⚠️BIG TW: BLOOD, ABUSE⚠️(almost every Travis POV except the last one)
Travis POV:
I woke up to the sound of yelling. I yawned and got up. I sat still trying to make out the words.
"REALLY? _____ YOU ____ _________ THE SACRIFICES I MADE ___ THAT ___! I DID ______THING FOR THAT _____!! ___ AN UNGRATEFUL USELESS _____ JUST ____ YOU!"
I heard crashes. I could still hear the birds peaceful outside.
"NO DONT YOU ______! YOU ____ _____ ___ ____ SHIT! YOU RUINED ___ _____ STATE! THOSE _____ ARE BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU'RE HURTING __ ___!"
I heard a loud crash. Screaming. I quickly got up and locked my door. I stayed quiet. I heard crying and yelling.
"you should've shut up you bitch!!" I heard that one nice and clear..father must've hurt her again. I couldn't do anything. I sat in fear. My hands started to tremble. I rocked back and forth trying to think of what I should do. Should I go down there? Should I stay up here? What if she's bleeding? What if he hurts her more?
"Don't touch me you mother fucker!" I heard my mom yell. She's never talked back to him before. She only sits and whimpers. I knew it was bad. She's never gotten this upset. I heard my dad cry in pain. She did something. More shoving. More crying. More yelling. More slams and crashes. I slowly opened my door when it stopped. My father paid no attention to me as I made my way to go check the kitchen. He didn't hear me.
I walked in the kitchen facing my fathers back as he stood over her with a large kitchen knife. My eyes widened as I noticed the smeared blood on the kitchen island. Some on the counter. I could see he hadn't hurt her with the knife yet but the blood was dripping from his head. Small drips still fell onto the floor. I panicked. This had never happened before.."you're going to regret ever doing that you fucking PIECE OF SH-" he fell to the floor. My hands were shaking. I'd hit him right were the wound was with a pan.
I looked down at him passed out on the floor. Blood rushed out of his head. My mother looked up at me from on the ground. I dropped the pan and stared into my hands. "Travis..." my mother spoke looking at my father. "Holy shit." I said shaking. "language!" My mom said staring at me. She had bruises covering her arms and face. Blood smeared from her nose.
Tears formed in my eyes. "What have I done.." I said. Warm tears flowed down my face. My mother pulled me into a hug. "Travis..you saved me. You did what you had to."
[...]
⚠️CW: DRUGS, SMOKING⚠️
Sal POV:
I took another puff of my cig. The whole room smelled like pot and smoke. Larry was fucking stoned. I wasn't but the cigs were starting to get to me. "saaaaaaaally" Larry said. I took another puff. "Yea Larry face?" I said looking over at him. "You feeling any better?" Larry said. Last night was all great, but of course it didn't stay that way. Once I got home..
~𝙁𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠~
⚠️CW: ALCOHOL, EMOTIONAL ABUSE⚠️
"𝐻𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑑 𝐼𝑚 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒!- 𝑑𝑎𝑑?" ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑏𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔. "𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑒?𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒??" 𝑚𝑜𝑚?.."𝑑𝑎𝑑 𝑖𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡-" ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑. "𝑜ℎℎℎ 𝑠𝑎𝑎𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦. 𝑆𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝐼 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡. 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒...𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝑎𝑟𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑." 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠. 𝐼 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡. 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒. 𝐻𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑎𝑙𝑐𝑜ℎ𝑜𝑙. "𝑦𝑜𝑢..𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡." 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑚𝑦 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠.
"𝑌𝑒𝑠 𝐼 𝑑𝑜!" 𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛. "𝑁𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡! 𝐼- 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛𝑡 𝑑𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔! 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑛𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑢𝑙𝑡!" 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑. 𝑇𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒. 𝐻𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑑. 𝐻𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑣. "𝑑𝑎𝑑?.." ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑑. 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑣. 𝐼 𝑟𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚. 𝐼 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑏𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑘𝑠. 𝑀𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡.
𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑎 𝑓𝑒𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑏𝑎𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚. 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑑. "𝐼𝑚 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑦𝑠." 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑. 𝐻𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑜 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡. 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑦𝑠.
~𝙁𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧~
CW END *alcohol*
"I guess. I could always be better." I said taking my last puff before finishing the cigarette and putting it down on Larry's old ash tray. Larry didn't respond. He just took puffs of his blunt. I knew it was stupid to get mad at my dad for alcoholism..then go smoke, but it calmed me down. I never pushed myself to get high. I stopped when I needed to. Larry pulled his hair back and put it into a sloppy bun. Only strings of hairs were left in his face. "Jeez lar what are you doing now?" I said looking over at him.
CW END *smoking, weed*
He giggled and sat up. "Relax I was just gonna paint, for now" he said smiling. His smile always made mine show. I know that was cheesy but he's my best friend. I'd do- mostly- anything for that man. He grabbed all his art stuff and started painting on a small plain canvas. I turned to watch him paint. Watching him paint usually calmed me down. "Is it cool if I watch?" I said. I didn't like making him uncomfortable. "Of course man" he said focusing on his painting.
Travis POV:
I was cleaning the blood off the counters with hydrogen peroxide and a cloth. I watched the red stains turn back into white marble..as if nothing ever happened. Nothing happened. My mother came into the kitchen to check on me. "He's all bandaged up. He'll be alright there wasn't too much blood. How's the cleaning?" I felt disgusting. I was cleaning blood. Blood. Not to mention it was my fathers blood. Me and mother promised to keep this as 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁. "Its alright.." I said. My voice was cracked and full of fear. I felt like a murder. Even if he wasn't dead, it was terrifying. Mother had noticed the shaking and the looks I was giving.
"Look I know it's scary...and I'm sorry, but we did what we had to. He had a knife. Travis what you did was very smart and I'm very proud of you ok? But we can't tell anyone. Its 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁. You understand?" I had saved my mother's life but lived with the guilt of almost getting rid of my fathers. "Yes ma'am." I said. I'd gone into the same state I would with father. I'd obey anything with a simple 'yes sir'..'yes ma'am'. The consequences of otherwise scared me. I had many questions for her. None ever got answered.
Sal POV:
I laughed as Larry painted a small cat on face. "There! Looks just like gizmo" he said smiling. I smiled at myself as I looked into the mirror. He had finished his painting from earlier so moved onto my face when he realized one of my scars had two little triangle shapes, 'like cat ears!' He said. "Heh thanks lar" I said. "Yea no problem dude I'm an ~artist~" he said all fancy like. I laughed. "Heh yeah you are" I said still giggling a little.
I looked over to the shitty old mattress I slept on the night before. I stared at the cat plushie. I missed Travis but he was probably busy with his family. "Hey Larry," I said. Larry was cleaning up his paints when he turned to me. "Yea man?" He said as he finished putting them away. "Did you ever wonder where those bruises on Travis came from?" I said. His smile slowly went away. I had wondered for a while but at the time I was more worried if Travis was ok, and I didn't want to ruin the fun we were having at the amusement park or at prom.
"He already told you though? He got into a fight with a few assholes" Larry said. He leaned on his dresser and looked at me confused. "Really? You believe that? He has bruises every day. I never see anyone pick on him, ever. Everyone just stays away from him." I said crossing my arms. I knew I looked pissed. I tried to make in known I knew he was shoving the topic to the side. "I guess you're right but if he hasn't really told you there must be a reason why right?" He said. He looked at me strictly. I know he knew something I didn't. he was always into the 'yea we should find out ourselves!' sorta idea.
"Not gonna lie man it hurts knowing you're lying straight at my face." I said. I was hurt. I didn't like when Larry lied to me, we've always been super close and I hated him not trusting me with something. He sighed and looked down then looked back up. "Look man I know, I'm sorry but I promised Travis I wouldn't tell. Besides he isn't ready to tell you yet you have to give the guy time." I was upset but I understood where he was coming from.
"I..I guess, but why would he tell you first? You hated his guts more then I did." Larry's face turned a little red. It pissed me off. What the fuck? "Look man I'm not sure probably just the heat of the moment." He looked nervous. Stressed. Why wouldn't he talk to me?! We here best friends! What did he know?
⚠️CW: PANIC ATTACK,
MENTION OF SH AND SUICIDE⚠️
Travis POV:
I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling. God I'm awful. Not only did I hurt father physically..I kissed a boy behind his back. A boy. I kissed a boy and he doesn't know. I'm a sinner. I'm a disgusting sinner. Why? Why me? Why couldn't I just be the son he wanted? God please forgive me. Forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I felt tears roll down my face. My glossy eyes stared into the ceiling. I began to mumble to myself. I sat in a sitting position holding my knees close to my chest. Sobbing. "forgive me...forgive me.." over and over. Staring into my knees. My scraped up knees. I sat on my knees and held my hands together. I looked up into the ceiling, tears streaming down my face.
"Jesus, I believe you love me. Please forgive me for my sins. Help me to be a better person. Amen."
I choked on my sobs as I finished and dropped my hands to my knees. I looked down at my body. My legs and hands shaking slightly. The tears falling onto my legs. My old scars shown on my legs. The bruises on my arms. The redness on my knuckles and fingertips. I was rocking back and forth and didn't even realize at first. I held myself. None. None would care. Sally doesn't care. Father doesn't care. Mother doesn't care. Not Larry. Nobody. None. I'm an awful person. I shouldn't be here. Father was right. I am a disappointment to this family...I felt more tears pour out of me. I was choking on my spit. My breath was heavy. I was shaking in fear. I couldn't breathe. I fell over to my side shaking. I held on tight to my pillow and tried to soften my sobs to keep myself quiet.
CW END
Sal POV:
The thought of Travis from last night came through my head. His soft skin. His cute little smile. I missed him. I decided to try and call him but he didn't pick up. maybe he's just busy?..I got a little worried. Don't over think it sal he's probably fine. "Didn't pick up?" Larry asked me. "Yea, he's probably just working or something" I said. I was worried he was hurt. Or sick. What if those bruises came back?
Eventually the stress got to me and I went to call back but- he already did. I picked up the phone. "Travis! Hey!" I said. "Hey sally sorry I didn't pick up I went to go get some water and didn't realize you were calling me, what's up?" He said in a raspy voice. He had that voice whenever he'd just woken up. I felt bad waking him up but he sounded so cute sleepy. "Aww did I wake you up princess?" I said jokingly. "Heh..shushh" he said sipping something, I assumed it was the water.
"So why'd you call?" He said finishing sipping his drink. I looked over at Larry who had his headphones in and was just listening to music. "I was wondering if we could go to the lake, and talk about- ya know" I said. I looked over at Larry again. I mouthed 'is it ok if I see Travis?' He smiled and shook his head yes. "Oh sure let me just go ask my mom I'll text you if she says yes or not" he said. I said ok and we hung up.
Travis POV:
I had gotten up to get a glass of water to calm down after I finished crying and didn't realize until I came back that sal had called me. I had calmed down but my voice was still harsh. I decided to ignore what had happened, I didn't have time to deal with my stupid feelings. Sal came first. I went to get dressed and go ask my mother. "Sure love just make sure you stay safe." She said very monotone with a fake smile. Usually these things made her happy but she was still stressed about the father situation. I had gotten on my clothes. I wore a white button up with a black shirt over. I wore some black pants and put on my rosary. It was suppose to protect me, but it never did. I opened the front door and left for the lake.