HIM.
The semi-high pitched arguing from the living room felt like a cloud releasing rain in the back of my head. It wasn't the focal point of my mind, but damnit it was annoying how it sat back there, a constant bickering, it seemed.
"Why can't we just use my car?"
"Because your car doesn't have AC Kennedy."
"There are windows."
"We're driving to Tampa, we will die in your car."
"Well how would you know if we don't try?"
"Ryker, tell your girlfriend we're not using her car."
"Babe, tell Korinne she's being boujee as hell and needs to chill out."
"Not wanting to literally hot box in your easy-bake oven of a car is not me being boujee."
"Easy-bake oven?"
"Ryker say something!" They both yell at the same time, and I could imagine the both of them arguing with him in the middle, looking back and forth between the two like a baby bunny centered around wolves. There's a long moment of silence before I hear a gross moan, a gasp, and heavy footsteps getting closer to where my miserable self was. "Your sister and best friend are nasty together." Korinne pulls out a barstool across from me, from what I can sense, and sighs loudly.
"Some would argue they're adorable."
"Not every argument should be resolved with a kiss." I lift my head up from the table, and with blurry eyes, I look at Korinne's tired, grey ones.
"You'd be surprised how many of their arguments end with Ryker sad on the couch." I rest my head back on the cool table, trying my best to get rid of the headache, but of course, with twin sisters, you'll rarely not have one. Kennedy storms into the kitchen, and plants her hands on her hips, her cheeks flushed and lips slightly swollen, though her eyes were brighter than usual. I roll my eyes when she looks at me, a proud smirk on her face.
"I just want to thank you for becoming best friends with Ryker because I'd have never met him, and he quite seriously knows how to kiss me to docility." I gag, feeling the pressure go straight to my head, not helping the slight pounding coming on from my temples. She looks at her sister. "Hag."
"Mold."
"Witch."
"Bitch."
"Language!" My mom calls from the stairs, heading down into the kitchen whilst shaking her head, though Caleb hops down first and rolls his eyes.
"I fucking hate twins."
"Caleb!"
"Sorry, mom." I rub my temple as I glance at Caleb, who sticks his middles finger up at all of us once he gets away from the stairs and out of our mother's sight. Her soft steps paddle into the kitchen shortly after Caleb, and she immediately frowns at me, her mom magnet being drawn to me.
She puts her hand on my back, and gives me a loving rub before kissing me on the cheek. "What's going on? Do you want breakfast?" She then rushes over to the other side, not even wanting my answer because she was going to cook anyway. "Caleb!"
"What, Ma?" He yells back from down the hall. I bite lip and swallow down the curses trying to crawl up my throat. My sisters fall back into their petty argument while my mom and brother yell back and forth on the topic of what he wants for breakfast. There's never a lot of yelling that goes on in my house because my mother was generally quiet unless she was around my dad, or her friends.
However, there are few times when there are moments of pure chaos, and that's when everyone is gathered together without Caprice. My mom is basically the glue on the completed puzzle, my father being the puzzle piece collector and organizer. Without him, we'd be all over the place, and arguing with each other over dumb things like this:
"Could you two shut your mouths for five seconds? Jesus, you sound like 3rd graders," Caleb pauses his conversation with my mom in order to fuss at our older siblings, who both turn in that twin-like scary way, their eyes blinking in shock.
"You're one to talk, Caleb," Korinne narrows her eyes, looking at her duplicate that further explains why my brother is one to talk.
"Yeah, Mr. My Girl Best Friend That I Sleep With Is Just My Friend," Kennedy smirks. I wince, watching as a fire brews in his eyes. He opens his mouth, possibly about to unleash some terrible, hot-headed mean jab, but I speak before he can hurt her feelings.
"Just like you called Ryker just a friend?" She narrows her eyes at me in a glare. I glare right back, not scared at all because out of the both of them, Kennedy was mostly talk. She can manipulate people with her words, and be a mean girl with her sly tongue, but Korinne was the kicker. She'd kick your ass in a heartbeat, and even though she can do damage, she'd never go that far with me. Despite the small wounds we give each other, we're all each other's soft spots.
That's why I have their names tatted on my back, and those three hearts behind my ear. Well, four as of recently because I started dating Raine and she felt like the missing piece of my puzzle. She still does feel like that missing piece, so obviously I'm not getting it removed. Kennedy rolls her eyes at me, the best thing she could think to do. "Stay out of this you little—"
"Enough." My dad's soft, but strict voice travels from the upstairs to us, and the sound of heavier, scarier footsteps are almost echoed down to us. The only thing we saw at first were his big, bare feet half hidden by the length of his plaid night pants, and then the rest of his huge self was revealed. Sunday mornings were a time where my dad finally got time off at his club and could relax. Even though he has a calm, chilled persona on the outside, he's always calculating and thinking about any and everything on the inside. He rubs his eyes while walking further into the kitchen, his eyes briefly flicking over to where my brother was peeking over mom's shoulder as she mixes pancake batter.
"You two are twenty-five," he points to Korinne and Kennedy, who both have those stupid doe eyes, trying to seem innocent. "You're both twenty-two," he drags his tired gaze from the twins to me and then Ryker, who was leaning against the wall, just taking everything in. "And you're eighteen," he gestures to Caleb. "Why are you all arguing like kids? Shut up and sit down." And like the father-fearing children we were, everyone made their way to the kitchen island table where I was, taking their seats. He looks to my mom, who looks up and away from the bowl of mix, sensing his gaze. "Baby."
"Daddy," she whispers softly, lovingly, a hint of a teasing smile on her lips. I roll my eyes at the same time my dad did, and grimace. I swear every time I visit I become more and more like him.
They share a brief look before he turns to the table of us. "What's going on anyway?"
"The girls are being mean to Carson because he's getting over his heartbreak," my mom gives me a quick glance, and then pours batter into a pan, wiping the excess mixture with her finger and pressing it to her apron.
"Well did you call her?" My dad gives me that 'are you dumb?' look, crossing his arms over his bare chest, and leaning back against the wall across from us.
"I don't have her number."
"Why don't you just go to her house?" Korinne asks me, flicking her hair over her shoulder so that it was away from her face when she rested the side of her face in her hand.
"I don't know where she lives."
"Don't you have her mom's number, Lo?" Dad turns to his wife, who is staring at her pan, making sure her pancake doesn't run away.
"I don't want her to feel pressured into something she doesn't want. Also, it's not my place, she's an adult," she shrugs.
"She would totally come back for you. She cares a whole lot about you," Kennedy catches my gaze from across the island, her dark eyes looking sympathetic. "Anyone can see that."
"Did you call Vincent?" I cut my gaze to Ryker, that was sitting on my side of the table, across from Kennedy, and on the other side of Korinne. I shake my head. I feel like how my mom feels. I shouldn't have to pressure her. I gave her a damn letter and my jacket. If she wants me, she'd call me, right?
"I don't want to pressure her."
"I seriously think if you found out where she lived and walked up to her door, she'd take you back instantly." That was Kennedy, and her carbon copy agreed, saying that Raine is basically as invested in us as I am, and that me waiting is a way to keep from feeling embarrassed if she were to shut me down. I told them that may be partly true, but I still want this to be her decision. That's the most respectful thing I could do , right? What happened with what my dad said to Ryker? "Let her come to you."
He gives an amused shake of his head before pushing away from the wall. "I'll show you something." He crosses the short distance between him and my mother, where she was pouring her next pancake into the pan. As soon as the bowl touched the counter and her finger took that swipe across her pink apron, he grabbed her by the back of her neck. She tenses with a light squeak leaving her little body, and then relaxes back into his touch. He presses his lips to her forehead, whispers something against her skin. She instantly nods, mumbling something back to him and leans against the counter when he lets go of her. "I told Ryker to let Kennedy come to him. I told you to not be possessive because she doesn't trust you. Because she didn't trust you."
He slowly walks back over to where we were all sitting and leans on the island, right in front of me, giving me serious eye contact. "All women are different. Your mom needs someone to rule her. Kennedy needs someone to understand her. It sounds to me, Raine needs someone to claim what's theirs. Think about that."
Is that really why she resists so much?
I think of little moments. Times that I've been possessive. Holding her close to me when she was talking to her fucktoy that one morning before our game. Snapping at Vinny and Ryker for always flirting with her even though Vincent is gay and Ryker only has eyes for my sister. Pulling her dress down at the club because she wanted to make her body a show for everyone. Threatening guys on the field when they were being disrespectful to her. That was my job originally, to piss her off to no end, and I hated watching others think they had the leisure to do it.
She told me she didn't trust me. Didn't trust me to be serious about her. She didn't understand how after countless times of me being a horrible human being, she still forgave me. She didn't let me get over on her. She let me touch her, but not her heart. Not so soon, and I admired her for that. I adored her strength, her stubbornness, her caring nature, her slick tongue. She thought I was playing games.
I wasn't, never with her.
I'm still not.
"What if she doesn't want me?" I say lowly, my cheeks heating just from being so vulnerable to my family. We talk to each other about everything, but it's still those soft conversations that make me feel like a little kid again.
"Ladies, cover your ears for me," My dad glances at all of them to make sure they weren't listening too hard. He focuses on me. "Don't be a pussy."
"And if I may add," my mom flashes a smile at my dad, clearly disobeying him on purpose. She's such a brat. "I've talked with her when you first brought her home. She wants you, Calix."
I bite down on my lip before letting it go to clench my jaw. "Looks like I have some people to talk to."
|||
I forgot just how many people she and I knew as a collective. I started with Isaiah because I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with the other one. And it wasn't a text or a call because I didn't have his number. I had to dm him on Instagram, and when I tell you it was the most awkward thing I'd ever done in my life. You could tell I was in desperation mode because you see, I don't even follow the guy, and yet I dove into his dm and said and I quote:
hi.
And obviously he didn't answer right away. And when he did, he made it even worse by asking me who the hell I was.
Very cute. I had texted that.
He then followed up by saying sorry because he couldn't give me anything without Raine's consent, and she's been limiting her contact with people ever since we broke up. Why does she have to break my heart like this? I called Vincent shortly after, and gave him a piece of my mind. "I know you told Isaiah not to say anything."
"I have no control over what he does."
"Right, except when you're going back and forth between fucking each other, huh?" He hung up. At that point I was locking myself in the bathroom because everyone in the house kept bothering me, trying to come up with different ideas on how I can win her back. Buy her flowers. She'd rather have strawberries. Buy her a ring. I'll scare her away. Apologize. How many fucking times do I have to keep apologizing until she forgives me for telling her about my job so late?
I was nervous as fuck because we were doing so well. Everything was going so good. We were going on dates. We were fucking like crazy. I made love to her in her apartment. I was over her family's house so many times, and she and my mom were constantly in contact with each other. We were practically married.
But I guess in marriages, there should be no secrets, right?
Oh, and unconditional love. I roll my eyes.
I ended up sending Vinny a long text about how I didn't mean to be a dick, but of all people, he knows how to tick me off real quick. Next was Sebastian, Gardner, and even her damn brothers.
I got a whole lot of getting sent to voicemail, sorrys, and a death threat by the oldest brother because he didn't even know that we had broken up. So if I ever do anything that she draws the line at, it's off with my head, as the great queen of hearts says. If only he knew all the shit I've done already that would render me the death penalty in his court.
I rub my hands over my face, looking at my solemn reflection in the mirror. I chew on my lip, thinking about how calling the people closest to her were too loyal, and therefore wouldn't spill anything to me because I'm the antagonist. I have a target on my back, I notice. Even Ryker sides with her half of the time, and we've known each other for what feels like forever.
Too detached like Gardner gets me nothing but a long conversation.
I dial Hunter's number. The low tone of the ring echoes through the bathroom twice before it stops abruptly and I'm sent to voicemail. I huff, leaning back against the wall to look at myself in pity again. If I have to march up to her friend's apartment and get arrested, I'd fucking do it. Maybe then, she'd come and get me. I think I'd look kinda hot in a jailhouse suit, so maybe she'd want me back instantly.
And if she doesn't come to me, I guess I'll have to find a spoon and scratch my way out.
A text startles me after being so deep into the jail escaping process. I brace my hands on the counter, and read the text on my lock screen.
Hunner: Busy. What's up?
Me: doing what?
Please don't say having sex, please don't.
Hunner: tag teaming...what's up?
Aka, having sex. A threesome, actually.
Me: You probably won't, but do you have Carter's recent address by any chance?
It took him a while to get back to me, and I could only think of how I was sort of interrupting his 'tag teaming', and he still got back to me. You gotta love Hunter.
There's a banging on the bathroom door at the same time another text comes through. It's a constant, aggressive knock knock knock. "Fucking what?" I yell, staring at the door with a murderous expression as if it was a person.
"I have to pee! Get out!" I huff at Kennedy. Well, I let out a kumbaya breath at the image in my head of Kennedy's annoying face, probably with her nose scrunched up, her top lip curling upward in a sneer. I bet if I were to hit the door, it would push back just enough to bump her ugly face. But my phone pinging again for my second reminder notification brings me back to the pressing situation: finding my girl.
"Carson!"
"Shut up! Go to the other bathroom."
"Mom and dad are in the bathroom doing euchgh," she gags. I chuckle. That's not my problem.
I look at my phone once more, and my eyes widen at the sight of an address. In Alabama. Her address, still on the same street as Bambi's, but a lot further down.
Me: fucking how?
Hunner: one's getting ate out nd the other getting f'd from the back by me
Hunner: lol
Hunner: me and that deer chick have been talking for a while after we met after our game in bama.
Me: Thanks man, seriously. We're talking about you and her later tho.
Hunner: Gr8. We're talking about you and Carter later too. Wasn't gonna tell me y'all broke up...?
Me: not when I plan on getting back with her.
Hunner: go get it, baby
I snatch my phone from the counter, and swing open the bathroom door, pulling Kennedy down because she was leaning on it. I step over her, ignoring her dramatic groans of pain from hitting her elbow. Again, that's not my problem.
I felt a new sense of energy as I grabbed my keys and two pink lemonades before backing up when I got a whiff of the breakfast my mom cooked. With one glance over, I saw my plate made, sitting on the counter, and balanced that in my arms as well. Then I found myself heading to the garage, and clicking the button on my keypad to unlock my doors.
Let's go snatch up a Raine Iris Carter.
___