A/N: hiii :) that's it, that's the authors note lol. hope youre all doin well <3
Autophobia - fear of being alone or lonely
Aza felt the wind rush past her violently as they spiraled through the night sky in a free fall. They were still on Festus' back, but the dragon's hide had gone stone cold, and his ruby eyes were no longer lit. She felt herself being lifted slightly off the dragon by the rushing wind; naturally, a fifty-ton dragon fell just a bit faster than Aza would. The girl quickly gripped onto one of Festus' built-in handles so she would fall with the dragon.
"Not again!" Leo yelled. "You can't fall again!" Aza could hear the guilt that dripped from Leo's words, and she felt her heart wrench in sympathy for him; he must've felt so guilty.
Leo awkwardly clambered to the control panel on Festus' neck, desperately yanking it open and pulling on various wires and toggling various switches. Festus' wings flapped once, but the overwhelming stench of burnt bronze overpowered that small glimmer of hope.
Aza yelped when she looked down and saw the twinkling lights of a city below them as they plummeted in circles; they didn't have very long before they crashed.
"Jason, take Aza and Piper and fly out of here!" Leo shouted, not looking up from Festus' control panel.
"What?" Jason yelled back in alarm, his blue eyes widening at the suggestion - leaving one of them behind on the back of a plummeting dragon didn't seem like a good idea. Besides, the last time Jason tried to fly with them, they had ended up crash-landing in a warehouse.
"We need to lighten the load! I might be able to reboot Festus, but he's carrying too much weight!"
"What about you?" Piper yelled. "If you can't reboot him-"
"I'll stay with Leo," Aza yelled in response before Leo could assure the girl he would be fine. "Jason can't carry both Piper and I, and I can help Leo fix Festus! I used to help Beckendorf in the shop sometimes."
"That's a terrible idea!" Jason exclaimed back, shaking his head wildly. "You'll be of no help to him!"
Aza glared at him. She reached forward and yelled, "Sorry!" She pushed him and Piper off the dragon, forcing Jason to quickly grab Piper and shoot off into the air, hopefully to land safely in the city. Aza shuffled closer to Leo, holding precariously onto the side of Festus' neck as she peeked over the boy's shoulder. Truth be told, she never was good at helping Beckendorf; in fact, she really just kept him company. But she didn't want to leave Leo alone when he was panicking.
She placed her hands on his shoulder, closing her eyes and feeling the swirling storm of emotions in the boy - fear, panic, disappointment, anger. She grasped onto all of his fears and all of his anxieties, transferring them to himself so he could no longer feel the emotions and would be able to keep a clear head as he worked on Festus.
"Thank you!" Leo yelled back, understanding what she had done once he felt his mind clear, like a fog had lifted. His thoughts were no longer running at a million miles an hour; he was able to more closely focus on the task at hand, instead of allowing his emotions to control him.
Aza, however, felt the burden of his fears fallen onto her. She slouched slightly, like someone had just slung a heavy backpack on her, eyes closed as she tried to push back Leo's fears into her mind's Tartarus. She felt her thoughts race through her head, and she almost gave up to the sickening feeling crawling up her chest and to the tightness like something had been wedged in her throat.
The daughter of Phobos felt her breath begin to quicken, but she forced herself to slow it down, not wanting to scare Leo. In her mind, Aza grabbed each fear and anxiety she had taken from Leo - not being good enough, failing his companions, the earthen woman - and forced them back, further and further from the forefront of her mind until finally they fell into the deep abyss in the very back of her mind where Aza kept the burden of her fears, and the fears of those she loved. She wouldn't let Leo submit to his fears; she would carry the burden for him for as long as he needed.
She could feel the fears that churned at the bottom of her mind's Tartarus churn, threatening to rise up like they had done when Leo, Jason and Piper first arrived at camp. But she pushed them back; she was in control of those fears. They were not in control of her.
Aza opened her eyes when she felt Leo steer Festus, and saw that they were heading towards a white mansion with a huge snowy lawn and a tall brick perimeter fence - it was blazed with light from spotlights, perfect for landing. Leo steered Festus towards it, grinning up at Aza with pride. Aza knelt, squeezing Leo's arm in victory, but that was when everything went wrong. The spotlights on the fence all fixed on them, blinding the two, and Aza heard several small explosions and the sound of metal snapping. Her instincts made her grab Leo, causing the boy to yelp in surprise, and pull him to her chest. She jumped off Festus, maneuvering the two in midair so she would land on the ground closer to wherever Festus landed, cushioning Leo's fall and protecting him from the blast of impact.
Aza felt a searing pain, and then she blacked out.
Aza's head felt hazy when she woke up to voices. "... she took the worst of the fall for me," It was definitely Leo's voice, but it sounded almost like she was underwater, and they were speaking above the surface. "I know you're peeved about what happened in Medea's store, and I was too, but she did it for the best. She's on our side, always, and she's just looking out for us."
"If she didn't," Aza heard Piper defend her, which deeply shocked the girl - last time she checked, Piper wasn't exactly her biggest fan. But maybe her help with Medea had swayed the girl into liking her once more after... whatever it was that had made Piper dislike her. "I couldn't have broken the spell and you and Leo would've killed each other. She cares about us, she really does. And, Aza once told me that she never used her powers on someone else without their consent; she must've had a really, really good reason for using them on you without asking. And she must've thought really hard about it, and I'll bet she's beating herself up over it."
She heard a loud sigh, and a sharp inhale through someone's nose. "Yeah," She thought it was Jason's voice, but again it sounded warped. "Yeah, I know," he sighed again. "But that's an issue for later. Right now, how do we wake her up?"
"I got this covered," Leo said. Aza could hear footsteps approaching her, and then someone's breath on her cheek.
"OI WAKE UP AZA-EVERETT MALIN!" She felt a rush of air, and then a searing pain on her cheek paired with a satisfying smacking noise. Aza felt her head snap to the left and she groaned at the pain, her eyelids fluttering slightly as she tried to force them open, only so she wouldn't get slapped again by Leo.
It took a few moments, but finally she was able to open her eyes. Her vision was swimming slightly; it looked to her like the sky was spinning in a circle above her, and that Jason, Piper and Leo were all slightly warped.
"You're alive," Leo cheered, standing back to his feet with a grin and holding out a hand to haul the girl up. She accepted, stumbling slightly. Leo put a steadying hand on her shoulder, his grin widening slightly. "Nice nap?"
"Fantastic," Aza snarked, rolling her russet eyes and cracking her neck. She looked around; they were still in the yard of the fancy white mansion that they had crash landed on, and all of the lights were pointed on them.
"So," Jason asked. "What now? The main gates are locked, and I'm guessing I can't fly us out of here without getting shot down."
Leo looked up at the walkway that led to the front doors of the large mansion and said, "Since we can't go out, we'll have to go in."
It proved to be just as difficult getting into the mansion as it most likely would have been to leave the yard in the first place; there was a trap-door on the sidewalk, lasers on the steps, and even a nerve gas dispenser on the porch railing - not to mention, of course, the exploding doorbell. Luckily for them, Leo was able to identify the traps before any of them could accidentally trigger them, and could deactivate them quickly.
"You're amazing, man," Jason praised, giving the shorter boy a warm smile. Leo merely scowled in response and sarcastically echoed, "Yeah, amazing. Can't fix a dragon right, but I'm amazing."
"Leo," Aza sighed, looking at the boy sympathetically - she knew what it was like to blame yourself so intensely for one thing, and to let it eat away at you. "It wasn't your-"
"Front door's already unlocked," Leo interrupted, fiddling with the knob slightly. Aza frowned - all those traps, and the door was just unlocked? It seemed weirdly juxtaposed, but she supposed she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth (or maybe she should, seeing as it didn't go very smoothly for the last people who didn't). Leo simply turned the nod and walked in without hesitation, and Aza followed closely behind, with Jason and Piper following after with some hesitation.
The house was darker than the Underworld - Aza could only see the sofas and life-sized metal statues against the walls thanks to the glints of light that peeked through the breaks in the black-out velvet curtains. She could tell the entry hall was enormous from the echo of her footsteps, and as her eyes adjusted to the light, Aza began to wander the hall looking for the light switch.
"Where's the light switch?" Aza heard Jason question, his voice echoing loudly throughout the mostly-empty room.
"I can't find one," Aza called back, though she still ran her hand against the wall looking for one that she may have missed. "Leo, can you use your fire?"
She looked back and saw the shadow of Leo hold up his hand, but nothing sparked, "It's not working."
Aza frowned; that couldn't be good, at all. "So what do we do? Explore?" She wandered back towards her friends - were they still friends? - to regroup as Leo shook his head indignantly and said, "After all those traps outside? Bad idea."
Jason nodded, and Aza could hear his teeth grinding slightly as the blonde clenched his jaw. "Leo's right - we're not separating again, not after Detroit."
"Oh, thanks for reminding me of the Cyclops," PIper snarked, but her voice quavered slightly when she remembered everything. "I really needed that."
Aza muffled her laugh, but it still echoed loudly, much to her embarrassment. "Well, we have at least a few hours until dawn," the girl said, shrugging once she had quieted her laughs. "and it's freezing outside. Why don't we bring in the cages and hole up in this room until day - then we can make a decision."
Jason nodded and agreed, so the group rolled in the cages with Gleeson and the anemoi thuellai and settled into the room. Aza perched on one of the couches, hugging her knees closely to her chest in comfort. She closed her eyes, imagining it was Annabeth hugging her - the thought warmed her heart slightly, but overall made her feel more alone without the blonde daughter of Athena.
Whenever Aza felt anxious, she lost all appetite; so, she declined the cold rations that Leo offered to her and instead watched the group eat; she felt almost like their protector from far away. Piper sat on the couch next to Aza; not particularly close, but not an uncomfortable and avoidant distance away. She offered Aza a small smile, one that made her feel less alone by miles and curled up on the couch. Her head rested near Aza's lap; the very top of Piper's head brushed against Aza's thigh and the girls' choppy chesnut hair splayed across her legs.
Aza could tell that Piper fell asleep almost immediately, and Leo followed soon after, leaving only Jason and Aza awake in a semi-awkward silence that was only broken by the occasional snores or sleep talk from their two companions. Aza licked her dry lips and cleared her throat slightly. "You should get some sleep, Jason. I'm sure you're tired."
She couldn't see him too well through the limited light, but she thought the boy shrugged in response. It took Jason several moments for him to do anything else, but finally the blonde took a deep, slightly rattling breath, like he was nervous about something.
"I'm sorry, Aza," Jason sighed, his voice low and raspy so as to not wake up their companions. "I shouldn't have ignored you after Chicago. I know you did what you thought was right. We couldn't have made it out of there without you."
Aza fidgeted uncomfortably, clasping her hands together and rubbing her left thumb over her right. She had never been particularly good with talking out her feelings or anything of the sort - she chalked it up to her lineage, seeing as Ares didn't deal with any emotion besides anger.
"I appreciate the apology," the girl said after several moments of tense silence, during which Jason worried that the girl was angry with him. "but, it's not needed. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I... swore I would never use my powers on my friends without their permission, and I went ahead and used the worst one on you."
Jason shuffled closer to the girl, kneeling on the floor in front of the her. He rested his hands on her knees, propping himself up slightly and leaning his face close to hers so the two could see each other in the limited light of the room. Aza was glad for the darkness; it hid the heat that spread through her face.
"It's okay," He whispered breathily. His voice was soft and sincere, both to prevent waking their friends and to reassure the girl that whatever tension between them had long since dissipated; he was no longer angry with Aza. Jason's face contorted slightly into a small, but warm, smile that made Aza's stomach flip.
The issue settled between the two, and both felt much better. Aza returned his warm smile, and unclenched her hands, resting them far more comfortably. "Now, go to sleep, Jason," Aza said with a small laugh. The blonde merely shook his head and settled on the ground, sitting with his legs crossed. Aza couldn't see his face too well, but she could feel a blush creep up the back of her neck, the way it had started to do whenever Jason smiled.
"Can we just... talk for a while, Az?" Jason asked tentatively, keeping his voice in a half-whisper. Aza's heart beat quite a bit faster, and she suddenly became very nervous. Her mind raced; what could he want to talk about? Was it something bad? Did she do something else wrong?
Nevertheless, Aza nodded and agreed unconfidently, chewing nervously on her bottom lip in anticipation. Jason cleared his throat and Aza could hear the slight sounds of him fiddling nervously, which struck her as odd.
"Like, tell me about you, Aza. I want to know more about you." Jason said firmly, but Aza could hear the slight shake in his voice, like he was nervous about even asking her.
"Um," Aza licked her lips nervously and fidgeted with her fingers. "okay, let me think."
Aza took several moments to consider what she should say - what did he even want to know? If he wanted to know about her past, did she really want to get into all of that at two in the morning in a booby-trapped house on a time-sensitive quest? Plus, how much did she want to tell him?
Aza kept her past a close-guarded secret. She didn't even think any one person knew everything about her life before she had reached Camp Half-Blood; Percy, Annabeth and Clarisse were the only people alive that knew some of her history, but none of the three knew the full story.
And Aza knew that it was silly to believe, but there had been one person that knew all of her past, and he had lost his life in the Titan War; what if her telling him had something to do with it? She couldn't let what had happened to the only person she loved happen to someone else.
"I..." Aza hesitated, making sure to censor herself and not tell Jason anything too detailed. "I'm from Arizona; I lived there with my mother until I was seven. Then, I was... in between living situations for a while and officially went on my own at ten. Gleeson was... my protector, too, actually. He was sent to sniff out my aunt in Arizona and stumbled across me when I was on my own.
I was at Camp for years before I got claimed. When Percy came to Camp, it was like... everything changed. Everyone could feel it. I got my hopes up that my father would claim me, but he didn't for years. It was only after a quest into the Labyrinth - it's a long story - that he finally claimed me. I think that was what finally proved my worth to him.
Of course, everyone had had their suspicions that my father was Phobos, Deimos or one of the minor gods of negative emotions before I was claimed; I mean, how many demigods do you see that look like me?" Aza gave a mirthless laugh and shook her head, shrugging lightly. She looked to Jason, who gave a hum of acknowledgement, but he didn't speak - he gave another hum for her to continue.
"Okay, um, so you know Percy, the guy who's missing? He's my best friend, or maybe Annabeth - I don't really know, I always go back and forth. Maybe both - but that's besides the point. He, Annabeth and I - and our friend Grover - went on what, four quests together? Five if you count the war and preparing for it. That's why we're so worried about him. Percy's not just any camper. He's special."
Aza finished, not really knowing what else to say - it was hard to think of how to respond when Jason asked her to tell him about herself. She could faintly see an outline of Jason nodded, and he made an understanding noise to show that he had listened to her, but he didn't go any further as to ask anything else or respond for several moments.
Aza wanted to ask questions about Jason, but she knew it would be useless. She, too, felt the itch at the back of her mind, wondering what made up the blonde's lost memories.
The girl settled back into the couch, stretching slightly as Jason rose and sat on the couch besides her, mumbling, "The ground's uncomfortable."
Aza merely hummed in response, feeling the couch shift beneath her while Jason adjusted, sliding slightly closer to Aza and subconsciously leaning in towards the body heated that radiated her.
Jason felt his heart race in his chest, and he almost felt it in his throat when he leaned his head closer to Aza's shoulder. He hovered over it and asked, "Is this okay?"
Aza looked over and blushed, but she nodded and said, "Yeah, it's fine." She could see Jason blush, even in the dark, as he rested his head on her shoulder, rubbing it slightly against her in a move to get comfortable.
Aza could tell he had fallen asleep almost instantly; Jason's breathing deepened and evened out and he twitched slightly. The two sat like that for several minutes. Then, in his sleep, Jason slung his arm slightly over Aza's torso, pulling her a bit closer, protectively tightening the pressure of his fingertips on her stomach.
Aza wished she could say she attentively kept watch that night, but the comfort of Jason's arm lulled her into a half-awake state and she spent the night enjoying the warmth that radiated from him.
A/N: hope y'all enjoyed <3