After me and Draco cleaned up a bit and he gave me his underwear hoodie and jeans to wear we went down to join the others for the game. Honestly I, a 5ft anorexic girl, looked quite ridiculous in my, 6ft muscular, boyfriends clothes. I folded the skinny jeans, which hung off me loosely, halfway up my calf so they stopped at my ankle. And the hoodie, I only wore with my bra underneath, swallowed me up to my knees.
Draco: "you look adorable"
Y/n: "I look ridiculous, can't I leave off the jeans at least you can barely see them anyway this hoodie is so big"
Draco: "I don't want anyone looking at what's mine"
Y/n: "I was wearing a miniskirt all day this is twice as long as that, and you owe me for cumming on my school shirt"
Draco: "it wasn't me that squirted on your skirt though was it"
Y/n: "it was your tongue that made me squirt though"
Draco: "okay I love how sensitive you are to my touch, you can leave off the jeans but stay on my lap the whole evening"
Y/n: "hehehe thank you daddy" oops that kinda just slipped out, Draco smirked
Draco: "mmmh come on before you turn me on again"
Y/n: "yes daddy" Draco growled and grabbed my ass as I walked towards the door making me squeal. He kept his hand under his hoodie gripping my ass through his boxers until we walked into the common room.
Blaise: "there's the noisy couple!"
Y/n: "wha-" I cut myself off as red seeped into my cheeks
Avery: "have a nice time in there 'babygirl'" she teased. I on reflex punched Draco's arm
Draco: "what did I do!?"
Y/n: "I don't knowwww" everyone laughed at me and I hid into Draco's chest
Theo: "fine we'll leave you alone before your face burns off come sit down so we can start"
Blaise: "yh we've been waiting more than the few minutes you said you'd be"
Draco: "I have to deal with her, the she got turned on and I got turned on would you rather have us here horny"
Avery: "true, wait what do you mean deal with something? Deal with y/n? Omg did you do some kinky shit!?"
Y/n: "Avery!!" Draco slapped my butt lightly hinting to everyone without saying it what we were doing
Blaise: "okay okay we already heard enough sit yourselves down fast" we did what he said and he got out a board game called game of life, each of us helped assemble it and pick out and place our pieces.
Theo: "what the hell!?"
Everyone: "what?" We were all taken a back from his sudden cry
Theo: "y/n what on earth happened to your hand??" I suddenly became quite self conscious and retreated into Draco's chest hiding my hands with the sleeves of his hoodie.
Draco: "she got ill from a tearpond, but it's healing now don't pay attention to it"
Theo: "oh right, sorry if I was a little blunt y/n"
Y/n: "oh it's fine you just caught me off guard that's all"
Draco: "wait baby you didn't take your med at lunch"
Y/n: "oh yeah I left it in your room I'll go get it" I went quickly and took the medicine but when I returned there was a strange tension in the room. "Did something happen while I was gone?"
Draco: "no darling sit down let's start the game" little did I know when I sat up recent scars were revealed on my thigh which is what caused the strange tension.
Throughout the next week I was getting better at eating during mealtimes and Draco was proud of my progress but little did he know the only reason I ate slightly more was because every evening I would take the courira potion and run round the sports grounds for an hour until it wore off and I almost collapsed. I also felt super guilty about making Draco think I was better and my urges to self harm kept coming back increasingly stronger. And to top it all off there was a strange tension between the group whenever I was there, Draco and Avery seemed unchanged if we were on our own but the others changed whenever I entered the room. It was almost unnoticeable but my general anxiety highlighted it easily and soon the voice convinced me it was because I was bad to be around because I was ugly and uninteresting. Tonight I was having a full mental breakdown, I was in bed it must've been about 2 in the morning and luckily Pansy was asleep otherwise she would've heard my poorly disguised hyperventilating from the worst anxiety attack I'd had in months. Honestly everything that was going on were just excuses I just needed a reason to let myself fall apart since I'd gotten so mentally exhausted.
Deciding this was going to take a long time I crept shakily out of our dorm into the common room where I'm sure at this time I could go through this easier away from people. As I got into the common room I decided to walk to a closed off corner behind a sort of island where a makeshift kitchen was. The winter iced floor and brick walls were grounding against my bare skin since I was just wearing a strapped top and shorts. But I could slowly feel my mind spinning out of control and ripping away from my body. That's what it felt like, like there were a hundred simultaneous streams of thought hitting against the walls of my mind, and I couldn't actually comprehend any of them. Just overwhelming noise screaming yet painfully silent and completely disordered. Chaos of self destruction pounded in my mind and with each fleeting grasp on one string of consciousness it went flying away stabbing into the limits of my mind. I lowered my head in between my knees and curled up protectively. And my hands came round my head gripping my hair like I was trying to rip out all my thoughts and stop more thoughts stabbing into my mind at the same time. Quickly though I found this position difficult to breath in and ended up with my head leaned back against the wall hands still pulling my hair using the pain to ground me in this reality. That failed to work to too long as well so frantically I stood up not really sure what to do maybe hoping if I ran fast enough I'd be able to out run my own mind. That's when I saw a pizza on the island, it was part of a stack from some 3rd years this evening but they didn't open one and it sat there screaming at me to eat it. Not able to hear either side of my usual war over food in my state I went up to the box and unhesitatingly grabbed a slice stuffing it quickly into my mouth. Then another followed, and another, and another, and another. Soon the entire box was empty and I collapsed back onto the floor. The unfamiliar sensation of being full momentarily acted they the eye of the storm and I realized what I just did. Immediately hyperventilating again I ran to the communal toilet and desperately jammed my fingers down my throat. After a few moments I was throwing up, the hardly digested pizza came up and into the toilet and I cried at the painful sensation and acidity burning my throat. It took 5 minutes before I stopped gagging, I flushed the toilet and grabbed toilet roll wiping my mouth and washing my face. I avoided looking in the dirty mirror I knew was in front of me, I didn't need another chapter to this breakdown. I repeatedly splashed water on my face over an over even though the hot water stopped coming and the cold water was almost burning my hands and face. I leaned over the sink exhausted and cried, whimpering as tears dropped straight from my eyelids into the sink. I can't do this anymore, desperate to end this now I did what I do most times to stop my anxiety attacks getting this bad at all. I walked into the kitchen area looking for a knife. Clumsily I opened drawers and cupboards going from the left checking every vessel and abandoning common sense. Near the end I saw the block of knives of the counter top. Unhesitantly I pulled out the sharpest looking one and slid back down to the floor, I breathed heavily staring intently at the sharp object for a minute before bringing it to hover over my wrist. With another deep breath I pushed down the blade and slashed across my wrist thoughtlessly. I really underestimated the sharpness of the knife. It cut through my skin like paper, though to she honest I wasn't monitoring my velocity and strength. Grabbing my wand from beside me I shakily muttered a healing charm. But it didn't work. I tried steadying my breath and repeating it again but it still didn't work as sudden sharp breaths and whimpers interrupted my words. I knew I hit a key blood vessel because blood was spilling out my wrist in pulses. The increasing volume of blood was scaring me and I knew coherent speak was out of the question.
Then suddenly a very deep powerful voice resounded to my side
Draco: "y/n... Drop the knife, now" I was hyperventilating still and dizzy I just stared at him with glassy eyes full of fear "y/n... Let go of the knife!" he repeated and this time I understood him letting the knife slide out my death grip I didn't even realize was so tight until I felt the ache in my muscles. Immediately he came over to me and cast the spell I'd just been trying to do. Next another spell which cleared all the blood away and the red sea floor and my covered hand were now visible. The adrenaline and pain from that cut helped clear my mind slightly but I was still trapped in a terrified daze and Draco's arms suddenly wrapped around me and my head was in his chest. Subconsciously I wrapped myself all the way on him his arms still pulling me in closer. Then with one arm supporting me underneath he began walking us somewhere. I was still incoherent and didn't care or grasp where we were going.
We were somewhere now, we stopped, that's all I was aware of and I was leaning against malfoy's chest curled against him still in a daze. The rythmic thumping of his heartbeat, instilled order in my own mind as I focused on its regularity. I don't know when but at some point my frozen gaze stopped as my eyelids lowered the curtain of my consciousness. When I began to wake up I closed my fists and moved my head hoping to find comfort in my boyfriend, but he wasn't there and I shot up already hyperventilating again looking at the plain sheets scared I was alone or abandoned for some reason. Suddenly two strong arms wrapped round my shaking body.
Draco: "hey hey I'm right here, shhh sorry baby I'm right here" I grabbed onto his shirt desperately, trying to get closer, trying to escape, to get infinitely closer even though I was already fully held right up in his embrace. I eventually breathed normally again and Draco went to release his hold on my but I scurried further into him pushing him back as I climbed into his arms further
Draco: "okay baby I won't let go" relieved I loosened my fists that were crumpling his shirt. Draco stoked my hair and let me cling to him like a koala for what felt like hours before he spoke
Draco: "what happened baby can you talk to me, anything anything at all"
Y/n: "I er the thoughts... anxiety attack then there was pizza I was sick then it was big and I couldn't breathe and the knife and I didn't mean it so bad" I began crying slightly "I didn't mean to, I promise I tried to stop it but I wouldn't, I couldn't and then you came, I didn't mean to please don't hate me"
Draco: "shhh baby I will never hate you, thank you for telling me I'm proud of you"
Y/n: "you should hate me I lied to you"
Y/n: "I only ate because I ran at night"
Y/n: "I ran for hours every day to burn off everything you made me eat"
Draco: "... Baby... Baby you hear me?" And I realized I'd said all that in my head "why were you having an anxiety attack?"
Y/n: "I felt bad for eating and my urges kept coming back and I felt like everyone but you and Avery suddenly hated being round me"
Draco: "come to me whenever you feel doubt baby, and why would you think that"
Y/n: "ever since game night they all act weird around me and stop talking whenever I enter the room, I know they don't like having me around"
Draco: "no baby that's not it at all"
Y/n: "so there is something though"
Draco: "well I err yes but-"
Y/n: "tell me" my voice was a concoction of desperation, anger and fear which made Draco immediately give in
Draco: "that night when you got up to get your medicine the hoodie rolled up and... they saw the cuts on your leg" I froze... They all knew, everyone had seen me, thinking back to every strange encounter last week I suddenly felt utterly exposed and weak they must've been thinking about it every time they saw me, that's all they'll ever think of when they see me now. They know I'm weak and worthless now, they'll never want anything to do with me. My downward spiral was swiftly interrupted by Draco's soothing voice
Draco: "hey hey hey breathe y/n, you're not breathing, take a deep breath in and let it our don't hold your breath like that"
Y/n: "sorry I didn't realize... They ha-"
Draco: "don't you dare finish that sentence, they were just surprised and worried, they're not sure how to act, not knowing they don't need to act at all. They care about you that's why they seemed different, because someone they care about was hurting, they've already taken it in and moved on I promise"
Y/n: "don't make false promises..."
Draco: "I'm not, they're playboys who've never been in an emotional relationship and they're new to seeing a friend hurt."
Y/n: "okay..." With that conversation over I finally took a second to take in my surroundings and, again, I shot up in anxiety not recognising the place.
Y/n: "where are we!?"
Draco: "hey jumpy, come here" he signalled me to get back into his embrace, once I was there he talked calmly in my ear "I didn't think either of our dorms was a good place to go when I found you like that yesterday. You didn't comprehend anything I was saying so I came here, we're in the room of requirement. I figured you needed a separate, open, safe space when you woke up. Sorry for scaring you by not being there when you did by the way"
Y/n: "oh ok, and it's fine I was a bit extra jumpy I guess"
Draco: "that's okay though we can stay in here for as much more time as you like"
Y/n: "wait what time is it?"
Draco: "7:15"
Y/n: "we can sleep in a bit longer then"
Draco: "pm baby"
Y/n: "what I was asleep for over 20 hours!? We missed lessons the teachers will-"
Draco: "hey... Hey calm down, I got it covered darling just focus on steadying your mind, clearly we're not quite ready to go back yet"
Y/n: "you need to eat... You're not used to starving this long"
Draco: "just because your used to it doesn't make it okay, I'll go get us something once you've fallen asleep"
Y/n: "okay... Thank you Draco"
Draco: "Ew call me a nickname don't don't use the name everyone else calls me, you're special"
Y/n: "hahaha alright, thank you... Daddy"
Draco: "hmmm better, you know what, from now on, whenever it's just us, call me daddy"
Y/n: "okay daddy"
Draco: "good girl, wanna watch some TV?"
Y/n: "yes please daddy"
Draco: "god I could get used to this, what do you want to watch"
Y/n: "oooh ooh! Let's watch Brooklyn 99!"
Draco: "good choice one of the few good Muggle shows" Draco muttered some words and a TV appeared before us and a remote in Draco's hand, he put on a random episode and we began watching.
After giggles, cringe and excitement I yawned in tiny and couldn't help my heavy eye lids fluttering closed. Not sure how long it took but I fell asleep and woke up when the sun started seeping through the windows.
Draco: "morning sleeping beauty" Draco had a gruff low morning voice which made me giggle
Y/n: "I think this is the longest amount I've slept in years" I mumbled, my head still against his chest as I was lying on top of him still "am I not too heavy"
Draco: "don't even go their baby girl, your light, too light. Speaking of which I got us breakfast"
Y/n: "what how I've been on top of you all night"
Draco: "I moved you in your sleep, you're a deep sleeper"
Y/n: "really usually I'm quite a light sleeper, I guess I felt safe enough with you to have a deep sleep"
Draco: "I'm honoured, now let's have some food"
Admittedly the array of patisseries and fruit Draco sourced looked mouthwatering, so I moved my hand cautiously towards a pain au chocolat, but veered to a croissant in the end not wanting the guilt of chocolate. Draco smiled proudly at me and hugged my side at he ate which encourage me to start taking tiny bits too. My small bite size was a semi way to restrict food intake, and also meant Draco ate 3 pastries and an apple by the time I finished. Once I finished I felt a tiny bit of guilt but I also felt a surge of accomplishment, and Draco reflected my emotions in his face silently.
Draco: "have some fruit for you nutrients and vitamins" fruit was easier to eat it's always been a safe food for me so I had a couple grapes, a few raspberries two chunks of melon and a bite of Draco's apple since I didn't want a whole one. I was happy and I'm not genuinely consciously aware of that often so I spoke up.
Y/n: "I'm happy daddy"
Draco: "I'm happy too darling"
Y/n: "I... I love you daddy"
Draco: "and I love you darling"
After we ate, we chatted about nonsense and played a million games of thumb wars and rock paper scissors. Then in the afternoon draco made me have a little more fruit then we had a nap. When we woke up, though I'm not sure if Draco slept at all, I felt far better and told him I was ready to go back, though he didn't want to leave me to go to a lesson on my own so we went to the library instead and did some catch up work in peaceful silence. Because the rest of the school were in class the library was very quiet and it was a nice way to ease my way back into school. When Draco finally left me I spent some time in Avery's dorm gossiping about the past few days and how Draco was being so sweet and fluffy. It was hilarious watching her shocked face as I described the caring things he did for me because he's a cold jerk to everyone and only slightly less so with his friends. Then Avery told me something that made us swap expressions.
Avery: "when Blaise was super drunk he tried to kiss me"
Y/n: "hahaha I'm sorry for leaving you with that I can imagine a hammered Blaise toppling onto you hahahahaha"
Avery: "I know right but when I flicked his head to get him to push off he whined and grumbled and said something like 'why? I should be able to kiss the girl I like'"
Y/n: "omg Blaise Zabini has a crush on you!!!!"
Avery: "yeah and the thing is I kinda like him too..."
Y/n: "... ... WHAT!! omg! Why didn't you kiss him back!!!???"
Avery: "he's a forgetful drunk and there's no way I'm carrying the memory of our first kiss on my own"
Y/n: "true, true... Then we have to set you two up!"
Avery: "errr what are you planning, I don't trust your Cupid skills"
Y/n: "I may not have any practice but I have read a hundred romance novels, and you not in waring families and he's not in a superior class to you so you're already half way there!"
Avery: "now I'm more worried"
Y/n: "no listen, all lovers need a push to get them to admit their feelings. I Cupid will provide that push"
Avery: "okay..."
Y/n: "most couples confess in a high stress situation, how would you feel about a near death experience?"
Avery: "what!? No!"
Y/n: "ugh boring, fine, how about trapped on your own with him?"
Avery: "sounds better..."
Y/n: "got it tomorrow is quidditch team try outs right, so he'll be there to help selection with the rest of our team, you come to support me, and I'll lock you two in the equipment cupboard together when he's packing away!"
Avery: "um I don't know"
Y/n: "come on it's a fool proof plan I'll even get Draco to help"
Avery: "I'll agree as long as Draco is involved I trust his abilities in conniving schemes far more than you"
Y/n: "why do I feel offended"
Avery: "we're Slytherins hon"
Y/n: "but the point is you agree and you and Blaise are gonna shag!"
Avery: "excuse me"
Y/n: "what it'll happen at some point and 'become girlfriend and boyfriend' is too long to cry out"
Avery: "you're weird"
Y/n: "and you're in love!... Let's go!"
Eventually, when Avery's roommate kicked me out for being loud, around 8pm, I went back to my own dorm room. Though I immediately wishes I hadn't when my own roommate greeted me.
Pansy: "look what the cat dragged in, suprise it's you trash"
Y/n: "that was really unimaginative, you're getting sloppy Pansy"
Pansy: "huh whatever, where have you been recently, because you weren't here or in lessons"
Y/n: "none of your business"
Pansy: "I heard you got a booty call from an old man you whore"
Y/n: "that's an obvious lie' I was with Draco" she seemed enraged when I said this
Pansy: "you may think he likes you but he just pities you, you really think you deserve a happy ending with him? Would your father walk you down the isle? You know, what would your parents think if they found out their daughter was a slut"
Y/n: "is that a threat, because I know for a fact any letter with the Parkinson seal wouldn't get passed our gate"
Pansy: "wha-"
Y/n: "I'm a Beaux bitch, my family owns your family's ratty business, and from what I heard you're not a good investment"
Pansy: "and from what I heard the Beaux's didn't have a daughter, do they even love you"
Y/n: "Draco does" I smirked at her and she came towards me to slap me but I grabbed the vile I was looking for and dashed out the door "bitches really do be crazy, yikes"
Like I was on autopilot I started jogging towards the dorm exit and took a gulp of the courira potion as I went.
Draco: "hey darling where you off two" shit Draco's voice came from the armchair in the corner
Y/n: "oh, hey, I need to find one of my teachers about catch up work, got to go see ya" the potion was already kicking in and it was actually painful not to sprint to the door and down the halls as I turned away from Draco.
Draco: "okay then... Bye!" She shouted but I had already left the common room, I must be getting better at lying to him. wait that's not a good thing, I'm lying to my boyfriend, I'm a horrible person, he doesn't deserve such a shallow wreck. My self hatred pushed me to work myself harder and I maintained a fast sprint for the first half an hour of my run. Over the rest of the 2 hours I ran at my usual pace, surprisingly quick considering my height though, and in a daze I didn't realize I'd strayed from the sports grounds and ended up on the cliff side by some trees when the potion wore off. When I dropped involuntarily to the ground, my eyes automatically went to my body. I was slightly happy with my progress, my stomach was flat and thin and my legs were even a little defined due to all the running, it was far better than the bloating I'd get when I used to binge and purge. I was breathing heavily my doped exercise catching up with me, suddenly a dry finger like thing wrapped around my ankle. I looked down and saw the vines of a plant coming up from the soil and reaching for my limbs. Naturally I screamed and began pushing myself of the floor trying to escape this thing. I reached in my bra for my wand only to realize it wasn't there. I'm so stupid, I got so caught up in my argument with Pansy I left my wand under my pillow. I tried ripping the vines but it was dark and hard to see and when I touched them thorns dug into my hands. Multiple reaching extensions of rough wood were wrapped round me now and tugged me back and I fell on the ground hitting my head. Suddenly a booming voice accompanied the retreating of the spiked vines from my body revealing a plethora of scratches.
???: "What are you doing out here?" I turned to see the person talking to me but it took a few seconds to adjust to the light and make out a face
Hagrid: "a young student like yourself shouldn't be wandering these grounds, especially so late at night"
Y/n: "sorry Hagrid, I was walking about and got lost in thought, and lost literally"
Hagrid: "well you should know this area has all kinds of evil shrubbery, you alright?"
Y/n: "yep just a few scratches, thanks for that by the way"
Hagrid: "well I heard a scream from my hut, can't ignore that, what kind of giant man would I be"
Y/n: "thank anyway, I should go back to my dorm now before Snape sees me and deducts house points"
Hagrid: "oh right you are, I ain't never seen you now off you go"
Y/n: "bye!" I sped off in the direction of the Slytherin dorms. I'd probably gone almost 2/3 of the way round the castle but I was wary of the evil woods. Luckily I got back without being seen by any teachers. I spoke the password and the stone wall opened revealing the passage to the common room and dorms, but when I turned the corner I was met with two blue/grey eyes staring straight at me and I froze.
Draco: "either you have a lot of work, or you lied to me baby girl. I'm guessing it's the latter"
Y/n: "you waited for me!?"
Draco: "you're to volatile to blindly trust, you're proving my point right now"
Y/n: "I'm not, I just went for a walk that's all"
Draco: "if that's all why would you lie, especially when you know how much I hate it"
Y/n: "..." Think y/n, oh got it "fine, Pansy was being a bitch and talking shit about us, me and I wanted to clear my head"
Draco: "that whore, I swear I'm going to hex her one day"
Y/n: "hey don't call her that, you say that to me it's my name"
Draco: "no, you're my whore, she's just a whore, desperate and lonely. Come here baby girl" I finally moved from my rooted position at the entrance to the common room. And once I got closer Draco shot up with a worried expression and walked towards me. I was confused until I followed his gaze down to my calves which were covered in scratches.
Y/n: "he heh... I kinda got grabbed by an evil plant, but I'm okay don't worry"
Draco: "this is why I need to watch over you darling, why haven't you healed it?"
Y/n: "I left my wand on accident"
Draco: "you worry me baby girl" he then muttered some words and the stinging sensation I forgot was present began to fade with the marks on my legs. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"
Y/n: "well I hit my head and fell on my butt" Draco cupped my cheek and kissed a small graze he only just noticed while his other hand Ran down my top onto my leggings and began rubbing my butt.
Draco: "feel better"
Y/n: "yes thank you daddy" I hugged him and he carried on caressing my butt, occasionally giving a playful squeeze which made me squeal and him chuckle in return. After a good 5 minutes he let go and lifted my chin with one finger to place a peck on my lips.
Draco: "night darling"
Y/n: "night dra- daddy" I corrected myself and Draco gave me another peck before tapping my butt in the direction of my dorm as he went to his.