After we finished eating, Audelia quickly pulled me into a room. I was confused as to why she was rushing so much but she looked extremely uncomfortable and agitated.
"You know I will never let him touch you right?", I asked, rubbing her shoulders gently. She nodded but I could see she was fighting tears and wanted to tell me something but she was holding back.
"What's wrong?", I asked softly. I had never seen her this scared before.
"I have something to tell you", she whispered, refusing to meet my eye. I furrowed my eyebrows and took her face gently into my hands. The bruises and cuts were beginning to heal but I felt guilt rising in me. It was my fault she had gotten hurt. If I had just not allowed her to go to Robb, she would've been fine. But then again if she joined me to King's Landing, she would be dead.
"What is it, Lilibet?", I asked, using the nickname I had given her.
"I am so sorry", she whispered and I felt my heart fall. Did she not love me? Did she lie? What was happening?
"What for?", I asked.
"I'm pregnant", she finally said.
My hands fell from her shoulders. And I just stared at her in shock.
She was what?
"What?", I repeated.
"I'm pregnant", she replied again.
My mouth was open, and I could barely think.
She was pregnant.
With Ramsay's child, no doubt.
"I'm sorry", she whispered and I was about to tell her that she had nothing to be sorry for, that it wasn't her fault but she left quickly before I got the chance to say anything.
I stared at the open door in shock as I saw retreating form, shaking from a sob she was trying to stifle.
I wanted to yell after her. Tell her that I didn't care, that I would support her no matter what.
But I didn't.
"Why'd you look like you've seen a ghost?", Asked Bronn as he turned the corner and saw me. I turned to him, my mouth still open in shock.
"Oh she told you, didn't she?", He asked and my eyes widened even more.
"You knew?! She told you first?!", I asked, raising my voice and he held his hands up in his defence. How could Audelia tell Bronn, a sellsword, out of all people first?!
"If it makes you feel better her siblings don't know either", he replied and I just groaned loudly.
"What am I supposed to do here?", I asked as I sat down on my bed, head on my hand.
"You rode North for her, you left your family for her. Is a babe really gonna change your feelings? Besides you told me how much you wanted to be a father", he said as he joined me on my bed.
I looked at him unsurely, and sighed deeply.
"I do love her. I really love her. But a babe? It isn't even mine my blood. What if turns out just as crazy as it's father? What if Audelia dies during childbirth? What if it hates me? What if I ruin it? What if I put it in more danger by being close to it? I'm already putting Audelia in danger, Cercei knows where I went no doubt", I said quickly and then Bronn hit me on the back of my head.
"What was that for?!", I asked as I rubbed the spot he hit.
"Shut up", he said.
"Don't ye think Audelia is also thinking about that? She was scared that she would lose this war, and Ramsay would get his hands on the babe. She is also probably thinking that she would make a terrible mother, or that she will ruin it.", He began.
"She would never ruin it. And she would make an amazing mother. She has role models, unlike me", I mumbled.
"Oh can you stop drowning in self-pity for ONE damned minute? All you ever talk about is how horrible you or your family is. I agree with it, but just grow a pair and get over it! You are not in the South anymore. You are in the North. Everybody hates you here. They see weakness, they will attack", he yelled. "Your father showed his enemies not to mess with him, that's why you had such a glorious childhood with no danger. Do the same for that babe".
"I am not going to be my father!", I yelled back.
"I'm not telling you that you should be, I'm telling you that you should show your enemies not to mess with ye or your family. Seven Hells, I preferred working with your brother, he at least had some common sense", yelled back Bronn, shaking his head.
I stared in front of me. Still unsure about what I should do.
"It's yer choice", said Bronn and I nodded.
"C'mon, you fucker. Let's get you drunk. Maybe then you will be able to think more clearly".
He pulled me up to my feet, and I didn't protest drinking. I should stay clear of the alcohol but I didn't care right now. I needed whatever that could take the stress off me for at least a little while.
We found the ale. A lot of it. It did not compare to the brothels in Kings Landing. In the slightest but it helped.
Cup after cup after cup, we drank. It didn't take long for both of us to be so drunk, we couldn't walk in a straight line.
"Ye know, for what's it worth, I think ye should stay with the Beauty. Not many find the Kingslayer, and sister lover attractive.", slurred Bronn as he took another swing from his cup.
"You think so?", I asked, barely keeping myself awake.
"I think so", replied Bronn.
"Then I'm going to talk with her", I declared, trying to stand up but falling back down into the bench.
"Oi you fucker. Can't even stand straight. Southerners are weak", mumbled Bronn, standing up, swaying a little but helping me to my feet.
I was a little surprised nobody has seen us both yet, or stopped us. But everybody was busy doing something, I guessed. Although we should leave before they all come in for dinner and we us drunk. I didn't want another reason for them to hate me.
"C'mon", urged Bronn, dragging me down the hall.
We passed a Nights Watcher in the hall that looked us up and down but we just shook our heads.
Gods this was embarrassing.
Finally we got to the room, in which my beloved was hopefully inside.
"Don't fuck this shit up, I didn't ride all this way, risking my bloody neck and penis in the cold just for you to say we have to go back through all that mess outside", threatened Bronn, pushing me to the door, and I practically fell against it, making a loud thinking sound.
I turned to Bronn, putting my finger to my lips and shushing him loudly, he just rolled his eyes and walked away, holding on to the wall from time to time.
A second later, I heard a lock unlocking on the other side of the door and the door moved. I practically fell down into the room in front of me but Audelia steadied me just in time.
"Jaime, what are you-?", She began asking but I out a finger to her lips, shushing her.
"Shhhhh!", I shushed really loudly and she looked me up and down.
"Are you drunk?", She asked concerned.
"No, what would give you that idea?", I asked and she looked behind me, looking if anybody was watching. Then she pulled me into her room, closing the door behind her.
I almost fell onto the floor but I caught myself and turned around to face her.
"You know, you were really mean to me", I began and she raised on eyebrow.
"What?", she asked confused, crossing her hands across her chest.
She was wearing a night dress, so I guessed she was sleeping or was about to. Although it was the middle of the day but I remembered how tired Cercei would get during her pregnancies. Her body has yet to start changing, she was too thin. She was so small, and fragile. I just want to take her into my arms and never let go.
"You assumed right away that I would not want anything to do with you, since you were pregnant. Is that really how low you see me?", I asked, pointing my finger at her, and swaying a little on my feet.
"Jaime-", she started but I interrupted her.
"I bloody love you Audelia. I left my family for you. My sister and son are in King's Landing, alone. My daughter died in my arms, but yet here I am. I just wanna be with you. But every single time, something new jumps in between us.", I continue and she listened carefully.
"I didn't know about Myrcella...-", she started but I interrupted her once again.
"I don't care that you are pregnant. I'll love it anyway. Because it is a part of you, and I love you. But I hate how you just assumed that I would leave you, as soon as I found out. I am not that person, so stop making me out to be that person", I declare and sit down on my bed.
Neither of us say anything for a moment or two. Until I find the courage to look up at her and I saw tears in her big, perfect blue Tully eyes.
"Oh no, now I made you cry", I whispered. "Gods Jaime, why are you so stupid?". I hit my head against my palm.
I felt an arm on my shoulder and saw that Audelia had sat down next to me.
"I'm sorry", she whispered.
"I just didn't want to force you to do something you didn't want to. You have been told what to do, not given a choice your whole life. By Cercei, your father.... I just wanted to give you a choice", she whispered and I could see her shaking.
I pulled her onto my lap, hugging her tightly and resting my chin on the top of her head.
"Well I made my choice", I mumbled stubbornly. "I'm staying with you, and this little baby".
"You are drunk Jaime, you might change your mind when you are sober", she argued, trying to get off my lap but I held her.
"I won't.", I argued back.
"I won't lose you again. You are everything to me. The last thing left. And I will not make the same mistake as before by letting you go. I want you to be mine, and I will be yours. If you'll have me, my lady", I said in a somewhat flirtatious way.
"I am already yours, Ser", she replied.
And we kissed.