Chapter 31 – "Back to Basics" – DPOV
After getting everyone home, Meredith went to take a nap, Hannah went to do her homework, Sebastian was confined to a small square foot area of his bedroom and Ian was playing with Dani, and her Barbie dolls.
Needless to say, I spent a long time out on the front porch.
I sat in the wood porch swing that Meredith hounded me for weeks to help her put together, I finally got tired of hearing her nag and smashed my fingers three times before I finally got it done, I cursed and cussed and resented the damn thing... but then she came out and sat down in it, the smile on her face made every second of the torture worth it.
I looked out across the land that showed parts of our life that we'd accomplished. Things that we never thought we'd get done and somehow we managed to get it done. Why did life decide suddenly to give up on us now? If this was my Karma, why did it have to rain down on them too? Why can't I just have my own punishment and leave them out of it...
I sucked in a breath of fresh air as the sun started to set across the horizon. It was so peaceful, so beautiful. Meredith and I had fallen in love with this place upon first sight, we had to build everything up from scratch but in the end it was worth it.
And suddenly it clicked.
I stood up and waltzed back into my house and called out to everyone "Family meeting in the living room, five minutes!"
Heads peeked out of doors as they whispered to each other, wondering what was going on. Slowly they all came down the stairs and trickled into the living room.
"Seriously." Hannah scoffed as she sat down on the couch "we've never had a family meeting, why start now?"
"We've never needed one." I sighed "Everyone sit down."
They glanced at each other but did so. Meredith sat down gracefully interested on the chair next to where I was standing looking at everyone.
"Tonight after dinner you all are to do one thing and one thing only. Pack."
"Pack?" they all said at once.
"Are we going on a trip daddy!" Dani gasped "Oh yay!"
"We are going on a trip." I confirmed.
"Where?" Sebastian asked "What do we need to pack?"
"You will know when we get there." I answered "And pack for three days worth, that's all you get to know."
"I hope it's not Disneyland." Meredith mumbled beside me "Giant mouse's freak me out."
***
It was 4am when I finally stopped tossing and turning. Ever since moving into the guest bedroom I hadn't been able to sleep well, I didn't think it was all that uncomfortable, so much as it was missing something that I'd had for fifteen prior years.
I got up and went downstairs and started getting everything ready, I packed six packing backpacks, fully equipped with basic essentials to survive the wilderness and left them room enough for a small stack of clothes.
At a quarter to five I went upstairs, I started for the kids bedrooms but I stopped at the half open door to my former bedroom. I peered in and saw her sleeping, tossing and turning a little and mumbling as if she were having some sort of bad dream. My heart ached a little and I slipped inside, I walked quietly to her bedside and knelt next to the bed. I softly smoothed my hand over her cheek and she stopped moving but didn't wake up.
"I miss you." I whispered "I know I don't deserve to, but I do..I miss you. But mostly I just miss telling you that I love you, because I do Meredith, I love you so much. And I know that somewhere you are still in there, so if that's the case...please, find your way back to me."
I softly kissed her forehead and stood up to gaze at her a little longer.
Her eyes fluttered open and for a split second it was like she was her old self again, looking at me like she always did first thing in the morning. But her face quickly fell into a look of confusion and her eyes darted all over the place.
"Well what are you just standing there for!" she scolded "Get me some god damn coffee and my day's order of events."
"Right away Mrs. Grey." I smirked. I did love it when she bossed me.
I walked out and went into each other kids rooms, giving them a lovely rude and early awakening, when I heard them getting up I retreated downstairs to get my lady a cup of coffee but was surprised when she greeted me with one by the time I reached the doorway. To top it off she was already dressed as if she knew where we were going, no need to pick out an outfit for her today.
"Meredith?"
"I don't know who Meredith is." She shrugged "But you look like you needed a cup of this, and I need to wake up a little better before those soldiers come marching down the stairs whining about how god awfully early it is."
"Thank you." I smiled a little bitter sweetly. I knew that expecting a miracle was a long shot, but didn't mean I didn't secretly hope.
One by one the sleepy headed children all made their way downstairs, they were given a granola bar and ushered out the door. Hannah headed for the SUV in the driveway and the others started to follow.
"Where are you going?" I asked as I hoisted my pack onto my back.
"To the car." She scoffed with a look that told me I was stupid. "How the heck are we supposed to get wherever you're taking us?"
"On foot." I retorted, they all looked at me like I had to be joking "Get your backpack let's go."
"You can't be serious." Hannah huffed.
"I'm very serious." I smiled widely "Now hurry or you'll have to run to catch up."
I turned and started walking away from the house, I heard the kids scuffling and arguing with themselves as they tried to catch up. I looked over when I heard a familiar song humming and saw Meredith, she smiled at me but went back to humming a song. I smiled to myself as I remembered the song from our wedding, so I started humming it myself.
"You know that song?" she asked.
"Of course I do." I replied "It's a good song."
"Yeah." She smiled "For some reason I can't get it out of my head...and even weirder, it makes me think of white dresses."
I tried not to get too giddy, so I went back to humming. We hiked up the main trail behind the house and then off onto a smaller one that only myself and very avid hikers knew about. I could hear the kids starting to complain after an hour of steep hiking and how heavy their packs were starting to get.
"Dad." Hannah finally whined "How much longer are we going to be at this...it's not good for the baby."
"It's not good for my feet." Sebastian muttered "Can we just stop now?"
"Walking is very healthy for pregnancy." I hissed over my shoulder "Something you would know if you'd prepared yourself at all for it. And Sebastian I suggest just keeping quiet before I reconsider the officer's decision to leave your punishment up to me as opposed to the state."
They both shut their mouths and two minutes later we got to the clearing and I gently let my backpack fall to the ground. The kids all stepped out into it with awe-dumbstruck expressions as they looked around at the emptiness.
"Seriously." Hannah hissed "You brought us all this way for nothing?"
"It could be worse." I scoffed "I could just put you at the bottom of a wine cellar until you're all 25!"
"Threatening at them won't do you any good." Meredith muttered behind me.
"Well then what would you suggest I do?" I mumbled.
"You brought us all here for a reason, tell us the reason."
I sucked in a deep breath and looked at the tired frustrated faces of my children. I knew that I was the one that caused most of this, that this destructive behavior was my blame... but I had to do something to wake them up and this was all I could think to do so...let's just roll with it.
"Look around you." I said to them "No SUV to carry you everywhere you want to go, no cell phones to talk to your friends, no computers to occupy your time, no refrigerator, no stove, no running water, just the bare basics that nature provides for us to survive off of." I tightened my jaw and let out a rough sigh "Keep going down the road that you all are traveling and this is exactly what you will get out of life. A whole lot of nothing...so, lesson time; Hannah and Ian, set up the tent. Sebastian and Dani go find us some firewood."
They all looked at each other and then at me as if I'd just grown a second head.
"Go!" I yelped "We don't have all day!"
They all jumped into action but sure to throw me sharp glances over their shoulders. I let out a soft sigh and turned to see Meredith standing there with a look of criticized contemplation on her face.
"I'm sure you have a nice comment for me after that."
Her eyes tightened and the corner of her mouth turned up as her eyebrow raised.
"Actually....I was going to tell you that what you're doing is perfect."