TRIGGER WARNING: Death, violence, weapons, and angst.
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꧁𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑷𝒐𝒗꧂
𝚃𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟷𝟹𝚝𝚑 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟶
𝟸𝟹:𝟶𝟶𝚙𝚖
𝙻𝚊 𝙵𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝚈𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝙲𝚒𝚝𝚢, 𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝚈𝚘𝚛𝚔
"Did you find her?" I asked Rossi nervously as he approached the back of the ambulance that I was sitting in.
"Yeah" Rossi replied.
"A-And was she... Was she-"
"She went to find her mom" Rossi replied.
"She's alive?" Hotch questioned incredulously, Rossi nodded.
"And you let her run off to find her mom?" I asked angrily as the medics tried to keep me sitting down so that they could treat my wounds.
"Kid, she just wants this to be over. She doesn't care about the bombs" Rossi explained softly.
"Yeah, no shit sherlock! Of course, she doesn't care about the bombs!" I snapped suddenly realizing what I had just said to Rossi, I took a deep breath and readjusted myself in my seat.
"Sorry" I mumbled.
"It's just, I thought she died, a-and now she's not, but she might get blown up any minute... I just... She's my friend, I just want her to be ok".
"She's our friend too Reid" Hotch sighed squeezing my unharmed shoulder.
"Hotchner, all swat agents have been evacuated, all my agents are here too, what about yours?" Kingsley asked as he approached us.
"All of us are here, apart from Fox, she's gone after her Antoinette" Hotch informed him as the rest of our team gathered around us.
"She's alive?" Kingsley asked, folding his arms and looking around at all the agents.
"It seems that way"
"That woman is immortal" Kingsley chuckled turning his attention to me and giving me a soft, sympathetic smile.
"Don't worry kid, you'll get your girl back"
"She's not my girl, she's my friend" I retorted quietly.
"Yeah, Fox isn't the romance type" Derek stated.
"Believe me, I've tried"
"Me too" Emily sighed.
"And me" Penelope added.
"Whatever you say" Kingsley mumbled before walking over to his team.
"What do we do now?" JJ asked looking over at our boss.
"We wait for the bomb squad to arrive, the-" Hotch was cut off by a loud gunshot going off in the distance. I shot up from my seat, shrugged off the blanket that was draped over my shoulder, and ran towards the building before anyone could stop me.
꧁𝒀/𝒏𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗꧂
I hadn't even gotten a chance to turn round when the shot fired and I felt the bullet painful painfully rip through my shoulder.
My mother cheated.
Of course, she did.
She claims to not be a coward but doesn't seem to have the confidence to play fairly. I guess you can't teach your kids something that you don't believe in yourself.
I quickly turned around and fired a shot at my mom's side. The bullet hit the right side of her abdomen, causing blood to begin to spill out.
She fired two more shots at me but missed both of them. I guess the shot to her stomach caught her off guard.
Before she could fire another shot, I jumped behind the couch in the room, dodging two more shots. Then when her gun went quiet, I popped my head up and shot her again, this time on the left side of her abdomen.
She stumbled for a moment, then fired her gun once more at me, the bullet grazed my arm but didn't cause me much damage.
She tried to shoot me again but tiredly collapsed to the floor. I got up from the couch and walked over to her.
"Does this mean I win?" I asked, my mother, didn't reply. Slowly I pointed my gun at her head and smirked.
"Y-You c-can k-kill m-me ph-physically, but I'll always, b-be i-in your head, g-good l-luck t-trying to live h-h-happily w-with th-that S-Spencer R-Reid... I g-guess I win" She choked as blood began to fill her throat.
Angrily I shot her in the head, then I continued to fire till my magazine was completely empty.
I looked down numbly at her lifeless body for a moment, I didn't exactly know how to feel.
"Y/n" I heard a voice shout, snapping me out of my trance. I looked out the window and saw Spencer running towards the east wing.
I shoved the gun into my holster and ran out the building towards him like there was no tomorrow.
'When this is all over, and you're free from your family curse, tell him how you feel,'
I think both spencer and I were thinking the exact same thing because the moment we reached each other, our lips crashed together.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, ran my fingers through, his shot, messy, curly brown hair.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.
"I love you" I whispered pulling away and pressing my forehead against his.
"I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did... And I've tried to keep you away from all this so that you'd be safe but-"
"Y/n" Spencer cut in.
"Yeah?"
"I love you too" He whispered leaning in and kissing me once more.
The moment was special, it was like none other. There we were standing smack in the middle, of what I'm going to call the courtyard, sharing a beautifully romantic moment.
Could the team see?
Yes.
Did me and Spencer know that they could see?
No.
Did we care at all?
Not really.
As we pulled away from the second kiss, three loud explosions went off all around us. Spencer pulled me closer, crouched down then shielded my body with his as each building began to collapse.
"Are you ok?" Spencer asked once most of the loud noises had diminished.
"I think so" I murmured.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah" Spencer mumbled as we both slowly and carefully stood up and looked round at the chaos around us.
"I guess the bombs were on a timer" I sighed.
"Or your mom is still alive" Spencer joked.
"Nope, she's definitely dead" I mumbled.
"I thought I heard quite a few shots, how many times did you shoot her?" Spencer asked, why did this man have to be a genius.
"If I tell you, I will lose my job"
"Really? That many times?" Spencer questioned raising his brow at me.
"I guess she's ash now"
"See, this is why I love you" I giggled breathily, as Spencer placed his hand on my waist and guided me away from the burning, broken, unstable buildings and back towards the team.
As we got nearer there was an echo of cheers, whistles, and kissing noises. The entire team was smirking. Well, I say the entire team, but Hotch didn't seem to have his happy face on.
"So you and pretty boy are dating then?" Derek questioned, as he, JJ, Penelope, Emily, and Rossi hurried up to us.
"I don't know, we didn't get to that part yet, the buildings exploded" I shrugged.
"That was like a scene out of a movie" Penelope squeaked.
"Wait so you guys aren't dating? You just both decided to kiss each other without hesitation or awkwardness or-" Emily questioned.
"Well we've been screwing each other for years, but apart from that" I cut in before quickly leaving the conversation and walking over to a grumpy-looking Hotch.
"Listen I know what you're going to say, I know I was reckless, but my mom, is dead, I'm alive, yes me and Spencer almost got slightly blown up, but we didn't and it all worked out in the end" I stated.
"You and Reid are perfect for each other, on paper you're both geniuses, in reality, both of you are complete idiots" Hotch sighed.
"Does that mean I have your blessing?" I questioned with a smirk.
"He's not my son Y/n" Hotch pointed out raising his brows.
"Ok, whatever you say sir" I giggled.
"I'm glad you're alive. You need to go to the hospital, and then I want you to take a compulsory three months off. You can't argue either, especially if you want to continue at the BAU, and date Spencer" Hotch stated.
"Alright, whatever you say"
𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟷𝟺𝚝𝚑 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟶
𝟷𝟶:𝟶𝟶𝚊𝚖
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙹𝚎𝚝.
We all went to the hospital together and got treated for the various injuries that we had sustained on this case.
Honestly, I didn't know how I was feeling about everything. I mean, on the one hand, I couldn't be happier, my parents were dead, and I was free from the paranoia and god knows what else.
And so on paper, I should be happy, relieved, calm, cheerful, basically all the synonyms for the word happy.
Yet, in reality, I don't think I was completely happy, in fact, if anything I was sad, and I didn't know why.
"You ok?" Spencer asked taking a seat next to me on the jet.
"Hm?" I hummed looking up at him.
"I said are you ok?" he repeated.
"Oh, uh-yeah" I mumbled turning to look out the window.
"Hey, talk to me" Spencer nudged me gently.
"I don't know... I... I feel... Sad..." I admitted.
"Which makes no fucking sense, but is true... I feel sad"
"Why doesn't it make sense?" Spencer questioned.
"Because my parents were the fucking worst, they literally tortured me, they raised me like a warrior, they-- they-"
"They were still your parents" Spencer cut in.
"Y'know with certain people, no matter what they do, no matter how bad they hurt you, a part of you will always love them"
"Yeah but-"
"Y/n look me in the eye and tell me that you don't have a single memory of your parents that makes you smile?"
-Flashback-
June 1985
"Maman? (Mommy?)" I whispered walking into the living room where my mother sat alone.
"Oui? (Yes)" My mother answered looking over at me.
"Louis said that he's better than me" I exclaimed sadly.
"That's because Louis is a man, and men always think they're better than us women" My mother exclaimed picking me up and sitting me on her lap.
"But the truth is, us women, we're more powerful than we're told. And men are scared of that. That's why they try to overpower us. But you must never give in" My mother continued as I snuggled into her.
"D-Do you think I could be powerful one day?" I asked softly.
"Oh, I believe that you will be very powerful one day" My mother chuckled, stroking the back of my hair.
"You're smart, and brave, and beautiful. That's what every man claims to want in a woman but is in fact terrified of" She explained to me.
"Now say it"
"I am smart and brave and beautiful" I repeated to her.
"Good girl, you're going to make mommy very proud one day. Now go to bed" My mother ordered soothingly.
"Good night mommy" I mumbled climbing off her.
"Wait" My mother stopped me.
"Remember?"
"There is no one more trustworthy than family" I remembered, it was something we had to repeat before we went to bed.
"Good girl, you make me so proud"
"Thank you, Mommy, good night" I smiled softly waving her goodbye.
"Good night my love" She whispered
-End of Flashback-
I know that memory seems kind of sweet and it's probably hard to understand how a woman who treated me like that could in reality be a monstrous psychopath, so let me explain.
Although I make my childhood out to be an absolute nightmare, it wasn't. It mainly was, but if I repeatedly received bad treatment from my parents, I would have probably gone completely insane.
And so there were moments when my parents would shower us in praise, and love to confuse our poor, innocent adolescent minds.
What you saw in that memory wasn't my mother showering me in actual love, but her in fact subtly brainwashing me and making me feel special even though she'd likely hit me, punch me, and call me weak hours later.
However, in my mind, that was love.
"Yeah, I guess so" I mumbled resting my head on his shoulder.
"Y/n it's ok to be sad" Spencer whispered kissing the top of my head as Derek and Emily sat opposite us. JJ and Penelope sat on the two-seater on the other side of the aisle.
"So what did you mean, you guys have been screwing for years?" Emily asked curiously.
"What do you think I meant?" I questioned keeping my eyes shut.
"You two? You and Dr. Spencer Reid have been screwing for years? Like how long?" Derek asked pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I don't know the exact date, it was some point in 2008," I murmured.
"Friday the 30th of August 2008" Spencer corrected.
"Actually I think it was Saturday at that point" his voice trailed off towards the end.
"There you go" I sighed wrapping my arm around his waist.
"You guys a fucking with us right?" JJ asked
"Nope"
"But like, come on... Seriously?" Penelope questioned.
"It's been an on and off agreement-" I retorted.
"Can we stop, this is private information, and it's making me uncomfortable talking about it" Spencer interrupted cringing terribly.
Derek and JJ chuckled, Emily giggled and Penelope laughed obnoxiously loudly, but they'd did decided to back off, but I think we can all agree that they never saw Spencer the same ever again. Well, they did, apart from when it came to Spencer's sexual life. Most assumed he didn't really have one, they all looked pretty stupid now.
"Can you stay round tonight?" I asked looking up at Spencer as the jet wheels hit the floor.
"Of course. I was planning on staying anyway. I don't want you to be alone tonight" Spencer smiled softly.
𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟷𝟺𝚝𝚑 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟶
𝟸𝟹:𝟹𝟶𝚙𝚖
𝙲𝚘𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜, 𝚆𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝙳𝙲, 𝚅𝚒𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚊
"Y/n?" Spencer whispered. I was curled into him with my arm wrapped around his waist in bed.
"Hm?" I hummed nuzzling my face deeper into the side of Spencer's neck.
"When did you realize you loved me?" He asked.
"You don't have to tell me I just-"
"The day we went to the museum" I cut in softly.
"We looked around all the artifacts then we sat in the park and ate lunch... That day, I realized that I loved you... What about you?"
"I uh- I kind of always loved you" Spencer replied.
"I know that sounds bad because I agreed to the whole friend with benefits thing knowing it was a bad idea for me, but it's true I fell in love with you the moment you began at the BAU"
"Why? I was such a bitch back then" I giggled drawing circles into his chest.
"I guess, I could see through the tough exterior" Spencer responded, combing my hair through his fingers.
"Anyway, how are you feeling now?"
"Better" I replied honestly.
"Things are going to get better now, right?"
"Yeah, they will"
And oh how I wished that response was true. Spencer thought it was true, and I wanted to believe it was, but it wasn't.
After years of struggling with multiple undiagnosed mental illnesses did you really think they'd just go because my parents are dead.
That's not how it works I'm afraid. Firstly, a lot of damage has already been done and is irreversible.
Things do get better but far, far, far in the future and by then, even more damage would have been done.
But for now, at this moment, I'd like to believe that things were looking up.
I love you" I whispered my voice slightly muffled by Spencer's neck.
"I love you too princess" Spencer whispered back, wrapping his arm around me and holding me close as we both fell into a deep sleep.
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A/n: Ahh, this is the last chapter before the epilogue!
The epilogue is kind of short btw. But this is a cute chapter. Slight angst here and there. And a few disturbing lines towards the end there to keep you on your toes. But mainly cute.