chapter four
AN UNFORTUNATE
MEMORY
Marianne was always kind. Well, 'always' is an exaggeration. Most of the time. She is the only light that glows brightly in my memories.
She taught me everything from letters to survival skills. I don't think I would have turned out alright if she wasn't there. Her once soft, silky hair and affectionate twinkling eyes are still engraved deep in my mind, despite how many years it has been.
She was always kind hearted and open to my curiosity, even if it got a bit sickening.
Was she only nice because it was her duty or did she truly mean it?
She always made me feel safe. I was safe as it was a tall tower secured with magic, but the way she made me feel comfort and happiness was different.
I always thought of her as family. I used to think she was my mother up until I grew old enough to understand she was just a nanny.
Did she think of me as family? How is she right now? Will I...ever know?
Will I?
I don't think so.
Because on one unfortunate evening, as the clock struck midnight, I realised Marianne had ran away.
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"Oh my lady, please wake up!"
My eyes slowly opened, my head heavy and pounding. I heard Celenne let out a relieved breath.
"Your Highness! You're awake!" Celenne found comfort in her handkerchief.
"Is the princess alright?" I heard an extra voice near the entrance of the room. Dark hair, dark eyes. "Please summon the palace physician right away if you need to. The Eastern Empire's guests should be healthy and well in our care."
"Of course. Thank you for worrying, Your Majesty." Heinrey answered in my place.
"It's nothing severe, just a loss of balance. Although she needs plenty of rest and water." The physician stated, standing beside my bed.
"I see, I will take better care of her in the future." Heinrey smiled and led the physician and His Majesty out.
"Princess, are you feeling alright?" Celenne turned to me, her brows furrowed in concern.
I sat up in my bed, taking a few seconds to recover. "I'm okay, my head's just aching."
"Would you like some water?"
"Yes please."
As I finished my glass of water, Heinrey came back in. This time, by himself. "Go and fetch something from the kitchen. I would like to have a conversation with the princess." He gestured at Celenne.
"As you wish, Your Highness." She walked off, outside of the room, leaving me alone with my brother.
"Did you get what you wished for?"
"What..?" He was confusing me.
"I think you attracted enough attention that even the emperor came rushing."
"Are you trying to say that I fainted on purpose?" I never wanted the emperor to come and visit me. Nor did I wish for the physician to be summoned, or to faint.
"Are you saying that I am wrong?"
"I never meant to–"
"It doesn't matter. Just stay put from now on." He refused to listen to me and left the room.
I didn't know why he was so angry. Celenne had stayed.
I listened to the door shut. I also listened to the final chirps of the birds, and the creaks of the bed whenever I tossed and turned.
All these flowers, birds and people were in the palace. Yet for some reason, I still felt alone.
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The sun had set and I'd already eaten. While I was patiently waiting for it to be morning to that I could see the flowers glow in daylight, I decided to take a walk. Maybe that would clear my head.
As I wandered around, I spotted a group of orange chrysanthemums. Although it wasn't my favourite kind of flower out of the bunch, it still looked much better than the paintings.
"They're gorgeous, aren't they?" His Majesty, the emperor walked slowly towards me, a silk white tie wrapped around his neck.
"Are you talking to me?" I stood up straight and craned my neck to see if there was anyone else behind me.
"Of course. Is there anyone else around?" He lightly chuckled.
"Well now that I checked, no."
He kept his eyes on me, and I began sweating trying to avoid them. The air was awkward and stiff. So was I.
I felt bad for thinking this, but I wanted to leave. "It was nice talk–"
"Are chrysanthemums your favourite?" He lightly flinched after accidentally cutting me off.
"No, not really, Your Majesty."
"Oh I see. Then, do you happen to know the meaning of them? I would like to gift some to someone special."
"Of course. Chrysanthemums have a lot of meanings and most are positive. The most well known ones are joy and optimism."
"Joy? That is perfect for her, thank you."
"It's no problem." I nodded. Was he planning on sending the empress some? They must be treating each other well.
"Look at the time, I should leave.." I checked the non-existent clock. "I mean..If you allow me, I will take my leave. Goodbye."
As I looked back while walking away, I saw the emperor fawning over the chrysanthemums, thinking of a way to gift them.
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"Princess, what are you reading?" Marianne crouched next to the young girl who had her head stuck in pages.
"I found a book about botany."
"Do you like it?"
"Yes, it's interesting!" The little girl showed off her teeth as she flashed a smile.
Marianne laughed. "It seems like you are starting to become fond of flowers and plants. What's your favourite flower?"
The girl answered simply: "Gardenias."
The girl who was sheltered all her life had never felt the touch of a daisy's petal, or a rose's thorn. She never questioned it out loud, afraid of whatever truth might come out of her nanny's mouth.
"You like Gardenias? Why?"
She slowly nodded, not bothering to meet her guardian's irises. "That's a secret."
The morning light slithered through the window, brightening up the room.
She sighed. "If only I could see them with my own eyes."
The woman sympathised with the young girl, but she couldn't do anything about it.
After all, it wasn't only the princess who was stuck in a cage, but the wise viscount's daughter, Lady Marianne, too.
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"Who are you?"
Two large black eyes and radiant silver strands of hair clinging to her shoulders. She looked like a fairy.
"No, who are you?" I replied.
"Rashta! My name's Rashta." Her skin glowed under the sun's rays.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Princess Y/n of the Western Kingdom."
"Oh, a princess!" She leaned in, her eyes twinkling. "Rashta thinks you're cool."
Was she used to referring to herself in third person?
"Thank you. Are you also a princess?" I took a step back. I wasn't used to strangers being that close to me.
She took a moment to put her finger on her chin and think. "Hmm, something like that!"