If I'd lose all my demons, I would lose all my angels . . .
***
Wang Yibo's POV
"Lu Lu?" A voice whispered in the darkness as a faint voice hummed back in response.
"Yes, A-Bp?" Someone gave a soft squeeze in my hand, holding it with warmth and care.
"I am afraid," I said, the words tumbling from my lips like they were placed on my lips to be said; I didn't even know what I was going to say next, so I waited.
"For what, Bo Bo?" The voice came from a girl; her voice was like music to my ear, soft and pleasant, featherlight.
"It's too dark, Lu Lu, aren't you afraid?" She chuckled lightly.
"But A-Bo, I am too fond of the night sky to be afraid; after all, only in the dark, the stars can shine; without darkness, how would stars shine high?" I felt my body shrug as she cuddled closer to me, her warmth against mine, comfortable.
"Lu Lu?" She hummed sleepily.
I kept quiet, and in the end, we both fell asleep.
But suddenly, the scenery changed.
I was standing on a playground, and when I looked around, I saw three kids, their back facing me.
My eyes caught one of the kids faces when he turned around; it was the younger version of me.
My legs started walking towards the kids, but it was like they didn't see me, as if I was a ghost.
One kid was me, the other was Zhoucheng, and there was this other young girl, looking a year or two older than us, who had an angelic smile as she talked though I did not hear what she said.
She held up an ok sign to the younger Zhoucheng and me, causing me to frown as I looked around on the playground; there was no one else except the four of us, yet something felt wrong.
Then it hit in, the letter of my mom, the playground, the younger version of Zhoucheng, me and . . . Xuan Lu?
I turned around in my ashes when I realized I had lost Xuan Lu from my eyes; looking around, she was nowhere to get seen, but Zhoucheng and I were still playing on the swing set, careless of what was happening.
Before I understood what happened, I was running, my legs carrying me over the grass as I walked towards the most nearby building on my instinct, calling out for Xuan Lu.
But of course, she couldn't hear me, neither could anyone see me, as the people I passed just went through me like I was air.
"Xuan Lu!" I screamed, but not heard as my heartbeat like a madman when I turned around it was as if the world was spinning under my feet, she was nowhere to be fou-
"Aaaahh!" Turning around, I saw someone dragging Xuan Lu away, a towel against her mouth as her eyes fluttered with pain; I ran towards her, trying to pull the man in black away from her, but it was impossible, I went right through him.
I screamed, pulled and cried, but nothing helped; I couldn't do anything other than watching her getting dragged away, and I quickly touched her hand; and whispered, "Sorry."
For a mere second, it was as if her eyes fluttered before she was dragged away into a car that immediately started driving away. I ran after it until it was nothing more than a black dot on the horizon.
I squatted down on the ground, burying my face into my lap as I felt tears trickling down my face, so that's what happened that day.
Somewhere in the background, I could hear my younger version talk and laugh without having any seeming idea what just happened; the real monsters were indeed living under us.
Before I got the chance to grieve more, once again, the world under my feet started to move, and the scenery in front of my eyes changed to another setting, one I got way too familiar with these days; it was Zhan's house, but at the same time, it was not.
The house looked older, more ancient, unlike the modern setting Zhan had made it off, but this time, the atmosphere inside the place was deadly quiet and cut like a knife through my soul as I felt goosebumps all over my body.
When I turned around, I saw Zhan standing there, across the living room, and as I looked into his eyes, I suddenly felt reassured.
He looked innocent, blinking at me, the gentleness in his eyes like a pure white coat that covered all my worries.
The sadness in my heart healed a bit, warming my heart little by little as I looked at Zhan, the Zhan I knew, his eyes staring into mine, and as I looked at him, I tried to find a word to describe him, but I realized it wasn't enough.
And at that moment, I wished I was able to look into his eyes forever; even if I had the dumbest expression on my face, I reached out my arms for his embrace.
He walked closer to me, his eyes smiling towards me as he ran into my hug, I embraced him, and we stood there; in the quiet room as he swiftly whispered something into my ear.
"I love you," he whispered with his silky voice I fell in love with as my heart stopped beating for a second., but as I was about to respond once again, his warmth faded away, it was gone, and once again, the landscape changed, and this time, I stood at the edge of an abyss.
When I looked into the abyss, all I saw was darkness, so I looked up, and near me I saw someone, a short slim looking maiden with an oval face and a sharp chin, wearing beggers clothes with a small wooden pin with a carved fox decoration in her hair, but all those details didn't matter the thing which immediately caught my attention where here pupils.
White eyes giving her an appearance as she was blind, but something about her wasn't quite right.
She looked so serene while her eyes told a different story before my mind clicked together with the puzzle pieces; she looked like Miss Chen.
She held a bamboo stick in one of her hands, hitting the ground with it when her eyes looked into mine, but after I blinked, her eyes seemed dazed again, was it my imagination, after all?
Slowly she walked closer to me, and I hear she was chanting words under her breath, they were too faint to catch, so I listened carefully.
Her bamboo stick kept ticking in a rhythm on the ground while her steps seemingly quickened; the closer she came, the softer she spoke, and when the young maiden finally stood in front of me, she looked up.
Her eyes were clear like crystals, "you should wake up before it's too late." Her voice was just the same as Miss Chen's; her eyes only carried something.
A feeling I couldn't quite pinpoint like I was looking into a pool of sadness with so much expression it seemed like she was going to break any moment.
"Wha-" the clicking of her bamboo stick on the ground cut me off, she walked past me, a brush of air passing me, her eyes catching mine, but this time they were glassy again, reminding me of those porcelain dolls.
She was just one of them, so perfect but surreal and broken.
While I watched her walk further and further away, carrying the sound of her bamboo stick, I abruptly felt another presence, but even before I could turn around, I felt a pair of hands in my back, pushing me forward in one breath.
My legs stumbled while I had no grip to stand, and I felt how my body moved forwards, right into that endless black hole of an abyss.
I fell into the abyss, a piercing scream leaving my mouth as I wasn't able to see the face of the person who pushed me, but I heard the quiet clicking of the bamboo stick fading away.
***
"ZHAN!" His name escaped my mouth as I woke up, sweat dripping from my forehead as I tumbling to one side of the bed, my hands searching over the bed only to find the emptiness of long-gone warmth, my eyes slowly opened after with a soft flutter.
I glanced at the clock, 11 am, after that, I noticed the green sticky note on the bedside table which had messy handwriting of Yibo's that said: will be back asap, getting some medicines for you, don't forget to eat!
Unconsciously smiling at the note, I felt something warm blossoming inside my chest; blushing slightly, I hid my face into the blanket, giggling like an idiot in the early morning.
When I finished my stupid giggling, I stood up, my toes touching the soft carpet that tickled my feet.
I turned my head around, letting my eyes wander around the room; it was simple but beautiful and clean, with quite some books, a neat desk and no pictures, and his skateboard.
Yawning, I wrapped the blanket around me, placing a hand on my forehead; I felt the fever slightly had gone down, so I walked downstairs only to see breakfast there.
Zhan was considerate; it made a smile blossom onto my lips as I quickly sat down to eat the still warm breakfast; only the smell alone invading my nose thrills made my mouth water already.
Quickly digging into my food, I read some news on my phone; once again, there were some new cases of the X suicide pills over the space scarred; people were so careless.
I mean, when I received the bottle, I basically didn't even know that X organisation even existed in the first place, but now I seemed to be into the cobweb taken into it, with no way out until we have solved everything.
Sighing deeply, I ended my delicious breakfast; placing my phone away with my playlist on shuffle, I went to clean the dishes, humming on the soft music.
When I finished the dishes, I was about to walk back to my room, but I fell onto my knees, gripping,y heart as if I was a shortcut on breath, my head feeling dazed slightly, I tried to grasp for air, it was as if I got chocked by someone again.
I kept gasping and grasping, my heart badly aching like it was on fire while I shut my eyes tightly, trying to breathe steadily.
The pain was like millions of needles pricking into my heart at the same time, causing it to bleed by small bits; it was paining as I made a fist of my hand at my heart, trying to soothe myself.
I had never felt something like this before as I felt my mind getting clouded, like an out of body experience, I knew what was happening, but it was like I was watching myself from afar.
You could compare it to when watching an old black-white movie of yourself, you know it's you, and you feel it, but you can't do anything, that was it, the pain was cutting so deep, and it bled painfully.
Trying to stand up with the pain was impossible, so I just made myself into a small cocoon of a ball, no tears coming up, but the pain engraved like it was slowly killing me from inside out.
I puffed air out as the pain slowly subsided, and within a few seconds, it was gone as fast as it came, and my hands fell on the ground, gripping onto the blanket, my head falling on the soft blanket too.
My body was drained, and although the physical pain was gone from my body, I still felt the aching that was left; no pain in my whole life could have been compared to that, and even though it stopped, it didn't felt better.
It even felt worse; at the moment, there was no physical pain, but mentally I felt something missing, something was wrong, the alarm bells inside my mind were ringing, but I didn't understand what was happening as everything felt like a dreamy daze of pain.
And when everything subsided and faded into the background, only one thing came to my mind.
Zhan.
Word count: 2129 words