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t h i r t y - e i g h t
Nova rises with the sun.
Its presence is a rarity, disrupting winter's current reign of dimness and going against nature itself. It rises high, dominating the skies with a sudden surge of power, basking upon the thick hoards of clouds that clump together in confusion. Rays of light fall over the surface of their world, tinting the settled snow beneath with a pale glow.
A hue of yellow illuminates the room, which is now toned champagne, flooding through velvet curtains that have been drawn wide open, material tucked into hooks at either end, through the window glass and right over the bed. The waves of light are dazzling, holding some remnants of warmth that collides with the air. It isn't much, but it was all the sun could offer amidst winter.
It kisses the female currently entangled with silks sheets that are loose against her form, the grey material long having fallen to the curve of her hips and gathering, alongside the shirt and shorts she adorned.
She's curled up on her side, legs and arms exposed. Her deeply tanned skin is shimmery beneath this cast; her features are only highlighted with the caress of the sun, from the soft curves of her nose and jaw, to the pout of her lips and the lighter strands of hair from her crown and brows, only noticeable with this radiance.
Lashes are thick as they flutter, mocha pupils slow as they blink out of her oblivion. Even when she succeeds in defeating slumber, she remains motionless, resting her head against the pillow and simply lazing with what the morning had to offer, revelling in the warmth upon her. The female is completely still, apart from the gentle rise and fall to her chest.
For a moment Nova believes she's blessed with a moment of serenity, gifted a morning without perturbed thoughts that prick at her nerves, a time of peace for both mind and body.
That wasn't necessarily the case.
It's a haze that blurs in her head, nothing standing out or remotely making sense. It simply exists with a weighted pressure, one that conjugates in the centre of her head, which throbs as the buffered thoughts spin within her. It wasn't just the events of the night prior that nip at her, instead mirroring a tsunami that doesn't hesitate to destroy everything with it.
It's a strange sensation, her mind completely juxtaposing the state of her body, which is completely relaxed, limbs sinking into the sheets with utter bliss, eyes closed with the beat of the sun.
The female is so consumed with the whirlwind of her thoughts, that it takes her several minutes to even realise only she occupies the bed, the side to her left completely empty but holding a faint lingering musk, pungent with the morning. Her movements are light as she sits up, dazed eyes planted to her lap. Chocolate waves is pulled behind her neck, freezing in movement when spotting a figure in the cushioned chair in the very corner of the room.
Nova stills, a barely audibly breath hitching from the base of her throat. The front of her brows touch, wide eyes watching carefully as the fire in her mind suddenly ceases with one swift blow.
Her head tilts, lower lip pulled into her mouth as a rope tugs at her lower belly, a mass of flutters erupting from the lining.
Romaues must've been awake for a while.
The man currently sits with unruly, damp curls that remain wild and coarse on his head. His skin holds a sheen from the shower he'd taken earlier, broad form practically bulging beyond the frame of the chair. Dark ink is glossy with the brown of his skin. He adorns grey sweats and a black tee, knees spread. The lining of his stubbled jaw is taut, face stern and eyes brooding.
There's a phone pressed to his ear. His lips move ever so slightly – she can't hear anything that comes from them.
Gold flashes up to her instantly, movement so rough and jagged that it makes her recoil slightly, peeking out at him. Her cheeks turn flush with pink, the blood beneath her skin surfacing and becoming heated, the pulse of her heart calling to him.
Nova remembers it clearly.
He loved her. He was in love with her.
The bond whines between them, slotting with ease after the confession they passed the night prior, taking advantage of the fact that Nova wasn't feeling quite herself, shattered and vulnerable. It practically forces them together at this point, hard and reverent. It's allowed to after waiting so long.
The moon is no longer needed.
It was always inevitable.
Nova's muscles move on their own accord, padding down from the bed and across the velvety floors, the rays of light following her as she does so. She crawls into the crook of his lap, arms tucked into her chest and her head tucked into his. Her eyelids fall once again, female feeling content with what his presence serves her.
He was a haven. Her haven.
His arms are strong as they curve around her, weaving past her back and settling on the side of her bare thigh, a thumb caressing the flesh tenderly. Inked fingers come up to her forehead, tucking away the strays before returning. It's a kiss to her forehead, and then to the back of her neck before turning his attention to the person on the other side of his conversation.
The Alpha is quiet as he speaks, holding a devishly low tone that husks across her skin, raspy and heavy. It vibrates across the air, soothing and rough.
No reaction falls from her, staring out into the open with the dark tongue of italian falling from his mouth, a slight edge and wariness to the tone.
Only in his arms does she let herself think with clarity, playing with the ring of his other hand with splays flat in her lap.
Her eyes peek up, cheeks darkening to crimson when finding his hadn't moved from her not once. His mouth murmurs once more, hues steely as they narrow into hers.
Romaues loved her.
Her heart beats steadily, eased with it. But is also stirs up some trepidation within her, the ends of her nerves being toyed with.
Her gaze drops back into her lap, fingers still curling with his. It's a sigh that rolls from her shoulders, growing dazed in thought.
Nova didn't think she found it difficult to love someone. It was hard finding the right people to love. It took her months to even decide whether they were actually a friend of hers. Forming close bonds where she felt completely comfortable and free was something she struggled with. It only rarely happened.
When she did find the right people, Nova thought she was quite affectionate with those she considered close, and her love was quite passionate. She wasn't one to establish this connection with dozens of people, but the two or three people she had, she loved them wholly. She put all of herself into them. Nova thinks she loves well. She just doesn't love a lot of people.
She would consider her love to be intense, at least from her end. She thinks it's because she doesn't have that many people, so it's all just showered onto those special few. She didn't even know if she could distinguish the difference between platonic or romantic love, purely because the love she felt was so drastic from her part.
Nova can only think of the blonde when talking about love. And now Romaues.
But then all the people Nova loved, weren't the same as her. They had more people. More friends. Better people that they knew. Would they love her the same way she loved them? Nova didn't think so. It always surprised her when Kelsey expressed her adoration. She didn't know why.
The female shakes her head, losing her train of thought. She knew it was possible to love Romaues. It was possible because she trusted him.
Trusting was harder than loving for Nova. She trusted him with her everything.
Mocha hues peek up at the Alpha again, whose throat is tilted to the ceiling and a tension falling over him.
Nova couldn't see herself loving anymore people. She couldn't see herself forming this bond with anyone else. She didn't love Romaues fully yet, but she was attached. They had something deeply intimate together – he knew the worst of the worst. Nova couldn't ever have this with anyone else. He made her feel things she never thought she could feel. He took her to these surges of happiness and safety, and was able to quell her anxiousness with ease.
He was perfect. How could he not be?
He was made just for her.
He was her gift too.
Nova couldn't deny herself this anymore. She couldn't deny them both this anymore. It wasn't fair to either of them. They deserved each other, did they not? She would fall in love with him. She had to stop holding herself back and walk the path that had been set. There was never going to be anyone but him. She knows this. She knew this. It's always been him.
Falling for him would cost nothing. And she had already taken the first step. She was falling.
A small slither of malicious panic seizes her. She swallows in a mouthful of air.
Letting herself love Romaues would be greedy of her.
She was taking the prize without putting in the work. She was taking the Alpha without becoming a Luna.
Nova didn't think she wanted to be a Luna. It was never an aspiration for her. She didn't even know it was her destiny. She wanted to pave her own path in life. It unnerved her. Nova didn't want to do it. It made her feel uneasy.
It was a huge responsibility, and Nova didn't think she could take it on. Not with the way she was.
Her heart winces, recalling the cruel words. Damaged goods. It is all she was.
Her head curves into him, shuffling closer and seeking his warmth. Another kiss to the top of her head, dismissing her unease.
The pack needed a Luna. And Romaues wouldn't take on someone else. Could she be selfish?
He called her his gift. He was her gift too. Gifts were gifts. They were free. Couldn't she just let herself indulge in him, the way he was meant to be? He was given to her by the Moon, free from any responsibility or consequence.
She could just take him. She could just be selfish and think only of herself.
Her heart wavers again. It's a subconscious shake of her head.
Nova couldn't be selfish. It would be mean. He had a duty to his pack.
She lingers on the thought for a little longer. If the bond was inevitable, then surely so was her becoming Luna? Maybe she should just let the Moon guide her. Maybe she should put faith in the Moon and take it day by day. The Luna position was always here. There was always the opportunity to become a Luna. She could just see what it was like. Little by little. There was no pressure.
The Moon was with her. Romaues was with her.
Little by little.
An audible sigh comes from her, features growing dim.
What if she never became Luna? What if she did, and she was a bad Luna?
Damaged goods. A traumatised bitch.
That's all she was.
She wasn't a Queen.
Her head turns dark with thoughts, thinking back to the dinner with the Lupus family the night prior. She grows cold, a shudder wracking through her limbs as a hollowness begins to empty her.
She inhales and exhales . It didn't matter. She would never see them again. The words Layla left behind were hurtful, and hit her weakest spots, but she couldn't let that knock down her progress. Nova was making progress; slow, but it was still there.
Was she going to let a spiteful individual ruin that for her?
Layla was in pain too; she rejected her half. But your pain was never an excuse to inflict pain on someone else. Nova learnt that from her father.
A sound of discontent comes from her, quiet and sullen. It didn't matter now. They were long gone, and completely irrelevant.
Nova knows this, and the pain that comes with the words subside. It's a faint memory, one that means nothing to her now. But even so her curiosity pricks at her.
Layla Lupus knew everything about her. Everything. She used it all to ridicule Nova, from her mother and father being rogues, her mother passing and her father growing abusive. She even used Nova's poverty and the fact that she had to go into stripping to make ends meets.
Nova flinches with the words, reminding herself they weren't true. She wasn't a whore.
They knew. How did they know?
Her head curves up to the male, who has since put down his phone, both his hands around her and admiring the view beyond his balcony doors in silence.
"Romaues?" her tone is small, eyes widening innocently, mouth pursing. His eyes drop to her like honey. She adjusts herself, sitting up a little taller.
It's a moment, trying to think about how to phrase it.
"How did Layla know everything about me?" it rings out into the room. His expression remains stoic.
"Did-did you tell them?" mocha hues watch him carefully. It isn't an accusation. She just wants to know. It bothers her.
A sigh comes from the pit of abdomen, chest rumbling as it does so.
"No. We told them nothing of you, not even the name that you've been given. They knew I had a mate, but only that fact," he tells her, voice sincere.
A breath comes from her nose, thinking again. It's quiet.
The Martelli's didn't tell them about this. So then how would they know? Alpha Lyra and his pack wouldn't say anything, would they? She thinks about it for several moments.
"Did they do something bad? To me? I mean-could they have?" her thoughts have turned sour. She's pulled closer to him, eyes still peeking up at him.
He isn't surprised that she's able to pull it together.
"I want to be transparent with you. That's always been my intention. I will admit, I did something wrong. I kept something from you, because I didn't want you to be hurt. It was wrong," he lays it out flat. She just watches him softly.
He tells her in a low tone, how his mother had organised a meeting before the dinner and how she spoke of her suspicions about the Lupus family targeting Nova. He tells them of the plan, how they essentially used Nova to bait out Layla, and get the confirmation that the Lupus family was involved.
Nova listens with a stoic expression.
It's quiet after he finishes, his hand cusping hers.
"I know it was wrong. I'm sorry I put you in that position. I used you and it wasn't okay. You shouldn't have been in a situation like that, and I put you in it. In a room full of the people who hurt you. I'm so sorry. It was my fault. I-," she shakes her head.
"The plan was already set before you knew about it. There was nothing you could've done," her tone is dry. Her head feels a little faint with what she had learnt, stomach coiled.
These people made her a rape victim. And she had dinner with them.
Her face scrunches, wanting to rid the thought. The more she thought about it, the more distraught she would be.
"It happened. It's over now. I'm never going to see them again," she looks to him and he nods with certainty. She nods too, pursing her mouth.
"So, its confirmed?" looking at him, wringing her wrists. The Alpha sighs.
"Will they get in trouble? Like, it's not going to go to waste? The dinner was at least helpful, right?" her voice is small. Romaeus' eyes grow dark.
"You will be served justice. They will be punished," she shifts again.
"Promise?" looking up at him. His thumb curves to her chin, nearing her face.
"I promise," and she nods, feeling better. She didn't want to think about it anymore.
"We'll be taking it to the courts later. There's a meeting later tonight, after dinner about it. We'll go together, if that's okay with you?" and she nods, feeling his lips on her temple.
They bask together in the light after, cherishing the moments of serenity between them as the morning sun casts over them. It's only when the male urges her to freshen up, desperate to get some food into her.
"I'm not angry about last night. It hurt yes. And knowing that they're the reason why all the bad things happen, doesn't make me feel good. I'm not angry. I just want to move on," she clarifies, and he nods with a tender expression.
"You can move on," he tells her. She laces her fingers with his.
"With you?" it's a smile that graces his lips.
"Together,"
A/N - lol this took me forever to write. idk how i feel about it. just tryna get back into it. it might seem choppy and the book might not flow well.