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december 1996
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"𝚗𝚊𝚞𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚘𝚞𝚜"
𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚔; 𝚒𝚗 𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍
The urge to push Abraxas into a lit fireplace was great and strong, and the thought of it brought Violetta pleasure. Much needed pleasure since it seemed that her entire life was moving on while she was staying behind with her thoughts.
Abraxas was going on and on about Violetta's marriage which was set to happen in a month's time. He had explained to her that there won't be a big wedding ― destroying yet another dream of Narcissa's. The wedding will happen at the manor, surrounded by Violetta and Marcus' families and closest friends.
Violetta was standing in front of a wall-length mirror ― surrounded by her family members which included her grandfathers, grandmothers, mother and brothers.
Every now and then, Violetta woke from her daydreaming and realised her surroundings. She became aware of the people around her, of what they were talking about and in how deep into everything she was.
She was trying on her wedding dress ― one Walburga Black wore to her wedding decades ago. It wasn't Violetta's choice nor her mother's. Violetta didn't care ― she didn't care about the wedding at all ― and while her mother did care, she had no power over the matter.
It angered Violetta, to see her mother so powerless in her own house. It wasn't that Narcissa didn't try but it was the way their world worked. Men and the elder generation have more power.
"You can't make her wear that dress," argued Narcissa although she knew it was in vain.
"Nor make her marry..." muttered Regulus, earning a sharp glance from Abraxas.
"I must agree with Narcissa," said Priscilla, her hand gently on Violetta's shoulder ― not that the girl had noticed this act of warmth and care.
Violetta wasn't aware of what the people around her were saying, she was only staring at herself. She had Walburga's wedding dress on ― a long sleeved white dress with a long trail behind. Violetta's skin nearly matched the pale colour of the dress, she felt sick and disgusted. Betrayed and cheap.
While she should be worried of being forced into a marriage, Violetta couldn't even give it a thought while the revelations of Regulus Black's diary filled her head. The Dark Lord, the man who Violetta has believed all her life had done something to her when she was only an infant.
She had no idea what it was but she was determined to find out. She felt betrayed to say the least and although she perhaps shouldn't blame her grandfather for it ― there was no doubt Abraxas had his hands in this .
Abraxas has never even pretended to care about her.
And as for the Dark Lord, Violetta has never thought that the Dark Lord cares for her but she has thought that he held her in some value. She never really understood why but it seemed that she was getting closer to the answer. But it wasn't an answer she was looking for ― the Dark Lord didn't value her because she was a loyal Death Eater but because he had done something to her.
Many thoughts ― very unpleasant ones ― entered her brain every other second when thinking of it but she tried to keep them under control. Especially whenever her mother was around.
"Should we perhaps ask Violetta herself," Regulus scoffed at almost everyone in the room.
Violetta snapped out of her thoughts by the mention of her name.
"What?" She asked, her face unreadable.
"Mum doesn't think you should wear that dress," explained Regulus.
Violetta glanced at her mother who was standing beside her.
"It's a pretty dress," Violetta assured.
"It is a very beautiful dress but I thought maybe you would like to pick something yourself," said Narcissa with a soft yet worried smile.
The younger Malfoy woman snorted at her mother's words.
"Like I got to choose the man I marry?" She asked, her voice bitter and cold.
Narcissa swallowed as she tried to keep her smile on.
Violetta's changes of mood had become more and more visible and frequent. Not that anyone in their brightest mind could blame her ― with everything going on in her life.
For some reason, Violetta's eyes found Druella's from the reflection of the mirror. The grandmother ― who had never shown any interest in her granddaughter until a while ago ― looked positively sad.
"Getting married in my sister's dress would mean a lot to her," said Cygnus when he managed to remove his lips from his glass. "It is an honour."
"She's dead. She wouldn't know," shrugged Violetta and turned to Cygnus who merely arched his brow at her.
"But people don't need to know everything, right? I mean does daddy know that his only daughter is going to be dragged down an altar and to be married to an idiot," Violetta continued.
Violetta did regret her words but not the message behind them. But she could have been more careful since her mother looked like someone had slapped her across her face.
"I need to go," sighed Violetta and left the room.
Violetta ran to her room and locked the door behind her. Resting the back of her head against the door, she bit against her sobs. Her breathing was uneven but she forced herself to calm down. She couldn't afford a breakdown, no matter what.
She needed to be sharp and ready for anything.
She took off Walburga's wedding dress and threw it on the floor.
Violetta climbed on her bed and took out Regulus Black's diary from under her pillow. She opened the diary, a small smile creeping on her lips now that she can just open it without having a mental breakdown.
She kept rereading Regulus' letter. She didn't know what to think of it or what to do with the information. All she knew was that she's been betrayed and she wasn't too happy about that.
It made her angrier she's even been but that anger didn't make her do bad things or make her vengeful.
Just angry.
A clear pop startled her and made her hide the diary.
"Feeby..." groaned Violetta when she saw her house-elf at the foot of her bed.
"Mr A-Abraxas needs to s-see you," the elf said.
Violetta grimaced. "Didn't he see me storm out of there?"
"Y-yes but he w-wants to sp-speak to Young Mistress a-alone," Feeby stuttered fearfully.
"Mmmm tell him I'll be there shortly," she said and dismissed Feeby.
In no time, Violetta was seated opposite Abraxas who had taken over Lucius' study for the time being. The conversation had quickly escalated and Violetta had to calm herself to make sure she wasn't going to say or do anything that can't be undone or said.
"Of course it is regrettable that your father won't be here but there's nothing we can do about it. As for traditions, it will be me who gives you away," explained Abraxas.
Those words alerted Violetta and she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No," she said sternly. "You aren't going to give me away."
"Cygnus then," said Abraxas.
Violetta shook her head. "No."
Abraxas stood up, he had no interest to argue with Violetta. He didn't think she was worth it. Instead, he poured a glass of fire-whiskey and drank it with one swift motion. He placed the empty glass on the mantle of the fireplace next to him.
"Then who?" He asked.
"Like you care," spat Violetta.
Abraxas huffed. "You are right, I don't. But do tell."
"Regulus," she mumbled. "If anyone is going to give me away, and it has to be a man, then it should be my twin brother."
"I suppose that can be arranged," said Abraxas and walked back to the desk. "Is there anything else?"
Violetta pursed her lips.
She wanted to ask Abraxas about what happened to her when she was a baby ― although she wasn't even sure if he had anything to do with it but he was the head of the family. He must at least know that something had happened.
This also made Violetta question her parents' knowledge. There was no way that her parents didn't know ― they were way too protective.
"Well? Speak up girl!" Abraxas barked out of annoyance.
"What did the Dark Lord do to me?" She asked, her eyes icy and dark.
For a second it looked like Abraxas had frozen in place but he recovered from it very fast. His normal cold expression appeared back to him as he straightened his back and cleared his throat. However good his efforts were, the look of uncertainty in his eyes did not vanish.
"What on earth are you talking about girl? Has the Black madness finally gotten you?" Said Abraxas coolly.
Violetta grimaced at her grandfather's words and stood up. She leaned her hands against the desk separating her and Abraxas, her breathing steady and even as she stared at the man opposite her.
"You know what I'm talking about," said Violetta. "And I would like to know what the hell happened. I have tried to figure it out for the past week but yet I have not come up with a final word. I find it incredibly hard to believe that you have no idea what I am talking about. You and the Dark Lord used to be buddies, am I correct?"
The flames of the fireplace were nothing against the flames of hatred in Violetta's eyes. She looked barking mad.
"Get a hold of yourself!" Barked Abraxas, his palm meeting Violetta's cheek quickly and loudly.
Violetta held her red cheek when the doors banged open and Narcissa entered the room. Her eyes immediately laid on her daughter who was holding her cheek.
"You son of a bitch..." muttered Narcissa and hurried by Violetta's side.
"Mum no," Violetta shook her head and moved away from her mother.
Narcissa took a deep breath in and exhaled before she took a sharp turn towards her father-in-law.
"You are forcing her into a marriage she does not want...." said Narcissa, holding her tears. "You cannot determine my children's life, not hers nor my sons. You cannot go around my home and hit my child!"
"I should have forced my son into a marriage with someone else. A proper marriage, with someone who would have given him proper heirs!" Abraxas yelled.
"He has two! That is more than you have!"
Abraxas pointed his wand at Narcissa. "You don't talk to me that way. Crucio!"
Violetta stared in horror at the scene in front of her and while she didn't want to do anything else than to go and help her mother ― she couldn't move. She felt like her legs had stopped working and her mind was as empty as her life.
She has never wanted to kill anyone but now, watching her grandfather torturing her mother, she wanted nothing more than to end that miserable bastard's life. Violetta nearly ran to her grandfather and snapped his wand from him without another thought, making the man stop torturing her mother.
"You stupid child," said Abraxas, taking his wand back and pressing it against Violetta's chest.
Violetta did nothing but stare at Abraxas. While she knows he has never liked her ― this is the first time when she has seen real hatred in his eyes. Hate that could lead to many awful things.
"Lettie..." Violetta heard her mother whisper and she turned straight towards her but Abraxas' wand still pressed against her.
"If you ever defy me again, I will make sure that you won't be here to help that excuse of a woman," he said, retrieved his wand and left the room without another word.
Violetta waited until he was gone and she could no longer hear his footsteps before she rushed to her mother. She fell on her knees and pushed some of her mother's hair from her face.
"Mama...." Violetta sighed, biting against her tears.
Narcissa shook her head a little before pushing herself to sit with some assistant from Violetta.
"I'm so sorry, that was all my fault. I shouldn't have made him angry..." Violetta mumbled.
"None of this is your fault," said Narcissa.
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For some reason or faith ― whatever you wanted to call it ― Violetta was standing just a few steps away from Fleur. Violetta had run into Fleur in muggle London and for Violetta, it did feel like it was fate. Like someone with higher power had finally given her a chance.
After Violetta had made sure her mother was all right and in the care of Priscilla ― the only sane person in the family ― Violetta had run out of the manor and into the freezing winter evening. She didn't care that her hands were freezing nor that she couldn't feel her toes anymore. All she knew was that she had to get out of her home.
It was no longer a home but a prison.
And she no longer had a mind of her own. Everything she did was either in order to protect her family or as a result of manipulation. And what happened between her mother and Abraxas, Violetta couldn't understand how anyone could torture a family member. It made it look like family wasn't important.
No matter how hard Violetta tried, she couldn't erase the memory of Abraxas using the Cruciatus Curse on her mother. Violetta herself has been tortured by her aunt, she has tortured other human beings but there was absolutely nothing worse than seeing her own mother being in pain.
Violetta knew that Abraxas did it out of spite. Despise he feels towards his granddaughter and daughter-in-law but mostly his granddaughter. She was outraged ― she has done everything Abraxas has expected her to do.
She was a Death Eater and while she did do it because she wanted it ― she couldn't lie and say that a little part of her didn't do it to prove to her grandfather that she wasn't useless.
And now she was going to get married because Abraxas told her so.
But still nothing seemed to be enough.
Fleur was staring at Violetta, her eyes wide with surprise but brows furrowed by the sight of the Malfoy girl.
Violetta looked so different now ― beautiful but different. She looked much more mature yet more scared and hurt than she's ever looked. Her brown eyes that often reminded Fleur of brown tourmaline diamonds or fresh coffee beans were now almost unrecognisable. They were no longer soft or bright but sad and tired.
"What are you doing here?" Asked Fleur.
"It's a free country, isn't it?" Violetta said, looking around the city of London.
Fleur was slightly amused by Violetta's words but hid her smile.
"Yes it is," said Fleur but arched her brow. "Although there's been some debate now. Muggles are being hunted and so on..."
Violetta swallowed, her eyes leaving Fleur's immediately. It was funny how Violetta has never been ashamed of her identity, of her alliance but the second Fleur mentioned, she felt bad.
"Subtle," mumbled Violetta.
Fleur rolled her eyes. "Why are you here? I didn't take you as one who walks around muggle London for fun."
"I don't. But I'm not having fun either," said Violetta and leaned against the railing between her and the River Thames.
The blonde sighed and walked closer to Violetta. At first when Fleur saw Violetta, wondered if she thought about her life but it seemed that she had. But Fleur couldn't be sure ― she was afraid to ask.
"I'm getting married in a week," Violetta continued and glanced at Fleur. "I don't have a spine so I haven't said no. Or I did say no but they don't care. I mean they do but Abraxas doesn't, and it's all up to him."
Fleur knew that Abraxas Malfoy had set up a marriage between Violetta and someone but Fleur thought Violetta's been able to get out of it.
Violetta has always been one to get out of things without harming herself.
"Who is he?" Asked Fleur. "Not Peregrine I hope."
A soft chuckle escaped Violetta's lips and oh it felt good to laugh for real.
"No, not Peregrine. It's ummm... Flint. Marcus Flint. We have known each other since we were children but we're not friends," Violetta explained.
"He was the only one available?"
Violetta shrugged. "I don't think Abraxas tried too hard to find someone. Gabe and I, we've talked a few times if we would get married. At last I wouldn't hate my husband but Abraxas doesn't approve of him that much. His family does believe in blood supremacy but they aren't as devoted as some. Like me and my family."
Fleur nodded, her gaze looking over River Thames just like Violetta's was. December air felt cold against their skin, like someone was stabbing them with small needless. Even if the clock wasn't past five, the darkness of the night had begun to settle upon the city of London.
"I did think about what you said," said Violetta and turned her face towards Fleur. "About who I am and what I want. You see, I thought I did. I thought I knew but things have happened and now I don't know."
"What happened?" Asked Fleur.
Violetta's lip began to quiver. "Umm too many things. Just too many things," she whispered before covering her face with her palms.
Like an instinct, Fleur pulled Violetta closer to her and wrapped her arms around her.
"God I don't know what to do," Violetta cried and every single wall, every single brick she had put on that wall crumbled down faster than a Snitch trying to hide from a Seeker.
"It's okay..." said Fleur although she had no idea what caused Violetta to fall apart.
Violetta shook her head. "No it's not. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."
Fleur stepped away from Violetta, her eyes looking at her with worry and fear. The brunette right in front of her was shaking, her cheeks stained with tears and nose red.
"I'm worse than before. I really am..."
"Leta..."
"No, Fleur. I am worse," said Violetta.
The blonde sighed heavily. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."
"No I can't! Y-you broke things off the last time and I back then, I hadn't even done anything. I can't talk to my mother because she gets so worried and I don't want to burden her. And I-I don't want her to get hurt. She defended me today and got hurt. My brothers, I'm afraid that they won't understand and I am just so tired," Violetta cried, and sat on the cold ground.
"Leta, listen to me. I didn't break things off because of you. I broke them off for you. You needed time to think and I don't mean that you had to become a better person. I understand that things are hard for you at the moment, with your father being gone and everything. I didn't want to add anything else for you to worry by being around," Fleur explained and lowered herself next to Violetta.
Violetta sniffed. "I don't think I can do this anymore. My life is awful, and I'm tired. I haven't felt happiness in a long time and I want it. If I marry Marcus... I just, I just can't do it. I would be stuck with him for the rest of my life."
Fleur placed her hand on Violetta's knee and gave Violetta a soft smile.
"Then don't do it. Don't marry him," she said.
"If I don't then.... then I will be disowned. I don't think Abraxas will let this one go."
Fleur pursed her lips together and took a deep breath in. She cupped Violetta's cheeks and used her thumbs to wipe her fresh tears.
"I still care about you. I care about you a lot and it would break my heart if you do this thing you don't want to. And you said that you haven't been happy, I highly doubt that is going to change if you get married. I know your family means the world to you but if it makes you sad and it forces you to do things you don't want, I'm not sure if that is healthy," Fleur said and fought against her own tears.
Violetta's whole body shook, her eyes were closed but she could still see Fleur right in front of her. She could picture her deep blue eyes ― the eyes which reminded her of the ocean ― staring at her.
"There's something else..." whispered Violetta and opened her eyes ― and there Fleur was, looking at her with a soft but sad smile.
"I found out that the Dar..." Violetta began but stopped. She didn't know what to call her Dark Lord in front of Fleur.
She hasn't told Fleur that she was a marked Death Eater but Violetta knew that she at least suspects it.
"You-Know-Who," said Violetta, clearing her throat. "Apparently he did something to me when I was a baby. I don't know what he did but ummm I'm.... I'm scared. I can't say a word to my mum because she will freak out but I'm also afraid that she might know and that she's been lying to me my entire life."
Fleur's mouth gaped open ― she was stunned to hear the news.
"W-what?"
Violetta exhaled sharply and got up.
"I s-shouldn't have said anything," she stuttered and looked around her ― the unfamiliarity of muggle London started to make her nervous. "I-I have to go."
She turned around to walk away from Fleur but didn't get too far because she felt a hand in hers.
"Fleur I have to go," she whispered.
"I know but just... I will be here when you need me to," said Fleur.
Violetta smiled tearfully before walking away.
next chapter is going to be a game changer you guys ;)