ғᴀʀᴇᴇᴅᴀʜ☯︎
"I think I'm going crazy ever since the kiss I keep having dreams about us kissing" I say
"Who you and Josh or you and Alex" jemila asks.
"fine we kissed" I admit. "But it didn't mean anything"
"I knew it" she shouts.
"Wait so you didn't know?" I mentally face palm myself
"Nope you just told me" she says smiling like she's just won a medal.
"So what are we doing about my problem" I ask.
"Oh that's a you problem" she says
Someone enters the room and gives me a note.
"It's from one of them right no wonder you're blushing see how your face is red" jemila winks at me.
I compose myself and say "I'm not blushing I'm just smiling and it's josh"
I get down from the bed and leave the room to go our spot in the class. On my way downstairs I bumped into Alex.
"Hey haven't seen you since heard about your little dare with Josh" Alex steps in front of me and laughs nervously. "Anyways i was on my way to class wanna walk..."
"Oh um yeah I'm actually meeting someone" I say nervously
"Cool who is it" Alex asks.
"Josh" I say.
"Looks like someone has plans" Alex says and winks at me.
"Maybe " I smirk teasing him "As if..." I'm saying when Faith Onuoha interuppts me. I roll my eyes at her "you need?" I ask.
"Yunno I always knew you were desperate following Joshua around like a dirty homeless puppy"
At that moment someone comes out of the toilet close to us I cover my nose and faith covers her nose too "Why are you covering your nose" I ask faith "I thought you'd already be used to the smell of your perfume"
She's getting angry "Whatever bitch" she says and starts walking away.
I laugh at her and say "Don't worry if you don't have a friend to bother you could always ask_ nevermind because who would be desperate enough to actually go out with you in public"
"Should I be scared of you" Josh asks from behind me.
"Yes you should" I smirk at him
He laughs "Wanna walk?"
"Yeah let's go" I say
During dinner I sit with jemila because I haven't eaten dinner with her in a long time. "I saw that stupid child today" I roll my eyes.
"F..." Jemila starts saying
"Don't say the name I don't want to vomit abeg"
"Did you see Jake when you went downstairs?" She asks
"Who?" I ask confused
"Josh it's code name so we can talk about him in front of him" Jemila says
"Yeah I saw Jake we talked a little" I say
"Thank God we'll soon go home. I'm tired of school" she says
"Prison not school" I add.
𓆉︎𓆉︎𓆉︎
It's midnight but I can't sleep. We're going home tomorrow because we're finishing our exam today.
I'm sitting in a bush I turn around and see my dad his back is turned to me I stand up and run to him but the closer I get the further away he is. I'm finally about to touch him but he disappears and everything goes black when I open my eyes again.
I'm underwater and breathing but then I realize that I'm under water and suddenly I can't breathe anymore
I scream and I wake up
and I realize it was just a dream I climb back on my bed and continue sleeping.
After the exam, when I step out of the exam hall the first person I see is josh
"When did you even finish" I say to him.
"Since I feel like you've been done since but you didn't go" josh says
"Maybe" I say "let's go back to the class"
When we get to the class we're both talking about random stuff when suddenly josh leans in and kisses me
I push him back "What are you doing!" I yell at him and leave the class.
When I get back upstairs luckily no one is in the room yet so I lay down and I fall asleep.
After sometime someone taps me I look up to see jemila already dressed up "what happened" I ask her
"It's almost time for the carol people are already going downstairs" jemila says
"Carol" I start panicking "I was only asleep for like 5 minutes" I say and rush to my locker to bring out my outfit and start dressing
"More like 5 hours" she says and leaves the room. "Me I'm going oo."
After rushing I still make it in time for the carol luckily for me rodia saved space for me and jemila. When I finally sit down rodia says "You look like you're going for Christmas party" I laugh.
I'm wearing a red knee length gown and Crocs, quite plain actually and yes I wear Crocs everywhere.
The carol was nice at least they shared food. After the carol I saw josh well he was shouting my name so loud I couldn't pretend to hear, we entered a class.
"Woah you look..." Josh starts to say but I interrupt.
"Yeah thank you I know" I say in a hurry to leave.
"No I'm not done about today..." He says.
"Yeah it's fine" I say to him.
"Stop interrupting me and I'm not apologizing for what happened I just wanted to tell you I uh i... I really like you more than just friends it's ok if you're not ready for this.." he blabs.
"Oh I'm sorry but...." I say
"Don't tell me you didn't feel it when we kissed..." He's saying.
"You mean when you tried to force yourself on me" I say.
"....there was something I felt it and you felt it too but you're trying to tell yourself it's not true and I didn't force you" he says.
"I'm sorry I'm just trying to remember when you asked for consent" I say and he shrugs.
"Ok I'm sorry let's try again" he says
"Can I kiss you?"
I laugh at him and turn my head.
"Wait you're not gonna answer?" He says with disbelief.
"Now you know how it feels" I leave the class and head upstairs.
☀︎︎☀︎︎☀︎︎
The next morning my driver comes early I pack my bags in the car and while we're waiting for my cousin I try not to think about yesterday.
I like him but I'm scared I won't let him break me.
"You're here early you're always the last person to come" Jeffery says but I ignore him.
When I get out of the car in the compound I open my bag immediately and bring out what I'm looking for I remove 2 tablets and run hand along the surface I'm about to swallow it but Jeffery calls me and I put them in my pocket.
"What are you doing" Jeffery says.
"Nothing please carry the other bag for me"
"Yeah sure no p" he says.
When I'm upstairs and alone I bring out the pills and swallow them. Suddenly my head feels light and my body feels weightless. This was just what I needed. I lay on my bed and try to fall asleep
I fall asleep again I wake up and look at my bedside clock 2:30am. Almost immediately I remember the pills if mom knew I was using she would send me to rehab with immediate effect.
I go downstairs for water and see Jeffery sleeping on the couch I nudge him.
"What are you doing here you're supposed to be home" I say to him.
"Your mum's not coming back tonight so she said I could sleep over"
"And you decided to sleep on the couch suit yourself" I say and go back upstairs
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