~Jesse's perspective~
The hospital smells like cleaning products, the white on the walls almost blinding me. I keep looking at the blue floor.
"Jesse!"
I look up and almost feel relieved, but then I remember: twins.
"Hey, how is she?"
"She's stable..."
There she is. Her beautiful face is bruised, cuts ruining the soft skin she always takes such good care of.
"Oh my god..."
I want to walk towards her, I want to make sure it's really her or....I don't know what I want, but it feels like I should go to her. But I remember the man sitting in my house, wrapped in a blanket. I carefully move around to the other corner, making sure I'm not too close.
"Where are the kids?"
"My husband is taking care of them, but they'll come over soon."
"I could take them for the night if it's too much trouble..."
"Well, taking in my nephews isn't that much trouble.... but I suppose you are their father and you haven't seen them in a while so..."
She gets distracted by her sister, I look back at the floor. I will see my kids again. I truly missed them, missed the enthusiastic energy that I'm used to getting home to. I missed hearing their laughter as I'm cooking. I miss tearing them apart while watching television. I miss their smiles as they show me what they learned or did today... But I don't know if it will be the same without her.
I try to shake off the thought. I don't dare to look at her, Rob taking over my thoughts. I shouldn't be here. But I had to, my kids need me. And you can't just not show up when someone who you love is in the hospital. On the other hand, I'm kind of with Rob now, and he isn't here to support me. Even though I'm not looking at her face I still see it. It finally reflects the hurt on the inside. I'm so lost in thought that I don't hear the footsteps until I hear the voice I started to hate over the last few days.
"Oh my.."
I look up and I see him, Jonathan. A wave of hate runs through me when he has the guts to move closer.
"What are you doing here?"
He stops and turns around, apparently he didn't notice me when he first walked in. He looks me up and down with a scornful glance.
"What are you doing here?"
"I asked you first."
"Well I'm currently... romantically involved with Jolein-"
"Jolein never mentioned anybody." the owner of the voice now standing protectively next to her sister, blocking his view of her.
I smile at her, happy she backs me up.
"Well I-"
"When was the last time you two talked?"
"Almost a week ago but-"
"But you work together right?"
"Well, yes but she was busy working. And I am more recent than him."
I don't know how to answer that. I loved her longer? No, my brain can not think of a valid reason why it should be me and not him. Jolein does it for me, as she always does. She always has my back. A soft whisper
"Jesse..."
My feet automatically move towards her, my hand finding hers in an automated response.
"Jolein?"
I just feel her hand tighten a little bit. It was so weak I could've missed it.
"Well, that clears it. Out."
I don't bother looking back. Even after we fell apart she still reaches for me. My eyes move across her face, searching for a sign of life. My ears listening intently, hoping to hear her say it again.
"She did mention him."
I get snapped back into reality. I'm holding my ex-wife's hand. I let go and take a step back, guilt washing over me as I think of Rob wrapped into a blanket and wearing my hoodie in my house.
"She did?"
"Yeah, she said he was a manipulative asshole who took advantage of her weakness, so I don't suppose she wanted him to be here."
"And she does want me to be here?"
"You're the asshole she put up with for over 10 years so I suppose you can pass."
I chuckle and look back at her face. My smile disappears.
"Why did it happen?"
"I don't know. The last few days she did seem a bit... distracted. She said she was going to work, but apparently she took the car for a drive around the country..."
I don't even hear the last part. She seemed a bit distracted. I feel my head become lighter, the air not flowing into my lungs as it should. She seemed a bit distracted. The last few days. Was this my fault?
The last few days. What does she mean with a few days? Could it mean, since the day she saw me? Since the day I danced with Rob? Am I to blame for her bruised face? My heart starts to race, I feel sweat coming through my skin. I need to get away from her.
"I'm just gonna- air..."
She doesn't even hear me, all her attention is on her sister.
I should call Rob. I need to tell him what happened. Yes! I pat my pockets. Did I really forget my phone? I go over my departure. I was talking on the phone, Rob asked me if he should come with me... and I told him no. Lucky, otherwise he would've seen me holding her hand... Okay, go back. He asked me to take him with me, and I put my phone on the table. Fuck. I rub the bridge of my nose. My ex-wife's in the hospital, possibly because of me! If there's a national emergency I can't be reached... I could've lost my job already and wouldn't even know it! And I left Rob at my house and told him to lock the door on his way out. While going to my ex wife! What kind of man does that?
~Rob's perspective~
What kind of man leaves his so called boyfriend at his own house while going to the hospital to visit his ex wife? I grab my coat from the coat hanger. I look the bowl where his keys lie. Great, now I have to figure out how to lock someone else's door. I reach out when I suddenly see his phone. He forgot his phone. I check if he had any notifications, luckily there's nothing. His work phone is lying next to the bowl. No notifications as well. I need to bring him his phone. Where did he go again? Bronovo? No, that closed down... that stupid economising. Focus! Okay remember, he was talking on the phone and he said.... Haga? That could be it! I don't know hospitals in The Hague. Okay, let's go with Haga. I check to see if I left anything behind. No? No, okay I'll go and help my... boyfriend, I guess.
I walk straight to the counter as soon as I get in.
"Are there visitors for Jolein uhh Klaver?"
"It is visiting hour, and I did see mister Klaver walking in. It's in that room there."
"Alright thank you! He left his phone behind you see..."
"Right."
I follow her hand to the hallway where she's supposed to be staying. Real smooth with the receptionist, definitely won't suspect ANYTHING at all. If I just go in and out it won't be suspicious right? That will show her. I'm almost at the room when a man comes out, his face in utter shock and anger. I recognize his face, but don't remember a name. He storms past me as I walk faster to the room. I pop my head and want to speak, but the words are stuck in my throat. I see Jolein, beautiful Jolein, now with a bruised eye. I see her twin sister holding her right hand, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. And I see Jesse, holding her left hand, an all too familiar look in his eyes. His eyes are full of love and affection as they move across her face, the same look he had when he took care of my leg, the same look that he had that night I came over and his son showed him a drawing he made.
I silently place the two phones on the table at the entrance and turn around to leave. He didn't even notice me being there. My eyes start to burn, the water trying to extinguish the fire behind them. I hold them back until I'm in my car when I finally let them do their job. The salt burns on my skin, making my entire face burn.
~Jesse's perspective~
I get back into the room. I'll need to excuse myself so I can get my phone. But when I get into the room I suddenly see my two phones lying there, on the small table. But I didn't-
And then, I smell it, smell him. The little whiff enough to make me dizzy. He was here! But why didn't he stay? Why didn't he say anything?
I can only think of one explanation. Fuck.