A strange sound in the bedroom woke me up from my sleep. A yawn escaped me as I rubbed my eyes and then turned on the lamp on the bedside table. I immediately found the source of what had interrupted my sleep. Rylan's rapid breathing is loud as she's restlessly moving around to the point she is halfway out of the mattress.
Biting my teeth together, I try to figure out what's the best way to approach this. Should I just let her be or wake her up? It's hard to know, considering it's Rylan. She is stubborn and don't people to care about her problems. Yet a voice in the back of my head says something else.
Throwing the duvet aside, I leaped out of bed and bent down by her side.
"Rylan," I whispered, but she didn't hear me.
"Rylan," I said again and laid my hand on her arm. With a gasp, she raised herself and clutched my wrist tightly.
"Rylan," I winced to her painful grip on me. She let go immediately and touched her wounded arm with widened eyes.
"You are okay," I said lightly as her breathing wouldn't calm down.
"Look at me," I placed my hand on her cheek to force her eyes on me. Worry clenched its strong hand around my heart as I have never seen her eyes so wide with fright before.
"You are home. You are safe," I said quietly and as calmly as I could, considering how hard my heartbeat hits my ribcage right now. Her being sacred makes me afraid as she is always the one in control, the one that I depend on to keep me in check.
"Rylan," I brought her attention back onto me as her gaze drifted all over the room. With my hand on her cheek, I forced her back down on the mattress. I laid down with her as the tension in her body won't drift away. I wanted to ask her if she needed to talk about it, but as I know, Rylan, that is the last thing she would desire to do.
I slipped my hand at the back of her damp neck and into her blonde hair. With soft movements of my hand, she closed her eyes for a second but opened them again with a changed expression. Tiredness and exhaustion exposed themselves so clearly that the concern for her raised in my chest again.
"You don't have to be so strong all the time," I whispered to her after she had closed her eyes again as I caressed the back of her head. Even though she is warm and clammy, her hair remains as soft as silk against my skin.
"It's okay to let go once in a while," Her eyes slowly opened slightly to peek at me, but they shut close only a second later. I smiled as I sensed how her heartbeat went back at a steady pace and the muscles that were once strained had softened underneath her skin.
Rylan's lips parted and it made me smile as her breathing had settled into a steady rhythm. Even though she has fallen asleep, I can't make myself stop touching the back of her head. It's not only soothing for her but for me as well.
She might talk about my high walls, but Rylan has a fortress around herself compared to me. It's incredible how she can talk about how beautiful I am without my borders. Yet, when it comes to herself, she is too harsh. In her eyes, everyone around her is allowed to be fragile, except for her.
She is so beautiful in her unique way and she tries so hard to hide it most of the time, which is annoying. However, once in a while, she shows that she does really care. She might not use words, but it's her actions that speak for her. I'm not sure if she is aware that the things she does are the ones that unfold her kindness, selflessness and generosity.
Without any thought, I leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek as carefully as I could not wake her. I let my lips linger for a few seconds as I couldn't find the strength in me to pull back from her soft skin. Slowly I moved back and Rylan reminded asleep.
The thought of going back to my bed hit, but I'm scared that if I do as much as a significant motion, I will wake her up. It's the last thing I wish to do as she finally fell asleep. If I wake her up, she might be able to sleep after. Biting my lip, I decided to stay even though I lay halfway out of the mattress. I guess some things are worth sacrificing for others, but for Rylan, I would give up the entire world if I had to.