Lea’s POV --
Who would have guessed that one line of cocaine could trip you up so badly? I definitely wouldn’t have. My vision was an extreme dismay of bright colors and fuzzy things. Things were more sharp rather than distorted, I felt giddy with myself too. No tension whatsoever, no animosity towards the only place where animosity is aimed; myself. Everything I touched had it’s own softness to it, I’m pretty sure a cactus would feel soft at this point but I’m not willing to test the theory.
My legs bolted along with every muscle in my body. Jason, with his arms circled around my thighs, breathed against my skin heavily. Maybe it was the drugs, or maybe just the fact that I knew soon enough I would be feeling Jason’s tongue in a place where only my fingers, soap, and water have gone, but I could literally grasp the sense of his breath. As if my pores opened up and soaked it all in, heating my bloodstream. I opened my eyes and elevate my head, curious to see why he was beginning to transform into the biggest tease.
Our eyes meet, raising my excitement into pure anxiety. The smirk on his face was nothing short of evil. With me locked in his gaze, I knew I was in for a wild turn. He licks his lips and my entire body shivered. Not only did my vision feel sharpened but my hearing as well. My mouth opened just enough for air to enter and exit, for some reason I had lost the ability to use my nose. Or maybe I simply forgot how to use it altogether. Jason’s entire mouth enveloped my vagina and along with the heat of his breath came the warmth of his tongue. My eyes widened and my hands gripped the sheets of Jason’s bed with more strength than I realized I had. With my eyes glued to his, I witness his tongue tasting every last bit of me in one long stride.
I had to toss my head back or do something that’ll free me from his stare. However, even with my eyes shut, nothing could escape the deep brown of his eyes and that diabolical look. I huffed, arching my back to an extent all too dangerous for my own good.
“Look at me.” He says and it wasn’t a sentence that was open for my choices. This was a demand that he was certain would be obeyed without a fuss. “Watch me.”
I didn’t want too. Actually, I did. No, I did and I didn’t at the same time. My body was quivering and it took decades for the courage to pile up in my head. Once again, I raised my head off of the bed and met that strong glare. I blinked and balanced myself out by resting on my elbows. With my left hand, I place my palm on his head and grip a tight, handful of his hair.
“Jason!” That voice was too deep and loud to have been mine.
Perhaps the voice had just been in my head because it didn’t seem to change the expression of Jason’s face. His eyes closed and fulfilling his lustful urges, he takes another long and slow lick. I bit my lower lip and shut my eyes for merely a second, fearing he’d catch me with my eyes closed. My stomach sucked in, reaching far enough to touch my spine. His large hands gripped my thighs to keep them from shaking so wildly. I tugged on his hair and listen to thesound his tongue made each time it made contact with my skin. That sound mixed with the soft moan I released, creating a sensual melody that caused the most gorgeous grin to fix on Jason’s face.
“Jason! Get the fuck down here!” This time, for sure, I was certain that someone else was in this house.
Jason stood up with a force that knocked me down on the mattress. My legs felt lifeless and on top of that, my head was still on another planet. Skimming the room, Jason strolls around until he stops and crotches down to snatch my pants from the ground. I ignored how roughly he tossed the pants onto my lap, my eyes were too busy admiring the beauty of his body. If we were cartoon characters, I could easily envision hearts taking the form of my eyes and water dripping from my mouth; creating a river that stretched farther than the Nile.
“Ignore it.” I whipped my hand out fast enough to grasp his forearm. “He’ll leave.”
“I wish.” He groaned, eyeing the door to his room. “He’s not going anywhere.”
I held my grip on his arm with much force. On my knees, I step close enough towards the edge of his bed and with my free hand I touch his chest. I didn’t feel right, not in a dangerous way of speaking but just in general. I felt empty and unsatisfied and there was no way I could continue breathing like this. I avoid his eyes, knowing he watched my every move with much care. After licking my lips, I kiss his chest softly and feel upon his skin with my fingertips. The kisses move downwards and my hands take hold of his jeans.
“Fuck.” His voice was so low, so deep and hoarse that I froze for literally three seconds until the chills in my body subsided. “Baby if Ace weren’t here I’d let you suck my dick.”
“Lock the door,” I look up at him, my chin delicately brushing against his abs. “You can’t tease me like this.”
He shook his head and my heart nearly exploded. I felt so famished and desirable. Within a few minutes I could see myself throw a tantrum if something wasn’t done about this undeniable thirst or undeniable want to feel Jason’s tongue give me pleasure. His hands come up to my shoulder and he pushes me back hard enough so that I’d bounce at least once before settling down.
I couldn’t help myself, I grinned and as he climbed over me I crossed my arms around his neck. There was no mistaking it, I wanted Jason to take my virginity right now. I didn’t care if Ace got to listen in on the sounds that would take place in this very room. He could be standing at the threshold for all I cared, I just wanted Jason. All of him.
“Fuck me.” I say in a velvet like voice, right into his ear.
“I want to.” Tilting his head, he kisses my neck. “So bad.”
“What are you waiting for?” I nearly whined, “Take me.”
Suddenly, he stops kissing me. He was touching me but at the same time, he wasn’t. Very slowly, he raises his head until our eyes have met. I couldn’t focus my eyes on one thing now that he was so close, I stared at everything. His eyes, nose, mouth, eyebrows, even his cheeks. I searched for some sort of flaw but found nothing, even with these sharp eyes I couldn’t sense any discrepancy. Too quick for my eyes to catch, he licks his lips and leans in to place one passionate kiss on my lips.
“I get closer,” He jerked my body upwards somehow. I hadn’t noticed before but now I realized he was holding me. A steel grip on my shirt tighter than the strength my jeans could ever have on my hips. A splutter of emotions take control of me, none of which I could give names too. “And closer, each time Lea. It won’t be long until we go all the way, beautiful.”
I blinked and zero in my brain on soaking in his words. Even so, that became a problem once he began to shower me with kisses in all the right areas. Starting from my lips to my chin and heading towards the right; where he follows my jaw structure and eventually ends, where my neck begins. Goosebumps decorate my skin and his lips continue on a hunt. In search of the perfect section to smother upon.
“Tell me something, Lea.” I felt his lips tug into a tight grin and he pecks the crook of my neck with much tenderness. “How many times do you expect to scream my name during our first round?”
Swift as a cat, he untangles himself from my arms and rolls out of his bed. Running his hand through his tousled hair, he looks back at me and smirks knowingly. I tried my best to keep my breathing natural but there was no hope when someone so perfect left you feeling so vibrant.
“You should get high more often Lea.” He chuckles and heads for the door. “Think about what I said but don’t think too long.”
I needed to give myself at least twenty minutes to relax. If I sat up straight too fast, I’d feel dizzy and with this drug in my system I felt just as strong as I felt weak. I swallowed every few seconds and cleared my throat repeatedly. After I could stand without laughing at myself for more than a minute--and after I slid into my panties and jeans--I decided it was safe for me to head downstairs where I found Ace and Jason seated in the living room. Ace caught the sight of me first and afterwards came Jason who stood up and took three large steps towards me. Carelessly, I allow myself to fall into his arms and drill my cheek into his bare chest.
I laughed loud enough to annoy not only myself but Ace and Jason as well. I couldn’t tell if I had began laughed the minute I embraced Jason or when he began to lead me towards the couch. It didn’t matter either way because neither action required laughter as loud as mine. I looked at Ace after crashing onto the couch and he eyes me momentarily until the left corner of his mouth rose into a smirk that ridiculed me.
“What did you do to her Jason?” He laughed, unable to tear his eyes away from me. “Damn her eyes are fucked up.”
“Are they really?” I turned in Jason’s direction and pout my lips, sincerely worried but still too high to fully care. “I can’t go home like this.”
“It’s ok baby, it’ll go away soon.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder reassuringly.
I nod once and look back at Ace, “Why are you here?”
Jason laughed and I purposely turned to look at his smile. I wanted to memorized every single one of his features from his happiest to his most depressed or serious. Ace cleared his throat but I was too busy admiring Jason to even look anywhere else. Curiosity killed the cat and I couldn’t stop myself from touching Jason’s face softly. I kissed his cheek and smiled to myself. A random thought popped into my head, all of a sudden I was so grateful to have Jason. To be able to call him mine and know that he’d put me before any other girl.
“She’s fucked.” Ace laughs again and sits back. “Probably worse than Brody.”
“Brody’s stupid as shit when he’s high, Lea’s just touchy.” Jason retorts, giving me a confident squeeze on my shoulder.
I must have fallen asleep because after that I can’t remember anything. Besides that, as I felt around, there was no sign of Jason nor Ace. I could hear chatter, somewhere off into the distance. The words being spoken were all mushed together, I couldn’t comprehend anything and I held no need to anyway. My head held a slight pain after a few seconds of opening my eyes and adjusting to the vision I once obtained before experimenting on drugs. The TV was on and displaying a game that had been paused in the middle of a battle scene. The smoke of a cigarette raised from the center of the ashtray, on Jason’s coffee table, towards the ceiling. As I looked closely, I found that in fact it wasn’t a cigarette, instead it happened to be a candlestick and the smell in the room wasn’t of tobacco or weed but of fresh pine.
“You guys swear I’m fucking around.” I could finally hear sentences clearly now that I placed focus onto my ears. The voice was feminine and very serious. A pinch of fear ran through my veins and the thought of that voice belonging to Lana terrified me.
“Scarlett, I stopped talking to Sandrine a while ago, you can get off my dick about it now.” It wasn’t hard to decipher the difference between Ace and Jason. Thankfully though, his sentence made an effortless attempt to place me back into the safe zone.
“I know you have and I’m grateful, but you haven’t.” Scarlett’s voice grew furious as she directed her sentence towards who I'm assuming to be Ace. “I already talked to Brody too, you both need to keep her out of this shit. That’s not even what I came here for but I just brought it up since it seemed like the right time.”
The itching in my throat worsened until I couldn’t bear it any longer. Unlike before, I stood up with ease and perfect balance. I was no longer teeter-tottering the balance between my strengths and my weaknesses. Casually, I amble out of the living room and direct myself towards the kitchen. Silence finally has a sound because all at once, that is all I’m able to get a vibe of. I search for a cup in one of the cabinets, I’ve been here countless times and still have yet to get the gist of this kitchen. So far the only place where I can easily predict where certain things will be is the refrigerator. Although I was nowhere to be seen, I had this horrible feeling of being watched like in a classroom full of people and being the only one who answered a question wrong. Everyone scrutinized you and evidently the feeling of mortification bestows upon you.
I pour myself a glass of water and exit the kitchen, drinking from the cup as I’m walking. I pass by the threshold which led towards the dining room and within seconds Jason races to catch the sight of me.
“I have to take you home.” He says, his facial expression was as calm as he voice was collected. “It’s not safe for you to hear the stuff we’re about to get into.”
“Why?” I scoff and take another sip of my water. My throat was singing as the liquid ran through it lovingly. “I won’t tell anyone, you know that.”
“I know baby, I’m not worried about that.” He waves both of his hands and then places them onto my shoulders, his thumbs massage the skin they touch. I stare deep into his eyes, searching for a sign of falsification but fall onto nothing but pure honesty. “It’s just for your safety, trust me.”
I obliged but stare at him skeptically. Before leaving, I say goodbye to both Scarlett and Ace. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her and yet she somehow managed to make herself look better than before. Her hair appeared more golden, perhaps she dyed it? The outfit--a black mini dress with a gold belt around the stomach; setting off the illusion of the perfect hourglass shape--she wore gave her the look of a vintage model you’d see on the cover of magazines and the red lipstick which painted her lips could put Marilyn Monroe to shame.
Jason’s POV --
“Promise you won’t say anything about what happened earlier?” Lea questions as I’m driving along the road towards Lana’s apartment.
I purposely drove slow for two reasons. First being that I liked to have a little time to just be with Lea. I was never fully myself when others were around, it’s as if something blocked that from happening. I just couldn’t be comfortable not even if it were simply Lea, Ace, and Brody. I had this urge to be happy around them all. With solely Lea, I could open up and be the depressed guy I know I am. The best part about that is knowing I’m not alone and Lea wouldn’t judge me either way. Second, I just wasn’t looking forward to heading home to talk business. I’d hear the same things just with different names. So-and-so haven’t paid you back, meaning so-and-so must be killed in this or that many weeks. So-and-so wants more cocaine. So-and-so this and so-and-so that.
“I promise.” I say and pat Lea’s thigh softly. “I’ll wait until we’ve actually fucked to say something.”
“Don’t.” She points her finger at me and then begins to laugh cutely. “That’s so embarrassing. I still can’t believe I said half the things I said. I couldn’t tell Lana...not yet.”
“You don’t have to go into detail. Don’t tell her that you told me to fuck you.” I laughed now and caught her rolling her eyes.
“I can’t believe I said that.” She shook her head and smothered her hands against her face. “I looked so desperate.”
“I liked it.” I shrug and cast a glance her way. “I like a girl that knows what she wants.”
Gradually, she lowers her hands and places one upon mine. We were at a stop sign, with no cars coming from any direction and no cars rushing for me to drive, so I kept my foot on the brake and my eyes on Lea’s gorgeous face. Her body turns in my direction and she smiles cutely, smacking my shoulder lightly.
“Well then it’s quite obvious that I want you.” She attempts to wink but fails drastically.
We both laugh but only for a short amount of time. I liked this moment right here, just staring at her. Something was so different about Lea, besides the obvious fact that she was just high off of both cocaine and weed. I haven’t held such attraction to a girl in a what’s been a few months that I can remember. To add on to that, I haven’t been this cheerful around someone like this either. I knew Lea was good for me but I was the complete opposite. I would never do her any good in life but I can’t see myself walking away from her when it’s getting this far. I’m as desperate for affection as the devil was desperate for power.
“Does it ever scare you that if the police, or better yet my parents, ever found out about….us,” Lea gulps and quirks her eyebrows in the same timeframe. “They’d make sure that we’d never be together again?”
A car was pulling up from behind me and to avoid the sound of a horn honking obnoxiously, I pull over on the curb and kill the engine. It was getting late, street lamps were lighting up in a pattern. One after the other. Where I parked kept both Lea and I in remote darkness and a tree shielded us but dropped leaves onto the windshields as the wind picked up.
“Does it scare you?” I ask her.
“Yes.” She stifles a laugh, “Jason, I have no friends. Kira was my only friend but now she’s up Sandrine’s ass, so I have no one. I know I have Lana but I’m talking about people who aren’t blood related.” She's silent and a sigh breaks that in half.
“It worries me.” I turn my head in her direction, “Knowing that you’re so isolated like that.”
“I have you.” She shrugs, absolutely content with that realization. “May I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I sink deeper into the seat, feeling rather comfortable with this conversation and the setting around us.
“Do you trust me?”
“I feel like we’ve been over this conversation before.” I reply drily.
“Maybe so, I still want an answer.” She speaks without hesitation.
“I do.”
“I feel like you’re still holding back from me.” She sighs and lowers her head, “You don’t have to be afraid to tell me anything.”
“Give it time.” I exhale.
“Learn to trust me.” She urges, twisting her body forward. The delicacy that was her voice sent a wave of peace through my body. “So that when you’ve lost trust in everyone, even yourself, you’ll still have me.”
I restart the ignition, still looking at Lea as I’m doing so. Prior to driving off, I lean to the side and turn Lea’s face towards me with my index finger. I kiss the smile she had on her lips and hold it, resting my fingers on her chin. She pulls away and giggles only to have my lips interrupt her session of laughter.
Everything about this girl put my emotions in the right place.
After the drive, I tell Lea that I’ll pick her up from school tomorrow. I had no plans and I’d much rather spend the day with her over counting money that can be counted any other day. Back home, unfortunately, I had to go through an hour of talking to Scarlett and Ace. Adding onto my dismay, I wouldn’t have much time with Lea tomorrow after all. Of course I’d still be picking her up but afterwards I’ll just be heading off to dispose of people who haven’t paid up what they owe.
“You don’t seem all that interested in killing this guy.” Scarlett arched her eyebrow, bewildered.
“I’m not.” I stare at my fists which were folded together.
“That’s a first.” Her eyes widened and she looks at Ace who held a similar expression to hers.
“What’s with the lack of interest?” Ace asks, “Anything to do with Lea?”
“Ahh.” Scarlett nods her head slowly, emphasizing her statement. “It’s most definitely Lea.”
“Jason McCann finally putting someone before the business.” Ace clapped his hands together, in both mockery and praise.
I remained shut. It’s not like I could fight against them with this conversation. All the lines were drawn out and pointed in Lea’s direction. Nonetheless, that won’t change anything. I’ll keep Lea by my side but keep the money rolling in for as long as I need. I can balance both...I know I can.
Lea’s POV --
School is absolutely horrible. I honestly can’t wait for this bell to ring so I can get the fuck out of here.
Last night I had a short conversation with Lana which consisted of finding out two facts. One; she bought herself a car after putting money together with my dad. Two; her and Ace are not on speaking terms. I hadn’t noticed but she mentioned that they haven’t been speaking for quite sometime, it only occurred to her to tell me now.
Anyway, so that’s that. Today couldn’t have gone any worse. I would much rather relive yesterday over and over again. For multiple reasons and for one big reason altogether. Just because I was with Jason for majority of the day. What could be better than that? I hope he doesn’t think I’m clingy but I can’t help my want to be around him all the time. It’s not everyday you find someone you’re attracted to in all aspects.
I sighed and shut my book, giving up on taking notes and giving up on the class as well. Kira and I were, I’m assuming, officially done being friends. Yet we remained cordial when the requirements were necessary. Liam is a different story, I haven’t seen him all day so I’m guessing he either skipped or just stayed home. Not that I care but just simply an observation I made.
The only important thing about today, is the fact that I have decided to pack my things and move back into my own home. It’ll be great to eat my mother’s food again and have my own bed and I know Jasper misses the backyard. And of course, Lana misses her space.
Other than that, nothing else mattered.
Oh! Seeing Jason after school is also the most important part about today. Just thinking about him made the day better. I checked the clock by the exit and took in the fact that class would be over in about two minutes. At this point the teacher was going over the homework that would be due the following day. Everyone was in the midst of packing their things and stuffing their book bags with papers, pencils and notebooks.
The bell rings and I’m one of the first to exit the classroom and roam the halls. It’s important, especially for me, to move quickly throughout the halls before they become crowded. If otherwise, I’d most likely take centuries to actually reach my locker and even worse I’d have people bumping into me the entire time. No one says “excuse me” nowadays so hoping for one will leave your faith in the gutter.
I nearly ran to my locker, rather than pacing, and spin the dial accordingly. I didn’t have much to take home and I didn’t have much to place into the locker so the process was quick and easy. The halls were filled within seconds and a clamor of neverending kids exiting the building made me wish I could have been a little faster with my movements. All the same, I knew I would have Jason waiting outside for me and I wouldn’t be walking in the blazing sun for a change. I shut my locker now and look to the left, down the hall. This was a tendency I had, an urge to look down the hallways and just stare at anything my eyes would fall upon.
At this moment, they fall upon Sandrine who just so happened to be walking in my direction. Her eyes were all over the place, staring around like a queen who gazed upon her palace. Her hair bounced just like the steps she took against the floor, she walked like a Victoria’s Secret model except the only thing different between her and them was that they didn’t try to look good while walking. I rolled my eyes, disgusted with the sight of her and stormed off towards the front double-doors. I fix my bag over my shoulder and squint my eyes, skimming the lot for Jason. Many people were standing around and some were heading off towards the bus stops which were either down the street or directly across the street.
Finally, I spot Jason standing against a tree with his car parked directly on the other side of it. His eyes were fixed to the ground and his hands were glued to his pockets. I could only see his profile from where I stood and I was completely in awe with just that. Over the course of time, I blinked back to reality and began to descend the staircase.
“Lea!” I would have preferred that voice to have come from Jason but the tone of the voice was much too high pitched to match his.
Stopping in my tracks, I turn around and spot Sandrine standing just two stairs away from me. My heart sank; not in the act of fear but in the act of being completely annoyed with just the sight of her. I rolled my eyes and twisted myself around to keep walking until I was on flat pavement and could see myself standing beside Jason within seconds.
“Don’t just walk away from me.” She laughs and jogs ahead of me, blocking my path.
I stare up at her, adjusting my bag on my shoulder to make myself seem casual. She eyes me, of course not liking what she was staring down at but still forcing herself to make pure eye contact with me.
“Are you going to say what you have to say or not?” I urged, tilting my head.
“What’s the hurry?” She cocks her head the same way I did and crossed her arms over her chest. “No one’s waiting for you.”
“Actually someone is.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes distastefully.
“Who?” She questions.
“Jason.”
“Oh really?” Her eyes widened with sudden interest, “Where is he?”
“Don’t worry about it.” I took a step to the side but she hopped directly in front of me, standing her ground. Each move I made, she followed and succeeded in taking the role of my shadow.
“Are you scared that I’ll suck his dick just like I did with Ace?” She places a hand to her mouth, as if she spilled something she didn’t mean to let slip. The gesture wasn’t of genuine fright or surprise, she smiled afterwards and shrugged her shoulders.
“What?” I spoke in disbelief although I knew exactly what she said.
“You know, you should really tell Lana to work on keeping her man in check. I didn’t even have to try.” She laughs, waving her hand around without a care in the world. “She must be a dumb bitch to let her man have it that easy.”
“The only dumb bitch is you Sandrine.” I spoke right after she finished her sentence and kept my facial expression as stern as possible. People were circling around us the minute I took a step closer to her. “I don’t know who you think you are but I’m not scared of you.”
“You’re a little too close, don’t you think? What? Are you going to try and make out with me again?” She shoves me back roughly enough to knock my book bag off of my shoulder.
I catch myself and straighten up, ignoring the murmurs that were being passed around. The only thing I felt was a sudden anger rising up inside of me that I’ve never felt towards anyone before. Not even my parents. My hands were shaking and I held no control over the next move I decided to make.
She opens her mouth to speak but I don’t give her a chance. My hand felt as if it had been wind up like a toy and suddenly let go on full force. The palm of my hand meets her cheek and nothing could have been louder than the sound of me smacking her. Everyone gasped and I felt the urge to smack her again but I refrained from doing so. Within seconds her cheek was as red as cherry and her jaw dropped in utter shock. She placed her own hand over her cheek and the rage took over her ever so quickly.
As fast as she brings her hand back to strike me is equivalent to how quickly Jason stood in between the both of us. I felt a wave of relief rush over me and knowing I was safe from harm, I bend over to grab my backpack and toss it over my shoulder. Sandrine didn’t speak, instead, she rushed off from the crowd and everyone had their eyes fixed on Jason. Stunned by not only his beauty but the dangerous vibe he gave off by simply breathing. Nonchalantly, I take his hand and intertwined our fingers together. I hadn’t noticed before but Jason had been laughing this entire time.
“Didn’t think you had it in you.” He squeezed my hand.
“Neither did I.” I laugh under my breath, meaning every single word.
A new found confidence was born inside of me. I don’t know how long it’s been hiding but it felt great to have this power. To have the idea of knowing that no one can stop you as long as you stomp on their faces. I wasn’t as much of a coward as I used to be and when I’m with Jason I feel nothing short of invincible.
Perhaps this is what Jason meant by freedom.
Maybe this is a good thing or maybe it’ll only lead me to my doom.
Either way, I couldn’t really give a fuck.