*Warning*
If you find drug abuse disturbing to read then please don't read the end portion of this chapter.
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Chapter track-
Only hope- Switchfoot
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Neil
They say you don't need a reason to fall in love, but Bianca gives me millions of them. Her innocence, her kindness, the care and most of all—when I hold her in my arms——she gives me warmth—that feels like home. I can't possibly figure out how this tiny little girl makes me feel so protected and so soon. Am I deluded or am I simply in love with her? It is a question yet to be answered because the future and its surprising revelations are yet to come.
Yeah, I wasn't an optimist. My inner self wasn't reliable enough to make me feel confident—to make me believe in happy endings.
"So you guy's are ready for today?" Sia asked excitedly, holding Bianca by her arms, who just nodded in response.
"Yup," I replied. We were waiting for the bus like every day and I secretly thanked God for the sunny weather that day.
September isn't exactly a rainy season, but the weather routine in the hills wasn't trustworthy and a ground filled with people and muddy puddles would be too gross to tolerate.
We reached the school and saw that the top-notch decoration was finally completed. There was a huge stage on the ground with all the sitting arrangements in front of it and the smell of freshly cut pine leaves and flowers lingered in the air.
Was it Christmas or a freaking environment day celebration——more like environmental molestation——I had no idea? Overall, it was way too extravagant, though I admit——it did look nice.
"This place looks so...beautiful," Bianca spoke quietly, glints of fascination clear in her eyes.
"I know, right?" Sia said with a wide grin.
"Okay then, see you guys later," Keith said, who had started to join us to bus lately, with his girlfriend ofcourse. "We are needed to help." He smirked while finger quoting the word 'help'.
Sia and Keith didn't take part in any activities so they were told to volunteer as helpers for managing the event.
"Yeah." His sister added and we parted our ways.
***
"You know, my mom and dad met here, in this school," Bianca said as we walked by the road leading to the auditorium. There weren't any teachers around, so it gave me the advantage to hold her hands without causing a scene.
"And you're here now, with me. What were the odds?" I said and she smiled.
"Lucky, don't you think?" She added. "How well everything worked for them?"
"Yeah, " I said. "I hope we can be as lucky as them."
She bit her lips while smiling shyly as she lowered her head.
"You're beautiful," I told but she rolled her eyes and shook her head dismissively. "I'm not lying."
"Well, that's your duty to say something like that as a good boyfriend. "
"I think I'd still say that even if you weren't my girlfriend. "
She looked at me with a raised brow. "Really?"
"I.. uh..." I hesitated while her eyes crinkled. "Actually, I'd be too scared to say it out loud." Then she burst out laughing and I joined in, because I could no longer hold back the gladness I felt when I saw her like that– so happy, so pure.
I cleared my throat and scratched the back of my neck. "I know it sounds cheesy, but whenever I sing that fairytale song. I feel like we're singing the theme song of our own story." I gave a nervous sideways glance to look at her reaction. Her giggles slowly turned into a sheepish grin when she tucked the loose strands of her long hair behind her ear with her free hand.
"My beauty." I kissed the back of her hand which was held against mine.
"But you're not a beast." Her voice barely above the whisper. "You just need to make few changes."
"I know," I replied. "I'll try."
***
The program was to start in the afternoon and I had no idea why they wanted us so early. As if the rehearsals over more than a month wasn't enough, not that anyone was practising anyway.
The auditorium was filled with students just hanging around like they were enjoying a free period. Although many people were singing and dancing, I was sure that they were just doing that out of fun and it had nothing to do with the main performance.
"You know, there's nothing going on between me and her," I said to Bianca who was sitting beside me but her eyes and probably her mind was on stage, focused on Aahana.
"Huh? Oh.. umm. " She hesitated. "I trust you, but... why would her friends say something like that? They distinctly mentioned your names together and I'm sure I understood what they meant with all the words they said."
"And I'm sure Aahana didn't feed them with any false news," I told, but she lowered down her head and her expression was subtle. "Look, I don't think her friends are very nice people. Haven't you noticed? They're bullies. They enjoy hurting people."
They were bullies for sure. I'd seen them domineering other students using their unnaturally sweet voice which made them sound eviler.
"Aahana is one of them, isn't she?" She asked, giving me a challenging look.
"Yeah, but.." I didn't have an answer. "If you want, I can talk to her and make all of this end for good."
"Nevermind," She said giving a reassuring smile as her head moved closer to my shoulder. "As long as we can trust each other, there's nothing hampering our relationship."
"I know." I held her hand that was clutched against my arm and our foreheads touched.
"Get a room." The monotonous voice of Rohan made both of us flinch and look in his direction.
"Oh, please. " Bianca said and she started to blush.
"I can't wait for this day to be over." He added. "This stupid crowd and noise. I just can't it."
"Well, that makes the two of us." She said with a lopsided smile. "This is in fact very overwhelming."
"Count me in too," I said.
"How would you know?" Bianca folded her arms across her chest. "You don't exactly come in the category of an introvert. "
"It's not that I like this lot of company." I shrugged and she rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I need to go to the washroom. Will return in a minute"
"Oh, okay." She replied and stayed back with Rohan.
The truth was——I was in a hurry to fill my lungs with the satisfying feeling of smoke, but I couldn't be too obvious about it near Bianca. She knew about my habits but it doesn't mean I was gonna be arrogant about it. So, I slowly walked through the hall to find the exit but I was stopped midway by Vishal, one of the dopeheads senior in school.
"I have some good stuff if you have good cash." He said in a hoarse voice which was an obvious side effect of constant usage of cough syrups. His eyes were half-lidded and I wondered how did he even recognize me.
"No, I'm good," I replied.
"If you need, you know where to find me. I have things that give instant effects. If you know what I mean."
Drug addiction not only gave you poor health but it also had its ways of making you literally poor. No matter how much you have, it'll never be enough and they don't come very cheap, it'll make you a beggar in no time. I'd been through that stage when you're in shortage, you sell it at a higher cost and manage to buy more with the profit.
Vishal was the son of one of the trustees from the school, so he had the green ticket to stay however he wanted. That being said, the school cared more about the money rather than the student's health.
Who was I to care? Whatever was happening was non of my concern.
I shortly returned to the hall, had our packed lunch and just hung around with Bianca and Rohan until we were called towards the main building as the program had started already.
***
"Have I done this before?" I said as soon as I saw the audience from backstage. "Talk about déjà-vu."
There was just too many of them.
"Are you alright?" Aahana asked who must've figured out the anxiety I was trying to hide. "Don't tell me that the rockstar is having cold feet."
"Not every stage memories are good," I said with a tight smile.
She furrowed her brows and stared at me. "Are you trying to make me nervous?"
"No," I chuckled. "Not that I'd succeed even if I try."
"You wish."
My mind was running frenzy with all the ovation the onlookers provided and all the glimpses of that night returned. The only difference was that little children were dancing to our song and there was broad daylight.
My first performance was over but only I knew how difficult it was to go through it, without having a nervous breakdown.
I still had a couple of hours before my solo performance, yet it wasn't enough for me to calm down. I was going through mental agony and every noises and shout felt like a hammer in my head. Dupden, my dad, mum, the cops‐-all the haunting memories of my past came back rushing through my mind. I had to get rid of it, I needed numbness. I had to find Vishal.
I went down the road towards the basketball court, where he usually used to be. He was no player, but there was a small dark space behind the square that he used to get high with his other mates. And as I expected, he was there.
"I have some cash," I said and he smirked as he sat there on the ground in a drowsy state.
The needle, syringe and the mud colour liquid-- I hadn't used them in a long while and that instant numbness indeed made me understand how my body craved for that feeling——like I was in another world.
***
"Neil...Neil.. please wake up..." Someone was shaking me by the collar and I was also being slapped. Someone was trying to wake me up.
I cleared my throat and slowly opened my eyes to see Bianca. She looked frightened and her eyes were roaming my face, filled with tears.
"Why are you here? Are you alright? Can you-" She bit her trembling lip but she couldn't stop the sobs.
Shit.
I suddenly felt embarrassed and I placed my hand over my eyes in distress. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Do you want to go home? " I recognized the concerned voice of Rohan.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"Five thirty." He replied.
"I have to perform. "
"Can you.." Bianca couldn't finish her sentence.
"I can."
"Do you need any help?" Rohan asked as I tried to get up from the ground where I laid with my back rested against the building.
I was still feeling drowsy but because I was passed out for more than two hours, I was able to handle myself enough to do what I intend.
I didn't have any trouble performing the solo but seeing Bianca like that, I felt like my heart was ripped into pieces and I was yet to gain back full consciousness.
How am I supposed to face her tomorrow?
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So, what do you think?
You might be wondering—what can a teacher possibly do if they see their students walking hand in hand. But you have no idea, how much trouble it can be. Because being in a romantic relationship before marriage is "almost" a taboo in India. I'm not saying that's the case with everyone but that mentality is still very popular in this area. Everyone knows that those things are bound to happen but they still prefer to close their eyes. I know what you're thinking. Sad but it's true.
Neil is in such a state, many of you might be hating him. Such a broken ass teenager. I won't defend him but I won't blame him either.
What about you? What do you think? How should Bianca respond?
Do comment and don't forget to vote ☆.
Happy reading.
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