OH WHAT A FOOL
3 WEEKS LATER
"have you seen mike?" el asks lucas as he shakes his head, "he's probably just late. why, you're sad your boyfriend isn't at school?" he fakes a pout.
she shoves him lightly, "no, he promised me he'll meet me at my locker this morning but he didn't show. plus he was acting weird all of yesterday." she shrugs softly.
"i'm sure he's fine. call him." he suggests.
"oh wow, i was so dumb that i didn't even think of calling him. what a smart idea." she says sarcastically as he laughs, "yeah it is."
"okay but what if he got into a car crash? or someone kidnapped him? or robbed him!" she starts listing possibilities of things that might have happened to him.
"calm the hell down, mike is always late." he says, "now i'm going to sleep, wake me when class is over."
"you're sleeping? we have a test next lesson." she says.
"dustin or you could help me. now goodnight." he smacks his head down on the table with a loud bang as she chuckles.
secretly, she takes out her phone under the table and texts mike though she has already texted him all morning.
el: you okay? you can't just ignore me, you know.
no response.
el: r u dying? i thought we were building something here. where u don't ignore me??
no response again.
el: ok then. ignore me.
she sighs quietly, fiddling around with her fingers as she finally pays attention to the teacher.
//
"el? you know, in order to eat the food, you're supposed to put it in your mouth and not stare at it." will says.
she looks up and gives him a small smile before putting some of the mac and cheese in her mouth.
"oh ew." max suddenly gags as everyone turns to her, "what?" will asks.
"i never knew he could go so fucking low. i mean, yes he's a fucking manwhore but kylie!?" max points to the entrance of the cafeteria as they look up.
there mike was, walking in with kylie, both with messy hair and clothes and smudged lipstick at the side of their lips.
catching el's gaze, kylie blows her a kiss and gives her a wave by the fingers and walks off to her table as mike walks to theirs.
el bites down on her bottom lip to refrain herself from expressing any emotion.
the party knew mike and el has started to hang out a lot but they only assumed they were best friends and not friends that kiss and maybe have feelings for each other.
but all the feelings el feels towards mike is now squashed away. it took her a while to figure it out and after she did, after understanding she likes him and how he said he wouldn't hurt her, he does the exact opposite.
oh, how dumb of her.
mike sits down in the seat next to el's as el moves away a bit but only mike, himself, notices.
"really? kylie?" lucas asks him as he shrugs.
el sucks in a shaky breath and stuffs her mouth full of mac and cheese to stop the tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes.
how could he act so calm right now? how could he act as if nothing has happened?
after telling her that he has to figure out his feelings so they should hang out more, he does this.
the way he was acting got el mad. sad and mad at the same time. of course, he went to someone else. she would never live up to the girls in this school.
"you still have lipstick on you." dustin points out as mike smudges the side of her lips.
el then takes a deep breath, "you know what, i forgot that i had to return a book. it's overdue." she stands up and grabs her stuff, "have my leftovers. i'm full anyways." she hands dustin her leftovers as he smiles widely at her, "thank you!"
she fakes a weak smile back and walks out of the cafeteria quickly, hoping he wouldn't come running after her.
her smile drops quickly and she runs a hand through her hair and walks to the closest bathroom to calm down.
walking to the back wall she covers her ears and drops her bag to the floor.
what a fool. she really thought he wouldn't hurt her like he promised. she really thought he wouldn't use her for pleasure.
what a fucking fool.
right when she thought she meant something to him, he only thought of her as another toy to play with then to throw away.
right when she found someone that relates to her and made her feel happy and special, he only made her think he felt the same way.
right when her nightmares and hallucinations were all stopping, he decided to hurt her this way.
she told herself he would do so but he made it seem like it was all real. it is her fault, really. she shouldn't have trusted him.
yeah you fucking shouldn't have.
she presses down on her ears tighter as if it would block away the voices but it only got louder. sitting down on the ground, she brings her knees to her chest and muffled her sobs against it.
you crybaby, you knew he would hurt you yet you still associated yourself with him. this is on you.
your pain is on you.
"shut up! please, go away. papa, go away." she sobs.
yes, the voice in her head was the voice of brenner just to make things even worse for her.
and sometimes she could even see him.
she knew deep down he wasn't there. she knew, but everything seemed so real.
so was she dreaming or was this actually all happening?
this is happening! get your act together!
all you do is cry, he would never want someone like you. look at you, you're filthy and disgusting. who would want you?
you would be better off dead.
letting out a loud scream, she clutches onto her hears tightly, almost drawing blood even as all the glass around her breaks and shatters onto the ground.
like before, her powers has acted out due to her emotions and due to her not using her powers this intensely in a long time she started to feel drained once again.
just exactly how she felt back at the lab.
closing her eyes, her body grows limp and she drops down to her side onto the floor as she finally loses conscious.
//
fluttering her eyes open, el slowly looks around the unfamiliar room until her eyes land on a lady in the room, writing on a clipboard.
"oh, you're awake. you're in the nurse, dear." she smiles at her as she helps el sit up on the bed.
"what happened? how did i get here?" el asks tiredly as her eyes trail down without even noticing.
"the janitor found you. you passed out for an hour now, i called your mother and i think some of your friends are outside when they came finding you." the nurse tells her.
"oh." el whispers, "c-can i get some water?"
"oh, of course." the nurse smiles and pours her a glass of water.
el slowly drinks it as her eyes start to shut again. she sighs quietly, "can i sleep till my mom comes?"
"yes of course but since you just came out of a small coma, you need to recharge your energy a bit first. sleep in a few minutes, in the mean time, would you like me to tell you friends to come in if they're still there?" the nurse suggests as she nods.
the nurse then goes to open the door as el leans back against the bed, playing around with her fingers to keep herself awake.
"holy fuck, el." will rushes into the room, "are you okay? are you hurt?"
el gives him a weak smile, "fine." by now the nurse has exited the room, probably to give them some privacy whilst they talk.
he swipes his thumb under her nose to wipe the small dried blood. she nods at him as he nods back, understandably.
"you should be in class. along with you guys." she looks behind him to see the party.
"schools almost over and anyways, i couldn't go to class knowing you were passed out. what happened?"
she shrugs with a sigh, "i'm tired." and though she did mean physically, at the same time she also meant mentally.
and he understood.
"i wanna go home." she starts to breakdown, "i wanna go home." she leans towards him as he hugs her tightly, "i hate it here." she cries quietly.
though she was saying she wanted to go home, most people would think it was their house 10 minutes from here but it obviously wasn't what she meant.
he knew. he knew what she meant and her home was hop and in other words, she was telling him how much she wanted to go join him.
sobbing against his shoulder, he rubs her back comfortingly as she slowly calms down.
"mom's going to be here soon. why don't you lay down? but don't sleep just yet." he tells her as she exhaled shakily before nodding.
"do you want me to get you some food first?" he asks as he helps her lay down again and grabs the empty glass of water.
she shakes her head, "well tough because i'm getting you food." he says as she nods, not even caring at this point.
"i can't hang with you guys today. just go home or hang yourselves." he says to the party who was now by the door.
they all nod, "get better soon, el. text me later." max gives her a wide smile before exiting with lucas.
"i'll get you your chocolate tomorrow then." dustin tells her happily and exits.
she turns the other way to face the wall since she saw that mike still hasn't left.
"can we talk.... later? or tomorrow?" he speaks up, "i think we should talk."
"there's nothing to talk about." she breathes out.
"el-"
"mike, can you please leave? i want to be alone." she begs, "please."
"yeah, right, okay." he nods, "see you."
she doesn't reply and instead shuts her eyes close to let her tears trail down her cheeks.
he sighs quietly, watching her for a second before walking out.
//
"i knew i'd find you here." mike grins, sitting by the cliff edge as el draws on her sketchbook aggressively.
"if you keep up with that, your pencil is going to break." he chuckles as she starts to pack up her stuff without a word.
"silent treatment? really?" he asks, "come on, talk to me."
"there's nothing to talk about." she stands up.
"what the hell are you even pissed about?" he asks, standing up as well as she scoffs, dropping her stuff on the ground.
"you hurt me. you used me, that's what i'm pissed about. you told me you weren't going to hurt me and then you went and ignored me for the whole day and then i see you kissing kylie!? kylie, really!? i mean, i knew you were gonna hurt me yet i still took the chance so this is entirely on me." she laughs sarcastically.
"el-"
"don't el me! you asshole made me think i meant something!" she shoves him, "you made me think you would actually like me but you only used me for pleasure!"
"why are you even so bothered!? it's not like we're even dating!" he exclaims loudly as she gasps inaudibly. he shuts his eyes, realising what he has said, "i didn't mean it that way."
she lets out a sad smile, "you're right, we're not even dating. so stupid of me to think we were something this whole time."
"no, el. please." he grabs his arm as she pulls her hand back, "no. it's okay, it's all on me. i shouldn't have assumed that i meant something to you. i hope you'll have a good life, mike. see you around." she whispers sadly, grabbing her stuff and walks away.
"el!" he shouts after her as she sobs quietly, placing her palm on her face.
she runs a hand through her face as she walks back into the woods and disappears through the trees to go back home.