Liam
It had been nearly four months since I found Lily and after her first week, I could probably count on one hand the number of times we actually talked. We asked each other the occasional question, or said good morning when we passed by each other in the hall and that was basically it. I could go days at a time without ever actually laying eyes on her. The only proof she existed was her mouthwatering scent that clung to nearly every square inch of our house. The extended absence from our mate was making my wolf depressed. He rarely talked to me, didn't even bother to ask for Lily and flat out ignored me most days. I couldn't even remember the last time I shifted. So now, not only did I feel like I was missing the half of my soul where Lily should reside, I was losing my constant companion in my wolf. I thought pushing her away, keeping my distance and making her hate me would make me happy. I didn't want anything to do with having a mate, being all annoying and in love.
The idea used to make me gag.
But now I can feel in our pack link the love they hold for her. Our pack bond is stronger, content, happy even. It's everything I wanted for my pack.
Then why am I so fucking miserable?
I can't even remember the last time I had a good night's sleep. I had to move my bedroom right across from hers. I told her the bathroom was better but the truth is the only way I can fall asleep at night is by listening to her heart beat through the walls. It's pathetic, annoying and even a little creepy which is why I haven't admitted it to anyone but myself.
After hours of mind numbing paperwork I decide to escape the house that taunts me with her glorious scent and take a walk. As I head down the stairs, I hear shuffling coming from the dining room. I doubt it's Lily, since I've never seen her in there so decide to inspect it. Sure enough, there my girl sits with papers around her, a pen in hand and ear buds in with her foot tapping to the beat of whatever music she's listening to. I tap on the table to get her attention and she startles before looking up at me. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion and she takes one ear bud out.
"What?" She asks curtly. I've gotten used to her short fuse over the last few months. She speaks as few words to me as possible to get her point across and no more. It used to be convenient, but now it gets on my nerves.
"What are you doing?" I ask as pleasantly as possible.
"Why do you care?" She rolls her eyes before looking back down at whatever she's working on.
"If it concerns my pack, then I care." I respond trying to keep my tone level. Civil conversation is what I'm shooting for here. Have to start off somewhere. She rolls her eyes and looks up at me. Her eyes are so beautiful I just want to stare at them for awhile and memorize every detail.
"I found out that you guys don't let the kids trick or treat on Halloween because you all go on a big pack run so I'm throwing a party for all of the kids and pregnant she wolves that can't shift." She says matter of factly before going back to work.
"Where is this party going to be?" I ask, genuinely curious. It's a good idea and I'm glad she thought of it.
"Here." She says simply and I freeze.
"Here? As in our house?"
"You mean your house."
"What?"
"This isn't my house, Liam. It's yours. And I'm borrowing it for the party." It hurts a little to think that she still considers this my house and not her home. I've tried my best to make it comfortable for her.
"What do you mean this isn't your house?" I ask her.
"It's 'the Alpha's house' not 'the Alpha and Luna's house'" she responds.
"That's just semantics, Lily. This is your home." She puts her pen down and looks up at me.
"No, Liam. This is not my home and it never will be. Nothing about this place feels warm and kind. And I sure as hell don't look forward to coming back here at the end of the day. Now if you will excuse me I need to finish the arrangements for this fucking party since the only reason for my pathetic existence is to make your fucking pack happy." She seethes behind clenched teeth.
I admit defeat and walk away quickly, leaving through the front door and head towards the packhouse. I burst through the front door and head to Sam's office, still irritated after my encounter with Lily. Luckily he's in his office and I sit in the chair by his desk.
"Um... come in?" He says as he focuses on his computer.
"I don't think this is working out." I say tiredly.
"What do you mean?" Sam says as he pushes his computer screen out of the way so he can look at me.
"Lily as Luna. She's angry, miserable, unpleasant and she swears like a sailor. The pack has to notice it and they probably are miserable too." Sam chuckles and shakes his head condescendingly at me.
"What?" I ask scowling at him.
"Lily is an amazing Luna. She may be the best Luna this pack has ever had, no disrespect to your mom." He answers.
"How do you figure?" I ask him.
"Everyone loves her. She's kind, sweet, thoughtful and generous. She bakes treats for the school kids every week for the ones that behave. Instances of bullying and fights have dropped to nearly zero. She tours the schools with the teachers regularly to see things that need fixed and ways to improve. When the teachers asked for some new tablets and we didn't have the budget for them, she used her own money to buy three. The teachers nearly cried.
She visits the pack hospital almost every day. Every single pup that's been born since she's been here has left the hospital with a blanket she makes by hand and delivers personally. She's even been present for a few births, holding the mother's hand and encouraging her. A couple of them even let her hold their baby before they got to. She nearly cried when that happened.
Every newly mated couple that moves in to a new house, she bakes them a cake or something for supper. Her lasagna is seriously amazing. The best thing I've ever eaten. Then she drops off the food herself and walks around their new home, complimenting their decor and wishing them the best.
She instated a parents night out where couples could drop off their pups at the packhouse and have a date night. She makes all of the teenagers come to help watch them. She says it gives them a sense of responsibility while also reminding them to always keep that spark of youth alive.
She walks around the entire pack every day just to say hi to people, to hug the kids and play games with them in the clearing. They all line up at the end of the game and wait for their turn to nuzzle her cheek and hug her. It's fucking adorable Alpha. So you can't sit here and say she's a bad Luna. The only time she curses is around you. The only time she's angry and miserable is around you. So maybe you should stop and think about who's really causing problems with the pack." I sit and stare at him in stunned silence.
"How did I not know about any of this?" I ask.
"Well, honestly Alpha, if it doesn't have to do with you directly you don't really seem to care about anything."
Well, I can't argue with him.
"My wolf is barely speaking to me. I've been preoccupied."
"I don't blame him. He probably misses his mate. I know if my mate is half as amazing as Lily is I will worship the ground she walks on." He says matter of factly and I don't doubt his proclamation for a minute.
"I need to fix this, Sam. I need to make things better with Lily. I don't know if we can ever get to a point where we are like real mates after all of the shit I've pulled, but I need to try. What do I do?" He sits quietly and ponders on this for a minute.
"The Halloween party is really important to her. She was upset when I told her we go on a run, knowing she couldn't go with."
"I had planned to let her ride on me, I just hadn't brought it up yet." I respond.
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have waited until three days before to even consider bringing it up. She's been planning this party for weeks. Plus, I don't think she will be riding you, one way or another any time soon." He says with a cocky grin. A roll my eyes at his pathetic innuendo.
"Anyway, offer to help with the party. Show her you care and you're being supportive. I think it would mean a lot to her."
"You're right, Sam." I say thinking to myself
"Yeah, well, I expect your first child to be named after me."
"Don't push it, Beta."