hey everyone!! i hope you all enjoy this update!💜
luke is wonderful.
he's warm and gentle and holds so much kindness inside his heart that it baffles you. with those soft eyes and snuggly, welcoming arms, he's basically just a giant walking teddy bear. his lips drop sweet promises of love and protection over your forehead every time he greets you, and not a day goes by that you don't thank your lucky stars for bringing him into your life.
yet, luke might be warm and gentle, but that doesn't mean life has been as kind to you. you don't live a carefree life bouncing from project to project, your arms aren't full of love and protection, and you aren't as willing to give all of yourself to another person. you had, once, a very long time ago, but past lovers have taught you to be less giving with your heart.
you just really don't want to get hurt. and it was fine to be guarded when you were in those initial stages of a relationship with luke, but now you've been dating for five months and your inability to give yourself over to him completely has begun to infuriate you.
take now, for instance. it's a quiet, cosy thursday evening, and you're sitting up against luke's headboard, flicking through your phone. the sun's long gone, and as you glance up at the time, you realise it's nearing eleven. with a tired sigh, you begrudgingly begin to clamber out of bed, only to feel luke's hand fall down softly onto your shoulder, his eyes wide and confused.
"where are you going?" he mumbles, sleepily looking up at you. his fingers go to hold his chin as you crack a smile.
"it;s getting late," you explain, yawning widely.
"i should go home." his lower lip rolls into a pout.
"you can stay, love," he says.
"please, stay. it's late and chilly and dangerous out there. plus..." his lips quirk into a wide grin.
"i would love some company tonight."
you laugh quietly as you continue to climb out of bed.
"nah, it's okay, i don't... i'll just go home." you can't risk staying over. you might love luke, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea for you to let yourself fall completely into him. while he has lovely, sweet intentions now, you know how quickly that can change.
"thanks for having me over, and cooking me dinner, and watching films, and everything."
luke sits up, drawing his knees to his chin as he stares at you.
"you never stay over," he mutters, speaking as if he's having a revelation.
"you've... you've never actually stayed over, have you?" his voice is quiet and thoughtful, and you find your face warming as you shake your head.
"why not?" you pause, knowing this is the start of a conversation you should've had months ago.
"listen, luke, I really like you, but..." you fall down to sit on the edge of the bed and wait until he's shifted to sit beside you to continue. his slender digits wrap around your hands and he squeezes you softly, his eyes round with concern.
"i've been hurt in the past, i guess. and i know you're great and lovely, and a good guy, just..." you pause and he squeezes your fingers.
"part of me wonders that you're gonna wake up, see me there, and decide you don't want this anymore. don't...don't want me anymore." luke looks a little like he's been slapped in the face.
"how long have you felt like that?" he asks gently, drawing his thumbs over the back of your hands. you blink quickly as your teeth dig into your lower lip.
"i guess, uh, forever? but...but it's nothing you've done, this isn't a reflection on you, it's just me being me. and wondering why you'd ever waste your time on someone like me."
you feel like you're digging a hole as you watch luke's face slowly cave in on itself, utter disbelief shining in his eyes as he stares at you. with a watery smile, you pull one of your hands away from him and quickly rub at your tingling eyes, trying to push the tears back.
"y/n, i..." his voice breaks suddenly, and it causes a knife to stab into your heart.
"c'mon, lay with me. stay a little longer." rather reluctantly, you follow tom up the bed and clamber beneath his ridiculously comfortable covers, facing him directly. he gives you a reassuring smile as he brings a hand up to your face and drags a few fingers over your cheek as if trying to compute the texture of your skin to memory.
"i love you," he promises, voice smooth.
"i love you like i've never loved anyone, and it's because you're nice, and funny, and so, so kind. you have the largest heart i've ever known." his soft thumb brushes under your eye.
"you've always felt like home to me," he continues, thin lips drawn into a gentle smile.
"you are just so wonderful, sweetheart. i don't regret any of the time i've spent getting to know you, and i never will, because you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." he brings one of your hands to his mouth and gently kisses the back of your palm.
"please, stay over tonight." he watches you, and you look back, your eyes swimming in tears. he has an expression of wistful desperation laced across his face, and as he leaves a final kiss to the back of your hand, you realise he's nothing like your exes. nothing at all.
"i'll stay," you mumble. you let him wrap his arms around you.
"i love you too."
wc: 965
have a great day/night!!💜💜