Oh god how thankful I was for Zayn. He is my savior. He had listened to me and gave me a place to say when I was scared. The most important part was he was there for me when all else failed. I love him. Not in the way most people think though. Perrie had his heart and I respected that. I loved him how you love a best friend or a family member. My face hurts so bad. Laying here being still is killer. His mum gave me some of his eldest sisters night wear to sleep in. I put it on, and it was still very ill fitting, but I can’t complain too much. There are other people who have it way worse than me. Every time I want to cry, I feel ridiculous for crying over something so stupid. I hate myself for crying to Zayn yesterday. I hadn’t slept a wink all night. On top of that, Niall texted me about coffee and I said I’d meet him at a coffee shop near his flat today. The sun is just starting to rise, its peeking through the curtains. Oh god. What was I going to tell him? How could I break this down for him to understand without being furious? I couldn’t. The entire thing with Lucas would make him…. Livid. He was going to be pissed. Just that entire conversation would be filled with tension and anger and tears. Just the thought of Niall shaking with anger scared me so bad, I didn’t know if I should tell Niall about my feelings for him, it could help the anger, but it would all be so confusing for the both of us. I love Niall. I really do… But everything with Lucas has made it so hard for me to love anybody right now. Zayn’s mother was awake, shuffling around in the kitchen making breakfast I assume. God I was tired. I check the time on my phone and it says it is about 7.. As I get up in search of the bathroom, Zayn’s mum asks me how I slept.
“I slept really well. It’s a very comfortable sofa.” I lie. It hurts talking. My lips are way swollen and I just want an ice pack to put on my lip.
“That’s good. I’m glad you and Zayn stayed here. Are you hungry? I’m making French toast. Its Zayn’s favorite.” She says. I really need to pee..
“Oh yeah. French toast sounds wonderful. May I use your restroom?”
“Of course its down the hall, right across from Zayn’s room. I washed you clothes and they are sitting on the sink counter. I don’t mind if you clean up a bit.” She tells me.
“Thank you.” I tiptoe down the hallway so I don’t wake up the rest of Zayn’s family. I see Zayn sprawled out on his bed. He looks just like a teenager, exhausted. I turn quickly into the washroom so I don’t seem as if I’m spying on him. The room is a light blue with ocean related things. It smells faintly of the ocean and laundry detergent. I like it. I look in the mirror first thing. Oh my god! I look horrible! There is NO way make-up can cover this hideousness up. My face is all purple and bluish. Oh god I’m hideous. I get into the shower and turn on the hot water. Hot water feels nice against my skin.. I stay cautious of all my bruises and cuts. My entire body hurts and its sore. When I get out of the shower I see that I have 5 missed calls,3 voice mails, and 7 texts. Somebody is blowing up my phone. I go through the calls first, all from my mom. Then I read the texts. I’m starting to get really worried because the last text says ‘Call me back ASAP. Its an emergency.’ It was from my mum. I listen to the voice mails and grow really worried because she keeps saying its an emergency. I call her back.
“Mom, what’s happening??” I ask. My voice is clearly worried.
“Its your father. Honey, he is in the hospital. He had a heart attack.. I really need you to come to the hospital.” Her voice. Oh my gosh!! A heart attack?!?! He had one 3 months ago! He can’t take this any longer…
“I’ll be there soon. I’m in Bradford with Zayn. I’ll be there. I’ll be there.” I kept on tell her I’d be there. I put my clothes on and went out. I needed Zayn to wake up. I needed him to wake up. My father was in the hospital. I went into the dinning room and found Zayn. Thank the Lord.
“Zayn I need to go. Like right now. My father had a heart attack. He is in the hospital. I need to go. I’m sorry. Sorry.” I ambush him with all my life, all the time.
“Oh my gosh. Alright.” He tells me as he rises. You can hear the sleep in his voice. The sleep is still in his eyes.
“Mom, I need to go its an emergency. I love you. I’ll call you later! Sorry!” Zayn calls to his mom as he and I rush out of the house. “I’ll drive.” I tell him as we race to the car. He throws me the keys and gets in the passenger seat.
“Head left once you get off of my street. Stay on that road then once you go past Kennington, take a right at the next intersection. Then you should know where to go.” I do just as he says, and I know exactly where I’m going. By speeding about 10 kilometers faster than the speed limit. We get there in about 45 minutes.
“Do you mind coming in with me?”
“Wow, umm, not at all.” He says. I think he is afraid to drive with me now. Oh well… We run through the hospital into the Intensive Care Unit. I go up to the front desk woman and say,
“I’m looking for Bret Hopper. He was brought this morning.”
“Oh yes, may I ask who you are? Only family and close friends may go in.”
“I am his daughter and this is my…… erhm…. Boyfriend.” I can’t believe I just told the woman Zayn was my boyfriend.
“Alright. Once you go through the doors, turn left. His room is 239F.” She says dismissively with a smile. We go to the room.
“Mom!! Oh my god! How is he???” I ask as I leave Zayn’s side.
“Not good,” she says with a frown. “He slipped into a coma.” Tears are now streaming down mine and her faces.
“Will he be alright? Oh my god mum.” She doesn’t answer me. Things are bad. I walk over to his bed slowly and see his face, its not happy looking but its somewhat peaceful. I kiss his cheek and let a single tear fall on his face. I look at the time and see it is almost 13. She doesn’t even say anything about my face… maybe she hasn’t noticed.
“Mum, I have to go meet Niall for coffee at 13. I’ll be back later today.” I tell her so she doesn’t worry. Zayn is still near the door. I turn towards him and walk out of the room with tears in my eyes and Zayn’s arm around my shoulder.
“Will you and your boyfriend be returning?” The same front desk woman asks you.
“Erhm, I will. Not him though.” I tell her sadly..
“Alright, take this band so you can go straight through next time.” She says as she places a hospital band on my wrist.
“Thanks.” I mumble to her as we walk out of the doors.
“Sorry about that.” I tell Zayn once we are out of earshot.
“What?”
“Calling you my boyfriend. I couldn’t think of anything else to tell the woman.” I explain to him.
“Oh, that’s quite alright. I’m sorry for you. I know its hard to…. Deal with something like that.” He says to me kindly. He drops me off at my flat and I sneak in so I don’t find Lucas. He isn’t even here. I change clothes and try to apply minimum amount of foundation to cover up my purplish face. I get in my car and drive to the coffee shop to meet Niall. Niall, how healthy he looked. Compared to my ill appearance. Just seeing his face I felt better, not much, but better.
“Oh my god! Lily!! What happened??” Those were the first words Niall said to me. Not a hello, you look lovely. Here we go.
“Lots of stuff has happened Nialler. So much stuff. We should sit down and get coffee or whatever before I start. Its so much.” I really don’t wanna tell him. Really really don’t wanna. We sit down and get coffee. Well I get coffee and he gets tea.. Oh god.
“Alright please let me say everything then you can comment and be mad or whatever else. Sound good??” I ask. I need to make this as easy as possible.
“Yeah.” All I get. I am about to pour my heart to this man and all I get is a ‘yeah’. Course what do I expect?? Oh god. I inhale before I begin.
“Alright, so after I left your house, I went to my flat. Lucas was there. I was in the shower and he was drunk, of course, and he started screaming at me and telling me he was going to kill me if he ever found out I was cheating on him with you. Then he asked me if I was and I didn’t say anything back because I was scared and then he started to hit me. Then he pulled me out of the shower to hit me. Then he left somewhere and I called Zayn. Zayn took me to Bradford so I could tell him everything. Then we went to eat because I was starving. It was about 10:30 when I had finished so we went to his mum’s house. Then you texted me. In the morning my mum called me and told me my dad was in the hospital because he had a heart attack. So I rushed over to the hospital and found out that my dad is in a coma.” It feels like a weight has been lifted and put on my shoulders. Oh god. His eyes. The cool blue they usually hold is gone. I can’t read him very well. He looks like he is pissed, sad, hurt, and shaken. He doesn’t say anything for a very long time. Its awkward. You can feel it in the air. Should I tell him my feelings for him? What if I do? What if I don’t? Oh my. Anxiety is slowing creeping on me, I can feel the hysteria bubbling inside of my stomach. Oh goodness.
“Niall, there’s more.” I whisper quietly.
“Go ahead.” He says calmly. He looks upset. Like he might cry.
“I am in love with you Niall. I love everything about you and everything that you do. I was afraid to tell you at first because you might not feel the same. Every time I was with Lucas I was wishing it were you. I may be moody and want to be left alone, but I want to be with you.” I stare into his beautiful blue eyes and see that his is listening to every last word I say.