It's all coming together
Jack's pov
I had to cringe, it was a lot of years since I got a hug. But then, holding him, it was different than any other fake hugs I shared. I never felt this kind of fear when Arthur left. What the heck was that? I couldn't move to stop him. I was frozen. What if he didn't come back? What if he left?
I let go of him softly to look at him. He's so cute. He's so soft and sweet and he doesn't deserve any of what he's been through.
His face still read guilt. He felt like it was his fault and I didn't want him to think that. It's not his fault he wasn't ready. It's not his fault that we fought, it's mine.
"Cupcake." I stated, whispering.
"Yes?" He whispered back, looking up at me kind of shyly.
"I didn't mean to scream at you." I said and he rubbed his tears as we pulled away from the hug, both blushing.
Whoa. This was hell of a theater we shared.
Then I got an idea.
"Hey, I've got something to show you." I said. "It's special."
He smiled softly. I raised my hand, and he took mine, then we left. I had to show him this place, it was really special for me. After all, I used it to think about him when I was young.
Arthur's pov
Jack's apology made me feel warm. I was always the one apologizing for things. So, it was kinda new for me.
We left outside, hand in hand. I trusted him so I didn't really care where we were going.
______
We stopped at a place that looked quiet, abandoned, and beautiful. It was on a train tracks but I suggest the train is no longer running here. Right?
Jack sat in the middle of the tracks, and smiled at me.
Oh, his smile.
I sat next to him, not close, leaving space for both of us. We looked at the outlook of a field that was in front of us. Is was beautiful. Like..
Like Jack.
My cheeks heated up as I looked at him, his eyes were glued to the field, as if it really meant something to him.
"I used to run away from my house at night and watch stars here." He said, knowing that I was looking at him.
I gazed down, pulling my knees up my chest. Should I tell him the truth about my childhood? I think I should. Jack was with me when I was small, he thought I was abused. Only abused. He still thinks that. I don't want to bring it up but it feels wrong when Jack doesn't know. On the other side I always wanted to tell to someone. To cry it out. Not even the newspapers knew this...
"Jack." I said, looking at him.
He looked at me back. "Yes?"
"I lied to you... about my childhood" I took a deep breath, staring to the ground now.
"When I was small.. It wasn't only abuse."
"What do you mean, cupcake?" He placed his hand on top of mine, just like I did the first time when he shared his story. This means so much to me.
"From what I remember I was..." I felt fear to say it. "...sexually used by my mother's boyfriend. A lot, a lot of times." my voice was shaking.
"Oh, Arthur." Jack sat closer to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and I placed my head to his chest.
"You should have told me before. I wouldn't try anything on you." He rubbed my arm to comfort me. How can such a thing give me butterflies?
"No, no. It's not that. It's somehow different with you."
He didn't answer for a while. "My father forced me drugs when I was small." he stopped and chuckled. "It's crazy that I can share this with you, when I kept my mouth shut about it."
"Same for me. What do you mean, what kind of drugs?" I asked. I was curious about his past. I remember when he cried to me, because he was scared of his father. And then I remember how he brought me food, but that's pretty all I can do.
"He always put it into my meal or drink, I don't get it why. But I found out when I was getting dizzy."
"People are fucking monsters."
"Yes." He ageed.
"Hey.. Artie. We don't have to, uh, have sex at all, If you would feel really uncomfortable."
I looked at him shocked. Would he do that because of me?
"It's a thing everyone needs at some point. You can't avoid. Me either."
But I still don't know what are we. Maybe we're just in love.
Silence. This is awkward, man.
"H-Have you ever... Tried it... With male?" I almost whispered, struggling between my words. Jack heard me. He bite his lip and slowly nodded.
"In my dream." He said.
"Was he at least pretty?" I huffed.
"Well, I'm sure you are pretty, cupcake."
I thought for a while. "You dreamed about me?"
"Mhm. I dreamed about you..." He stopped. Like if he didn't want to continue, but I was too curious.
"What? What did you want to say?"
He sighed. "When I was smaller and I visited you to give you food. Remember that?"
"Yes. The cupcakes." I smiled.
"Do you remember anything else?" He looked me in the eyes, and I felt stressed suddenly. His expression was pressuring me.
"I told you I only remember some stuff before I got hit in the head. Then I only remembered growing up with my mother in an apartment."
Jack took a deep breath, briefly. "Arhur... I saved your life."
...Wait, what?
"What do you mean? Jack?"
"When you got hit in the head, you were in critical state. You were locked in a small room. There was a window, you know that. One day I decided to go out and share my lunch with you, because you seemed sweet when I first brought you the cupcakes."
He was looking to the view, and I was looking at him. I wanted to hear this story. He continued.
"I heard you coughing, and then saw you laying in your own blood. I got inside threw the window. I carried you away immediately, and brought you to the hospital in my arms. That's when the guys from newspapers and TV found out about your story. I knew you won't remember anything when you wake up, honestly I thought you wouldn't remember the cupcakes either. I ran away from my house after bringing you to that hospital. And never heard of you again until now. Only in my nightmares.."
I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. That's too much for me to know- he saved my life? What?! Why do I not remember him?? That's pissing me off! We surely did a lot of things together.
"Nightmares...?" I whispered.
He nodded. "It's always the same. There's you, telling me why did I leave you. But ever since I met you again, the nightmares stopped."
Wow, Jack really opened up to me now. I'm so happy. By the look at him, he seems sad. Guilty that he told me. But I didn't want him to feel that way. He's the best, he saved my life!
"Are you mad at me for leaving you?" He said and finally looked at me.
"Jackie," I begun, kneeling in front of him and then getting on his lap. I caused him to blush, and to myself too.
I took his cheeks and kissed his nose. "You saved my life. I'm so, so thankful. This is the third fucking time you saved me. You brought me food when I was starving, you brought me to the hospital when I was dying, and you saved me from Mafia guys. Jack. You're my guardian angel. I've been trying to find you for my entire fucking life!"
He held back tears. I saw it. My heart felt so happy. I hugged him around his neck and he hugged me back immediately.
"We're soulmates." He said.
"We're soulmates." I repeated.
I knew there was something weird. The first time I saw him? The eye contact we shared? The connection I felt to him even though I 'didn't know him'? It's all coming together now.
It's all coming together.