BUSANI.
I had always dreamt of this moment to be find my father and twin brother but it feels surreal like I am dreaming. They are a close knit family and they trust each other with their lives. I have never seen something like this in my life. Even thought I grew up with my uncle and his family, we never had this kind of closeness, this love and trust in the family. Everyone just live their lives they way they wish without the others knowing what's really going on in your life.
I have been watching and studying all of them and they are all in sync despite all the problems that we are having. I keep waiting to find if they are somehow jealous of each other in anyway but there isn't jealousy amongst them and that makes me fell jealous because I am the odd mad out. I don't have that bond with them and have their trust. These are my brothers and I’m supposed to have that brotherly bond with them but I don't. I will though. I will be part of them and they will trust me.
Zipho is drinking coffee and I am drinking whiskey we are both lost in our own thoughts. He's been quiet ever since we saw our dad and his mom who looked like a mess. I wish I felt sorry for her but I'm not. I hate that woman and the conversation gogo wants us to have is never going to happen. I know I said I forgive her but deep down I don't. I want her to feel the pain my mother felt all those years ago and even worse. She was playing happy family with my family that she stole from us and now she says she's sorry and that gogo tells everyone to just forgive her?. Well not on my watch.
" I'm going to bed. Night bro." we fist bump then he leaves me. My mom comes in after a few minutes and pours herself a glass too then gulps it down and sits after she another one.
" Where's your father?."
" He's with her." she scoffs and shakes her head.
" Why won't she leave him alone?. I am here now aren't I?."
" She just wants his attention and for everyone to feel sorry for her."
" selfish bitch. I just don't understand why isn't she giving us some space to figure things out."
" You've been sleeping with him mother since you got here. Despite what she did, dad still loves her."
" Don't say that!." she looks around to see if anyone doesn't hear us." Don't tell me that crap. She tried to kill us, stole my child and husband!. All of this was supposed to be mine. This was supposed to be my family but that bitch is enjoying everything. She will pay!."
" calm down. You don't want anyone to hear you."
" I want her to feel the pain I felt. I am going to take everything away from her and that is my husband and family."
" you said dad is going to pay lobola for the two of you right and you'll be his second wife and sebe told you that she won't stand in your way. Shouldn't that be enough?."
" hell no!. She has to be out of the picture permanently. I will not share my husband with her. Ever!."
" I know you want revenge, so do I but getting her out of the picture permanently will raise suspicion and the fingers will point back to you."
" Not if we frame someone who wants her out of the picture like us."
" uncle fanele mother! hell no. He will tell everyone about our plan."
" Not him busani but her boys. One of them." she has lost her damn mind!.
" Fuck No!. You will not frame my brothers mother!. You better get that though out of your mind."
" You have just known them for five minutes. You don't owe them anything. I am your mother and we are both victims here. Did you not promise me that we get revenge?."
" yes I did. Get revenge on her but not my brothers mother no!." what is she thinking.
" Why do you suddenly want to change our plan?. The three of us discussed it and agreed but now you want to drag my brothers in this?. Do you want mbuso to kill us mother!."
" He's my son. He will understand and he won't kill us."
" mother have you actually watched your son like really studied him cause if you did?. You will know that mbuso is fucken scary and he's very protective of his family. Our brothers and his mother, your sister."
" He's pretending with her I know. There's no way he still loves her after he found out what he did. He will side with us."
" I don't know mother. This is a bad idea. Maybe we should just let karma deal with her. I don't want to lose the family I have just found."
" Stop being a baby busani. We are sticking with the plan since you refuse to frame one of them."
" They are your boys too mother."
" No, they are hers not mine. Mbuso is only mine."
" Well they are my brothers and I'm not doing anything to hurt them. I want their mother dead and that's going to hurt them but I won't frame them."
" Look at you suddenly feeling the brotherly love for them. I wonder if they will be protective of you like you are on them."
" I know they will mother because they told me." she shakes her head.
" Open your eyes busani. My own sister betrayed me so what makes you think they won't betray you huh?."
" They won't cause I'm the one who's about to betray them and they can never know it is me."
" Well I want the bitch dead. She stole my life, my everything and now I'm going to get revenge on her. She's not getting away with it."
" Aren't you scared of that gogo? That she'll see right through you and me?."
" Oh bloody hell. Don't tell me about her. It will be her word against ours." This is a bad idea.
" Are you planning on staying here forever?."
" I am once I claim my family back."
" what about Eric mother!. You're still married to him."
" shush!. They might hear you. I was talking to my lawyer and I asked him to send Eric divorce papers." what?
" really?. You are going forget about him just like that?. You are going to divorce a man who loves you for a man who might not love you. You also don't love my father mother!."
" It doesn't matter. He also betrayed me in a way and who cares about us loving each other?. I don't want them to be together. Period!."
" Since we've been here mother I'm seeing another side of you that I didn't know existed. What about my sister?. Where does she fit in all this and are you going to mbuso that he has a little sister in the U.K?."
" I am going to tell him when the time is right. After all the ceremonies have been done."
" what if he already knows about Angela?. What if mbuyi or Mabutho told him about her?."
" I specifically told them to not say anything. I will tell my family myself."
This whole thing is stressing me out and now I don't know what to do. Yes I want revenge on my aunt but the other side of me is scared of what the consequences might be. I seriously don't want to lose my new family and hurt my brothers. Is this revenge even worth everything?. I know my mother is set dead against getting her revenge and a part of it is my uncles doing. He's the who came up with this idea and at that time emotions were still high after seeing my aunt for the first time and we agreed but now I'm not so sure.
Sicelo warned me that if I do anything to hurt her sister's family or his brothers in anyway he will kill me and I believed him. He also told me that mbuso loves his sister more than anything or anyone and that includes my mother, aunt and his brothers. I believe him too and wanting to go against him might not be a good idea. I don't know how they operate but there's just something scary about all of them.
" What about you?." she asks.
" What?."
" Are you going back after everything?."
" Nope I resigned from work. I am moving back here. I need to find a house in Durban too cause that's where they all live. I want something close so I can always see the twins and spend as much time with all of them as possible." she nods.
" and your partner?."
" I haven't said anything. I will talk to her and explain things, maybe she might move with me."
" Plus she's classy and beautiful. She might teach all of the woman here a thing or two about class. It makes you wonder if luh really isn't after mbuso's money."
" They have class mother. They just don't flash their money on everyone's faces. Luh's family is wealthy mother I searched them. Between her money and mbuso's money those two are fucken billionaires. This thing of uncle and you accusing her is not right. She's your daughter in-law so please mother behave."
" Don't forget the plan. We are taking out that bitch once and for all. I will do that with or without your help even if it means I have to split this family apart so I build it again then I will. I will get my revenge on her. Are you in or out!."
" Of course I'm in!."
We hear a glass breaking in the kitchen and my blood runs cold. We look at each other scared. Who the fuck is there and did they hear anything?. Oh God we are screwed!.
I get up and walk to the kitchen and see someone crouching down picking up pieces. I switch pn the light and see Zipho's girlfriend. Fuck!. How did she come in the kitchen?.
" Hey are you okay?."
" oh hey. I'm fine...." she yawns. " .....I wanted some water but the glass slipped and fell. I'm sorry did I wake you?." what?
" uhm no. I wanted a glass of water too." she sweeps the floor and throws the glasses on the bin. " I didn't hear you come in though?."
" I used the other entrance leading to the kitchen why?." she yawns again and she sounds so sleepy.
" I was just asking. I thought I heard voices of people talking. Did you hear the too?." she looks at me and frowns.
" no I didn't. You think someone broke in?."
" No there's security outside. Maybe it was them."
" Yeah I guess." she takes another glass and pours milk. " Well good night then."
" good night." she walks away. Whew I guess she didn't hear us.
" Well did she hear us?." My mother comes in.
" No she didn't. She's half asleep."
" Ok good. we can't risk people knowing our plan."
" mother...."
" No busani. We are doing it. You're uncle is going to bring the stuff."
" I'm going to bed."
" Night son." I walk to the bedroom, the housekeeper showed me.
After shower I get in bed and take my phone and call.
" O wow, you still remember me."
" Of course I do Alice. How are you?."
" How am I?. You tell me you have something has come up and you have to fly down to south Africa and then I don't hear from you for days?. Well I'm fucken fine Jason." I sigh.
" I'm sorry baby I will explain to you once everything has settled."
" When is that going to be Jason?. When they have found you a South African wife?."
"You're being ridiculous now Alice. You know I love you baby."
" Then come back home. "
" I can't right now. Things are still hectic and I promise we will talk when everything has settled baby please understand."
" Is being there important to you more than us?."
" It is but that doesn’t mean you are less important to me."
"Then why haven't you shown commitment to me Jason?. We have been together for three years now and you still haven't said anything about our future why is that?."
" You know very well that I couldn't do that because I still had to find my family. I did find them and we are still trying to fix things. We both agreed that we won't put any pressure on our relationship but you have been failing to keep your end of the bargain."
" I know we did but you being so far away is hard and it might just create some problems between us." what?
" what do you mean?."
" exactly that."
" I don't have time for this. I love you night." I hang up and sigh.
I don't know what is holding me back from marrying her but every time I think about it I just get freaked out and so I have just ran away from any conversation leading up to it.
It's the next day and I feel exhausted. I shower then go to the kitchen and the house smells wonderful. I get in and see it's only my aunt in there. I almost turn but I remember gogo said we have to talk and I guess this is the time.
" Good morning aunty."
" Good morning busani. Did you sleep well?."
" I did and you?."
" I did too." she gives me a faint smile. She doesn't look like someone who slept well but had no sleep at all. I smile inside cause as the bible says ' there's no rest for the wicked.'
" You want some coffee?." she asks
" Yes please but I'll make it."
" It's just coffee busani. Sit down and I'll make it." I look at her. "I wont poison you if that's what you're thinking." I was thinking that.
" I wasn't thinking that. I can see that you're busy so..."
" so sit." I sigh and sit. I watch everything she does and yes she didn't poison me. " Here is your coffee and biscuits."
" thank you." she sits down too.
" I'm sorry for everything busani and I know that no matter how many times I apologize that won't fix things but I hope one day you will be able to forgive me."
" We're you that jealous of my mother that you decided that you were going to kill her and me?."
" Yes I was jealous and I wish I could have done things different but I let my jealousy cloud my judgement and that is no excuse for what I did."
" Were you ever going to tell my father and brother what you did?."
" No I wasn't. I was going to die with that secret."
" At least you're not lying to my face. I wish I can forgive you but I just hate you. Every time I see you with my brothers and father, I see the family you robbed my mother and I of and my heart gets filled with hate." she nods.
" I understand busani and I don't hold that against you. I asked your father for a divorce so he can be with your mother but he refused. I want you to know that I will not stand in their way from the relationship they are already forming again."
" I can help you find a lawyer who can help you draft divorce papers."
" I did that and he tore them apart." so he still wants to be married to her?.
" what does that mean for him and my mother?."
" You should ask him that but on my side and I know it doesn't matter what I think but I think they should get married and finally have their happily ever after." maybe it would have worked if my mother wasn't married to another man or maybe it will since she wants to divorce him.
" So it won't bother you when you see them together like that?."
" I have seen them busani and your father was never really mine to begin with. He's now with the person he was meant to be with." I keep quiet. " I hope you can be in the same room as me without wanting to turn and walk away. This is your family and you have every right to be here too."
" I know and who knows. All of this could have been mine." I look around mbuso's house and She frowns. " I mean maybe my life could have turned the same way his did. I think growing up in the same house with both your parents around can have a very positive impact in your life."
" I'm sorry busani."
" Stop with your apologies because they don't mean nothing to me!. They are just words!."
" what would you like me to do so then because I'm willing to do anything?."
" Be gone. Leave this country. Leave this continent and let us move on with our lives without you." she looks at me shocked and scared.
" Is that what will make your mother and you happy?."
" Yes. I can set it all up. No one has to know. I'll send you pictures of your grandkids so you watch them from afar growing up." she tears up. She wipes her eyes and looks at me.
" and if I don't go?. Are you going to kill me?."
" That depends on you. If you don't go I will have no choice but to kill you."
" and you think you'll get away with it?."
" I know I can and I will." she shakes her head and I see a ghost smile.
" I will go after the ceremonies are done. I promise." smart woman.
" I'll set it up."
" No I have already got it covered. I don't want anyone to know where I'll be living and I promise I'll leave the continent cause that's what I want too."
" I'm glad we understand each other. Deal?."
" Deal." we shake hands.
" I know you hate me and there's so much anger inside you for me but son. I hope you don't let your mother's anger towards me cloud your judgement and make you do something that you will regret. You see all your brothers busani they love, protect and will do anything for each other and that includes you now. Don't let them feel like they can't trust you and my advise for you is don't ever betray them. No matter what happens in the future. Don't be their enemy but be a brother to them and you'll see what love is because all of them including their wives will love you too and protect you. Think about that."
I feel she is threatening me or warning me about all of them but I don't care. The only thing I know is she has to be gone. I now have to talk to mom and uncle Fanele about the deal my aunt and I just made and convince them that we should ditch the idea they came with and go with my plan.
My dad walks in not looking happy at all.
" Good morning." He brushes my head and goes to kiss my aunt but she walks out of the kitchen and my mom walks in looking so happy.
" My two favourite people." she kisses me and my dad on the mouth. I shake my head. She forgot about her husband the moment she saw him. I wonder how will he feel when he finally knows that she's married and the both of them are cheating on their partners. I shake my head.