that, actually I hate going to those events ... I am just going out of compromise and because it is interesting to know what others have found," this time Lance turned his chair as he was tired of having his eyes closed. He preferred to give his back to Maria.

"Is there a particular reason why?" The brunette asked as she eyed the room with the hope of finding her dress somewhere so she could change.

"The event is hosted by the Dietrich family ... And I hate them," Lance wasn't one to talk about his past. But seeing that Maria had opened up to him yesterday, it only felt right for him to do the same.

"Years ago, my brother had a secret relationship with their oldest daughter ... and when they found out they sent the rest of the military police to hang him ... They told my family it was because he was found to be conspiring against the king ... But of course, I never believed them."

Listening to the last name was all it took for Maria to remember her and the day that changed her life forever.

"My parents once sent the Military Police to kill the man I was dating ... They said that he conspired against the king, of course, that was a lie."

"My brother would never do that," Lance said again, more to himself than to her. "He was a good soldier and ... I know that."

"I am sorry to hear that," that was all Maria could mutter. Silence surrounded them, it was a bit awkward because Maria couldn't see Lance's face and she couldn't even guess what he was feeling.

"Anyways, you shouldn't feel bad ... because ... I threw your dress in the trash by the way," Lance interrupted the silence.

"You what?!"

Unconsciously, Lance turns around, his eyes laid on the silhouette of the brunette. The sunlight shaped the curves of her body and he couldn't help but remember the scars on her.

Maria felt his eyes on her and she felt ashamed. She knew that Lance was pitying her and she hated the look that he was portraying.

"Please, don't look at me like that-"

"Oh yeah sorry!" Lance turns his chair back again, unaware of the feelings of the ex-tavern dancer. "Anyways, I did it for two reasons, one just to avoid any pathogens from spreading and two, to stop you from wearing that heavy dress in the summer ... you could get a heat stroke again."

"What am I supposed to wear then?" Maria asked as she tried to forget the previous moment.

"Just stay here and I'll get you something."

.

.

.

"You really didn't have anything else I could wear?" Maria asked as she and Lance made their way to Lisa's home. "I mean I don't mind wearing male clothing but ... I don't know, it feels weird."

"It's lighter and it covers your body, I know you don't like showing off your body so I thought this old outfit of mine would be good for you," Lance kept Maria to his right to avoid any other men looking at her until she felt more comfortable.

The brunette took the time to look at the clothes. Maybe ten years ago this could have been what every young man would desire to wear. A crisp, white bellamy shirt with black baggy slacks that reached to her ankles.

"You sure used to dress like a preppy boy, didn't you?" she teased again as the doctor just rolled his eyes.

"I can't really defend myself, you are right."

Maria laughed a little and to Lance that was surprisingly satisfying to hear. There was a small smile planted on her face and although she looked tired, her face was relaxed and even softer.

"Quite beautiful."

"Did you say something?"

"I said quite disgusting!" The doctor touches the brunette's hair as they have finally reached the doorsteps of Lisa's home. "Either you take a shower or I'll end up cutting all of this hair."

He was lying, her hair was a bit tangled but it was still beautiful. Soft and long and he kind of wished he could brush it and maybe even-

Suddenly, the door slams open. A dark aura surrounded the angry, short man who almost broke the door down. His eyes full of murder as he noticed the doctor touching someone precious to him.

"You better take your hands off her ... Now."

"Levi?" Of all the places Maria could find him, she never thought she would see him at Lisa's house. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? I was looking for you all night! You weren't at Leah's nor Lisa's, nor the cottage!" Levi raised his voice. "For fucks sake Maria, I was worried sick!"

Although the brunette wasn't scared at all, Lance didn't hesitate to stand in front of Maria. Standing protectively and looking down at humanity's strongest soldier.

"Don't you ever ... ever dare to talk to her like that again," Lance knew very much that he had no chance against Levi in a fight but he wasn't going to back down.

"Or what?" Levi asked, if looks could kill, Lance would be dead long ago. "You are going to fight me?

"If that's what you want, then yes ... But of course, everyone knows you are going to win ... I didn't know Captain Levi of the Survey Corps was one to beat up those who are weaker than him," the doctor took a few steps closer, his green eyes met blues and Levi hated just how tall the man was.

"I am pretty sure Maria will look at you differently if you were to do that to me. "

Levi took a moment to look back at Maria, there were many things he wanted to ask but he felt relieved to see that she was fine.

Everything about her seemed to be perfect, except for the fact that she was wearing mens clothes to which he concluded was Lances'. She looked tired, her hair a mess, and the evident blush again.

"Why is she blushing? She shouldn't be blushing, what is this bullshit?"

"Lance, just let it go," Maria whispered but Levi could hear her just fine.

Sighing, the doctor turns around giving his back to Levi. His strong demeanor faded as he laid eyes on the ex-tavern dancer.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you."

Again, Levi saw it. The blush on her face. How she tried to avoid her evident embarrassment by looking down at the floor.

And Levi hated it because there used to be a time when Maria would react like that with him... Just like that.

"She doesn't need you protecting her," Levi says with the intention that Lance would stay away from Maria. "She already has me."

"Well, you are not doing a very good job," Lance says. "After all, she wouldn't be with me if you had done your job right in the first place."

"Look you piece of shit-"

"Oh, gentlemen please," Lisa interrupts the moment as she comes outside, holding the five-year-old Arthur in her arms. "Don't even think of fighting in front of the child."

"No, I want to see them fight!" Arthur says as he puts his small fist in the air.

"Arthur!"

.

.

.

There was a heavy silence after that. Maria was definitely not having a nice morning. If anything she felt like falling asleep at any second but she knew she had more important matters to attend to and that was going to the marketplace.

That and Levi who was following her just a few centimeters behind.

She didn't know what was more annoying, the fact that she was still wearing Lance's clothes and people were staring or that Levi obviously wanted to ask questions but he was too much of a coward to start a conversation.

The brunette tried to forget about him for a second as she knew that if what he had to say was important, he would eventually speak up. For now, she only cared about finding the right things to prepare for dinner tonight.

It was a custom that before an expedition, Maria would cook a great meal for Levi and his squad and today wasn't going to be the exception. Yes she was tired but the expedition was tomorrow and this was important to her.

"So, you are just going to ignore me?" Levi asks as he looks at the brunette walking in front of him.

"I am not ignoring you," Maria replies. "I am just thinking of something."

"Something or someone ?"

"I am thinking about what to make for dinner , Levi."

Finally, she eyed the farmers market, feeling relieved to focus on something else rather than what had happened last night. However, her happiness was cut short as she remembers that all of her money was probably in her old dress which Lance threw away. Nonetheless, she had the hope that maybe her doctor had left her some money to at least pay for a carriage ride back to the cottage.

As she stuffed both hands in her pockets to try and rummage through them, she felt an envelope in her right pocket and cautiously pulled it out. Her name was written with beautiful cursive writing.

"Nice work with the suit, I am giving you a little extra."

-Lance

Maria took a peek in the envelope and found the amount 7,000 residing in it. The quantity was way above her status, it was definitely not what they had agreed, the thought of giving some of the money back to Lance crossed her mind. However, today she was just going to indulge herself and make the best meal possible.

"And now you are smiling?"

Today Maria was definitely not dealing with Levi's ... Well, whatever Levi was feeling.

Not only did her morning go bad with Lance and Levi almost fighting but Lisa had also given her a piece of her mind.

"Lance just told me you haven't been eating!"

"I am on a strict diet"

"Diet? Maria, you train every night for I don't know how long, and then you don't eat?! You are just exhausting your body, you are going to collapse!"

"Well, it's my decision, and I know what I am doing!"

Maria knew that Lisa was just worried about her but the brunette was just tired of having people telling her what to do and what not.

If she looks at things positively, her morning wasn't so bad. She got to take a better look at Lance's beautiful green eyes and even-

"I was looking for you all night," Levi says, his voice soft but Maria could still hear him clearly among the crowd that was passing by. "I was worried."

"I am sorry Levi but I fail to see how that is my problem," she knew that she was being cold and it did hurt to see Levi's eyebrows frown. "Look, I am sorry but I never asked you to look out for me alright? I don't even know why you would think I was in danger."

The brunette went to the first food stand, looking at the apples and the money she received, maybe it will be nice to bake a pie. It was going to take some time and maybe Petra's help but if she hurries up she could-

"Well, maybe if you had told me you were going out, I wouldn't have gone looking for you," Levi says. To him, it felt like Maria was just not taking the situation at hand seriously and that was pissing him off.

"Hange and Moblit just casually walked into the castle without a care in the world and they told me that they left you behind in some stupid scientific event with ... him ."

"Last time I remember, what I do is not of your concern anymore," Maria smiles at the man attending the small food tent with the hope that she would disregard Levi's current attitude. "How much for five apples-"

"For fucks sake Maria just because we are not dating anymore does not mean that I don't care about you!"

"Give me 10 please," Maria tried her best to try and listen but of all the places Levi wanted to 'talk' he decided to do it in a public space.

"Well, I think you are caring too much, don't you think?"

Now, Levi didn't know what to think or say. A part of him told him that Maria was being this way because of what she may have encountered in the library days ago. This was a difficult decision to make but he preferred to talk about this now than to have Maria remain cold towards him.

"...Someone told me that," Levi follows her closely and although Maria was focused on food stands, he knew that she was listening.

"That on the day of the regiment ceremony, you came to the library to look for me and well, I was just wondering-"

"If I saw you jerking off while saying my name and then you making out with your assistant?" the brunette turns around and faces him. "Because yes, I did."

She then continues to walk, talking to the farmers selling their products, smiling with not a care for the world. Maybe she didn't even care that she was wearing men's clothing anymore.

"... I ... I pushed her away!"

"I don't care."

That wasn't the response Levi was expecting. Maybe Levi expected something similar to the reaction he had when he found out nothing was going on with Maria and Lance. But instead, he found nothing of that sort. Not a single sign that she cared at all.

"What?"

"I don't care if you pushed her away or not," Maria made a stop in front of another small shop, this time it was white rice that they were selling. "Also, how much white rice do you plan on eating tonight? Should I buy around three kilos and save some for later-"

"You don't care?" Levi asks offended "Like at all?"

"Why should I?" Maria doesn't turn around and instead talks to the young woman selling the rice. "Can you give me three kilos please?"

Humanities strongest continues to watch his ex-lover's movements. He didn't know why but it bothered him greatly that Maria was acting so ... indifferent. As if she didn't care at all about him.

And that was just slowly hurting him, he needed to do something. Some type of reaction, anything that indicated to him that she still cared for him.

"Well, what if I tell you that I enjoyed it?"

This time Maria was really trying her best to tell Levi to just 'fuck off'. Today she didn't have a lot of patience and Levi was just acting like an asshole at this point. Did he want attention? Maria just knew that if she were to fall into his trap like that, he would be the one winning.

"Oh, yes Levi, tell me more about how you enjoyed touching yourself while thinking of me and then making out with a woman while still thinking of me and-" Maria stops talking as something catches her eyes. "Oh, look, the tomatoes are on sale!"

"You really don't give a shit?" this time Levi stands in front of her, making Maria stop for a moment and look down at him."You know you are being so insensitive right now!"

"How?" She walked past him, some people were already looking at them and the only thing Maria wanted was to buy the food and leave. Was that too much to ask?

Next, she looks at the vegetable stand. She could already imagine the amazing food she was going to cook tonight. Maybe some soup, pasta, a cake, maybe all three.

"Can I have seven carrots, four potatoes, and um-" it was a difficult decision. Should she get the cabbage or fermented beans? She just decided on both.

"You know that I care about how you feel towards me! And if you don't feel anything towards me ... well I feel, I feel-"

Levi stumbled on his words. He was never good with communication, nor figuring out his emotions. Fighting titans was easier than talking to Maria right now. He felt miserable as he remembered how easy it was to talk to Maria back when they were together.

"Hurt?" Maria grabbed the paper bags full of food and although it was starting to get heavy, she could still carry more. "You know, if you actually listened to me you wouldn't have doubts about whether I feel something for you or not."

Maria kept walking, it was rather a nice day. And it could have been a decent morning if it wasn't for the current subject of conversation with Levi.

"Well, maybe if you actually talked to me, I would know!" The short man grabs her by the shoulder, making the brunette stop and turn around to look at him. "But instead you just push me away and make me look for you all over the walls!"

Maria was weak from last night and Levi wasn't one to measure strength. Losing a little bit of balance, some of the vegetables fell to the ground. To Maria, that was the last straw.

"Shit Levi, I tell you all the fucking time and I've told you before that I love you!" the brunette bends down to pick up the fallen vegetables. Some of them were covered with dirt already.

"You are just being so selfish!"

"Selfish?"

Levi felt bad immediately as he also tried to help the brunette to pick the mess that he made. But right now he was more worried about what the brunette had in mind and that made him think such things about him.

"The only thing I want for you is your safety! You are the one being selfish! You don't care about how I feel! Do you even know how it feels seeing you falling out of love with me?"

And that's everything it took for Maria to finally break it down to Levi. Maybe this was the talk they needed to have a long time ago. She had finally realized that Levi didn't care about her feelings at all. He only cared about himself and having a woman who would follow him anywhere he goes.

"No, Levi, I am not being selfish and you know why?" she angrily snatches the vegetable away from his hands and places them in the brown paper bags.

Levi stood quiet, his heart beating faster as he noticed Maria was more than angry, she was furious.

"Because unlike you I don't beat around the bush! I am not afraid to tell you that I love you! I am not cruel!" she screamed at him, hoping that finally, he could listen to her. "I don't tell a man that I don't love him and then throw him mixed signals and make him extremely confused about his feelings!"

"I don't leave him hanging around with the hope that one day ... Maybe he can change ... and maybe then just then ... I can tell him that I love him."

Calming down as she finally finishes picking up the last few vegetables from the ground and putting them in her bags, Maria didn't dare to look at Levi. Knowing that if she does, she would immediately apologize.

"I am not that cruel ... I am not that selfish," she says. "Please don't insult me like that."

.

.

.

Not only was it awkward, but it was also depressing.

At the farmers market, Levi had stopped following her but now she was looking at him again sitting across the dining table.

Maria felt bad for many reasons at the moment. It wasn't silent, there were many things the squad were talking about. The thing was that nobody was talking to Captain Levi.

He was just eating soup and a side of white rice, looking down at the plate like a lost puppy.

"So, how was your date the other day Ms. Maria?" Eren asked way too happy at the moment because of the food. "From what Ms. Hange and Moblit told us, you must have had a fun night."

"It was really fun," she lied. "I am not a very smart person but from what I understood, everything seemed to be very interesting!"

"Did you meet anyone interesting?" Petra asked this time, wanting to hear more from the brunette. "Hange was telling us that so many handsome and young men were surrounding you!"

"You are going to pay for this one Hange."

"Well, Hange wasn't really there, so she wouldn't know," Maria tried to play around with the idea but without giving too much information about Lance. "I just had a couple of drinks and went back to Lisa's home."

"What a relief," Gunther says not knowing that he had said that out loud. All eyes were on him, waiting for an explanation of his previous sentence. "I- I mean because we can't trust just anyone these days! I mean even Captain Levi was so worried!"

"Captain Levi is always worried," Eld added. "And we have to admit that him falling in the mud while trying to look for his horse to look for Maria was hilarious."

"And then he came back to change clothes but slipped again!" Oluo says and at this Maria didn't know if she should worry or not.

She knew that they were harmless jokes and that they were probably just saying it to lighten up the mood or to get some type of reaction from Levi.

And as angry as Maria could be towards Levi, she just couldn't stay angry at him for too long.

"I don't think it's a good idea to-

"Maria," Levi interrupted her. Everyone went silent, waiting for their Captain to continue.

"I am accepting your request to join the Survey Corps for the exploration team."

Maria drops her spoon making a small impact against the bowl, repetitive echoes are heard in the room as everyone drops their utensils in unison too from shock.

"I'll see everyone tomorrow morning, be ready."

And with that Levi stands up, picking up his plate, and leaves. Leaving everyone baffled and speechless. There were many things Maria wanted to say but she couldn't process anything at the moment. Maybe she was just dreaming.

But even so, she couldn't stop herself from smiling.

Levi had already left and he didn't see the sincere display of happiness coming from the brunette.

"I hope that makes you happy."

.

.

.

Levi never knew what terror was until he saw men pointing their guns at his pregnant wife and two-year-old daughter.

After working at the teashop he came back home exhausted, with the thought that today was going to go peacefully just like any other. But his heart begged to come out of his body as it began pumping against his chest at the horrible sight.

He wanted to kill them, to make them suffer for even daring to touch what was precious to him. But it was five of them, all of them wielding a gun and as fast as Levi could be, he knew that he couldn't surpass the speed of a bullet.

"You know what to do right? It shouldn't be too hard for a man like you to do this," Mr. Dietrich had hate towards the Flaherty family.

Since Mr. William Flaherty married the woman he loved and because of him she died, he always had hate towards him and his family. Not only that but it didn't help that Mr. Flaherty had led a revolution against the royal families and put him and his new family in danger.

"I'll finally get my revenge, that damn family has always been cursed," Mr. Dietrich smiled as he pressed his gun further into Maria's skin. "I won't kill the damn bastard but someone raping his girl should pain him enough."

And Levi didn't want to do it, but what could he do? He was being followed by two men to make sure he did the job and even if he got to kill one or both, it was futile. Because he had to come back with the two bastards as proof that he finished the job.

He had no time to think, he was desperate. He just wanted Maria and his daughter, Kutchel, to be safe. Levi wanted to die as he thought of Maria's words.

"You should quit your job, working as an assassin for the royal family. It will only harm us in the long run."

But he needed the money, especially back then when Maria was pregnant with Kutchel. Just once, he will do it, just one more time so he could open up his tea shop and buy Maria a house.

His peaceful life was about to start.

But it ended two years later.

He did it.

And when he came back home, he found three living men.

And two dead bodies.

"Ackermans disgust me," Mr. Dietrich said as he walked past Levi. "If she wasn't born with that last name ... She wouldn't have been forced into living underground."

But he saw that the young man was too far gone to even listen. 

Probably watching the two bloody and dead bodies of his wife and daughter traumatized him. But Mr.Dietrich didn't care, his job was done. Nicholas Flaherty, the last of his family must have found out by now that someone had raped his woman.

This is what they deserved, that entire family has always been cursed. Since he was a child he had always hated his cousin and now even more. William took the woman he loved and had a bastard child with her.

And the Ackermans, the only thing they were good for was to fight and kill. But if only they fought sooner, if they didn't hide like cowards. If only ... if only ...

If only they had never been born into this world.

She wouldn't have suffered so much. She wouldn't be dead and he wouldn't have suffered either.

"All you Ackermans are better off dead ... You are only a threat to the royal families and the king," Mr. Dietrich watched as a single tear rolled down Levi's eyes. He didn't move, he didn't even look like he was alive.

"But looking at you now ... You don't look so much like a threat." 

Mr. Dietrich took one last look at the bodies on the wooden floor. Blood and broken bones, white dresses turned into red and messy brown hair that contrasted that of the child's black hair.

Placing a hand on the young man's shoulder, he gives Levi one last sympathetic look. This was for the best, now those two wouldn't suffer.

No more Ackermans to threaten the royal families and as far as he knows Levi was the last one. But looking at the old man, he knew that there wasn't much he could do. Maybe he will even commit suicide.

But Mr. Dietrich didn't care.

"Isn't that right? ... Mr. Alon Ackerman?

.

.

.

After Levi woke up, he couldn't stop himself from having a panic attack. He could still remember it perfectly, his terrible actions, the blood, Maria and his unknown daughter left dead on the floor and he couldn't do anything about it.

Absolutely nothing about it.

"Promise me, Levi! If you want to save Maria, you have to keep your distance, you have to listen to Erwin, you have to kill the beast titan no matter what! Promise me you won't hesitate!"

Nicholas's face appeared in his mind, almost crying and begging him.

Levi falls to the floor, his hands trembling as got the urge to hurt himself. He was losing air and began to sweat.

"Just promise ... That you will stay away and watch her be happy for me, ok?"

Levi began to think of the possibilities, of the many terrible ways Maria could die if she were to go outside the walls. He could hear the screams, her face filled with terror and although she may not be afraid of the titans, everyone was scared of death.

"How do you know my mother? Tell me! How do you know her? Am I ... Am I an Ackerman?"

He couldn't breathe, he began to punch his own chest with the hopes that he could feel something. Pulling his hair to try to relieve the desperation of his chest.

"I am not an Ackerman."

He repeated multiple times with the hope that it helped him calm down. Trying to convince himself that he had nothing to do with those monsters who hurt Maria.

Where is she? He needed to see her, to know that she was safe.

She was always here with him, helping him go through this pain.

But she wasn't.

Maria wasn't here, she hasn't been here for a long time. She was gone ... Gone.

They took her away from me.

Levi began to think of all the things that had happened to him these last couple of years. Life has taken many things away from him and over the years he decided to not get attached.

He should have known ... He should have known.

She was my everything ... My home ... And they took her away from me.

Levi just wanted to see Maria. His Maria, the one who would comfort him. The one who would caress his hair, the one who felt like his home. The one who loved ... truly loved him.

But she died, five years ago the moment they sent her to the underground.

His breathing started to regulate after 15 minutes, his heart beat going back to normal but his thoughts could only focus on Maria.

Is she ... still alive ... somewhere?

Maybe ... she never existed.

.

.

.

And after a few scratches and a bit of painful hair pulling, he had calmed down.

There was no time to think about anything but today's expedition. Levi needed to focus today to be aware and follow orders.

He took slow but firm steps down the stairs and he had to admit that it was a very pleasant sight.

Levi hated life in the castle but he wouldn't mind staying a little bit longer if it meant that he could see this every morning.

His squad laughing, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Petra was fighting with Oluo for some reason while Oluo just tried to flirt with her. Eld just laughed and Gunther looked at Maria while she placed food on his plate. Eren was looking somewhat calm as well and it was nice to see the boy relax a little after so much pressure was put on him.

He knew he was going to look like a jerk. Especially since Maria looked so ... content.

Her hair was nicely groomed in a ponytail, her hair bags were to the side. Her uniform was ironed and her boots shining. She moved around elegantly as she served breakfast.

She looked so content ... and he was about to take that away from her.

He walked down the stairs, all eyes on him and his eyes showed bad news.

Everyone was quiet and they waited for Levi to speak.

"New announcement," Levi says as he sits down at the dining table, a hot cup of tea already waiting for him. "Maria, I thought it over and you are not qualified to go to today's mission. You will stay here and watch over the Survey Corps' facility."

"But Captain Levi, that's so unfair!" Petra says. "Just yesterday you said you would let her come with us!"

"I am sorry to defy you Captain, but Petra is right," Eld added as he puts his fork down. "Maria is more than qualified to-"

"Wait, no it's alright," Maria interrupted the two. Not only did she not want to fight with Levi but she also didn't want Eren to worry and stress him out on the day of the expedition. "Let's just enjoy breakfast!"

Levi thought that Maria was going to act differently and was a bit surprised. Nonetheless, he appreciated it. He knew that she was angry but it was better to see her angry than dead ... At least that's what he thought.

Not only that but she wasn't giving him the cold shoulder. She was treating him nicely which was a surprise after the small fight they had.

The scenery in front of Levi was still untouched and he appreciated it. A warm morning that he wouldn't change for anything in the world. He enjoyed his black tea and white rice in silence hoping that some way or another this moment could be eternal.

But the moment he saw Maria hugging everyone and saying her goodbyes, he wondered if she was going to do the same with him.

Standing in front of the door as everyone waited for their Captain to finish talking to the brunette. All eyes were on him but it took one look from Captain Levi for his squad to go back to pretending that they weren't paying attention to the couple at the door.

"... I am sorry," Levi says as he looks away embarrassed, for some reason he just couldn't dare to look at Maria. He was afraid to see the disappointment on her face.

Instead, he felt his heart stop the moment Maria held his hand. Caressing the knuckles of his hands, it hurt a little as the fresh scratches from this morning were present from his morning episode.

"You know you can always come to me to bandage your wounds," Maria says, as she takes a quick look back she notices her friends taking quick glances at them.

Maria had to admit that she was angry and she wanted to let Levi know. However, she also knew that it wasn't the time.

Not only did she immediately notice Levi's red knuckles, which usually happened whenever he had a panic attack. But Maria knew that this might be the last time she might see Levi, Petra, Eld, Oluo, Gunther, and Eren. She didn't want to fight, she just wanted to have this last nice moment.

"You all better come back by dinner," Maria says. "I'll be baking a cake."

Everyone smiled at her, knowing that they couldn't wait to taste Maria's cooking.

"You know we always come back."

.

.

.

Levi didn't know how things could get this wrong.

Erwin had been very clear with his plans, he knew that some soldiers weren't going to make it. But to him, his squad just seemed ... Untouchable.

He thought that after changing his gas, he would just meet up with his squad, and they would go back to the castle where Maria would be waiting, eager to listen to today's story.

But as he moved through the forest, he knew that it wasn't going to be that way.

Not today ... Not ever again.

Gunther.

"If you like her, why don't you just go talk to her?"

I wasn't stupid, he had known for a very long time that Gunther had developed some type of crush on Maria. The way he looked at her was enough to confirm that. 

"Sir- I-I don't know what you are talking about," Gunther replied, I saw a small blush on his face. "I wouldn't dare to think of her like that! Especially since she is your ex-girlfriend-"

"I wouldn't mind if she were to take an interest in you ... you are a good man."

"Well, it's only that ... She's still very much in love with you," Gunther looks down to the floor, trying to stop himself from stuttering. "Also I like being her friend and well ... I think I prefer to just see her happy from afar."

Eld.

"Captain Levi, do you have a minute?" 

It was late at night, everyone had gone to sleep, and the only ones who had stayed up were Eld and I. Sometimes we would just talk about random things. He was a good man and a good friend too. 

"Well, as you know, I am getting married to Elena and well I was wondering ... Would you be one of my groomsmen?"

I was baffled. Not only was this my first time getting invited to a wedding, but I never thought I was going to receive such an honor. At that moment, I just couldn't stop thinking ... that I was too stupid for something so important to him.

"Do you think I am fit enough to be in that role for you?"

"Of course! Who else is more fitted than the man who holds this family together?"

Oluo.

"Stop acting like Captain Levi!"

"I am not acting like him-"

"Come on, just tell us why you do it."

My squad didn't think I was listening. But I am always aware of the things they do. Even right now, they were training at the gym after everyone else had left. 

"Well ... Because I-I just think Captain Levi is really cool."

Petra.

"It's alright Captain Levi, you don't have to say it ... We know you love us!"

The word 'love' was too strong for me. I never liked it and if I was being completely honest it was a word that just didn't belong in my vocabulary.

"And even if you don't, we do love you!" Petra had the biggest smile on her face. She was a beautiful young lady indeed and her beauty would always increase whenever she smiled.

"We are family so we will always be together!

Levi didn't know why but those were the memories that clouded his mind when he saw the dead bodies of his comrades. His friends.

.

.

.

Levi wanted nothing more but to go home at this point. He didn't know where that was ... but he hoped Maria could bring him that sense.

He wasn't looking forward to telling her how his squad died, how was he supposed to look her in the eye and tell her that he let go of the Female Titan? The bitch who killed their friends. He didn't know how she was going to react. Was she going to get angry? Would she cry? What will she do?

Levi didn't know, the only thing he knew was that his friends were dead ... and he couldn't do anything about it.

"We have to go back for his body!"

"Please sir, we live in the same village! We grew up together!"

Levi was never one for words, there were so many things he wanted to say. Like how he wished he could go back and pick up the bodies of his friends.

But it was over. They were just dead bodies and although he wanted to break down, he couldn't. Everyone had high expectations of him.

Sometimes it was hard. Really hard and this was one of the times in which he was being tested.

"There's nothing we can do now, a corpse won't help us get back faster to Wall Rose," he knew he sucked at expressing words of condolences. Levi was terrible at it but this was as good as he could get.

"How can you be so insensitive!? Don't you have a heart?!!"

Levi walked away, pretending that he didn't care. He always had a facade he needed to keep. The one of being a strong, cold soldier, the one who doesn't break down. Throughout the years, he had learned that this was the role entrusted to him. That no matter what, he needs to act strong.

"You won't do anything but if it was your whore I am sure that you wouldn't have hesitated to go back for her body!"

Levi stopped.

But he couldn't say anything about it.

He took a quick glance back at the soldier, desperate with tears in his eyes and he couldn't imagine himself acting like that.

Levi just turned around and continued walking.

.

.

.

"Come on Maria, stop frowning, stop worrying, that's not good for the skin."

Leah had come from her home to Trost District to help Maria prepare dinner. She wasn't used to coming to the castle, she actually hated how cold and big they were but seeing that she won't see Maria for a couple of days, she wanted to join the company of the brunette.

"How do you not want me to worry? They must be fighting titans right now," Maria had finished baking the pie, the hardest part was done. Now she needed to finish baking the bread. "I should have been there."

"And make me worry?" Leah had washed her hands and prepared the oven. Now she was helping Maria finish the bread dough. "I already have enough to worry about with Erwin."

"Who would have thought that you would have fallen in love with the Commander of the Survey Corps," Maria used her hands to soften the bread dough. It had been a while since she baked this much but she was glad she had the company of her friend with her.

"Who would have thought that I would like the only man who has said no to me," Leah lets out a small sigh, yes it was sad but she had accepted it a very long time ago. "Not going to lie, I am still a bit salty about it."

"Well, at least he is honest with his feelings," Maria says. "He doesn't play around the bush and doesn't leave you hanging ... such a gentleman."

Leah was aware that Maria and Levi didn't have the best of relationships ever since they broke up. She had always been skeptical about their relationship since Leah never truly liked Levi.

She had met many men like him before and they always turned out to be trash.

"... You know Maria, if you wanted, you really could be dating that doctor friend of yours-"

"Leah, don't even start," Maria wasn't in the mood to talk about Levi, especially not after today.

"I am just saying that if you weren't so enamored with Mr. short dick, you could very well be putting something bigger in your mouth-"

"Leah!" the brunette exclaimed as she stopped preparing the dough. "Please let's not talk about him."

"You know I just want the best for you," she said. "And you know that staying by Levi's side will only bring you misery."

Looking down at the dough, Maria had heard what Leah had said. Although she didn't want to think about it, she knew that eventually, she would have to confront him.

"Anyways, tell me, are you excited to see your cousin from Wall Sina?"

"Kind of, it's been a while since I've talked to Sofia but I am definitely not excited to meet her tavern's Mother," Leah said as she went back towards the open fire oven, the bread dough was ready to bake. "I heard that she's a real bitch ... Good with picking young tavern dancers but a bitch."

"Well if she is requesting to see the most famous tavern dancer in all of the walls, that must mean that she is in trouble," Maria added. "I am sure you are coming back with a lot of money-"

Knock Knock

The two brunettes looked at each other, surprised to hear someone knock on the kitchen door. Not only was it weird to expect visitors at this time, it was also strange for someone to come through the castle door.

"Are they back already?" Leah asked.

"I don't think so, it's too early," Maria replied as she walked towards the door. "Besides they would just have used the front door."

Maria didn't hesitate to open the door where she found Eren, Armin, and Mikasa wearing their uniforms. A certain relief took over her body seeing that they were safe but something in their eyes also told her that she shouldn't be happy too soon.

"I am glad you three came back safe! Come in, the food is almost ready, let's wait until Levi and everyone comes back," Maria opened the door to which the young ones seemed hesitant. "Is there something wrong?"

Mikasa and Armin instantly looked at Eren who avoided looking at the brunette at first. They all looked terrified and Maria could only think of the worst.

"Ms. Maria," Eren started. "There's something I need to tell you."

.

.

.

She needed a moment alone.

Closing the door of one of the many rooms in the castle, Maria was on the floor trying her hardest not to cry and to stop the tears from falling. She tried to inflict some type of pain on her skin so the pain in her heart would lessen.

"Don't you dare cry."

It seemed impossible to her. She thought today was going to be like any other expedition. Other soldiers would not make it and Maria knew she was selfish but she mostly cared about her friends. About Petra who was always kind to her. To Gunther who was really sweet, Eld, a good friend, and even an older brother figure, and Oluo who even if he didn't intend it, was charming.

"You can't cry, you can't cry you pathetic piece of shit." 

Memories of their moments together crossed her mind. Of the years they had shared together. Of everything that Maria had learned from them.

"You don't deserve to cry, it's your fault."

Yes, it was her fault. If only she had trained more, if only she had become stronger than maybe Levi would have let her go. If she was there she could have helped. Or at the least, she could have sacrificed herself to save someone more worthy.

"It should have been me ... It should have been me."

.

.

.

Lena didn't know how truly strong Levi was until she saw him give Petra's wings of freedom emblem to another soldier.

The sun had already gone down and the Survey Corps were hiding in one of their many abandoned facilities in Wall Rose. The plan to capture the Female Titan was going to happen in a couple of hours. For now, she only cared about attending to Levi's wounds. When he confronted the Female Titan, he had injured his foot. She regretted not being there for him but Erwin needed her to be with the trap support team.

"Tsk."

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

The room was empty, it was only Lena and Levi at the moment. She tried to be delicate and it pained to see her Captain in such a state.

"No, it's fine," he said nonchalantly. He appreciated Lena for taking the time to bandage his ankle, he was also glad that she didn't get killed outside the walls.

"... I am sorry for what happened-"

Suddenly, the door slammed open.

It brought him some comfort to see Maria. She was dressed in her Survey Corps uniform, her brown hair groomed into a ponytail. She looked different, her face no longer had a soft look but an indifferent one.

"Leave us," Maria ordered Lena. To Levi, it was more than obvious that tonight, the brunette did not want to be bothered.

Lena wasn't going to stay quiet, she stood from the ground as she finished bandaging Levi's ankle. Taking big steps towards the brunette, Lena looks up to Maria.

"I don't take orders from you," she said.

"Leave us now or I'll make you."

Levi was surprised to see Maria like this and although he wanted to see more of this side of her. He knew that whenever Maria acted hostile, it wasn't a good sign.

"Bring it-"

"Lena, please," Levi interrupted as he sat on the chair, slowly turning around to face Maria. "Give us a moment."

The assistant hated the idea of leaving Maria alone with Levi, especially when she still didn't know about Levi's squad's death. She was well aware that her Captain had some sort of feelings towards this tall woman. However, that doesn't mean Lena had the same sentiment for her.

By the way she was acting, and the way Maria made the Captain feel ... Lena wasn't like her not one bit

But still, for her Captain, she had to back down for now.

"As you wish, Captain."

The sound of heels impacting the floor slowly disappeared until they could be heard no more along with the opening and closing of a door.

There were a few shared gazes. Brown and blue eyes staring at each other waiting to see who was going to break the silence.

"Maria ... Everyone-" Levi tried to stand up but Maria was fast to softly touch his shoulders.

"It's alright," she pushed him back to his seat as delicately as possible, Eren had told her that Levi had injured his ankle. The last thing she wanted was for Levi to stand up and for his injury to get worse.

"I know, Eren told me everything ... I am sorry."

He thought Maria was going to act differently to the news. But instead, there was no sign of emotion coming from her. Her eyes had lost that light a very long time ago but now there was something different in them. A certain glow he knew well ... revenge.

"... I am going to join the plan to capture the female titan," Maria spoke, breaking the silence. "And after that, I am joining the survey corps' exploration team."

Levi was glad that no one was here. This abandoned facility was quite small and he could hope that no one dared to interrupt them right now. "You know what happened, you are not going anywhere."

I will," Maria was confident. "I wasn't even going to tell you but in memory of what we once had ... I am doing this."

Levi felt a small pinch on his heart. His instincts were already telling him to stand up and hold her by her hand.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to stop ... being close to you," Maria says. "From this day forward, I'll treat you like my Captain and you will treat me as your subordinate."

Maria took a moment to appreciate Levi's face. He looks lost and for a moment she thought that he didn't even hear her.

"I don't understand, what are you going to achieve from this?" Levi asked with the hope that someway or another he had heard her wrong.

"My freedom."

The brunette turns around, she doesn't want to look at Levi because she knows the moment she does she will give up.

"All of this time, I was tied to the idea that somewhere deep down ... you loved me."

To Levi, nothing was making sense. At least, he didn't want to believe the words that came out of her mouth. He felt agitated, not because Maria looked angry but because he felt like this was the last time he was going to see her.

"And honestly, I wouldn't have minded giving up on my freedom if it meant I could be with someone who truly loved me ... after all, I also have the freedom to choose."

It took all the strength in the world for Maria to turn around and face him.

His face had a small frown, an upside-down smile and his eyes were as expressive as they could. They were begging her to stop, to make everything go back the way they used to be.

"But I've realized that all of this time, I wasted it by chasing a dream that's just not going to happen," there was no turning back now and Maria was well aware of that.

"You don't love me, and never will ... and you never had."

Levi immediately stands up, this wasn't just about how Maria felt. It was also about him. His ankle hurts but the pain didn't compare to the anger he was starting to feel.

"How dare you!" Levi shouts, he wanted to move closer to her but she was too far away now. "How dare you say that! My feelings for you were sincere!"

"No, you only loved the idea you had of me," Maria says. "You never loved me."

"Don't say that!"

He screamed at her, not caring now if anyone heard him. To him, there must be something wrong. There was no way this was Maria, his Maria knew. She always knew about how he felt, about the love she had for her.

"I did- I swear I did-" he told her again, more to himself than to her.

"Then why did you never tell me?"

His throat went dry, mostly because he didn't have an answer to that. If there was only one thing he regretted in his life, it would be that he never told Maria he loved her.

Or at least that's what he thought.

"If you truly loved me, then you wouldn't have doubts," Maria looked down to the floor, her feelings were overwhelming. "You would have told me."

"You know I am not good at communicating-"

"Not good at communicating? Or not good at knowing your feelings?" Maria clenches her hands, her fists trembling as she tries her best to keep eye contact with him. "Levi, the reason why you don't know what you are feeling ... is because you never felt anything at all."

"Stop, don't say that-" he limps towards her slowly. His ankle begging him to stop and his heart imploring to tell her.

Levi never told her how much he loved sleeping next to her, hearing her voice first thing in the morning and ruffling her hair.

He loved all of that ... He wanted to believe he loved all of that.

"If there's anything, anything I am sure of is that I love-"

Maria places her hands on Levi's face. She touched his cheeks, his cold skin felt nice against her warm hands. And she knew she was going to miss this. Being able to freely do this, she fought the urge to kiss him and to tell him that she will always love him.

But doing that would be too painful.

"Then look at me ... Look at who I am ... This is me now ... Do you love what I have become?"

He took a long look at her face, she was still as beautiful as when he met her. Her long brown hair and hair bangs softly touched her eyebrows. The dark circles on her eyes and her lips begged to be touched by him.

And he didn't feel anything.

He has tried too hard but every time he looks at her, it pained him. His heart would break a little every time till the point that he sometimes would even resent her.

"I-I ..." he wanted to cry, this was too much for him. He didn't want to say the truth that his heart has been holding onto. But this was it, this was really the end.

"I am sorry ... I am sorry, I swear I have tried," his voice cracked. Tears would not come out, he didn't dare to let that happen. He knew if he were to do that, Maria would just blame herself.

"I have tried so hard to love you but every time I look at you it hurts ... Because of the scars, because of your face ... Because you are not her."

"I am sorry I can't be what you wanted," It hurts to hear him say it but it gave her some type of relief. A certain sense of freedom and closure, finally knowing that this was the right thing to do.

"Believe me when I tell you that I also hate what I have become ... at least you don't have to live with being me."

"No, wait, Maria, that's not what I meant, I-"

"No, it's alright," Maria lets his face go, walking away from him. Before she reached the door to leave the room, she faced Levi one more time.

"I know ... all of this time ... your true feelings ... I've always known."

"Don't leave, don't leave me please."

"I have to."

He wanted to run towards her and embrace her, to bring her into his arms. Maria was slipping away from his fingers. She was leaving him again, his heart raced, his fingers began to sweat. He was desperate, on the verge of doing whatever she wanted him to do.

"You promised me ... for fuck sake Maria you promised me," Levi says. "Please ... you have to care about that at the least, please."

"I do ... But I think that keeping those promises just makes me feel miserable," it hurts Maria to see him like that. So broken and she tried to look away but she didn't want to give Levi the idea that she didn't mean her words.

"They make me feel miserable today and it will continue to make me feel like that if I keep those promises."

"Is that what you want for me, Levi?" Maria continued. "Just how miserable do I have to be so you can be happy?"

The candle lights that illuminated the empty, dark room was soon going to be filled with the remaining survivors of the Survey Corps.

It went quiet, Maria waited for an answer but Levi didn't look her in the eyes. Only at the ground, putting all of his weight in one leg.

"Please Maria ... Do you want me to get on my knees and beg?"

"Don't do that, if you were to do that, I would just end up hating you," she quickly denied him. She never imagined Levi doing that and she was pretty sure that he was just exaggerating. There was no way Levi would ever do that.

But just to make sure ...

"And right now, hating you ... seems like a very easy thing to do."

"Maria, please, don't leave me-" he begged her again. Levi already knew that no matter what he said she was going to leave. But as he began to limp towards her, he hoped that at least he could make her doubt.

"Not again, please, I can fix this, I promise, I-"

Levi tries walking towards her but his ankle fails him. Just as he's about to fall, Maria runs and catches him.

They were on the floor, Maria's hands around his waist. Levi held onto her shoulders.

Their faces were close, Levi had a strange feeling. Something he hasn't felt in a while. When was the last time he had Maria this close?

Will this be the last time he will hold her like his? The last time he will see her eyes from up close?

Maria began to slowly close her eyes and so did Levi. They wanted to keep feeling whatever they were feeling. To taste each other's lips one last time, to love each other one last time.

But it didn't. It couldn't happen.

"You know Levi, I don't regret falling in love with you," Maria says as she parts away from him. A bit embarrassed about their previous situation. "You were the one who made me smile when I was sad ... and even now whenever I think of you, my day gets much better."

"You are my whole life in a person," she says as she walks back towards the door.

She takes a quick look at Levi, who was sat on the floor. His face in disbelief and Maria didn't know how she had the heart to leave him like that.

But she had to do it. She had to leave him.

"So, it's time that I start living that life."

For one last time, she looked back at Levi, knowing that she could no longer see him with love in her eyes. The last time she will see him as the love of her life.

"I'll see you tonight at the meeting," Maria smiles, hoping that it creates a nice small memory for Levi. "Thank you for everything, Captain Levi."

She opens the door.

and left.

Levi still couldn't comprehend what just had happened. Didn't she understand? That the only thing he wanted was her happiness? That he only wanted was to protect her. How was he supposed to do that when she just exposes herself to danger?

Didn't she know how much he was going to miss her? He already did but how was he supposed to pull through when they weren't even friends anymore?

But then again this wasn't about him.

All of this time ... all of this time what Maria needed was for him to stay away.

He fucked up.

Like he always does.

He shouldn't have let her inside his home five years ago. He shouldn't have taught her how to read and write. He shouldn't have danced with her nor kissed her that day. He definitely shouldn't have made love to her, he shouldn't have spent time with her.

He shouldn't have fallen in love with her.

Or fallen in love with the idea he had of her.

"Captain?"

He looks up to the door, with the hope that it was Maria but of course it wasn't it. It was his assistant who looked at him with pity.

For some reason, that just clicked something in him.

Feeling pathetic, destroyed, and overwhelmed with all these feelings he couldn't describe.

It shouldn't be Lena the one standing at the door, looking at him with loving eyes and desire.

Maria should be the one closing the door behind her and walking towards him, taking a small seat next to him on the floor.

Lena never knew she could see Levi like this, in such a state of vulnerability. The only thing she wanted was to bring him some type of comfort. She held his hand and noticed small bruises on his knuckles.

If only there was a way she could repair his broken heart.

"She left me," Levi says as he looks at Lena's hands holding his. It felt nice. It was warm. "I fucked up."

"If she truly loved you, she wouldn't have left you," Lena began to caress Levi's hand and that brought him some comfort.

His hands were strong and actually kind of small for a man which only added to his charm.

"No, she did," Levi says, he hated being on the dirty floor but at the moment he couldn't care less. "If there's anything I am sure of it is that Maria loved me."

"Well, maybe she did," Lena says. "But not anymore ... you don't abandon the people you love."

Levi didn't want to believe it. He hated the idea of Maria not loving him anymore. He knew he was being selfish, but he just wanted Maria to think of him. To only love him, because Maria loving him was the only thing that gave him the smallest sense of happiness.

"And I won't leave you, Levi," his assistant says as she places one of her hands on his face. Making Levi look at her black eyes. "I'll stay by your side."

And Levi knew that he needed to stop being selfish.

He needed to let her go, to put her happiness over his even if it kills him.

Even if he can't think of a world without her. Even if he lives with the constant fear of her dying in his arms.

It was time to let go.

And although he felt absolutely alone, he wasn't scared. Lena was here.

It happened so fast, but he didn't mind. This was the first he had done this since Maria. He didn't know if he was doing it out of vulnerability or because he just needed some comfort but he didn't care.

Levi found himself kissing his assistant.

.

.

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.

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A/N: I want to deeply thank my beta-reader shortysbrat
for being such a great help through the story. Her insights really help me to develop each chapter.

Introductory chapters are done! Finally, we are going to start developing the story. It's a bit hard to convey Levi's emotions. Even as a writer I question myself if there was a point in which he actually loved Maria.

I have to say that no one is in the right or wrong here.

Maria has all the right to leave Levi, a friendship that just does not bring her happiness nor full-fills her. And Levi does not have to love a version of Maria that is not doing well mentally. He already helped her a lot with her trauma the firsts years Maria came back from the underground. Not only that but it also pains Levi to see this version of Maria, it pains him emotionally and mentally. He is not entitled to loving something that hurts him.

I do feel like they both have to grow first and still talk a lot of things through. Maria acts like her trauma didn't happen and doesn't accept it and it has come to the price sometimes she resented Levi for making her feel good. And Levi also struggles a lot with talking about that because he was also traumatized by seeing for the first time the pain inflected on Maria.

On later chapters we will see the things that happened five years ago.

Can't believe this is 11k words! I hope you enjoyed this rather long chapter.

Also, I want to mention that I am not going

We also said goodbye to Levi's squad. To be honest with you, I had gotten attached to them while writing about them. It did make me see them in a different light because when they first died in the anime, I didn't feel much attachment towards them.

Anyways, I do hope you are enjoying this story! Its strange but there's only 15 chapters left ... Wow, time flies.

Next time, finally we will see Maria in action against the female titan. Remember, I try to keep this as canon as possible, so she won't be stealing any spot light from the original cast. More than anything, I just want her to do more independent things that show her growth and reliability.

As always, don't be scared to ask for fanart or mini comics! Sometimes I ran out of ideas lol. Feel free to comment.

Once again, I thank you enough for all the amazing comments and support. My story may not be popular but believe me that I put a lot of effort so the small number of people who read this can have a good time. Thank you again and see you all next Sunday!

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