Evan
I quickly ducked into a different hallway as Maverick approached me with a determined expression. He still refused to talk to me in public and I'd avoided being alone with him for an entire week. Students milled about and I weaved through them with great effort. When I looked behind me, Maverick was standing at the end of the hall looking straight at me, a frown marring his handsome face.
As soon as I reached the cafeteria, my stomach roiled uncomfortably. I sighed. It was already an hour past lunch and I'd hoped to finally eat something for the day, but didn't feel like seeing it coming up again. The sickness had gotten even worse over the past week.
I desperately wanted to be alone, but knew that Maverick would corner me the moment I was. I'd taken to sitting at the picnic tables on the grass quad in the middle of the academy grounds with the other students just to avoid him. Even the constant teasing and disapproving looks was better than seeing him flinch away from me again.
I could still hardly believe it. He'd seemed to really like me at first. I'd even felt the souldbound connection, but it was all a lie. He cared what I was and where I came from just as much as all the others did. I thought soulbounds were supposed to love you no matter what. Now, it seemed he judged me just as much as everyone else did. Even worse was all of them mindlessly following along with my clan's treatment of me. Not that they even were my clan. I was only placed in their care because I had nowhere else to go. An orphan elf, what a joke. Not even my parents had wanted me. I was found on the Hennecky Clan's lands at the age of three. Since then, they had made sure my every day was a living hell.
Jason, the Hennecky Clanmaster's son, made sure that everyone knew what I was and about what he called my perverse desires. It just hurt worse because I had foolishly believed Maverick wouldn't mind who I was. It was silly. I'd always known there was a chance my soulbound would take one look at me and walk away. Why was it so difficult to accept now that it had happened?
Soulbounds were a term used to describe the person who shared your soul. The story goes that every elf's soul is split in two at birth. Somewhere during the five hundred years of our lifetime, we would meet someone who shared a part of our soul. That person would be destined for you by fate and you are expected to love and care for them for the rest of their lives.
Guess it worked differently when you were a bearer. I thought he knew. I thought everyone knew.
I'd been shunned all my life for what I was. Bearers weren't as uncommon as they used to be, but we were mostly still seen as the lowest of the low in our society. Outcasts. Rejects. Bearers were men who were able to become pregnant. Centuries ago, they were killed at birth. Now, we were left alive, but not accepted by the majority of our people per the Elder Council's rules. It was so ridiculous. Since when was carrying babies a problem? Since it meant you were probably gay, thats when. I shook my head. How ridiculous.
I took out my books and tried to study. Because of my fatigue, I'd been missing a lot of what was said in class. Many professors berated me on a daily basis. Only two, Maverick and Jackson, let me be when I could barely pick up my head in their classes. My vision swam. I hadn't had a proper meal in a long time. I couldn't keep this up.
My eyes closed in an attempt to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I was so alone. I couldn't stand it anymore.
I dozed under a tree for most of the day before going back to the dorms. The Hennekey Clan liked to torture and taunt. They weren't respectable people. It was widely known that they liked to use the resources the other clans work so hard to provide. They never contributed and they took their elemental magic as a right, not the privilege it was.
As my bedroom door closed behind me, I realised my mistake. I hadn't checked the room before going in. I was going to pay for that. Five sets of eyes turned to me. The biggest man stood up as a smirk played on his lips. The younger son of the Hennekey Clanmaster, Gordon, was the bane of my existence. He was also the unofficial leader of the clan while they were at the academy. Even though Jason was older, Gordon was crueler and the Henneckys appreciated his style of leadership.
Gordon advanced towards me, the four others fanning around him in a half circle. I barely had time to suck in a breath before his fist hit my cheek. My head snapped back. The next moment, I was on the floor. They kicked me and hit me over and over. Tears were streaming down my face. My body was on fire. It wasn't anything new. They did it for pleasure, I assumed. If it were anyone else, the other students would tell on them and the clans would defend the person being attacked. I had no one to tell, so their desires could be sated with me. I was just convenient.
It felt like hours before they stopped, but once they did, they laughed, one of them breathed the word, "fag," before slamming the door shut on their way out. I breathed laboriously. The sun dipped below the horizon and the room was shrouded in darkness by the time I gathered the courage to move.
My muscles screamed in protest, but I couldn't stay there. They'd be back before long and I had to get away before they did. My empty stomach rumbled as I passed through the front door of the building.
I made my way to the cafeteria agonizingly slow. The only thing that sounded good was an apple. I grabbed one from the bowl, keeping my eyes locked on the floor in front of my feet. Just before I made my way down the steps leading away from the building, something flashed across my vision. The apple fell to the floor with a dull thud.
With great difficulty, I lifted my eyes. Jason's smirking face filled my vision. I couldn't gather the strength to bend to the floor and pick up the only food I would've had for the day. I tended to avoid the cafeteria for exactly this reason. It happened almost daily.
Jason was yelling insults at my back, the others jeering him on. I was done, though. They'd gone too far. Or maybe I had. I would never fit into this society. It was time I accepted that.
I headed to the lake, determination fuelling my tired body.
*****
Maverick
I rubbed at my chest absentmindedly with my left hand. I'd been feeling constricted for hours now. I stared out at the lake in front of me. The lake where I'd so royally screwed up with Evan. Sadness washed over me once more. A simple misunderstanding.
I didn't care whether Evan was a bearer. In fact, I loved that he was. I'd known I was attracted to men from a young age and the existence of bearers in my species filled me with hope. What could be better than mating someone with all the right parts that could also carry your children?
I scrubbed a hand over my face. My lungs felt tight and I struggled to take a deep breath. Evan had completely misunderstood me. He thought I would judge him. Little did he know that I was incapable of feeling anything but love for him. He must have felt our soulbound connection, too. He ought to realise then that nothing about him could make me love him less. He was a part of my soul.
Only a few more months, I reminded myself. After losing control and having sex with him, I'd vowed to keep my distance from Evan to protect both of us. I only had to wait until the end of the year when he graduated to finally claim him as mine. Then, the elders wouldn't be able to say anything about it.
Something on the other side of the lake caught my attention. A shock of white blond hair made me sit up straighter. What was Evan doing here? He was supposed to be in the dining hall eating dinner. In the next moment, I was running to him as fast as my legs could carry me.
I suddenly knew why I'd felt like death for half of the day. Evan had felt like death, and my body was trying to force me into action. Too bad my stupid self hadn't recognised it.
Evan didn't hesitate. He reached the edge of the lake and walked straight in. He was already ankle deep when I snagged his wrist. He cried out in pain and I almost let go, but couldn't risk him going through with his plan. His free hand was wrapped around his waist and tears were steadily rolling down his face. But deep in myself, I knew what he wanted to do.
"What are you doing?" I asked calmly. Then, I snapped. I knew he hated me, but this? "Are you seriously so spiteful that you'd kill yourself rather than carry my baby?" I screamed. I couldn't believe him. After last week, I was certain he was pregnant after our encounter. I'd been meaning to talk to him, offer support and reassurances. Perhaps work out a plan where we could be together. He'd always avoided me, though.
Evan was staring at me in silent shock. Suddenly, his face twisted with fury. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about. This is my choice. There is nothing left to live for."
"How can you say that?" My voice broke and I tried to clear my throat, but my lungs were still tight. "You have your whole life. We have our whole lives. Together."
He scoffed. "So that I can be kept around and used when you need relief every few months? No thank you." He made a move as if to pull free and I yanked him closer to me. "You don't know what it's like!" His sudden words stunned me. "I don't have a life, Maverick. I don't have family. I don't have friends. No clan wants me and nothing in the human world will ever feel like home. I've been sick for so long and there was no one to talk to. I can't leave classes or go anywhere on campus because they find me and they make me pay. Pay for being alive. Pay for being me."
My eyes widened as realisation dawned on me. I haven't ever seen him talking with someone. Ever. I'd failed him. Shame burned through my gut.
Evan was whispering the words when he continued. "I haven't eaten all day. I can't risk the dining hall most days and everything I put in comes out anyway. They beat me. I was lying on the floor, cowering, showing them I wasn't a treat, and they beat me. They kicked and hit me, yelled slurs my way." He took a deep breath, but winced. My blood boiled. They'd hurt my beautiful soulbound. I sobered. I'd hurt him, too, just differently. "I can't go on."
I couldn't allow that. I tugged his wrist gently. He walked into my arms willingly. Gingerly, I put my arms around him, careful not to squeeze or press down. My mouth was nestled in his hair, breathing in his scent and placing soft kisses there. "Give me a chance. Just one. That's all I ask. You're my soulbound and I need you. Give me a chance to fix my mistake."
"But I'm-"
"You. You're you. And you're beautiful. And strong. You misunderstood me a week ago. I don't care that you're a bearer. At least not in the way that you think. I care that we had sex and now you don't feel well. We need to get a blood test done as soon as possible, but you need to heal first. Come on."
I hooked my arms around him, one behind his back and one in the curve of his legs and swung him into my arms bridal style. He weighed nothing. Jesus, how long had he been starving like this? His intense sickness made sense, though. Not because of the possible pregnancy, but because of me. Elven young needed their soulbound parents to be together to allow them to thrive. I'd barely even touched Evan. His body was failing him because he needed my strength to survive. The more time we spent together, the stronger our connection would grow and the stronger our bodies would consequently become.
The walk to my house felt twice as long as usual. I had to get Evan to safety. I had to get him fed, warm and resting. Getting the door open with him still in my arms was tricky, but I managed it with some manoeuvring. I was lucky I didn't have to lock the door on academy grounds.
Just having Evan safe in my space was already improving my morale. To my left was my living room and I quickly veered into it. I gently lay Evan down on the couch. When I let him go, his t-shirt, which was clearly a few sizes too big, fell away from his shoulder. His skin was a sickly grey. My finger indentations were also clearly visible.
"You're dehydrated."
Evan looked at me a long moment. "That doesn't surprise me. I haven't had any water today." At my disapproving look, he shrugged, but winced almost at the same time. "If I drink water, I become nauseous."
Now that we were together, he should be feeling better. The more time we spent together, the more his body would heal itself. "Want something to eat?"
"Not really hungry," Evan said.
"Will you humour me?"
He paused then nodded, and I turned back into the hallway and this time entered the room on the right. The kitchen was sleek and modern and I felt a moment of gratitude that I preferred to have both breakfast and dinner at home instead of in the dining hall. At least I had some food for Evan. I quickly grabbed a tray, plate and cutlery. A bottle of water joined them and a piece of leftover lasagna went on the plate and straight into the microwave. Evan was badly malnourished, but I'd worry about getting him all the nutritious foods he'd need tomorrow. Tonight, he just needed to survive.
The steady sound of the microwave warming its contents filled the kitchen. My thoughts drifted. At the academy, we were given houses on the grounds to live in if we worked here. It wasn't exactly family friendly, so only unbound staff lived on the property, the others lived in the nearby town or in one of the clan spaces. The square house only had a kitchen, living room, bathroom and one bedroom. It was more than enough space for me, but I wouldn't be able to raise a baby here. If he really was pregnant, that is. I could think of nothing else that would make him this sick. Simple soulbound seperation wouldn't have been this bad.
The microwave dinged to signal it was done. I carried the tray back to the living room and placed first a pillow and then the tray on top on Evan's lap. He stared at the giant piece of lasagna for a long second before apparently deciding his stomach wasn't going to complain. At his first bite, he moaned and I smiled as I plopped down next to him, as close as I could be without sitting on top of him. He froze a moment, but resumed eating without saying anything. He was halfway done before he took another break. He twisted the bottle cap and took a long drink before resuming his dinner.
When both the lasagna and water were gone, I offered to get him more. Anything he wanted, he would get. "Maybe more water, but I'm okay on the food." He looked at me through his lashes. "Did you make it?" At my nod, he blushed. "It was good. You're a good cook."
The flustered, blushing male sitting on my couch was not the one I'd gotten to know a little through my classes with him. That Evan was shy, reserved and rarely had an opinion. I hoped to see more of this one in the future. I left to get another bottle of water.
"Can you make it to the bed or do you need me to carry you?" I asked after checking that my room was clean and neat.
"I can make it. Help me up?"
I was at his side in a second and gently helped him to stand with an arm hooked around his waist. The progress was slow, but he eventually fell down to sit on the edge of the bed with a tired groan.
I dropped to my knees on the floor. Evan stiffened noticeably, but I gently touched his ankle and he didn't say anything as I removed his shoes. His jeans looked uncomfortable as well and I quickly got a pair of my sweatpants from my dresser. It would be much too big, but it was soft, fluffy and warm. It would be much better than what he had. He didn't say anything when I removed his jeans and slid the sweatpants up his legs. His grey eyes watched me silently.
As soon as I was done, I stood back to admire my work. He looked comfortable and colour was already returning to his face. A few weeks of hearty meals and time spent together would heal him well.
I quickly ducked into the bathroom to complete my evening routine. By the time I came out, freshly showered and dressed in pajamas, Evan was asleep on top of the duvet. I watched him for a moment. Even sick, he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. Fear crept into my head. We could be seperated forever if the Elder Council wanted it. I pushed doubts to the back of my mind. My souldbound needed me and I'd be there for him no matter what. Circumstances have changed. I would deal with the consequences when they arose.
I gently picked him up and moved him under the covers. He barely stirred. I was just about to leave and sleep on the couch when his hand shot out to grip my forearm. "Stay," he whispered. I silently nodded and slipped in next to him. In his sleep, he cuddled closer to me and I wrapped my arms around him, cocooning him in my embrace. I kissed his temple.
We would be okay. We had to be.